There is No One Fix Solution to Your Problems - Open discussion

[LoneWonderer]

So I'm tired of going on the internet and on youtube and seeing the same narrative being spun again and again. Things such as "fix your sleep and your life will magically become 10x better" & "fix your diet and your depression will heal"...etc etc.

Guys and gals here's the truth (at least in my opinion). There is no one solution to your problems or even several. Yes, these are all good things to do: change your bad food habits, exercise, sleep, socialize, work hard and smart, meditate etc. Individually these things will not fix your problems. You'll still be super fit, healthy and depressed af.

However when all aspects of your life get adressed, when you put in the time and effort to adress all your issues (health - physical and mental, psychology, finances, social life, love life, spirituality, your shadow etc) then you really heal. But you are kidding yourself by thinking that working on only a single or a few of the things mentioned above will bring you true peace and satisfaction.

However don't get me wrong. I think it's great you master slowly each field one by one, but it's a huge trap to think any one single improvement will fix all your life problems like all these videos and people online claim. Like how absurd is it to think that just by fixing your diet you'll not be depressed anymore. I've been down all these rabbit holes and none worked. However now I'm much better than I ever was only because I've greatly improved many fields of human, psychological, spiritual development for myself through years of hard work (and obviously I'll be improving till I die) and they all sinergize beautifully together.

We need a new narrative. A more holistic one. So much garbage online.

[Thought Art]

@LoneWonderer This is true. You know that you need a holistic approach to fixing your life. That being said, the basics: Sleep, nutrition, socialization, exercise, personal finance... getting those down are the basics of functioning healthy. 

No one thing will fix all other things, but fixing one thing can help you to fix other things. Also, each thing is connected to every other thing. 

I do think, sleep, is one of the biggest things to fix everything else. 

Holism is health. This is true.

Sleep, in theory is a holistic practice.

Expect though, that most people aren't looking at it this way.

Also, most books, teachers, and resources generally are specialized. Which is totally good and fine because learning from them gives you depth.

The truth is though, about your opening comments. If you fixed your sleep and nutrition a lot of your mental health problems would go away. This is backed by enough science and data at this point.

If most people ate properly, seasonal, and to their unique mind body type, and got quality sleep every night they likely wouldn't have mental health problems. In fact, bad nutrition and bad mental health can actually make sleep bad. So, they are two sides of one coin.  Again, I say most people. Some people are going through some strange stuff that could be genetic, trauma, neurotoxins, etc. But, even they could of course benefit greatly by a perfect diet and sleep.

Total mind body health requires a holistic perspective and take. You will need to go beyond conventional western science and into mindbody medicine. It requires a dedication, life long learning, and reading lots of books. 

Perfect mind body health, for those who has the genetics to achieve it is possible.

 

 

 

Edited October 25 by Thought Art

[Thought Art]

@LoneWonderer An additional question for you is...

How is your sleep? Do you have data on this? Are you 100% sure you have incredible sleep?

How is your nutrition? Do you have data on this? Are you sure 100% you have incredible nutrition?

How is your mental health? 

If it is not good, and you can't say yes to the above then, what do you know?

Maybe excellent sleep, excellent nutrition is the bedrock for everything else.

Maybe you over eat because you have stress at work, worry about the future, etc

Maybe you are up late at night because you didn't eat properly, and are stressed and exhausted, over stimulated, etc.

So if fixing your nutrition requires fixing your job, and view on work, and your sleep. Maybe lowering stress. But you are stressed because you don't eat well and don't sleep well. If are stressed at work because you didn't sleep well or eat well. You don't exercise after work because you don't sleep or eat well. Because you don't exercise you don't sleep well or feel well.

Each thing pours into the next thing.

Striking a balance is something I strive to do. It have taken me years and I am slowly but surely pressing forward.

Edited October 25 by Thought Art

[UnbornTao]

Two approaches: problem solving and creating what you want.

Check out Robert Fritz's work.

[Ishanga]

One thing that will for sure change Your Whole life is Your basic Mood and how consistent it is, this means how I am feeling on a Consistent basis influences the Quality of Your Life..

Why do ppl feel up and down emotionally everyday, and is this healthy or even natural?

For me, feeling pleasantness is very important, it changes most everything in my life, if I am up and down emotionally then that sucks.. Feeling Happy, Optimistic, Intense, Excited, Compassionate and such emotions means my life is Empowered.

The question is can we control or set up a default mode so these Emotions/Experience is the default? Yes we can, once You do that, everything else falls into place..

[Thought Art]

Buddhism has a good holistic frame work… 

chatgpt:

Buddhism offers a framework called the Noble Eightfold Path, which is a guide to ethical conduct, mental development, and wisdom. It’s designed to lead individuals out of suffering, encouraging liberation through a balanced, mindful approach to life. Here’s an outline of the path and its elements:

 

    1.    Right Understanding (Samma Ditthi)

Recognizing the nature of reality and the causes of suffering is the foundation. It involves understanding the Four Noble Truths:

    •    Life contains suffering (dukkha).

    •    The cause of suffering is attachment and craving.

    •    There’s a way out of suffering.

    •    The Noble Eightfold Path is the way to transcend suffering.

    2.    Right Intention (Samma Sankappa)

This is the commitment to cultivate thoughts and actions that align with ethical values and compassion, driven by goodwill, non-harm, and renunciation of harmful desires.

    3.    Right Speech (Samma Vaca)

Speaking truthfully, kindly, and purposefully. Avoiding lies, gossip, harsh speech, and divisive talk promotes harmony and clarity in relationships and the inner self.

    4.    Right Action (Samma Kammanta)

This refers to ethical and compassionate conduct, avoiding harm to others through actions like killing, stealing, or unwise sexual conduct. Right action promotes integrity and trust.

    5.    Right Livelihood (Samma Ajiva)

Choosing a career or work that does not harm others or encourage unethical behavior. This extends to engaging in work that aligns with personal and societal well-being, supporting rather than exploiting others.

    6.    Right Effort (Samma Vayama)

Focusing mental energy on positive intentions and growth while abandoning negative patterns. Right effort involves the cultivation of wholesome states, moving the mind toward kindness, mindfulness, and tranquility.

    7.    Right Mindfulness (Samma Sati)

Developing awareness of the present moment, observing thoughts, emotions, and body sensations without attachment or aversion. This state of mindfulness brings clarity, reducing reactive behavior and cultivating wisdom.

    8.    Right Concentration (Samma Samadhi)

Deep, focused meditation that strengthens the mind’s ability to remain calm, insightful, and connected to the present. This practice allows deeper insight into the nature of self and reality, leading to liberation from suffering.

 

Each element works synergistically to heal suffering by shifting one’s habits of thinking, acting, and perceiving the world. The aim is not to eliminate emotions or desires but to engage with them in a balanced, clear, and non-attached way. This path encourages continuous self-reflection, growth, and compassion, offering a way to heal and transform suffering into understanding and equanimity.

[Thought Art]

@Thought Art If you expand the idea of “right (blank) with life balance: 

ChatGPT 

Integrating the Noble Eightfold Path with the concept of the eight areas of life balance can create a holistic framework for well-being that aligns with inner growth and practical life goals. Here’s how each aspect of the path might align with life balance dimensions like health, relationships, work, and more:

 

1. Health and Right Understanding

 

    •    Application: Cultivating a clear understanding of the body, mind, and the causes of health and illness. Right Understanding in health means knowing how choices impact well-being and fostering a realistic, informed perspective on physical and mental health.

    •    Expansion: Deepening knowledge about nutrition, exercise, sleep, and mental well-being can prevent suffering by aligning with natural laws of health and vitality.

 

2. Relationships and Right Intention

 

    •    Application: Intentional thinking within relationships helps cultivate love, compassion, and non-harm, promoting healthier, deeper connections.

    •    Expansion: Setting clear intentions to approach relationships with kindness, empathy, and understanding, avoiding possessiveness and harmful expectations.

 

3. Career and Right Speech

 

    •    Application: Using clear, honest, and constructive communication in the workplace to build trust and foster collaboration.

    •    Expansion: Applying Right Speech involves managing interpersonal communication with integrity, avoiding gossip or divisive language, and supporting a positive work environment that aligns with personal values.

 

4. Finances and Right Action

 

    •    Application: Taking ethical actions in earning and spending, aligning finances with broader life values like generosity, responsibility, and integrity.

    •    Expansion: Right Action in finances might involve mindful spending, avoiding debt when possible, and making financial choices that support long-term well-being and growth.

 

5. Recreation and Right Livelihood

 

    •    Application: Balancing work and play in a way that respects personal values and ethics, choosing recreational activities that renew energy without depleting well-being.

    •    Expansion: With Right Livelihood, recreational choices would avoid harm to oneself or others and align with one’s larger life purpose. This could mean activities that cultivate mindfulness, connection, or creativity rather than mindless distraction.

 

6. Personal Growth and Right Effort

 

    •    Application: Committing to personal development by fostering healthy habits, learning, and growth in areas like creativity, spirituality, or wisdom.

    •    Expansion: Right Effort focuses on developing and sustaining positive habits. For personal growth, this could mean consciously investing time in education, mindfulness practices, or creative exploration to continuously evolve and improve.

 

7. Spirituality and Right Mindfulness

 

    •    Application: Cultivating a sense of presence, awareness, and connection to the world and oneself, fostering spiritual well-being and purpose.

    •    Expansion: Right Mindfulness supports spirituality by grounding one in the present moment and reducing anxiety about past and future. Regular meditation, gratitude, or contemplation practices can deepen awareness and connection to the spiritual dimension of life.

 

8. Environment and Right Concentration

 

    •    Application: Creating a space and environment that is conducive to calm, focus, and well-being, aligning the physical environment with inner peace.

    •    Expansion: Right Concentration helps one stay focused on what matters most. Applying this to environment means arranging one’s surroundings mindfully to support clarity and purpose, from minimizing distractions to creating spaces for focus and relaxation.

 

Holistic Expansion: Integrating the Path into Life Balance

 

Expanding the Noble Eightfold Path across life’s domains involves a shift toward intentional living. Just as each element of the path promotes healing suffering and achieving balance, integrating these principles can offer a well-rounded approach to balancing practical life with inner growth. For instance:

 

    •    Mindful Reflection: Periodically review each area of life in light of the Eightfold Path, asking how each area aligns with intentions, values, and well-being.

    •    Cultivating Compassion and Integrity: Use the path as a guide to cultivate compassion in relationships, integrity in finances, and wisdom in personal growth.

    •    Sustaining Purpose and Joy: Each area is not an isolated pursuit but contributes to a meaningful, balanced life that reduces suffering, enhances joy, and fosters a deeper connection with oneself and the world.

 

Integrating these principles encourages an approach that’s not just about balancing life areas but deepening their quality with intention, clarity, and mindfulness. Each step weaves both inner and outer well-being into a more unified and fulfilled way of living.

[Sabth]

I can't. I think my mind is kinda rotting right now. (Idk). Should I talk to my family? Should I not? (I don't wanna). This is something that I forced on myself. It wasn't natural. But we can't fake it anymore. Like it was just a comfortable thing to do. But in truth. They're the ugliest person ever. But they try to make it as if nothing happened. Acting as if nothing is wrong. After they killed me. Tried to make everything normal. After stealing from me and betrayed me. And at one point I even fall for it. Like feeling like my parents are getting older. And I wanna move to a different place with my parents. Like wanting my parent to stop working. And I was okay with my nephew/nieces. And I wanna my sister to come back. Visit us. It was the natural feeling or calling that I got. And sometimes I would feel something weird too. Though I didn't know why but I wasn't completely forgetting what they did to me. And as I was becoming stronger, or not too weak , i kinda question it. 

And now I would still think about it. I've blocked the first suspect. But it could be other too. And those who had betrayed me, I don't. Want to make connection with them. They are my direct fam member. My father asked me if I wanna go to my siblings places. And I don't wanna go. Even though my sister is kinda soft hearted. She did it the second time and I don't wanna. Why couldn't you not betrayed me the first time ? I know she is my sister. Maybe she had a lot of other things above her. But, she didn't say anything to me. 

So it's over. When I cut my mom off only then she would come to me. But it's over. I even think that I do not wanna talk to her initially. But then, I still do. Even though it was a little tense. And when she asked me if anything was wrong, I do not wanna talk to her at all anymore. It's over . You can't be asking me what's wrong. I already told her. And she ignored me. And my mom too. So now even though my father assaulted me with other guy I still talk to him. My brother I do not like him because he always acted like older brother (even to my oldest sister) when he was just a younger bro. I am closest to my youngest bro. Back in the day, cuz we're youngest. But he hadn't been at home for years. We're separated. For a long time. And now that we're older it would be kinda awkward when we do meet. It's a little too old. If we grow up together things would hv been normal. Idk. But he is with my oldest sister , so I just thought that she is taking care of him. Idk.. I really don't know.. (remembering what happened to me..) all is fine. It had been a long time we haven't met. Here. (I do go there a month or two ago) And when he was here he could already drive around. I can't believe that he's already as old as when I was in a university back then. Idk if I'm responsible for him or not my oldest sister is. 

My father asked me if I wanna go to their place or not later this year, and I said I don't. Since I have cut my mom off. And if I were to go I would wanna go to another place. It was local. And was promoted. And I saw that it was very beautiful. And I like this place. My grandma's place. Idk. If I were to move that's where I wanna go. 

And , yk, when I travelled with my mom to a place that I've missed a lot, my father who had abused me would not allowed me to walk on my own . And I stayed with my mom. This was never the case when I'm alone back then. I could go wherever I want. And I honestly didn't wanna go back. I wanna stay there for a few months. I miss it and I don't wanna go back to my dad. Even though I wish I could bring my nephew and nieces for a while. Idk. Idk. It's just a feeling that I felt. Like we have become close. Even though, their mom could be the one who's stealing my things . And my bro too. They killed me. But I became very close to my mom because I'm weak. And by right , if I hadn't choose to stop going, she would have to drive me to the hospital forever once a month to take a vaccine. Whatever that is. It just felt so fucked up. So I stop going. And she would threaten me to sent me back and I even thought that would be better (how much I would rather be there forever than be at home. If it were like this ) like I don't mind it. I have been killed anyway. And I'm used to sit in that hospital for over a month.  Yk. Might as well just carry it forever. I've been killed anyway. And if they didn't steal my things after I came back that would have been more acceptable. But I've lost a lot of things.  
My heart sink writing this. 

Edited October 27 by Sabth

[Princess Arabia]

The problem is thinking it's a problem to begin with. No amount of solving a problem will solve the problem of problems. Notice after one gets solved another arises, even within that same "fixed" problem - another arises out of that.

You get healthy, now you need to maintain that, you find a gf, now you have gf problems, you get a job, now you have work related problems, you buy a car, now you have car problems, you get plenty of sex, now you have sex problems, you solve being lonely, now you have people problems. 

The thing is to not see problems. Life is life and things are happening. You only need to fix that chair or that broken table. Life is happening in succession; one thing after the next, after the next, after the next. Respond accordingly and see the world as one big happening. The very notion that there are problems and that there's something to fix is what's creating the problem.

Note: I'm not saying there aren't challenges. All i'm saying is calling them problems is a cycle that will never end and one solved only creates new ones within the circle. Just see life as something to live not problems to be solved. There-in lies internal peace.

Edited October 25 by Princess Arabia

[LoneWonderer]

7 hours ago, Thought Art said:

@LoneWonderer This is true. You know that you need a holistic approach to fixing your life. That being said, the basics: Sleep, nutrition, socialization, exercise, personal finance... getting those down are the basics of functioning healthy. 

No one thing will fix all other things, but fixing one thing can help you to fix other things. Also, each thing is connected to every other thing. 

I do think, sleep, is one of the biggest things to fix everything else. 

Holism is health. This is true.

Sleep, in theory is a holistic practice.

Expect though, that most people aren't looking at it this way.

Also, most books, teachers, and resources generally are specialized. Which is totally good and fine because learning from them gives you depth.

The truth is though, about your opening comments. If you fixed your sleep and nutrition a lot of your mental health problems would go away. This is backed by enough science and data at this point.

If most people ate properly, seasonal, and to their unique mind body type, and got quality sleep every night they likely wouldn't have mental health problems. In fact, bad nutrition and bad mental health can actually make sleep bad. So, they are two sides of one coin.  Again, I say most people. Some people are going through some strange stuff that could be genetic, trauma, neurotoxins, etc. But, even they could of course benefit greatly by a perfect diet and sleep.

Total mind body health requires a holistic perspective and take. You will need to go beyond conventional western science and into mindbody medicine. It requires a dedication, life long learning, and reading lots of books. 

Perfect mind body health, for those who has the genetics to achieve it is possible.

 

 

 

Thanks. I agree with everything you've said here.

[LoneWonderer]

13 minutes ago, Princess Arabia said:

The problem is thinking it's a problem to begin with. No amount of solving a problem will solve the problem of problems. Notice after one gets solved another arises, even within that same "fixed" problem - another arises out of that.

You get healthy, now you need to maintain that, you find a gf, now you have gf problems, you get a job, now you have work related problems, you buy a car, now you have car problems, you get plenty of sex, now you have sex problems, you solve being lonely, now you have people problems. 

The thing is to not see problems. Life is life and things are happening. You only need to fix that chair or that broken table. Life is happening in succession; one thing after the next, after the next, after the next. Respond accordingly and see the world as one big happening. The very notion that there are problems and that there's something to fix is what's creating the problem.

Note: I'm not saying there aren't challenges. All i'm saying is calling them problems is a cycle that will never end and one solved only creates new ones within the circle. Just see life as something to live not problems to be solved. There-in lies internal peace.

You are correct too. But this is a very deep way to see this problem that requires one to build introspection. Introspection will help you see your problems in a new light.

[Thought Art]

@Sabth Why are you posting this random post here? Please don't do that.

[Princess Arabia]

Just now, LoneWonderer said:

You are correct too. But this is a very deep way to see this problem that requires one to build introspection. Introspection will help you see your problems in a new light.

I understand your point of view. I like to work from the top down. I'm a simple kind of gal. We choose how we want life to go. I choose the simple way. Not saying it's not tough or hard, it's just it's in a more smoother tough and hard way. You can either use your fingernails to chop the wood or use a saw, I'll use the saw. In this case, i'm the wood that's already chopped while reversing the motions through the experience of watching the saw do the work. If that makes sense to you. 

[Thought Art]

@Princess Arabia Your post contains some truths, that at each stage and relationship in life there is some degree of conflict.

But, it's not really the point of the thread or conversation.

We are discussing holism in health, and how to achieve this. That, we shouldn't focus on the ONE thing to fix our whole lives... paradoxically other than holism.

Also, the way you go about life needn't be the attitude which you describe. One can enjoy life now, and at all stages of life... One need not endlessly create new problems. Problems that get to the core, or root can actually make things better. Life can improve, health can improve and problems can be solved. 

There are different types of motivation, and value schemes people can develop. 

People can simply enjoy life as a DIY project, and the mystery and insight that comes from learning.

People suffering from depression, addiction, energy issues, digestion issues, etc. They can actually solve these problems once and for all, and the solving of these issues can make life better for the rest of their lives without really creating new problems. It may open doors to new life challenges, but surely these challenges are of a higher nature and are more ideal that the ones previously dealt with, if they come up at all.

Simplicity has it's place. But, so does complexity. 

Intelligence consciousness, and taking health seriously, which is a complex subject, is not to be poo poo'd. 

Edited October 25 by Thought Art

[Princess Arabia]

@Thought ArtIf you notice my responses were my way of seeing things and not once did I suggest the other ways were wrong. I believe I still stuck to the essence of the thread and didn't veer off topic. I specifically stated I understood their pov, just to show I wasn't saying I was opposed to anything. I can only respond to how I view things and from what state of consciousness I experienced the question from. My opinion about holism is seeing things from the whole and that's equivalent to starting from the top down which is also seeing things from the whole before you chop it into pieces. So, I'm seeing it from the holistic pov its just it's holism at it's purest.

I respect your constructive criticism and do understand where it's coming from, but please also take note that we are all at different levels of development on the relative scale and some of us will view things differently. I believe that as long as one is not aggressively opposing the other's way of looking at things and are also open to seeing things differently, then how that person expresses themselves, as long as it's within topic, there shouldn't be an attempt to correct or alter their response.

My comment wasn't trying to alter the OP's perspectives, it was me simply expressing my own. 

[LoneWonderer]

28 minutes ago, Thought Art said:

@Princess Arabia Your post contains some truths, that at each stage and relationship in life there is some degree of conflict.

But, it's not really the point of the thread or conversation.

We are discussing holism in health, and how to achieve this. That, we shouldn't focus on the ONE thing to fix our whole lives... paradoxically other than holism.

Also, the way you go about life needn't be the attitude which you describe. One can enjoy life now, and at all stages of life... One need not endlessly create new problems. Problems that get to the core, or root can actually make things better. Life can improve, health can improve and problems can be solved. 

There are different types of motivation, and value schemes people can develop. 

People can simply enjoy life as a DIY project, and the mystery and insight that comes from learning.

People suffering from depression, addiction, energy issues, digestion issues, etc. They can actually solve these problems once and for all, and the solving of these issues can make life better for the rest of their lives without really creating new problems. It may open doors to new life challenges, but surely these challenges are of a higher nature and are more ideal that the ones previously dealt with, if they come up at all.

Simplicity has it's place. But, so does complexity. 

Intelligence consciousness, and taking health seriously, which is a complex subject, is not to be poo poo'd. 

I have a question for you I'm not really sure the answer to. Imagine your average joe. He's 40 years old whent to college in America and now does finance on wall street (could be any job really). During his spare time he volunteers and works on his motorbikes. He feels fullfilled with his life he says. Yet if joe picked up a single book on self development or was really forced face the reality of the world ( let's say joe travelled to Africa for a month) his sense of reality would start to collapse. His extremely narrow fullfilling life would start to crumble before his eyes and he'd begin to wake up to a much bigger reality. 

My question for you is the following:

In his day to day life, joe claims to be fullfilled and whole. Yet joe evades that which doesn't fit into his worldview and that which scares him. So how happy can Joe really be? Doesn't this seed of doubt, fear and avoidance pester him in the background slowly leading to full blown depression? Will joe only realise on his deathbed how shallow his life really was?

 

This is all hypothetical case and loads of assumtions about poor joe were made in this post.

Edited October 25 by LoneWonderer

[Princess Arabia]

26 minutes ago, Thought Art said:

Also, the way you go about life needn't be the attitude which you describe

You did the same thing I did, except I didn't use the word needn't be. That would be like me telling OP how to go about his life and how he should see it. My comment was suggesting ways to go about it and how I personally go about it, not telling OP he needn't do this or that and telling him in the way he described. From your comment, you're telling me I don't need to approach life the way I am approaching it, which I think is way different than suggesting ways to go about it and how I personally go about it.

[Thought Art]

@LoneWonderer Depends on Joe I think. 

[Thought Art]

@Princess Arabia I am saying that, everyone has a unique approach. Happy to hear yours. My bad.

[Princess Arabia]

Just now, Thought Art said:

@Princess Arabia I am saying that, everyone has a unique approach. Happy to hear yours. My bad.

🥰