Leo and people of actualized.org what can be considered success with women.

[Rishabh R]

Is approaching women, talking to women already a success or is getting women and not getting rejected success ?

[NoSelfSelf]

Sucess has to do with following yourself.Its never about getting a woman,if she is earning you then you are succeding because its not about her.

If the answer is you then you are always succeding.

[Rishabh R]

@NoSelfSelf so success is your Actions ? and the outcome is not important ? Thats what you meant.

Edited November 7 by Rishabh R

[Optimal_Prime]

@Rishabh R i think what @NoSelfSelf is trying to say is two-fold.

One, he said that it's all about following yourself, and never getting a woman, meaning.... basically that success can't be defined by a specific number of women you sleep with, or specific external outcomes like how long it takes you to get a date, how long it takes you to sleep with a girl, how many girls per week/month/year/life you sleep with, or how you make women feel. 

The reason that's not a good metric to measure success is because any man can sacrifice his identity, his morals and values, his politics, his religion, his worldview, and his sense of peace and happiness, just to "get girls" aka meet those metrics of success. 

ie, if i tell you that having success with women means sleeping with one new girl every month, then, you can easily "meet" that need in a way that makes you unhappy, or sacrifices your value. You can sleep with ugly women just to have OTHER people (aka me) deem you successful with women. You could spend all day at the club, sacrificing the rest of your leisure time, just to meet that number, and you might not even like the club.

So, by "following yourself" he means living in line with your true values, never sacrificing any of your values or preferences just to get female validation that you craved. 

I agree with that 100%, and we can absolutely incorporate that into a formula of "what does success with women mean." 

Success with women means having sexual/social interactions with women in a way that you enjoy, without compromising your values, integrity, happiness, etc. 

Then he said that "if she is earning you, you're succeeding" aka, you shouldn't chase women, she should chase you, which is a reference to being high status, being approached, 

I don't agree with that. Not as a hard and fast rule. That can be a preference, sure, but while some men want to be chased, some men want to do the chasing, and that's just personal preference. Some men would prefer to be the man in the room who turns heads when he walks into the room, and other men might prefer to be the man in the room who seems fairly normal on the surface, but his ideal seduction-style would be being able to get any specific girl he wants with a high degree of accuracy - not ALL girls, but ANY girl. Maybe he's picky, and wants the girls he wants, and doesn't want a random girl to chase him, but he only wants to invest time into his dream girl - and once he locates her he'll let her know (in a sductive way) that she is his top choice, and is willing to chase for a bit, but will always win her over in the end. 

But what I would say is that you can loop seduction style preferences (chasing vs being chased) back into the first point. Success with women means having the interactions YOU want to have, in a way where you don't compromise anything you're not willing to compromise on. 

Last point, to your comment on whether the success is JUST doing the approach vs going all the way to finish line with a girl... 

First of all, if you're doing cold approach, or even social circle game, you will ALWAYS experience some rejection, so, NOBODY should ever set a goal of "not getting rejected." That's unrealistic. 

At the same time, if you're always getting rejected, that's obviously not SUCCESS WITH WOMEN either. However, that could be PERSONAL success... if you were afraid of talking to girls at all last year, and now you're 5-10x more comfortable approaching, that's a huge PERSONAL win. It doesn't mean success with women YET, but it's a step in that direction, and more importantly, it's setting a goal and accomplishing it, which is the only way to get anything you want in life and weren't born with. 

Neither "just talking to girls" nor "not getting rejected" means that you're successful with women. Especially because you could easily only talk to girls or try to sleep with girls who you don't find AMAZING (aka, you could compromise on your standards). 

Ultimately, the way I define success with women for myself is simple. I evaluate my CURRENT relationships with women (as a whole, not just sexually, but also in reference to female friends) and ask myself one question: AM I HAPPY? 

I might be a normal guy. Not a pick up artist. Not able to walk up to girls and do same day lays. Not able to get ANY girl I want. But if I'm currently in a state where I'm sexually satisfied on a physical level (having sex at a frequency/quality I like) and on an emotional level (having sex with people I like as people), then I'd consider myself to be experiencing success with women AT THAT PRESENT MOMENT. And am I experiencing success with women in a way where I'm not compromising success in other areas of my life? Ultimately, success with women is NOT as important to me as success in other areas of my life, so I can only experience success with women if/when other areas of my life are also feeling like they're ideal (or at least, progressing towards ideal) and I'm inviting women to join me in living that ideal life. 

That's what matters to me. 

 

 

 

[Hojo]

You succeed when you accidentally fall in love looking for pussy. You are looking to give someone something you don't want. You want to be obsessed with something other than your penis. Cause being obsessed with your penis is lonely.

Edited November 7 by Hojo

[Raze]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Yfdf-0twxU

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9EFAD_H3phY

https://www.girlschase.com/content/student-game-how-succeed-women

[Princess Arabia]

How you have a published book about how to live the best life and pact with all sorts of details on how to maneuver challenges and whatever else your book is about but don't know what success with women entails. Even asking for the attention of the whole forum. You would think knowing what you know to be able to write a book of that magnitude, something as knowing what success with women is, would also be known because success all boils down to one thing- success. Can't live the best life without knowing how to become successful in what you do in all categories. 

[LordFall]

Success with women would just by definition mean that you have accomplished your goal in the dating department. If you're consistently approaching women but your goal is to get a relationship and you don't have one then that's not a success.

If you have a good relationship or are in abundance with your ability to get dates/sex with women you are attracted to consistently then I would consider that pretty successful. 

[Rishabh R]

6 hours ago, Princess Arabia said:

How you have a published book about how to live the best life and pact with all sorts of details on how to maneuver challenges and whatever else your book is about but don't know what success with women entails. Even asking for the attention of the whole forum. You would think knowing what you know to be able to write a book of that magnitude, something as knowing what success with women is, would also be known because success all boils down to one thing- success. Can't live the best life without knowing how to become successful in what you do in all categories. 

Why you are so rude in your responses. It anger's me.

[Princess Arabia]

44 minutes ago, Rishabh R said:

Why you are so rude in your responses. It anger's me.

What's so rude in my comment. That's not what being rude is. I'm very rarely rude on here. Even when i'm being insulted , I don't get rude. Why would you get angry. Is that how you live your best life and handle your emotions. Isn't that what your book is trying to teach others how to do. I simply don't understand how you can write a book teaching people stuff that you aren't doing yourself. If you can show me a comment that I made that you consider to be rude, I'll acknowledge it and apologize for my rudeness. The last thing that I want to be is rude, but only if it's being really rude and not just me speaking in a direct tone and without any insults. Please learn to decipher rude from direct or to the point.

I just checked your book overview. It says knowing how to handle negative emotions constructively. Enough said. 

Edited November 8 by Princess Arabia

[NoSelfSelf]

8 hours ago, Hojo said:

You succeed when you accidentally fall in love looking for pussy. You are looking to give someone something you don't want. You want to be obsessed with something other than your penis. Cause being obsessed with your penis is lonely.

This makes zero sense

[Rishabh R]

@Princess Arabia Your comment felt a little bad but later it didn't affect me.

[Princess Arabia]

4 hours ago, Rishabh R said:

@Princess Arabia Your comment felt a little bad but later it didn't affect me.

That's because emotions are forever changing. They come and they go. They arise from the stillness of peace and calm. That peace and calmness is you. You were unaffected then too, you just identified with the passing sensation that is forever stirred up by the pebbles. My statement was the pebble and you took it personal and thought it was thrown at you. The waters got still again and your true nature shun through. Until you identify with another pebble thrown. Then you'll get stirred again. And again, and again. Welcome to the journey of life. Abide in that stillness and that's how you master emotions. Much love.

[CoolDreamThanks]

Success is bagging a dime every time

[meta_male]

Facing your fears is a success. Getting women isn't.

[Rishabh R]

@Princess Arabia  Same to you. Thanks.

[Tenebroso]

I want to sleep with hundreds of women and be a player. That would be success to me.

[Princess Arabia]

17 hours ago, Tenebroso said:

I want to sleep with hundreds of women and be a player. That would be success to me.

Says the student when the teacher asks "What will you like to be when you grow up". It sounded like an occupation.

[Tenebroso]

17 hours ago, Princess Arabia said:

Says the student when the teacher asks "What will you like to be when you grow up". It sounded like an occupation.

Well I was thinking about that politician who's sex tapes with 400 women leaked all over social media. In one clip it's him and 4 other women. I can't fathom the confidence that comes from experiencing that level of abundance. 

[Princess Arabia]

8 minutes ago, Tenebroso said:

Well I was thinking about that politician who's sex tapes with 400 women leaked all over social media. In one clip it's him and 4 other women. I can't fathom the confidence that comes from experiencing that level of abundance. 

You can only put your penis into one vagina at a time. Can only have one orgasm at a time and feel one emotion at a time. Where is the level of abundance in sleeping with 400 women. That's not confidence that's the lack of it. True abundance doesn't come in numbers. It's a mindset. Only someone with a lack mindset sees the need to sleep with multiple women at a time. (Not a judgement, not saying it's wrong or right) merely showing you what true abundance is. 

It's because he feels a sense of lack that drives this energy to desire these things. When it's done, he will feel even more lacking, trust me. It's only appealing to you because it satisfies your feelings of lack. Someone who feels abundant with women doesn't have these cravings because they are confident enough to know they can get one at any time.

Edited November 10 by Princess Arabia