HELP: Integrity and corruption issues

[Twega]

I’ve done things which I am not proud of. I’ve cheated in relationships, i’ve lied to and manipulated women. I hate the feeling I get after I do these things. I can’t understand how one part of my brain recognizes the evil that I am doing but another reptilian part of my pain ultimately drives my behavior. It seems to have the upper hand. 

So many things I did wrong. But I also feel that what happened is a gift. I have delved so deep into the evil ways of the mind. I have lied to myself and others, broken hearts and selfishly perused my desires without consideration of future consequences. That is the gift: knowing you are evil.

 

“By recognizing you are evil, you become good. By thinking you are good, you become evil.” 

Leo’s quote really got me thinking.

 

 

I’ve improved a lot, and i’m much more honest than I was in the past. But I really want to resolve this issue once and for all.

How do I develop and strengthen my integrity?

What practices can I do internalize the pain from these experiences and force my brain to avoid them at all cost if not only for the pain they cause me and of course others?

 

I need help ya’ll, thanks

 

 

[Joshe]

I think you already have exactly what you need, which is the light shining onto the evil. It takes time for the old ways to die but now that the light is shining on them, their days are numbered. You will become more and more integrous as time goes on. 

Every time you do something you know is wrong, bring it into your consciousness and look at it closely. Eventually, you will be compelled to stop. 

The greater the sinner, the greater the saint. It is a blessing. 

 

Edited October 29 by Joshe

[Rafael Thundercat]

You posted the same post in 2 places. Moderators where are you guys?

[Yimpa]

Be brave about what it is you’re avoiding. 

Edited October 29 by Yimpa

[Twega]

11 hours ago, Rafael Thundercat said:

You posted the same post in 2 places. Moderators where are you guys?

I made a mistake and im not sure how to remove this post from the politics/society sub-topic. 

 

Moderators please remove this from here but keep mine in the personal development sub-topic 

[Human Mint]

Good you are learning 👍 cultivating a honest relationship is way more rewarding