Quitting Pornography and Tobacco Journal

[Someone here]

12 hours ago, LSD-Rumi said:

You cannot take more than a SSRI medication at the same time, are sure you are taking SSRIs?

 

I Take Zyprexa ..Invega ..Prozac.. & Zoloft . My therapist have prescribed them to me two years ago because I suffered from anxiety and panic attack . And I still take them daily .

Tbh I'm not sure about their technical classification. But they are psychiatric pills . Which are generally known from affecting erection of the penis .

But as I said ..I didn't even masturbate for few months now . But no day has passed without watching pornhub .

[LSD-Rumi]

On 11/29/2024 at 5:31 PM, Someone here said:

..Prozac.. & Zoloft

Two SSRIs.

On 11/29/2024 at 5:31 PM, Someone here said:

Zyprexa ..Invega

Two antipsychotics. 

You have a weird doctor for sure, Most prescribe a combo of a single SSRi medication and a single antipsychotic.

[Someone here]

23 hours ago, LSD-Rumi said:

You have a weird doctor for sure

Could be . Either way i don't think at all that the problem is in my therapist. I've spoken with him a ton and he helped me with my anxiety. 

I will stress this point again : I could care less about masturbation. I don't masturbate that often nor does it even cross my mind that I should have a wank . Yet ..I watch porn every single day . That is what is problematic. I'm addicted to watching porn and downloading new movies. Kinda like making a collection of porn hits . That's the proplem.  It has nothing to do withy libido ..my dick ..my balls ..my testosterone levels etc...It has to do with my BRAIN. 

Edited December 1 by Someone here

[Princess Arabia]

18 minutes ago, Someone here said:

Could be . Either way i don't think at all that the problem is in my therapist. I've spoken with him a ton and he helped me with my anxiety. 

I will stress this point again : I could care less about masturbation. I don't masturbate that often nor does it even cross my mind that I should have a wank . Yet ..I watch porn every single day . That is what is problematic. I'm addicted to watching porn and downloading new movies. Kinda like making a collection of porn hits . That's the proplem.  It has nothing to do withy libido ..my dick ..my balls ..my testosterone levels etc...It has to do with my BRAIN. 

The problem is you seeing it as a problem. Problems don't go away. Problems are Problems. The way you see them does. Then they cease to be Problems. Sorry if this doesn't resonate. Just trying to help.

[Someone here]

12 hours ago, Princess Arabia said:

The problem is you seeing it as a problem. Problems don't go away. Problems are Problems. The way you see them does. Then they cease to be Problems. Sorry if this doesn't resonate. Just trying to help.

No need to apologise. 

So let me get this straight ..you're saying that toxic garbage called porn isn't inherently bad..wrong ..or problematic at all ? Weird coming from a woman .

[LSD-Rumi]

13 hours ago, Someone here said:

Yet ..I watch porn every single day . That is what is problematic. I'm addicted to watching porn and downloading new movies. Kinda like making a collection of porn hits . That's the proplem.  It has nothing to do withy libido ..my dick ..my balls ..my testosterone levels etc...It has to do with my BRAIN. 

That's weird.

 I am like rub your meat, release your seed, and move on.

[Someone here]

1 hour ago, LSD-Rumi said:

That's weird.

 I am like rub your meat, release your seed, and move on.

That's how it was back in my teens (15_19)

Nowadays what's more important than nutting is the 8 Gigabit collection of the hottest porn scenes .

Bro I watch high quality mind blowing porn ..forget about brazzers and that kinda boring nonsense. I watch cinematic artistic porn..it has hooked my brain and got me by the balls .

Edited December 2 by Someone here

[Princess Arabia]

3 hours ago, Someone here said:

No need to apologise. 

So let me get this straight ..you're saying that toxic garbage called porn isn't inherently bad..wrong ..or problematic at all ? Weird coming from a woman .

Why call it toxic garbage, compared to what, a church service, a family movie. When you take a dump, what comes out, isn't it toxic garbage, do you jerk off to dumps. I mean. We create meaning. Then we fight the meanings. Weird coming from a woman, because you also created what that means for you. Don't you see how we fight our own minds. People will say all sorts of things and believe all sorts of things, which will eventually become true for them. Somebody will read this and say, what is she talking about, porn ruined my life and i was addicted and couldn't get a girlfriend or i couldn't function or whatever they say. That may be true but it's because of how they saw the porn to begin with.

You calling it toxic garbage is the problem. What you say about it. You don't have to call it anything. You don't even have to judge yourself or it. Don't judge the thoughts that come up surrounding it. Just fucking see it as you drinking a glass of water or walking down the street or reading a book. Watch the body in action not the mind. How is a TV screen with some pixels garbage. Idk, maybe its the stories the mind invents around it. 

[Princess Arabia]

1 hour ago, Someone here said:

That's how it was back in my teens (15_19)

Nowadays what's more important than nutting is the 8 Gigabit collection of the hottest porn scenes .

Bro I watch high quality mind blowing porn ..forget about brazzers and that kinda boring nonsense. I watch cinematic artistic porn..it has hooked my brain and got me by the balls .

I thought you described it as toxic garbage, now it's high-quality artistic cinematic porn. I'm done. I'm through with this human bullshit. I have to be inventing all this shit up. Nothing makes sense and I'm trying to make it do. Fuck it. This is just a fucking circus show. I'm all in. That's it. Hey all its just a fucking circus, or tragedy, depends on how you look at it. Enjoy the ride. Don't take it too seriously. It's a joke,

[Someone here]

@Princess Arabia listen my love ..I understand exactly where you're coming from ..I dig it ..don't judge ..it's all meaningless vibrations and fake moans from a fucking screen showing pixels of 10 guys cumming bukaku on a teen girl's face ......yada yada 

Listen ..Every single male on the entire planet watches porn and wanks his Johnson every once in a while ..and any dude who denies this is simply a blatant liar 🤥. Doesn't matter if he is single or in a relationship with Scarlett johansson or Shakira....same same ..

This absolutest philosophy of yours won't cut it when it comes to practical issues. Stop this spiritual nihilism. Things have meaning. Relative of course but still .

If Porn is no biggie then why it's prohibited to post porn here ? What's wrong with profanity ? You gotta be careful. 

. I really am not here to argue or get in conflicts with anyone. I understand your post yes. Really I am not trying to hurt anyone or start a war with another user. Also I accept all the character flaws you are pointing out. This type of advice might be in line with absolute truth yet isn't handy .

[Someone here]

32 minutes ago, Princess Arabia said:

I thought you described it as toxic garbage, now it's high-quality artistic cinematic porn. I'm done. I'm through with this human bullshit. I have to be inventing all this shit up. Nothing makes sense and I'm trying to make it do. Fuck it. This is just a fucking circus show. I'm all in. That's it. Hey all its just a fucking circus, or tragedy, depends on how you look at it. Enjoy the ride. Don't take it too seriously. It's a joke,

Actually the more "high quality " it is the more garbage-like it is . You are just not connecting the dots . Softcore regular porn doesn't arouse me ..I watch clips with detailed plots ..If you want I can pm you the names of the brand or I mean the website or the porn channel.

I get it you are just being yourself no worries .

[Princess Arabia]

3 minutes ago, Someone here said:

This absolutest philosophy of yours won't cut it when it comes to practical issues. Stop this spiritual nihilism. Things have meaning. Relative of course but still .

If Porn is no biggie then why it's prohibited to post porn here ? What's wrong with profanity ? You gotta be careful.

I get it. I understand. We still have to follow societal rules. It's part of life. You continue to live your practical life while i see the "other side" as practical and this shitty existence of mind control the impractical. The so-called practical life as you call it hasn't worked for most people so far and most are suffering, having panic attacks, lonely, depressed, anxious, angry, suicidal and whatever else. You call that practical. I call the flip side practical. No stress, no worries, just going with the flow, the stress and the worries ain't mine theryre just there and ilm not in battle with them. I won't seek advice over them, i won't make threads about them nor seek therapy. I won't even try to control anything. I even let that be. I'm not in conflict with the mind. There's nothing practical here. That's another mind control. I never said porn was a biggie or not a biggie. Who the fuck cares if you watch porn all day or not. You and only you. Why call it a biggie or not. Who cares. You. Why write about it. Why care if you watch it. All the reasons you're coming up with is still you. What is the solution. None. Because there isn't a problem. 

Most of you are the nihilists. I'm not sitting jn my room saying woah me. Most of you are. Go read the fucking forum topics today, go see how many nihilist you find. Go see how many problems need to be solved. How many minds are going berserk. Go. Go read the topics from now on. This isn't nihilism, dear, it's being at peace with life. I'm not trying to get enlightened, that's nihilism, saying something is wrong with me and i have to figure out how to not suffer and become something else. All or most of you are the nihilists. Show me one post of mine where I'm trying to change or not happy with myself, the world existence and what's happening. None. Apart from normal day to day stuff. I don't make an issue with life and i'm not passive with it nor have I given up saying it's all hopeless. I don't fucking give a shit. I don't care if I'm happy or sad. I don't care. This is how you truly embrace life not trying to fix yourself and your mind's activity. Not looking for something from it. Not trying to use life for your advantage. Life is the most beautiful thing and JUST IS. Faults and all, addictions and all. ALL OF IT. Don't tell me about nihilism. I wake up everyday with life on my mind, with the beauty of it all in my mind. If I feel sad, thats beautiful. I don't need to ask for advice on how to make the sadness go away. That goes for every other emotion. Let me stop. Enjoy your day.

[Someone here]

12 minutes ago, Princess Arabia said:

I get it. I understand. We still have to follow societal rules. It's part of life. You continue to live your practical life while i see the "other side" as practical and this shitty existence of mind control the impractical. The so-called practical life as you call it hasn't worked for most people so far and most are suffering, having panic attacks, lonely, depressed, anxious, angry, suicidal and whatever else. You call that practical. I call the flip side practical. No stress, no worries, just going with the flow, the stress and the worries ain't mine theryre just there and ilm not in battle with them. I won't seek advice over them, i won't make threads about them nor seek therapy. I won't even try to control anything. I even let that be. I'm not in conflict with the mind. There's nothing practical here. That's another mind control. I never said porn was a biggie or not a biggie. Who the fuck cares if you watch porn all day or not. You and only you. Why call it a biggie or not. Who cares. You. Why write about it. Why care if you watch it. All the reasons you're coming up with is still you. What is the solution. None. Because there isn't a problem. 

Most of you are the nihilists. I'm not sitting jn my room saying woah me. Most of you are. Go read the fucking forum topics today, go see how many nihilist you find. Go see how many problems need to be solved. How many minds are going berserk. Go. Go read the topics from now on. This isn't nihilism, dear, it's being at peace with life. I'm not trying to get enlightened, that's nihilism, saying something is wrong with me and i have to figure out how to not suffer and become something else. All or most of you are the nihilists. Show me one post of mine where I'm trying to change or not happy with myself, the world existence and what's happening. None. Apart from normal day to day stuff. I don't make an issue with life and i'm not passive with it nor have I given up saying it's all hopeless. I don't fucking give a shit. I don't care if I'm happy or sad. I don't care. This is how you truly embrace life not trying to fix yourself and your mind's activity. Not looking for something from it. Not trying to use life for your advantage. Life is the most beautiful thing and JUST IS. Faults and all, addictions and all. ALL OF IT. Don't tell me about nihilism. I wake up everyday with life on my mind, with the beauty of it all in my mind. If I feel sad, thats beautiful. I don't need to ask for advice on how to make the sadness go away. That goes for every other emotion. Let me stop. Enjoy your day.

definitely agree with that. make the most of your day as well  . "Why make a thread about porn" ..? Well if you care to research the addictive effects of porn on the human brain and how that literally damages the brain and makes people dependent on watching porn you wouldn't say that . You can't relate to a problem which isnt yours . "Who cares ?" I do ..and apparently you do ..because why are you commenting here ?...i said in the first post I'm noticing an addictive behaviour that is affecting my mood .theres also no point in wallowing in self-pity..solation..and rumination. i accidentally typed  spiritual nihilism in my post but i meant absurdism. i mainly say nihilistic because technically absurdism is a subtype of nihilism.. but i should definitely be more specific. Your view on life is not nihilism..it's absurd. Its flexibility is endless .you can bounce back and forth and rationalise everything as you wish . Have it at. Enjoy! 

Much love 😍. 

[Someone here]

Huge relapse . Smoked one cigarette yesterday and jerked off to some weird ass porn . Resetting the counter . I think I've got serious damage in my brain .maybe I need a 12-step program or something more than a public journal. I think I have to fill my time with positivity and healthy  habits to replace the bad habits .that way I can feel like smoking and porn are not worth it to ruin my efforts which I have put into positivity. So I will try to add healthy habits like daily meditation and exercise. 

Porn: day 0.

Cigarettes: day 0.

[Princess Arabia]

Came across this video and thought I'd share here. It might help. Watch anyway.