How to deal with aggressive people and drunks at clubs?

[Peo]

When i go start approaching girls during the night some girls or guys get really pissed off for just being friendly. Although i am not afraid of girls, its the guys that scare me the most. They are either drunk, annoying af or looking to fight me. I am just here to socialize and trying to have fun time, but these overly aggressive/drunk guys/girls is making me not wanting me to go out on clubs or bars anymore.

The other day i was going over talking to this girl i only said she was attractive. Then this random guy approached me and got really pissed at me for talking to his girlfriend. (I had no idea it was her boyfirend) I tried to apologize to him, but he was just screaming stfu to me. I tried to tell him to chill, but he just keep telling me to stfu and calling me names. He was also pissed at his girlfriend too. He was accusing her of being into other guys. I really tried to deescalate the situation, but he was just so pissed it was no way to reason with him. I just walked away, i had no intention to get into a fight. I did not even lay a hand on his girlfriend. I thought he would take it as a compliment that his girlfriend was attractive, but i guess i was wrong. 

Why so much fighting happening during the night? I guess it is the alcohol right? 

I have only been in one fight with my brother when we were younger, i lost big. Not worth getting into a fight you will lose. I learned this the hard way. 

I can't relax anymore because of bad experience, i am always keeping my guard up. I seem to always get myself into trouble. Guys just get so pissed of when i talk to their girlfriend. 

I also face a lot of competition during the night for the girl with another dude talking to the girl i was talking to. I have tried to win the competion with not much success. I have only won her attention 1 time. 

Any advices how to deal with aggressive/drunk guys?

How to deal with competition for a girl? 

Honestly i think Leo is right with needing a wingman for night-game. Going out solo is emotionally challenging and scary.  

 

[Hojo]

@Peo If you are trying to pick up mans girlfriends right in front of them and they are drunk then you should expect to be attacked.

Edited October 26 by Hojo

[Leo Gura]

Just apologize and back away.

If he keeps being aggressive you just leave. But don't turn your back.

Edited October 26 by Leo Gura

[Raze]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RXyPfKYi3uM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KgyRjAnHIAU

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4A8eYIADO94

https://www.girlschase.com/content/dealing-disruptive-men

https://www.girlschase.com/article/tactics-tuesdays-disruptor-destroyer

Edited October 26 by Raze

[Buck Edwards]

A guy's mentality is that they get insanely angry if their girlfriend is complimented by other dudes. They don't like it. It creates defensive aggression in them because they feel invaded. It's their core masculine instinct. 

It's not the fact that he is drunk. He was furious that you were around his girlfriend. 

Even a sober man won't be able to control his temper if he saw another man chatting or flirting with his girlfriend. 

Better to avoid such scenarios. You're sort of asking for trouble by triggering/provoking  core masculine instinct. 

[fabger]

@Buck Edwards

Not really. The confidemt ones won't puff chest because a guy is talking to their gf. Being agressive is not core masculine instinct. If you get overtly agressive then you are just a loser.

[Buck Edwards]

9 minutes ago, fabger said:

@Buck Edwards

Not really. The confidemt ones won't puff chest because a guy is talking to their gf. Being agressive is not core masculine instinct. If you get overtly agressive then you are just a loser.

Men get aggressive when they are angry. This is natural to them. Also other men see aggression in a man as a trait of confidence. This is not something I invented. This is something I observed in men. Men even take steroids to increase their natural aggression. They feel more confident when they can release their inner aggression. That's why a lot of men are attracted to someone like Andrew Tate. He represents that repressed aggression to them that they would like to look up to or achieve. 

[Davino]

47 minutes ago, fabger said:

Not really. The confidemt ones won't puff chest because a guy is talking to their gf. Being agressive is not core masculine instinct. If you get overtly agressive then you are just a loser.

It depends on the scenario. If someone is flirting with your girl and you don't go in there and put limits then you're the loser.

If you get all insecure because another man is talking with your girl or having fun with her and you go in there and act like an asshole, then you're the loser.

Social calibration is key always. Of course you'll have to be unbiased enough to ask for responsability to the guy or to your girl, with the full consequences that may imply.

[Peo]

1 hour ago, Leo Gura said:

If he keeps being aggressive you just leave. But don't turn your back.

Now i am confused, so i leave, but i don't turn my back? Are you not supposed to turn your back when you leave?

@Buck Edwards Yeah the guy was obvious really jealous even getting mad at his girlfriend. Then again i can't avoid those situations, i just have to do like Leo says just apologize and back away. I would not talk to her if i knew she had a boyfirend, thats why i usually ask in the beginning of the conversation if she has a boyfriend. 

I just thought i would be able to have resonable conversation with the guy, but he was like talking to a wall. 

[numbersinarow]

1 hour ago, Buck Edwards said:

Men get aggressive when they are angry. This is natural to them. Also other men see aggression in a man as a trait of confidence. This is not something I invented. This is something I observed in men. Men even take steroids to increase their natural aggression. They feel more confident when they can release their inner aggression. That's why a lot of men are attracted to someone like Andrew Tate. He represents that repressed aggression to them that they would like to look up to or achieve. 

 

The alternative is verbal aggression, the saddest and most pitiful form of it, which you will constantly observe in Christians, Self-help zombies, non-dualist fundamentalists and especially females.

[Buck Edwards]

Just now, Peo said:

Now i am confused, so i leave, but i don't turn my back? Are you not supposed to turn your back when you leave?

@Buck Edwards Yeah the guy was obvious really jealous even getting mad at his girlfriend. Then again i can't avoid those situations, i just have to do like Leo says just apologize and back away. I would not talk to her if i knew she had a boyfirend, thats why i usually ask in the beginning of the conversation if she has a boyfriend. 

I just thought i would be able to have resonable conversation with the guy, but he was like talking to a wall. 

Well I'm glad you're safe. 

[Buck Edwards]

4 minutes ago, numbersinarow said:

 

The alternative is verbal aggression, the saddest and most pitiful form of it, which you will constantly observe in Christians, Self-help zombies, non-dualist fundamentalists and especially females.

Verbal aggression is a problem mostly in long term situations. If someone argued with me at the club, I might have a tense few seconds and then I can go have a shower. But if you have a neighbor who is verbally aggressive, that can build up over time and that kind of drama and conflict can cause a lot of damage. You might have to move out of the neighborhood. There are other examples too. If you have a long term relationship where the other person is constantly verbally aggressive, it will destroy your health over time. Also another example is high school bullying. Verbal aggression in constant bullying can lead to long term anxiety and trauma and impact on self esteem. If you are in a club or a temporary place like a train or shopping, verbal aggression might not hurt too much because you can easily forget the incident and escape from that place quickly. Verbal aggression is generally a huge problem if you are stuck in a situation and it's long term having to deal with it, especially if it's too close physically or emotionally. 

[Nilsi]

This is where I actually agree with Andrew Tate. You need friends who have your back and are ready to defend you when shit hits the fan. That’s why men fundamentally need to be tough and know how to protect themselves and their people.

It’s like a form of nuclear deterrence - most of the time, just showing strength is enough. And when you approach things with good will, you simply apologize for the misunderstanding, buy the other party a drink, shake hands, and walk away.

Edited October 26 by Nilsi

[Schizophonia]

In nature social relationships dont work like that.

You naturally find yourself close to one or several girls, or you are introduced to them by friends when they know you are single.

Pick up is a contemporary aberration, because people are too lonely, so yes it creates frustration and violence.

That’s where religion are right in a contemporary context, even if i’m not religious at all.

Edited October 26 by Schizophonia

[mmKay]

 

 

[Kid A]

Weird. I’ve never had any trouble like this when I’ve been going out. Guys have actually been really friendly to me when I’ve hit on their girlfriend…

It should be mentioned that I’ve been completely unsuccessful with nightgame, so it could be that I’m just not a threat to them. I also have a very non-threatening appearance, I think.

[Nilsi]

Just now, Kid A said:

It should be mentioned that I’ve been completely unsuccessful with nightgame

Probably because you're listening to too much Radiohead.  

[kray]

4 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Just apologize and back away.

If he keeps being aggressive you just leave. But don't turn your back.

Or learn to fight. Drunk people have shit Motor skills, so it’s easy to punch them in the face if you know how to.

[Kid A]

11 minutes ago, Nilsi said:

Probably because you're listening to too much Radiohead.  

Spending the first five years of my adult life at home, smoking weed and listening to Radiohead, sure didn’t give me an advantage. I’ll give you that!

[fabger]

@Buck Edwards

It's still not a rule of "men". Confident dudes won't be aggressive in a situation like that. Some will, sure.