Why do men have a problem rebuilding their lives after a break up ?

[Oeaohoo]

4 hours ago, Raze said:

You clearly haven’t tried rejecting attractive women 

I mean egotistical in a more complex way. With women it is generally just narcissism and entitlement.

[Schizophonia]

Nonsense.

[TheSomeBody]

guys has way less friends usually which means less social support especially if they are in relationship they might even have less.

also i think for a guy getting a relationship is a struggle and they need to put lots of effort to get one so after all those effort it is gone, girls just hang out and have fun , they dont do much to get guys . also i feel like guys are active and girls are passive so girls are kinda used to things kind happen for them and guys dont have this kind of passivity   

[Letho]

@Lyubov its purely identity related. The egos role is to construct an identity for you that benefits your nervous system and in primitive ways it punishes/rewards you when things go wrong/right. It requires your fluid reasoning capacities to help it do its job, which is why so many people end up in problems. Combined with nervous system sensitivity (a more appropriate term than emotional sensitivity and more encompassing), it takes years of mastery to get good here when people neither have the time nor the instruction manual to go about it. Therapists are good for people as even if they're only semi good it engages our most primitive centres when we experience the empathy of another and combined with genuine trust, this is where social healing is more effective than individuated healing given you don't need to be a rocket scientist to experience its evolutionary benefits. Make good friends regardless. We all need them, they're one more appreciated perspective to ascend us and our contribution to the next level.

[Jwayne]

On 11/9/2024 at 8:21 PM, Lyubov said:

Why do men specifically struggle most after a relationship has ended?

The men I know radically improve their lives following a breakup. The trauma of having your naive innocence shattered hits all the right notes for a total life reform.

[gambler]

On 11/9/2024 at 11:36 PM, Hojo said:

They are told not to cry.

Crying is a release when you release you forget and heal.

They are all carrying the baggage from childhood still and it just piles up as perceived hatred towards life.

I lost the ability to cry. Like I can tear up, sure, but I can’t fully cry. It really sucks. I just want to have a good cry, it’s long overdue, but something is not letting me. I feel as if the reason I’m unable to do so is because of some sort of shame that unless life has made me hit rock bottom, and the ocean is deep—if you thought you hit bottom the reality is you can go much lower, I should always be grateful instead. That crying and feeling sad in regards to me is a weak and self-sabotaging thing to do. And then I feel like maybe I’m not allowed to cry because I might secretly feel like I don’t deserve it. I really don’t know.

[Hojo]

@gambler Crying is just trying to release memories you do not want. You stopping the body from crying cause you feel you don't deserve it is hurting the body not you and the crying has nothing to do with you. The body needs to do it or you hang onto karma, memories. When you feel yourself tearing up just push it to full throttle. Go watch sad videos, watch a romance movie.

Remember you arent the one crying the body is crying its a feature of the human body. When you cry if you are concious you can see you arent the one crying you are actually happy and the body is doing its thing. If you see this you are now crying tears of gratitude.

Your mom dies you cry its completely selfless crying you are watching the cryer and you are happy. The tears are now not of sadness and selfishness cause of loss but gratitude towards God.

If you sit at home and do nothing but focus on your thoughts  and talk to yourself you will automatically start crying and not be able to stop it, you can try that. If you havent cried in a long long time once you start a little you will probably open up like a waterfall and you will say I wish I had been letting my body do this my entire life.

Edited December 13 by Hojo

[Recursoinominado]

Because women are always bathed with validation, men are approaching them all the time, from a simple like in a photo to in-person direct approach. When the relationship ends, this will only increase, they don't have to do anything to meet new men FAST.

For most men, the opposite is true, they have no validation since men are usually on the active role in flirting, so, theoretically, during the relationship, men don't have many "prospects" in line. If you have some integrity, you will have to start from scratch as a man. Also, flirting doesn't come naturally for most men, you have to have a little momentum with it. Also, if the men let himself go during the relationship (very common), he will have to lose some weight, workout etc. Very hard to bounce back, some men never do. 

[M A J I]

Men who are not in touch with their feminine side, which is most men today, usually struggle to feel, release and heal from their wounds, and tend to resort to drugs, alcohol, junk or dense foods, stimulation, distractions ect... to further numb and suppress their pain and emotions, which overtime can develop as solid/physical wounds that can take years to heal from. Being in a supportive and loving environment can help greatly.

Woman are naturally more in touch with their emotions and although they to can numb and suppress themselves too, they are naturally able to feel and release more easily and cry and cry it out until what is felt is felt fully and cleansed by the purifying waters of spirit.

Mushrooms are also very supportive here for emotional release and healing.