Be careful with deep spiritual inquiries

[Razard86]

God exists, the Devil exists, what is the Devil? God experiencing itself as evil. If you have ever wondered about the nature of evil I would suggest you take another route. Here is a tale of a man that learned first-hand never to ask for this lesson....

I recently went so far in Spirituality I lost my mind. The investigation into Consciousness and Awareness and what exactly was going on gave way into a deep dive into uncontrollable hallucinations, and consistent nightmares. I went without sleep for weeks and eventually this led to loss of personal possessions, and a trip to a psyche ward for some anti-psychotics. I have the ability to maintain a heightened/altered states for weeks without any effort and this was
caused by a small dose of CBD edibles. I believe I'm done taking any kind of substance that can take me away from baseline consciousness as my last foray
has proven dangerously detrimental to my survival. I did get to commune with God but that communion was not one that was done with proper foresight.

I asked to gain an experiential understanding into the nature of evil, and I was given a front row seat into that experience. I had every word I ever wrote, every thought, used against me in a metaphysical courtroom against me to treat me like a criminal. I was debased, tortured and verbally and physically assaulted till I lost it.
I was pushed to my brink and realized only a fool would ever want to know evil. I have said before that the desire to commit suicide is the greatest evil you can know personally and I was given the opportunity to experience that desire in the fullness of its glory and as a result I am much more appreciative of others and their mental fragility since I was forced to face my own. I am sharing this as a warning, don't ask to know evil unless you are ready to receive the greatest unwelcome party imaginable. Nothing like a little mistaken identity taken to its extreme.

In short I was shown that God both controls, and doesn't control everything, and that my human vessel's only power in relation to all that is, is the ability to react but even that ability to react, to respond, can be easily taken away by a mind constantly being bombarded by wayward thoughts. We take our mental and physical health for granted. I learned also through experience, why we are always innocent before God. All our good works are for naught, all the evil we have experienced is also for naught. I learned that God takes all sides/perspectives of relationships, and that God does not know what a lie is outside of our perspective. 

T:L:D:R  Spirituality is dangerous once you start entering altered states, so be wary be cautious with your inquisitions.

 

[PurpleTree]

lool from CBD?

I also had paranoia for days once and ended up taking an antipsychotic for a few days, but from shrooms. Thought i’m the new coming of christ and they’ll drag me to Jerusalem to torture and kill me there. Alot of other stuff too it was much more complex obviously there were evil people, secret service, ww3 etc.

Anyhow what are your thoughts on free will?

Edited November 7 by PurpleTree

[Sugarcoat]

Can cbd be used for spiritual purpose? I have some at home and can’t take psychedelics 

[Razard86]

4 hours ago, PurpleTree said:

lool from CBD?

I also had paranoia for days once and ended up taking an antipsychotic for a few days, but from shrooms. Thought i’m the new coming of christ and they’ll drag me to Jerusalem to torture and kill me there. Alot of other stuff too it was much more complex obviously there were evil people, secret service, ww3 etc.

Anyhow what are your thoughts on free will?

The human vessel has limited freedom, its ability to act and think was created and given to it without its knowledge. Sadhguru has a nice phrase I'll borrrow, all of us are POP UPS. We just appeared, and started living life. 

Things you do not control. 1. Your race, your parents, the time period you were born in, your natural talents, the country you were born in, what health ailments you are given, if you really pay attention you don't really control anything. You aren't doing anything, you are being done is more accurate. This is why we say its a game of identity, and its a game that deals with the highest and the lowest, and it is dealing with distinctions/dualities/identities you construct to understand which is what we call relationships. If you understand that you are everything, then the paradoxical explanation is that there are two YOUS.

The first YOU is the smaller you that is your autobiographical story which you call your life. That you is incomplete, mistake prone, and constantly developing and backsliding in different ways. Its limited in memory recall, and always constantly forgetting information. The other YOU is COMPLETE, has perfect memory recall, cannot actually develop because it is EVERYTHING. Because it is everything it is perfectly the opposite of itself in ALL WAYS. It is perfect logic, and perfect illogic. It is perfectly good and perfectly evil. It creates for its own sake, since it has nothing outside of it. As such it can only ever know itself. 

So freedom and the lack of freedom is just a word game. Because the truth is it is perfectly free and bound at the same time. How? Well it is forced to be everything, since that is what it is, but it is free to CHOOSE in the present moment HOW it will express EVERYTHING.  It is both non mechanistic, but also mechanistic. It is perfect duality. It is always more Good than Evil, but this can only be truly understood by the constant shedding of goals/desires. 

T:L:D:R Free will is only one half, bound is the other half. All bounding is temporary, whereas freedom is eternal. Freedom is constant movement/expression, bondage is temporary sameness, what we call the human identity.

[Ishanga]

2 minutes ago, Razard86 said:

The human vessel has limited freedom, its ability to act and think was created and given to it without its knowledge. Sadhguru has a nice phrase I'll borrrow, all of us are POP UPS. We just appeared, and started living life. 

Things you do not control. 1. Your race, your parents, the time period you were born in, your natural talents, the country you were born in, what health ailments you are given, if you really pay attention you don't really control anything. You aren't doing anything, you are being done is more accurate. This is why we say its a game of identity, and its a game that deals with the highest and the lowest, and it is dealing with distinctions/dualities/identities you construct to understand which is what we call relationships. If you understand that you are everything, then the paradoxical explanation is that there are two YOUS.

The first YOU is the smaller you that is your autobiographical story which you call your life. That you is incomplete, mistake prone, and constantly developing and backsliding in different ways. Its limited in memory recall, and always constantly forgetting information. The other YOU is COMPLETE, has perfect memory recall, cannot actually develop because it is EVERYTHING. Because it is everything it is perfectly the opposite of itself in ALL WAYS. It is perfect logic, and perfect illogic. It is perfectly good and perfectly evil. It creates for its own sake, since it has nothing outside of it. As such it can only ever know itself. 

So freedom and the lack of freedom is just a word game. Because the truth is it is perfectly free and bound at the same time. How? Well it is forced to be everything, since that is what it is, but it is free to CHOOSE in the present moment HOW it will express EVERYTHING.  It is both non mechanistic, but also mechanistic. It is perfect duality. It is always more Good than Evil, but this can only be truly understood by the constant shedding of goals/desires. 

T:L:D:R Free will is only one half, bound is the other half. All bounding is temporary, whereas freedom is eternal. Freedom is constant movement/expression, bondage is temporary sameness, what we call the human identity.

Free Will is only in How You Respond and How You Experience, that we can determine for ourselves and is the most critical and Important! The other aspects, Samskaras or the impressions of everything that You've done in the past can reflect on You now situationally, but how You respond to that is up to You.. So yes somethings in our life our bound, somethings are free, choose were to live and that will make all the difference..deny it and see what happens!!

[tuku747]

[Javfly33]

Happy to hear you are back on Track.

Stay safe and Keep Yourself off any substance that Will alter your balance, you seem to me naturally a spiritual predisposed person so I dont think you need to touch those things again

[James123]

On 11/7/2024 at 7:30 AM, Razard86 said:

God exists, the Devil exists, what is the Devil? God experiencing itself as evil. If you have ever wondered about the nature of evil I would suggest you take another route. Here is a tale of a man that learned first-hand never to ask for this lesson....

I recently went so far in Spirituality I lost my mind. The investigation into Consciousness and Awareness and what exactly was going on gave way into a deep dive into uncontrollable hallucinations, and consistent nightmares. I went without sleep for weeks and eventually this led to loss of personal possessions, and a trip to a psyche ward for some anti-psychotics. I have the ability to maintain a heightened/altered states for weeks without any effort and this was
caused by a small dose of CBD edibles. I believe I'm done taking any kind of substance that can take me away from baseline consciousness as my last foray
has proven dangerously detrimental to my survival. I did get to commune with God but that communion was not one that was done with proper foresight.

I asked to gain an experiential understanding into the nature of evil, and I was given a front row seat into that experience. I had every word I ever wrote, every thought, used against me in a metaphysical courtroom against me to treat me like a criminal. I was debased, tortured and verbally and physically assaulted till I lost it.
I was pushed to my brink and realized only a fool would ever want to know evil. I have said before that the desire to commit suicide is the greatest evil you can know personally and I was given the opportunity to experience that desire in the fullness of its glory and as a result I am much more appreciative of others and their mental fragility since I was forced to face my own. I am sharing this as a warning, don't ask to know evil unless you are ready to receive the greatest unwelcome party imaginable. Nothing like a little mistaken identity taken to its extreme.

In short I was shown that God both controls, and doesn't control everything, and that my human vessel's only power in relation to all that is, is the ability to react but even that ability to react, to respond, can be easily taken away by a mind constantly being bombarded by wayward thoughts. We take our mental and physical health for granted. I learned also through experience, why we are always innocent before God. All our good works are for naught, all the evil we have experienced is also for naught. I learned that God takes all sides/perspectives of relationships, and that God does not know what a lie is outside of our perspective. 

T:L:D:R  Spirituality is dangerous once you start entering altered states, so be wary be cautious with your inquisitions.

 

You were stuck. You have to go deeper till meet and be in love.

Edited Friday at 01:41 PM by James123

[shree]

@Razard86

Reading this really hits me hard. I'm truly sorry you had to go through such deep and torturous experiences. It takes immense strength to share something so raw and profound.

Did you have anyone around who had even a slight understanding of what you were going through during that time?

I hope you’re finding some peace now and have been able to ground yourself after such an intense period.

How are you holding up now?

Just know that you're not alone, and many of us are here, willing to listen and understand.

 

[vibv]

On 7.11.2024 at 5:30 AM, Razard86 said:

I have said before that the desire to commit suicide is the greatest evil you can know personally

Thanks for sharing! Do you mean that that desire is the evil or would the act itself be an act of evil?

I love to hear from such deep insights. It's sometimes a way more comfortable way to have them instead of experiencing yourself  

But maybe I'll inquire into the nature of evil someday anyway, we'll see...  God is a fool. And so Am I.

[OBEler]

@Razard86 I was always wondering what happened to you because you went off suddenly from this forum.It seems you really go deep. Thanks for sharing with us.

What happens if you inquire what is nature of good instead of evil?

Edited Friday at 05:25 PM by OBEler

[Javfly33]

17 minutes ago, OBEler said:

@Razard86 I was always wondering what happened to you because you went off suddenly from this forum.It seems you really go deep.

Are we really calling spirituality going deep into insanity ? 

[James123]

3 minutes ago, Javfly33 said:

Are we really calling spirituality going deep into insanity ? 

Of course it is. Who wants burn alive?

[Breakingthewall]

Good to know that you are ok. Evilness is just the attachment to the impermanence. There is not evil outside of your feeling of evilness, and your feeling of evilness happens because you are attached to the impermanent. Of course all of us are, but we can understand that the impermanent is just impermanent f we realize our immutable nature 

Edited Friday at 07:33 PM by Breakingthewall

[enchanted]

5 hours ago, Javfly33 said:

Are we really calling spirituality going deep into insanity ? 

Leo has called it that. Something about how we are conditioned to have a bias toward sanity for the purposes of survival but truth is so radical it's insane or something like that. 

[Razard86]

8 hours ago, shree said:

@Razard86

Reading this really hits me hard. I'm truly sorry you had to go through such deep and torturous experiences. It takes immense strength to share something so raw and profound.

Did you have anyone around who had even a slight understanding of what you were going through during that time?

I hope you’re finding some peace now and have been able to ground yourself after such an intense period.

How are you holding up now?

Just know that you're not alone, and many of us are here, willing to listen and understand.

 

I appreciate your comment. It was rough but the only issue I have with that experience is the financial hit it created. I'm blessed with strong emotional fortitude so I have the ability to go through tough times and bounce back quickly. I mostly posted this because I wanted to make sure people understand that the Absolute is no joke. It knows the heart, and true questions WILL BE ANSWERED. What my experience has always been is if I made a heartfelt inquiry, I ALWAYS eventually get an authentic response.

There is a MATURITY to the ABSOLUTE MIND, it meets you where you are at, but eventually it will hit you with paradox, and dare you to see the truth in the contradiction. It's a tough beauty to appreciate, but it's definitely doable.

[Razard86]

On 11/8/2024 at 11:58 AM, vibv said:

Thanks for sharing! Do you mean that that desire is the evil or would the act itself be an act of evil?

I love to hear from such deep insights. It's sometimes a way more comfortable way to have them instead of experiencing yourself  

But maybe I'll inquire into the nature of evil someday anyway, we'll see...  God is a fool. And so Am I.

I'm not saying the desire to commit suicide is evil. The underlying desire to commit Suicide is Absolutely Good, only a person who truly hates their life would ever want to commit suicide. But since everyone loves themselves, the greatest form of harm you can ever commit is to kill yourself. To kill yourself is the greatest betrayal you can ever commit, and its an act of mercy one would attempt if they view their life as the greatest betrayal. 

A deep experience of Evil, will make suicide logical, and that is not something I would wish upon anyone.

[Breakingthewall]

2 hours ago, Razard86 said:

I'm not saying the desire to commit suicide is evil. The underlying desire to commit Suicide is Absolutely Good, only a person who truly hates their life would ever want to commit suicide. But since everyone loves themselves, the greatest form of harm you can ever commit is to kill yourself. To kill yourself is the greatest betrayal you can ever commit, and its an act of mercy one would attempt if they view their life as the greatest betrayal. 

A deep experience of Evil, will make suicide logical, and that is not something I would wish upon anyone.

@Razard86 maybe you could be so open to your true nature, to what existence is, that for you being tortured, and your family tortured, be sick with cancer and horrible pain, alone eaten by the rats and the insects, could be perceived as the absolute glory of existing 

 

[ThermalTide]

wookish cbd indeed

[Javfly33]

On 8/11/2024 at 6:46 PM, James123 said:

Of course it is. Who wants burn alive?

@James123 I don´t get what you mean

On 8/11/2024 at 11:57 PM, enchanted said:

Leo has called it that. Something about how we are conditioned to have a bias toward sanity for the purposes of survival but truth is so radical it's insane or something like that. 

@enchanted I absolutely do not agree with that. 

In my experience the more I go deep in spirituality the more clarity there is, the less thought, the less distortion.

Spirituality is absolute Balance, Equanimity, stillness, and silence.

When we start thinking tripping is spirituality we have a problem: We assume intense states of consciousness are directly related with spiritual advancement or truth.

This is not the case, but the opposite.

One of the reason we decided in this forum 5-MeO was the preferred psychedelic for enlightment is precisely because it has less mind distortions that rest of the psychedelics. 

Edited Sunday at 01:33 PM by Javfly33