Who decides what behavior is 'socially calibrated'?

[QVx]

4 hours ago, mr_engineer said:

And, who's the authority on 'society's definition' of social-calibration? 

Does anyone have a clear idea as to what it is, or is everyone just making this stuff up?! 

Social calibration is culture. Culture defines what is socially acceptable and what is not. 

Different cultures have different social calibration, therefore different social rules exist depending upon the culture you are immersed in.

In terms of authority, you are. You are the one experiencing social calibration, and thus you have the capacity to conform or not to conform to the social normative of that culture.

The feature, and not the bug, is that social calibration is real in the sense that it exists via interactions with others. You can’t get rid of it, but you can decide if you wish to follow the defined social rules of the culture.

@mr_engineer; I hope that was more useful than other posts. If you want more clarity then just @ me.

[mr_engineer]

@something_else Then how do you objectively decide whether someone is 'socially calibrated' or not? Which social rules do you hold them to, in order to figure this out? 

[mr_engineer]

@Buck Edwards The behaviors that you described are flat out unethical. If you just follow the golden rule (do unto others as you wish for others to do unto you), you won't end up doing these behaviors. With or without 'social calibration'. 

[something_else]

10 minutes ago, mr_engineer said:

@something_else Then how do you objectively decide whether someone is 'socially calibrated' or not? Which social rules do you hold them to, in order to figure this out? 

You can’t objectively decide. You can’t figure it out. The rules are very wish-washy and depend heavily on circumstances. It’s mostly an intuitive sense.

Hence why practice is kind of the only way to calibrate yourself socially. Talking to lots of people and being in lots of different social environments is kind of the only way to calibrate yourself.

Edited November 5 by something_else

[Buck Edwards]

38 minutes ago, mr_engineer said:

@Buck Edwards The behaviors that you described are flat out unethical. If you just follow the golden rule (do unto others as you wish for others to do unto you), you won't end up doing these behaviors. With or without 'social calibration'. 

That's exactly what social calibration is. And if you don't follow social calibration, the extreme end of it usually something unethical. I don't know what sort of socially uncalibrated behavior you're discussing about since you don't offer any so called examples of what you perceive as "socially uncalibrated." 

[gettoefl]

It's reading the room

What level of intensity, cockiness, rizz do I need to bring and what level am I permitted to get away with

I need to calibrate myself between what I can at this moment bring and what at this venue is acceptable

Some environments are low key, others more pressured

Fit in to make out

For woman will be a different answer

Edited November 5 by gettoefl

[Optimal_Prime]

I think the girl decides whether or not she thinks the behavior is socially calibrated, and if she thinks it's socially calibrated, she'll think you're socially attractive. 

meanwhile, only you get to decide what YOUR definition of social calibration is. if you believe that you're acting in a socially calibrated way, and she doesn't, there's two options. Either, A) you have no idea what social calibration is and you're wrong, or B) She's not a fit for your authentic self and you should just say "oh well her loss, not my type, she'll find someone right for her and i'll find someone right for me." 

[Emerald]

On 11/4/2024 at 2:21 PM, mr_engineer said:

There has been some talk about 'you have to go out to know what socially calibrated behavior is'. 

Here's my question - who makes the rules of what we define as 'socially calibrated behavior'? Why do we have to give someone else the right to define that for us? I prefer to make my own rules on this front and I prefer to be the judger of other people's social-calibration, not the other way around. 

The rules for social calibration depends on the context.

And the "Overton window" of social calibration arises organically as an emergent property of the context. 

It isn't something decided consciously by any given person, though individuals can influence this Overton Window.

It's just that (in every social context, from workplaces to countries to nightclubs, etc.) a culture intuitively arises based on a myriad of different factors that are so multifaceted that it would be very difficult to parse out.