My True Purpose in Life

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Wow, did no PMO for barely a few days and already feel amazing -- more energy, less brain fog, even more meditative, overall clearer, more alive. Amazing. Want to continue indefinitely, incredible benefits. 

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A poem in my native language about life being illusory. It's from a young poet Vytautas Macernis, around 22y/o:

Gyvenimas – tai geidžiamas apsigavimas!

O kaip norėčiau padaryti jį bekraštį

Ir juo keliauti kaip amžinasis piligrimas,

Ir niekad niekur kelio pabaigos nerasti!

Kaip gera jausti viltį, laimę ir paguodą,

Kaip išganinga, jų netekus, laukti ir kentėti!

Gyvenimas daug atima, bet dar daugiau jis duoda.

Gyvenimas naktis, bet jos skliautai žvaigždėti.

Galbūt jisai iliuzija, kuri vaidenas;

Gal nieko čia nėra, tik šiaip sau rodos,

Bet nebūties pirminis taškas juodas,

Išplitęs kerinčiais vaizdais, koks tyras menas!

Aš jį regiu ant savo sąmonės ekrano

Ir negaliu atsigėrėt, o Dieve mano!

Šarnelė, 1944.II.24

Edited Monday at 11:17 AM by CoolDreamThanks

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The parallel between Lithuanian and Sanskrit is astounding. Here's a poem, once again, about life being a dream, which shows how they are closely related:

Kas tvam asi? Asmi svapnas tava tamase nakte. Agniṃ dadau te śradi tada viśpatir devas tvam asi.

Kas tu esi? Esmi sapnas tavo tamsioje naktyje. Ugnį daviau tau širdy, tada viešpatis dievas tu esi.

It's saying - Who are you? You are a dream in your dark night. I gave you a fire in your heart. Thus, God our Lord, you are. 

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"Be passersby"—considering the duality of the universe and the fact that it's impossible to seek pleasure through the body and not find pain in all areas of life, the best thing to do with life is to pass it by, focusing on God instead. 

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Wherever there is light you will always find shadows.  
 

Wherever there is easy sex there are STD’s.  
 

Wherever there is a soulmate there is a deep deep heartbreak. 
 
Wherever there is psychedelic medicine and bliss there is also going psycho and destroying your nervous system. 
 

where there is porn and video games there is lethargy and lack of motivation. 
 

wherever there is lust there is the end of connection to God. 
 

Life is literally an ebb and flow of the waves of duality. Pain and pleasure. Excitement and dissappontment. Relationships and heartbreak. Bliss and misery.  
 

the only way out is to trascend these dualities letting them all go and focusing on the non-dual Spirit inside, which, when it’s the only thing left - brings us back to Heaven, where there is only infinite explosion of magnificent love for all eternity. That is the purpose of my life.

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How truly lonely it is at the pinnacle of spiritual evolution. There is no one to talk to, no one understands you. 

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That’s why in ACIM Jesus says (paraphrasing): 

 

you think you are gifting me flowers, but in truth, you are putting a crown on thorns upon my head and blood courses down my face. Blood drenches my garbs as deep as the flowers you gave cover my garden. 
 

it’s impossible to gain pleasure through bodies, throught his world, and not be rewarded with the equivalent measure of pain. 
 

this understanding is freedom.

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Awaken 

 

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So letting go of lust and no pmo is good, but the other dopamine addictions will also have to be let go - which is pretty much the whole internet, so I’l have to let go of music, anime, movies, comedies, shopping.  But if I do let go of it all, then the reward is becoming enlightened and living in endless bliss forever. I’ve done it for months already, I know the benefits and enlightenment is true and that I can do it. But I wi probably relapse, or maybe not, but I have to try. 
 

 

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I want to awaken quickly because I really want to avoid hardcore suffering that this world can cause, especially at old age. There’s no knowing what desease I will have when I’m old and how much I will suffer. I also don’t know jow my next life would be if I didnt wake ip in this one - because of the duality of existence, if this one was good, next one might be hell. Althoguh unlikely because of the level of consciousness, but still, the idea is that delaying is not wise and not loving towarda myself — it’s best to cut of myself from this cycle of suffering quickly.

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It's not even a week of no PMO, but I already feel tangible benefits. Besides needing less sleep and overall higher energy levels and motivation, I also notice that it's easier to control my mind, to direct it away from unproductive, negative thoughts towards silence. I feel more in control of my internal world. That's huge. 

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Regarding using psychedelics for enlightenment - I love that Yash tried this, the thing I was planning to try, and shared how things go. At first, it seems to work, but then the nervous system gets overloaded, and you get fried. Psychedelics will not enlighten you, they give a glimpse and that's it, more than that is just another addiction and ego stuff. A lot of psychosis and other side effects come from psychedelics. Even confusion, although it's the opposite of the impact we want them to have. Never using them again. 

Psychedelics are still of this universe, and they are subject to the laws of this plain - the law of pleasure and pain - up and down - duality. Since they provide such a huge upside, the downside is often terrible. No thank you, had enough. let me improve steadily and slowly instead, using no pmo, meditation, letting go of lust on all levels as well as addiction to dopamine from the internet, shopping, etc. That's the goal of life and it doesn't require any outside help.

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100%!

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hmm, so is he saying that you should NOT use your will to fight additictions, but instead practice Presence until you become so still that addictions fade away from awareness naturally? Control of behaviour is ego?

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Hmm it’s helpful and at the same time gets confusing listening to different people from different paths. In DU they call this the spiritual buffet. 

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David or Jesus said: don’t put anything (food) inbetween you and your brother. I do that sometimes - I’ll get into an argument with family because they I dont want to eat meat and they serve it. Will stop doing that.

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Hm so is the idea that dopamine is responsible for motivation and you deatroy thay motivation system by wasting dopamine a law of this world? Meaning, you imbue that activity with that power, you give agents in your dream power over you?  
 

but then what about the qoute; its impossible to seek for pleasure through the body and not find pain? In this case shouldn’t you stop seeking pleasure as it will hurt you? But then I feel like I need to fight myself and Jesus says don’t fight yourself… confused.
 

ah I think I get it - I have bits and pieces of ACIM, that’s why it doesnt make sense. Need to grasp it in totality by actually doing it.

Edited Thursday at 03:34 PM by CoolDreamThanks

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So ego is saying - change this, change that, thats better and pure thats dirty and wrong 

 

and spirit is saying - it’s all the same dream, just flow, sont judge, your mind is what guves agents in the dream power, take it back, make it all good and holly, even one night stands - they can be an amazing gift, a beautifull holly encounter, if its not judged and loved. Wowe