Why do men have a problem rebuilding their lives after a break up ?

[Lyubov]

I went through one two weeks ago around and it’s definitely outside my comfort zone. I would say I even seen many men who seem to struggle for ages to rebuild their lives after a break up ? Why do men specifically struggle most after a relationship has ended? I think it’s because men don’t have as good of social skills as women, most women have a ton of men waiting for them to get single and lastly men are very loyal. 

[Buck Edwards]

It's not about gender. It took me two years to get over a breakup. 

[Hojo]

They are told not to cry.

Crying is a release when you release you forget and heal.

They are all carrying the baggage from childhood still and it just piles up as perceived hatred towards life.

Edited November 10 by Hojo

[Princess Arabia]

4 hours ago, Lyubov said:

I think it’s because men don’t have as good of social skills as women, most women have a ton of men waiting for them to get single and lastly men are very loyal. 

This is why; your belief system. I've never seen such baloney told about women and break-ups. The part about men having a harder time might be true but the reason you gave about men waiting for them to get single is just not the case. It doesn't even make a lot of sense if you really think about it. You're also underestimating a female's ability to choose her men wisely. Even if there are a lot of single men, what makes you think she's willing to jump and just date any ole male. I'm tired of explaining how women are also having a hard time finding relationships; but guys keep insisting that we have it easy just because men are always hitting on women, So, that doesn't mean anything here. We're not looking at tits and ass like men are, we have to literally feel something first and that doesn't just come by looking. 

Also saying men are very loyal, is like speaking Chinese to my ear. You might be, but that's not usually a trait that most men have. If that was the case, so many women wouldn't be able to make a living in the adult industry. Every time I turn around there's another man willing to or is talking about cheating on his gf, even on this forum and I can make plenty of references and quotes from within threads if you'd like; might take some time and energy but they're there. 

Edited November 10 by Princess Arabia

[NoSelfSelf]

Because you put responsibility of your emotional,mental state to a woman.You have no inner leadership.

Even when you were in a relationship she had the power to make you happy or sad at will...

[Raze]

https://www.girlschase.com/article/relationship-101/breaking-girl-what-youll-experience-and-how-manage

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=29OGEGj2X-c

 

[AION]

Men and women love differently. It is a deep topic.

Edited November 10 by AION

[Basman]

Typically its the women who initiate a break up. They have already been thinking of it, checking out of the relationship, and when they do break up it is when they are finally emotionally ready for it. The dumper has a head start. They also tend to have friends and potential lovers waiting for them so its much easier for them to transition whereas guys get less emotional support.

[Lyubov]

On 11/10/2024 at 1:01 AM, Buck Edwards said:

It's not about gender. It took me two years to get over a breakup. 

Could be, I’m just drawing comparisons here for conversation sake, maybe there’s something to learn here. Just seems form my POV men struggle in specific situations when it comes to moving on and rebuilding their lives and I wonder why that is. I don’t doubt there’s things I’m not seeing on the side of women. 

 

On 11/10/2024 at 3:53 AM, Princess Arabia said:

This is why; your belief system. I've never seen such baloney told about women and break-ups. The part about men having a harder time might be true but the reason you gave about men waiting for them to get single is just not the case. It doesn't even make a lot of sense if you really think about it. You're also underestimating a female's ability to choose her men wisely. Even if there are a lot of single men, what makes you think she's willing to jump and just date any ole male. I'm tired of explaining how women are also having a hard time finding relationships; but guys keep insisting that we have it easy just because men are always hitting on women, So, that doesn't mean anything here. We're not looking at tits and ass like men are, we have to literally feel something first and that doesn't just come by looking. 

Also saying men are very loyal, is like speaking Chinese to my ear. You might be, but that's not usually a trait that most men have. If that was the case, so many women wouldn't be able to make a living in the adult industry. Every time I turn around there's another man willing to or is talking about cheating on his gf, even on this forum and I can make plenty of references and quotes from within threads if you'd like; might take some time and energy but they're there. 

I completely agree that it boils down to belief system. I wonder why so many men have self sabotaging beliefs when it comes to dating. 

I’m only speaking from experience here. When my ex and I broke up I could see there were a lot of men in our larger social circle who were interested in having sex with her and flirting because she is a beautiful young social woman. Now does that mean these men will lead to commitment or being what she wants in a partner? Perhaps not. So maybe I’m seeing something she doesn’t value or care about. 

Like you said you make a good point. Just because women are getting all this attention , like they have a pick from the buffet doesn’t mean they will find what they want or will enjoy. I do think having all these options though does help a lot of women see more opportunities in life. I think men will be very social isolated and not see as many opportunities due to their limiting beliefs so they will choose to become very socially isolated and that’s very damaging. Women seem much better at social support circles and relating to other people. I can speak from experience I have to push myself a bit to really stay social and keep that area of my life healthy while I know a lot of women that is effortless for them. Not saying I’m a victim or anything just it’s interesting these differences. 

[Lyubov]

On 11/10/2024 at 3:53 AM, Princess Arabia said:

This is why; your belief system. I've never seen such baloney told about women and break-ups. The part about men having a harder time might be true but the reason you gave about men waiting for them to get single is just not the case. It doesn't even make a lot of sense if you really think about it. You're also underestimating a female's ability to choose her men wisely. Even if there are a lot of single men, what makes you think she's willing to jump and just date any ole male. I'm tired of explaining how women are also having a hard time finding relationships; but guys keep insisting that we have it easy just because men are always hitting on women, So, that doesn't mean anything here. We're not looking at tits and ass like men are, we have to literally feel something first and that doesn't just come by looking. 

Also saying men are very loyal, is like speaking Chinese to my ear. You might be, but that's not usually a trait that most men have. If that was the case, so many women wouldn't be able to make a living in the adult industry. Every time I turn around there's another man willing to or is talking about cheating on his gf, even on this forum and I can make plenty of references and quotes from within threads if you'd like; might take some time and energy but they're there. 

I know this is a very controversial take but what men are talking about when they talk about cheating is just having some sexual fun with another woman. Most men will never cheat of the heart, only of the body. I don’t know if women in general are open minded enough to understand it but instinctually they are when sexually with a leading man because it’s not uncommon for them to share a girlfriend with their man but it’s not common for a man to share the woman he’s in a relationship with another man. We don’t mean leaving a woman type cheating. We mean enjoying our freedom and having just sex with other women. Men are extremely loyal when it comes to their heart and will even do crazy stuff even for their ex girlfriend or wife who they may be in love with years later. It’s pretty taboo for a man to flat out leave his wife for a younger woman. I think that’s terrible. But psychologically I understand why men want to have fun on the side with another woman, but still be in a relationship and be with their main woman who they want to build a family and future with. Basically love only one woman but have fun with many. 

Edited November 11 by Lyubov

[Princess Arabia]

2 hours ago, Lyubov said:

Could be, I’m just drawing comparisons here for conversation sake, maybe there’s something to learn here. Just seems form my POV men struggle in specific situations when it comes to moving on and rebuilding their lives and I wonder why that is. I don’t doubt there’s things I’m not seeing on the side of women. 

 

I completely agree that it boils down to belief system. I wonder why so many men have self sabotaging beliefs when it comes to dating. 

I’m only speaking from experience here. When my ex and I broke up I could see there were a lot of men in our larger social circle who were interested in having sex with her and flirting because she is a beautiful young social woman. Now does that mean these men will lead to commitment or being what she wants in a partner? Perhaps not. So maybe I’m seeing something she doesn’t value or care about. 

Like you said you make a good point. Just because women are getting all this attention , like they have a pick from the buffet doesn’t mean they will find what they want or will enjoy. I do think having all these options though does help a lot of women see more opportunities in life. I think men will be very social isolated and not see as many opportunities due to their limiting beliefs so they will choose to become very socially isolated and that’s very damaging. Women seem much better at social support circles and relating to other people. I can speak from experience I have to push myself a bit to really stay social and keep that area of my life healthy while I know a lot of women that is effortless for them. Not saying I’m a victim or anything just it’s interesting these differences. 

Ok, I understand. You even said it yourself, all those men can't wait to or would like to sleep with her because she's a beautiful woman. That's pretty much all it takes for a man to want to sleep with you especially if she's his type. Type or not, beautiful women can get easy lays. Most women aren't really just into easy lays so that's why it can be a bit challenging to find a compatible relationship. Most guys think it's easy for us because they're only looking at the sex part because that's where most of their interest in women lies, but it's challenging for us to find a guy that has the qualities that make for a relationship worth having and to settle down for especially for a woman that values that.

I don't think you'll have too much of a problem finding you a decent partner, though, based off of what I've seen here. You seem to be fairly grounded and not just looking to lay with any woman in sight, even if she's pretty or is throwing herself at you. Just my observation and educated guess about you and you're also probably loyal based on your assumption that men are loyal. You didn't just think that because most men are, it's because you are, imo. 

[Jannes]

There are many facets to it. Most notably I think is that women are just more in touch with their emotional side.

[ThermalTide]

Could be because typically women take on a nurturing role in a long term relationship and when men feel that is absent they're not sure how to emotionally process because they themselves are not the most nurturing. I think women have just as hard of a time as men with breakups though, its not really a gender based thing

[Schizophonia]

The initial premise is false.

[Lyubov]

20 hours ago, Princess Arabia said:

Ok, I understand. You even said it yourself, all those men can't wait to or would like to sleep with her because she's a beautiful woman. That's pretty much all it takes for a man to want to sleep with you especially if she's his type. Type or not, beautiful women can get easy lays. Most women aren't really just into easy lays so that's why it can be a bit challenging to find a compatible relationship. Most guys think it's easy for us because they're only looking at the sex part because that's where most of their interest in women lies, but it's challenging for us to find a guy that has the qualities that make for a relationship worth having and to settle down for especially for a woman that values that.

I don't think you'll have too much of a problem finding you a decent partner, though, based off of what I've seen here. You seem to be fairly grounded and not just looking to lay with any woman in sight, even if she's pretty or is throwing herself at you. Just my observation and educated guess about you and you're also probably loyal based on your assumption that men are loyal. You didn't just think that because most men are, it's because you are, imo. 

Thanks for the supportive words. That is true, I would prefer not to jump back into a relationship. I think it's good to take a little time just to make new friends and socialize and whatnot. I am not against dating again and I think it's good to allow for a natural flow so I may be ready sooner than I realize but I think it's important to learn these life lessons from the last relationship. 

I think the way forward to meet new women would be to be friendly when I go to the beach and just have no expectations, just focus on socializing and it will come to me like my last relationship did. 

[Princess Arabia]

12 minutes ago, Lyubov said:

Thanks for the supportive words. That is true, I would prefer not to jump back into a relationship. I think it's good to take a little time just to make new friends and socialize and whatnot. I am not against dating again and I think it's good to allow for a natural flow so I may be ready sooner than I realize but I think it's important to learn these life lessons from the last relationship. 

I think the way forward to meet new women would be to be friendly when I go to the beach and just have no expectations, just focus on socializing and it will come to me like my last relationship did. 

❤️

[Rishabh R]

I had a breakup from a formative relationship and it's been 5 years since that. It caused me social anxiety and since , 2019 I am on antidepressants, antipsychotics till the present and when I entered my college I didn't got a single girlfriend rather I was constantly getting heartbroken seeing the girls whom I liked entering into relationships with other men. I am also jealous of other peoples relationships. What I have learnt that it all depends on you , the reframing of the negative situations is very important.

[museumoftrees]

I think it's because men are usually less equipped to feel their emotions. The less you feel the sadness of the break up the more time it'll take you to heal.

[Oeaohoo]

Men tend to be more egotistical. It is more of an assault on a man’s ego when his relationship goes wrong — go and watch Eyes Wide Shut for an illustration of this… Women are more loving so they can heal more quickly.

Also, men tend to have higher priorities in life. We can go on neglecting more basic, primal and emotional concerns for a long time. It all catches up to you eventually though…

[Raze]

 

45 minutes ago, Oeaohoo said:

Men tend to be more egotistical. It is more of an assault on a man’s ego when his relationship goes wrong — go and watch Eyes Wide Shut for an illustration of this… Women are more loving so they can heal more quickly.

 

You clearly haven’t tried rejecting attractive women