Who decides what behavior is 'socially calibrated'?

[Hojo]

When you are a kid you just sit there asking why and calibrate yourself. You ask a question and then people answer what they think and you calibrate yourself, that and people tell you what is going on. And you get disciplined then skirt the barriers to see what you can get away with or stop after you get disciplined.

Government calibrated the old people with videos on How to be an american.

Edited November 5 by Hojo

[Princess Arabia]

When people follow what others say about what is socially correct or not, they are still deciding for themselves who to follow. The content is irrelevant; they are still deciding who to follow. No matter how you try, one can only be their own authority, even when giving up their own authority, They are still choosing indirectly by who and what they choose to follow.

[Ulax]

Well you can't just decide on  your own what is socially calibrated.

Because being socially calibrated is about understanding how to generally have pleasant interactions with other people. There are a certain set of traits and behaviors that exist for that.

You can't just start claiming that displaying traits that generally lead to unpleasant interactions aren't socially uncalibrated. 

[mr_engineer]

25 minutes ago, Ulax said:

Well you can't just decide on  your own what is socially calibrated.

Because being socially calibrated is about understanding how to generally have pleasant interactions with other people. There are a certain set of traits and behaviors that exist for that.

You can't just start claiming that displaying traits that generally lead to unpleasant interactions aren't socially uncalibrated. 

Okay, so then who decides it? 

If there is an unpleasant interaction, who decides whose fault that is? And, who decides who's the socially uncalibrated one in that interaction? 

[Jacob Morres]

good point. i think they're just essentially made up rules but with the intent to keep society functioning. almost similar to the law. 

 

[Ulax]

1 hour ago, mr_engineer said:

Okay, so then who decides it? 

If there is an unpleasant interaction, who decides whose fault that is? And, who decides who's the socially uncalibrated one in that interaction? 

Neither of you decide, you try to work it out.

Its not an act of inventing your own standard of what is socially calibrated. Its a process of working out what is socially uncalibrated.

It should be treated like a scientific study imo.

[mr_engineer]

3 minutes ago, Ulax said:

Neither of you decide, you try to work it out.

Its not an act of inventing your own standard of what is socially calibrated. Its a process of working out what is socially uncalibrated.

It should be treated like a scientific study imo.

If someone is judging you for being socially uncalibrated, you have an incentive to 'work it out'. The incentive is 'fitting in'. 

However, if you're the one who's judging other people's level of social-calibration, what incentive do you have to 'work it out'?! You can just tell those who are 'uncalibrated' - these are my rules for you, so adapt or suffer. Right?! 

[Ulax]

1 minute ago, mr_engineer said:

If someone is judging you for being socially uncalibrated, you have an incentive to 'work it out'. The incentive is 'fitting in'. 

However, if you're the one who's judging other people's level of social-calibration, what incentive do you have to 'work it out'?! You can just tell those who are 'uncalibrated' - these are my rules for you, so adapt or suffer. Right?! 

Yeah tbf there are many socially uncalibrated people calling out others for being socially uncalibrated imo.

A clear one is when someone calls someone else boring. I think not uncommonly the accusing person is also playing a key part in the interaction not being fun.

[something_else]

If you’re willing to face the consequences, you can behave however you like.

No one is forcing you to be socially calibrated but if you are, it will make lots of things in your life much easier.

[mr_engineer]

15 minutes ago, something_else said:

If you’re willing to face the consequences, you can behave however you like.

No one is forcing you to be socially calibrated but if you are, it will make lots of things in your life much easier.

This doesn't answer the question, though. 

[Buck Edwards]

If you are going to act socially uncalibrated you might also have to face the consequences of it. 

[mr_engineer]

3 minutes ago, Buck Edwards said:

If you are going to act socially uncalibrated you might also have to face the consequences of it. 

'Socially uncalibrated' by whose definition? 

[Buck Edwards]

1 minute ago, mr_engineer said:

'Socially uncalibrated' by whose definition? 

By society's definition. You're living in a society not in a jungle. 

[mr_engineer]

7 minutes ago, Buck Edwards said:

By society's definition. You're living in a society not in a jungle. 

And, who's the authority on 'society's definition' of social-calibration? 

Does anyone have a clear idea as to what it is, or is everyone just making this stuff up?! 

Edited November 5 by mr_engineer

[Buck Edwards]

5 minutes ago, mr_engineer said:

And, who's the authority on 'society's definition' of social-calibration? 

Does anyone have a clear idea as to what it is, or is everyone just making this stuff up?! 

Society is the authority if you didn't get it. 

[mr_engineer]

1 minute ago, Buck Edwards said:

Society is the authority if you didn't get it. 

Who is this 'society'? Which country is this person named 'society' from? Which government does this person work in? 

[Buck Edwards]

Just now, mr_engineer said:

Who is this 'society'? Which country is this person named 'society' from? Which government does this person work in? 

Its the entire world. There is no country. 

[mr_engineer]

2 minutes ago, Buck Edwards said:

Its the entire world. There is no country. 

The entire world includes me, right?! 

So, here's what I'm gonna do - I'm gonna set the rules of social-calibration for you. If you don't follow those rules, I'm gonna be upset. Okay?! 

[Buck Edwards]

1 minute ago, mr_engineer said:

The entire world includes me, right?! 

So, here's what I'm gonna do - I'm gonna set the rules of social-calibration for you. If you don't follow those rules, I'm gonna be upset. Okay?! 

The entire world includes you. But the entire world isn't you. Which means what applies to anyone also applies to you and me. Certain things can upset majority of people. Just avoid that behavior, it's not rocket science. You can test it as a social experiment if you want. 

For example if I went to a party and spat in someone's drink, that's socially unacceptable behavior and I could get told to leave the party and I can't blame them. 

Similarly if I walked to a couple holding an infant and started yelling at their baby, that's socially uncalibrated behavior too. They would tell me to leave. 

Similarly if a man walked naked on the street, it could be considered a public misdemeanor and he could even be arrested for public nudity. 

If I walked to a man in a park and slapped him, I could be jailed for assault. 

There are certain things we intuitively know we shouldn't do because they are a nuisance to others and people generally give an unpleasant reaction to it. The least reaction you could get it is a weird look, people walking away, people swearing at you or telling you to walk away or the worst can be a call to the police to take you out of the venue for public misdemeanor or disorderly conduct.

You could even ask in the same breath "why shouldn't I say racist slurs? who made the rules?" 

You thread reminds me of this.

 

[something_else]

2 hours ago, mr_engineer said:

This doesn't answer the question, though. 

Because your question is somewhat flawed to begin with and doesn’t really have an answer.

Asking “who decides what social calibration is” is like asking “who decides that human beings have to work”, or “who decides that money has value”

There is not really an answer to any of these questions. 

There is no “who”. There is no individual or group of people that actively decide any of this. Work, money, and socialisation are just emergent properties of living in a complex human society.

Edited November 5 by something_else