Potpourri of Thoughts

[Princess Arabia]

I had another potential date for the same days I'm going away. He's coming down to my area mon-thurs and wanted to see me, but I had to put it off for another time. Never met him before and surely wasn't going to cancel my date with my regular. He comes down once a month so maybe he'll get in touch next month. He was a little bumbed that i wasn't available, but he says he'll keep in touch. Not too often potential dates clash, but it's usually when you're not looking is when it happens. Sometimes I can go days or even weeks without a call or text but I do go out in between so it kind of balances out.

Edited November 17 by Princess Arabia

[Princess Arabia]

The basis of all human's motivation is acquiring safety. Either we're reaching to acquire it or preserve it. Explore your own lives and the lives of others and you will find this to be the case.

[Princess Arabia]

It's always insightful to read what people have to say sometimes. I can read into the most mundane things and find something interesting there. Somebody can say something ordinary, and I can sometimes see the extraordinary in it or can see how it pertains to how reality works or how the mind sees and interprets. 

One thing i do notice is that people will talk about meditation, quieting the mind, sitting in silence etcetc and yet, they will say how somethings don't excite them anymore. They're seeking out to be stimulated in life from something outside but will see meditation as a good practice to calm the mind and remain still. When the mind is through pampering itself to feel like it achieved something and did something worthwhile, then it starts to look for things that gives the opposite effect. 

Most people, including myself, would say meditation is a good thing and has benefits. Not denying that. It only depends on the kind of meditation, though, but that's for another discussion. But why is it that the mind seeks out stimulants on a regular basis. Why is it that we get bored, or say how this and that does nothing for me, or anything on those terms. You would think we would want to seek out things that gives us the feelings that meditation gives us at all times. Not that it will happen, but why deny those things that keeps the mind stable without the ups and downs and the adrenaline effect. 

Do you see the war that's going on in the mind. The tug and pull it carries on with. It wants to force itself to remain still but after that's done, it wants to be stimulated. It not just wants those things but when neither of those things are being met, (stillness and being stimulated), it goes out seeking it. Not meditating, it says I need to meditate, no stimulant, it says i'm not stimulated enough. It's never satisfied. If something is boring, so what, if it's stimulating so what. They are only states of mind. Why seek one or the other. Let it happen naturally and be with the flow. This is why there is turmoil inside. The mind is at war with itself in both instances. You have to meditate everyday to keep it in check; then when it's in check, we seek out stimulants. 

Personally, I may meditate on the fly. In any given moment. I'm speaking about just in general, not a specific type, of which there are many. I enjoy when the urge comes and I will stop in my tracks and just meditate in the general sense for a few minutes. Then I continue to do what I was doing. Sometimes even walking. Then when a stimulant comes along, I enjoy that for the moment and feel that sensation. I don't go out looking for stimulants or it's opposite, I allow the mind to be. 

Yes, I do engage in activities that stimulates the mind deliberately, but that's just what's happening. If I'm engaging in something where I'm not being stimulated I don't say I'm not being stimulated enough, I just feel whatever I'm feeling in the moment. I try to practice being still inside around noise, around people and stimulants. Not just when I'm alone sitting in a chair with feet crossed. I meditate whenever. I enjoy that. I practice when I'm around people or doing things to keep the focus on what's happening and to focus on awareness and that I'm present. This way the stimulant doesn't sway too much to one side and the stillness the other. I don't need either or because I'm practicing the maintenance of keeping both at an equilibrium. I'm never bored and i'm never overly excited. I'm just simmering away. 

[Princess Arabia]

I'm soaking my feet and giving myself a pedicure for my 3day date which starts in a few hours. I'm soaking in Epsom salt, few drops of oil of oregano, few drops black seed oil, jojoba oil and some fresh aloe vera gel and leaves. After which I'll scrub with the Epsom salt, rinse, and dab on some jojoba oil. I'll paint them red after I shower. Didn't have any honey or I would have put some in the water too, but the aloe is good enough. 

Date is on his way, but he has to drive for 6hrs to me. Told him to text 2hrs in so I know how far away he is and how long before he arrives. He's used to travelling and driving and he's done this many times before, so he'll be ok. I already prepared half of the meal, so I don't have to slave in the kitchen for hours. Cranberry sauce is done. Turkey breasts already seasoned, and the stuffing half-way done. The quinoa and wild rice is already cooked, just have to cook the vegetables and things to add to it to make it a tasty stuffing for side dish and stuffed poblanos. 

I forgot to get eggs for breakfast so we'll pick that up on the way. Making asparagus/tomato/goat cheese omlettes for a hang over breakfast with some home fries. Maybe we'll just go to my favorite restaurant for breakfast if I'm too hung over, we'll see. I don't really get hung over anymore since I've been drinking just red wine, but sometimes I take a swig or two of Titos vodka, which he drinks and it sometimes does me over. I don't do that till the end of the night, though. Even then, some lemon water and some sunshine does the trick and I'm back to half way normal again. Play it by air/ear; which one is it, not sure.

[Princess Arabia]

Went out for dinner at my favorite spot. Salmon w/Pineapple Salsa, vegetables and brown/wild rice. Plantain chip decor.

Edited November 21 by Princess Arabia

[Princess Arabia]

Hotel I'm staying at. Go home tomorrow.  Been here for 3days.

Edited November 21 by Princess Arabia

[Princess Arabia]

Made this omlette for breakfast. What's inside. Asparagus, Mushroom and Goat Cheese. Topped w/salsa. His and hers. This one is hers.

[Princess Arabia]

The morning after. A little hung over.

[Princess Arabia]

After I got myself together

[Princess Arabia]

Home sweet home. Feel like I never left. Had a wonderful time. 3day mini vacay. Went grocery shopping and stocked up on produce and groceries. Titi's got food till next year and I'll be back on my green smoothie trail. Got me a gift card, I'll be shopping on Amazon later, for what I don't know. Maybe a nice dress and a pocketbook. Going to chill out for a few days and I'll be back on the grind. 

[Princess Arabia]

We like nature and feel peaceful in nature because there are no egos in nature.

[Princess Arabia]

The blind leading the blind to enlightenment. I get more awakened when I see ignorant questions on the forum from the "me". Not ignorant as in stupid or silly, but ignorant to recognizing who they are. They seem to think that thoughts are the problem. No, the "me" energy is. Thoughts are like another phenomenon. They are there to stay in the waking dream. They meditate to stop their thoughts. Fighting a loosing battle. Then when the thoughts appear along with the world, the body and their conscious mind, they believe that's them and now the battle begins. 

Ever seen anybody all these years come on the forum and say they've achieved enlightenment. I'm still waiting. Waiting for them to open up to the cosmos and blend in with everything. Ain't happening. No one has ever achieved enlightenment. Enlightenment is already the case, if I may say so. Doesn't matter what word we use, It's all made up. Live in the dream world and recognize it for what it is. You will say Osho and Sadhguru and Moojii and whomever else is enlightened. What does that mean. There's no one there, no attachments, no whatever.....it's already the case. No so-called human can get to a no whatever state. It will only be an experience. All these fancy words and fancy techniques are practices like we practice football or writing. We get better at it but only within the appearance. Existence. 

Not saying to not do anything or practice anything, but nothing will get you any closer to what you already are. Awareness.

[Princess Arabia]

The more we know, is the more we don't know. How is that? We're now consulting robots to tell us everything, that's how. It's OK, just don't fool yourself. We don't even paint and draw from scratch anymore, AI is doing our art for us. 

[Princess Arabia]

Most people are trapped within the mind. The mind has seemingly made us into slaves. Sometimes I feel like the crab in the bucket. They want to drag you down with them. Trying to escape from the bucket only to be dragged and keep getting dragged down. I'm already out of the bucket, though, as I've recognized that I was never in the bucket in the first place.

[Princess Arabia]

The more I go through life it's the more I'm realizing it's just patterns. Pattern recognition. I see no one there. I see patterns. Energetic patterns. Forms. It's like magic. It's everywhere. Intelligence. It's amazing. Patterns seem to change into other patterns. The clues are everywhere. If it's in reality, it's what it is. Mirrors, cloth patterns, codes, information, games, plays, characters, internet, wifi, radio frequencies, and more. All stemming from the "behind the scenes". A reflection of what is. It cannot be any other way. 

[Princess Arabia]

The reason why celebrities or famous people still get depressed, sad and similar emotions after they've accomplished their goals, I believe, is because they really strive to become the best or to do what they do with intensity to take away the feelings of unworthiness, looking for love, respect or whatever the reasons were other than just for the joy of doing it. Then those feelings are still there afterwards. They now become hopeless and defeated. Confused. Then they try even harder. More money, more fame, more accomplishments. To fill the void. We may see a smile on their faces, but deep down they're rotting inside. Those feelings are still there and they don't know where else to turn, and now they might self-destruct. Internal anger playing out. Diddy is one example. Life's forces is nothing to play with and is no match for materialism. Whitney was another example and Robin Williams. 

All expressed differently and different stories attached. Diddy maybe still alive, but he's dead inside. So many other celebrities are. They look to their fans for support and to feel alive again. Mind you, those who simply enjoy their careers for it's simple act are not in this category. They're not trying to GET something from it. They simply enjoy or even don't enjoy it. It's not about enjoying it but to simply do it without expectations either way. They understand it's their life's work and it comes with ups and downs. They aren't trying to fill a void. 

This brings me to the forum. People who complain, say they're leaving because.......are just miserable inside. They're not enjoying life for what it is. They are trying to get something from life in all it's places. Wherever they go, they'll be feeling that feeling again. It will come up and they'll be moving on again. It's one thing to leave, but it's another to complain about it or express dissatisfaction. Nothing wrong with expressing disappointment or dissatisfaction, but if it's coming from a place of judgement of others and the place itself, you're sure to keep feeling disappointments and be dissatisfied wherever you go eventually.

Being disappointed or dissatisfied with how I'm handling a situation, my own feelings of disapproval or whatever the case may be, and as long as it's being pointed at me, leaves room for improvement within, where I have different perspectives in the way I see life and it's circumstances. This way, wherever I go, I'll take along those improvements with me and recontextualize everything and everywhere and can move on without the complaints and judgements quickly because I already know it's not for me. No time to experience the things to cause the disappointments. That's how we master self-improvement. Not look at the outside alone, but invest in our own ways of being, so-to-speak, where it doesn't matter the circumstances we won't be constantly feeling these emotions and be able to transcend them to the point of stability and peace. These are the kinds of practices I find to be effective in mastering life and it's ups and downs and to keep the energies of depression and anxiety at bay. Not give them a house to live in. These are my works in progress.

Edited November 24 by Princess Arabia

[Princess Arabia]

Beautiful. Great Grey Owl. Everyday i get different pics on my laptop wallpaper feed. This one today really caught my eye. Look at those feet; looks like a little child's. Stalking its prey with precision focus. I'm amazed at nature's beauty. 

Edited Sunday at 11:02 PM by Princess Arabia

[Princess Arabia]

Notice how most Spiritual people roll. Most are only concerned with Spirituality in it's abstract form, enlightenment, awakening, ending suffering, bliss, finding peace, meditating, and things of that nature. All of which has to do with the mind. It's all about the endless mind activity. Most are in it to get something. Even if they do, they have to maintain the practices that got them there. The body also has to keep up it's maintenance work or else it fails. Peeing, shitting, sneezing, coughing, breathing, moving, etc. We don't have to do the work for that, it does it on it's own. Yes, we exercise, but we don't have to figure out how to make the limbs move. We don't need practices to figure out how to cough and sneeze. Life takes care of that. 

We need to exercise the brain's muscles in order to keep it sharp. We don't need to know how it works biologically, only how to exercise it and what to eat to keep it healthy. The how is being done for us. Everything is being done for us behind the scenes. We only need to learn things for our survival and entertainment. Pretty much; maybe a few other things. Fixing cars, building houses, technology, occupations, learning a trade schooling, growing food etcetc. Everything is there for all that. Unfortunately, some don't have access because of poverty and disabilities, but there are still things in place to help. Our luxuries are being threatened by inflation but there is plenty of resources in nature that provides the necessities. We can argue these points till eternity, but it doesn't change the fact that life is taking care of itself.

Now, why do we feel the need to trouble the mind. To stop it from operating. To stop it's movement. We don't trouble our bowel movements. We don't do practices to stop the flow or of any other bodily functions. The mind seems to be operating on it's own without our help. It seems to be in working order. I never have to say, "oh shit, where did the mind go, I can't find it". It's always there. Why do I have to bother with it. I can use it like I use the brain. The brain is always active. It never goes to sleep. When I sleep, it does body construction. When I awaken, it needs fuel. Every organ the same.

The mind is not an organ. Fine. What is it. Why does it need maintenance. We didn't invent the mind.......or did we. Not sure. Is the mind a thing or is it an hallucination. Why does life take care of itself but leaves us to struggle with the mind. Why are we trying to quiet the mind. Are we inventing and creating the mind by the very act of trying to make it less active. What if what we're actually doing is trying to quiet the very thing that makes us human. That makes us what we are. What if there is only what we see and everything else is just mind. What if the cars, the trees, the birds and buildings and everything in our immediate sight and sound are all that exist even the body, but everything else is just mind. The stories we tell, the past, the future, the life's bio's, who we think we are, even the neighbors who aren't visible in the moment. When they appear, it's the Absolute appearing in that very moment. What if everything was or is that way and it seems like there's a continuation of life. 

If everything is mind, then there really is no mind. Labelling it mind, implies there's something that's not mind. We don't take a piece out the ocean and call that piece water and the rest the ocean. The whole thing is made of water that we call the ocean. If everything was made of water, would we say everything is water. We wouldn't know the difference because we'd have nothing to compare it to. We say everything is mind, but what is mind compared to. How do we know mind if all there is is mind. 

Food for thought and to be continued......

Edit: There is no continuation. I can't do the follow up on dead thoughts. Hard to go back in time. When it's done it's done. Not that it's pointless, it's that the thoughts are different today. I don't even re-read my posts. Maybe for reference, but it's only with the pictures. Like that beautiful owl. It's hard to not be present. Continuation of the story seems dead to me, fake. This writing right here seems more alive and real. If I were to continue with all that mind stuff and trying to decipher those thoughts, it wouldn't seem original. I write on the spur of the moment. Writing a book is different. Trying to teach something is different. To just continue on the same random thoughts after they vanished is like digging up the dead. 

Edited Monday at 06:15 PM by Princess Arabia

[Princess Arabia]

So my flirt guy called me up today and wants us to go out. It's been a minute, so it'll be nice to see him. He's been busy and haven't had the time. He called me up week before last saying maybe the following week, but I had to put it off because of my 3day roundevous. Perfect timing for him because I haven't been out since Thursday, so I'm fresh to go out. We just sit at the bar and order lunch or dinner, have a few drinks and he loves to watch me smile at other guys and show my legs and flirt a bit. He pays me to do this and I don't get anything from the other guys because it's not what it's about. He doesn't want me to anyway, because of the complications and I don't want to go that route either. I do that on my own time. 

He always brings up what I did before and reminisces on the past times. Saying what he liked or didn't like but it's mostly likes. Everytime he starts to do that (on the phone while setting up our date), I try to listen, but I'm not really interested because today is a new day and has nothing to do with the other times. He seems to be living in his head and the memories are his driving force. I get it, but what I really get or understand is how we all live in our heads. 

When something bad happens, we remember it and then try to avoid circumstances that may repeat that. It's called learning from our mistakes. What if it wasn't a mistake. I don't do much complaining in life because I see how we're just making shit up along the way. In our heads, that is. Nothing to do with what's happening at the moment. I also notice, things line up easier that way. Like getting out of the way and not overthink things. No need to explain away thoughts and emotions. They're there and that's it.

Even me writing about my dates and all the stuff I say about them, they'll be someone thinking why does she do that. Why does she feel the need to express that and write about that. Who cares or whatever they're saying. That's also in my head. It's also in their heads. Thoughts and ideas about what I'm doing on both ends. I could easily be worried about what others who might be reading this think about what I'm writing or sharing, but that's living in the head. The mind concocting up stories about life. When I eliminate all that, or try to anyway, life goes much easier and simpler. Even the stories I myself make up about what I see happening, I've seen where they're pointless, useless, empty and void. Right now I'm writing and that's it. As the thoughts come, I write. Another, I write. When I'm done, it's done. When I come back home later from my date, that's done.

I love to write. Sometimes I feel like it, sometimes I don't. I do it when I feel like it and it just flows. It's all energy anyway, expressing itself through this body. Hopefully the date turns out well today, it usually does, and I come home in good spirits.

Edited Monday at 06:48 PM by Princess Arabia

[Princess Arabia]

Just this forum alone can tell you about certain aspects of reality, existence and the nature of consciousness. I have a naturally deep curiosity within my character and it grows and grows the more I delve into spirituality. Pattern recognition is also something I'm good at. Keen observation on energetic patterns. It's everywhere. Life reveals itself to you when you pay close attention to it. 

It is very scary for the ego to turn within, that's why it's always looking at the outside. The senses are there for us to make sense of the outside world. There is really no outside world. Deep understanding of these phrases is key, not just parroting. My value is deep understanding - that's it. Except for basic human needs, survival and development. I have boundaries and values there but they're not as valuable to me as existential understanding. 

I watch and listen to quality videos to develop this sense. I watch, listen and observe human's behavior without judgement to try and develop this sense. Judgment as in have anything bad to say. Normal stuff, but they are of the ego, and doesn't carry any weight. They come and ego and are forgotten. What sticks is true understanding.

The senses perceive outward precisely because there's no outward. Something is needed to be able to see and perceive outwardly. Notice the tools. They are there because they are needed to be able to have a life and a world. Without them there is none. Only emptiness, nothing, zilch, nada. Life is backwards in a sense because of the dual mirror effect. Get away from the mirror and there is no longer a reflection and now you have the raw deal. This is where most avoid. It will reveal that the ego doesn't really exist and who wants that. So we keep on looking in the mirror. This is the human's dilemma. The tragedy of the human race. Let's keep on running; running till we realize there's nowhere to run to. This is already home.