Jordan's Meditation Journal 1 Hour 2x / Day

[Jordan]

Hello, I wanted to create a new journal as I plan to start meditating consistently again.

Goal: Meditate for an hour 2x per day without missing a day for 1 year.

Plan: Start with mantra meditation for the whole hour where I just spend the whole time focusing on the sound of the mantra as I internally repeat it in my mind. I can also contemplate the meaning of the mantra "Bama Nam Kevalam" which means something like "Infinate love is all there is"

Previous benefits: Before it gave me vivid dreams which was really cool. I also saw visions of the future stock market moves which made me some money.

Some important things I learned from meditating before is:

-Have no goals or expectations as you meditate (yes I do have a goal to meditate but as I meditate I need to start out by forgetting my goals or fantasies of what could happen and just experience what happens as it happens.) 

-Know it is 100% ok and expected to get distracted, just continue with the practice and be aware of what is happening now.

-Set an alarm and have a reason to wait until the time is up - I will increase the time by 20 minutes if I stop and the start again as soon as I can.

I will start after I go rock climbing today. 2024-11-10

I will update with how it goes.

Edited November 10, 2024 by Jordan

[Sugarcoat]

Cool. I’m thinking of starting to meditate too again. Goal is also about 2 hours a day. 

[Jordan]

@Sugarcoat  Sounds good. I wish you luck with your goal

I meditated for an hour a little while ago. I got a message from my landlord 52 minutes in to help with something so I did the rest of the time after without adding 20 minutes. The time seemed to go by pretty quickly. I nodded off a bit maybe around 8 times but eventually I got more energized and focused. I heard something outside my window which got me laser focused listening to what was there while still doing the mantra. I did my best to stay focused with continuous internal noise/silence listening. I am feeling good now.

Edited November 11, 2024 by Jordan

[Sugarcoat]

10 hours ago, Jordan said:

@Sugarcoat  Sounds good. I wish you luck with your goal

I meditated for an hour a little while ago. I got a message from my landlord 52 minutes in to help with something so I did the rest of the time after without adding 20 minutes. The time seemed to go by pretty quickly. I nodded off a bit maybe around 8 times but eventually I got more energized and focused. I heard something outside my window which got me laser focused listening to what was there while still doing the mantra. I did my best to stay focused with continuous internal noise/silence listening. I am feeling good now.

Thanks you too. 
 

Keep it up. 

[Jordan]

I meditated last night and this morning. It became uncomfortable in the last 15 minutes of both of them. I moved around and looked at the timer a few times. I did feel good afterward like my brain was massaged. I had a dream that I forgot soon after waking up. I felt a bit stressed from the dream. It was not a vivid dream though. I only slept around 6 hours. Usually I sleep around 7-8 hours.

[Sugarcoat]

5 hours ago, Jordan said:

I meditated last night and this morning. It became uncomfortable in the last 15 minutes of both of them. I moved around and looked at the timer a few times. I did feel good afterward like my brain was massaged. I had a dream that I forgot soon after waking up. I felt a bit stressed from the dream. It was not a vivid dream though. I only slept around 6 hours. Usually I sleep around 7-8 hours.

It’s very tempting to look at the timer I know that feeling exactly. It’s a challenge to not do it or move around 

[Jordan]

16 hours ago, Sugarcoat said:

It’s very tempting to look at the timer I know that feeling exactly. It’s a challenge to not do it or move around 

Yes, for now I will let myself do it if I feel it is getting too uncomfortable. After a while I might put the timer in another room. I did that before and it worked well.

I meditated last night. After 30 minutes I was already struggling and looked at the timer. I stuck with it and did the best I could for the rest of the time. I don't think I had too many takeaways from it. Just practicing.

I remembered a lot of my dreams from last night. Usually I forget shortly after waking up. This is what I wrote down in my phone after waking up:  

 

I was holding 2 steaks walking in the snow to a party. 2 bears blocked my path. I placed the steaks on the ground for them but they wouldn’t eat it. I called for help as I was close to the house that was throwing the party. My grandpa came outside and the bears slowly turned around and wandered off and I got inside. I remember being scolded for wasting the steaks and putting them on the ground.

I was playing a game similar to age of empires. I was not confident in my skills. I watched someone play and they built just one hero and teched up while attacking with the hero and doing some damage. I asked how I could get that hero and found out I needed to purchase that civilization.

I was at work. The IT guy started checking the computer I was using saying the webcam was keeping track of what was going on on the computer and it wasn’t company approved. He ran a scan on the computer and found some personal files of mine. I was afraid he would find something pornographic or something but he didn’t.

I was at a car about to go to the airport and had some scissors in my bag. I was contemplating taking them with me through security at the airport. There was a box sitting behind the car. I had forgotten it at the hotel and someone had delivered it there. I then remembered I left it and forgot about it when I went out and met those bears from before.

 

That is basically what I remember. 

Today I started meditating but last night I ate very spicy food so I decided to meditate on the toilet. I decided I would just keep going about my morning routine while meditating repeating the mantra and pausing if I am unable to keep focus on it. I think if I try this all day it will benefit my seated meditation. I could do it while on the toilet and cooking food and doing some cleaning but not when writing this now. I will see what I can do at work. I might do a short seated meditation before work.

Edited November 12, 2024 by Jordan

[Sugarcoat]

1 minute ago, Jordan said:

Yes, for now I will let myself do it if I feel it is getting too uncomfortable. After a while I might put the timer in another room. I did that before and it worked well.

I meditated last night. After 30 minutes I was already struggling and looked at the timer. I stuck with it and did the best I could for the rest of the time. I don't think I had too many takeaways from it. Just practicing.

Same. 

[Jordan]

I only meditated 1 hour yesterday so I will see if I can do 3 hours today to make up the time.

This morning I started with a meditation where I put my focus on my chakras going down my body as I breath in then the spots along the spine that align with the chakras on the way up as I breath out. That got me in a meditative state pretty quickly. I started out 2-3 heartbeats at each section and slowed down to 5-6 over time. Then I went back to mantra meditation. At some points I had clear internal images fairly close to what I see with my eyes but they didn't last long. I had some dreams but didn't bother writing them down. They weren't too vivid.

[Jordan]

I only did 30 minutes last night and 30 minutes this morning so I am behind 2 hours now. I don't think I will have enough time to make it up until Saturday because I want to spend time with my girlfriend. I seem to need a lot of sleep to keep up my energy for meditating. If I have enough energy to do extra I will. I was feeling really tired this morning when meditating so I took a nap instead of doing the last 30 minutes.

[Jordan]

I did 30 minutes last night and 30 minutes this morning so I am behind 3 hours. Last night I felt bored out of my mind during meditation but this morning I was feeling good like I could keep going for a long time but it was time to get ready for work. This morning I didn't do much mantra meditation. I contemplated what truth was and why I thought my head existed separate from the sensations I have of it now. I felt into my physical sensations and emotions a lot. On Saturday I will see if I can catch up on the time I lost during the week. Hopefully it can be like the meditation I had this morning and I can just sit in bliss for 5-6 hours

[Jordan]

Finally it is Saturday. I slept in an extra 2 hours from normal. I am 3 hours behind so if I do 5 hours today I will be caught up.

I just did an hour this morning. I was feeling really good by then end. I did the focusing on the chakras technique followed by contemplating the difference between content and structure then becoming one with my experience. It felt like I was making love with experience. I feel good right now like my body is having a constant mini orgasm.

I play videogames with my uncle and brother Saturday morning so after that I will cook and eat some food then meditate some more.

[Jordan]

I did 4 hours yesterday 2 hours sitting then my back was sore so I did 2 hours lying down. I might do walking meditation instead of sitting meditation because it will benefit my body more. 1 walked for 1.5 hours this morning focusing on my senses and my thoughts. I made sure to think of things in the about the present moment and not bother with future or past. it felt pretty good. I might go for another 1.5 hour walk so I am all caught up with 2 hours per day average.

[Jordan]

I missed a couple days of meditation. I have been spending a lot of time with my girlfriend and value getting enough sleep a lot. Walking meditation doesn't seem the best

I am considering doing more shorter meditation sits instead of hour long ones so I don't get back pain from it. Maybe 10 minutes of moving slowly through the chakras with a slow breath around 1x every hour or 2 would be better than 2x 1 hour sits per day. Then I can really put all my effort into it for the whole time and usually I don't have trouble entering a meditative state in around 10 minutes so I should be able to learn to do it much faster if I practice it that much.

A possible schedule:

5am sit

6am sit

9am sit

10am sit

11am sit

12pm sit

2:45pm sit

4:30 sit

5:30 sit

6:30 sit

7:30 sit

8:30 sit

I am not sure the best place for a 10 minute meditations at work. Maybe I can sit at one of the workbenches that faces to the the wall and pretend I am looking at my computer. I will try doing some today and see how it goes.

[Jordan]

I only did 2x 10 minute sits since I really find it hard to stop and take 10 minutes away from what I am doing. today I will try my best to do a few more times and work my way up to once every 1-3 waking hours over the next week and see how it goes.

[Jordan]

I missed a few days. I will see if I can start up again and see how many days I can get in a row 1 hour 2x per day starting tomorrow, 2024-11-26. I set my alarms for 4:20am and 7:20pm repeating every day so I can get ready to meditate by around 4:30am and 7:30pm.

[Jordan]

I have been meditating around 40 minutes before bed and not anything in the morning the last 2 days. I have been tired. I slept 9 hours last night and am feeling good now. I have been remembering my dreams. 2 nights ago I dreamt that I met a rock climbing youtuber Magnus and we made a video about shooting BBs at each other wearing safety glasses then I met a SC2 youtuber uThermal and for some reason I thought he know Magnus and I mentioned that I met him also. Last night I was playing a videogame in my dream. I remember picking a hero and breaking boxes to get items and weapons to start with in the game. I might need to go to bed even earlier if I am sleeping 9 hours and still want to meditate in the morning.