Leeooooo!!!! What is happening???

[ExploringReality]

I've really listened to your episode called "Understanding Awareness" and under the guided meditation you took me on, putting my awareness through the feeling of the body and the self image "I" have which is fantasy. I was so blown away by this that the sense of self was stripped and all that is left is Awareness of the coming and going of thoughts and feelings. First of all. I'm so damn unaware of the actual sensations that make up sensory experience and I take my thoughts to what is True. 

I asked myself what is happening??? Right when you asked at the end of the guided meditation "What just happened"? WTF.

What is awareness? What is reality? What is consciousness? Why am I asleep? I don't know jack shit. I'm a machine pulled and jerked about by internal and external forces without control, but paradoxically there is no controller, the ego is all about control. But the ego is an illusion that I've been indoctrinated with. My sense of sense is largely consisted of the inner voice. I talk to myself all the time and didn't even realize that I consider myself to be this fucking voice in my head 🗣️ 

I don't know what I AM is. I don't know what awareness is, this is a big deal. Thank you for pointing this out. This Unknown, I have been here under LSD and what gets me through is surrender and release of control and neurosis. 

@Leo Gura I have mahasi sayadha book " practical insight meditation" and can see how I have zero mindfulness skills even though I've had different altered and psychedelic states of consciousness exploration. I see why your thumbnail to that episode is you covering your eyes!  

[Leo Gura]

That's just the tip. Keep digging.

[Breakingthewall]

12 hours ago, ExploringReality said:

the ego is all about control. But the ego is an illusion

Don't underestimate the ego. The ego is a germinal software implanted by millions of years of evolution that programs itself taking elements that it finds as it develops. Their bases of fear and attachment are impossible to ignore, their need for acceptance the same. Your ego is very different from that of a 10th century Aztec, but its foundations are the same.

[_Archangel_]

@ExploringReality That lil book is a great place to start. Actually, it might be all You need. Practical and traight to the point, with easy but powerful techniques. Might get you Awakened. Follow to the letter