Why women don't like nice guys?

[Buck Edwards]

Is this guy in the video telling the truth about why women don't like nice guys. The video is short. 

 

[Majed]

@Buck Edwards i think women don’t like nice guys because they’re not challenging to the girl, girls want a challenge, something above them. Bad boys are that. 

[NoSelfSelf]

Because they are weak.

[Keryo Koffa]

Because they are cringe.

[gettoefl]

I can choose nice or electrifying 

Why would I settle for blah and dull?

I deserve the world

Shape up or ship out

My dreams will be fulfilled

[Xonas Pitfall]

Women do like "nice" guys. The issue is that many self-proclaimed nice guys see themselves that way because there’s not much more to them - or at least, they haven’t done the work to discover what makes them interesting, what they bring to friendships and relationships, or done enough self-improvement. They also fail to showcase their value clearly to the world. So, they believe "niceness" is an inherently good quality that can make up for their other shortcomings. Comparing themselves to "bad boys," "Chads," or "arrogant fuckboys," they build an identity around "I’m so kind, this proves girls don’t value niceness." They start blaming women for their suffering and loneliness.

What they don’t realize is they wouldn’t like themselves either if they were women. Plus, they often chase very specific girls - and not for the "nicest" reasons. A lot of these "nice guys" may also cheat, potentially even more than the "fuckboys," because they don’t feel confident in their ability to get girls. So, if the opportunity for more sex comes up, they take it, believing they "deserve" it or that the world owes them. They also often fall into the "Simp" trope: as soon as the girl they were so "kind" to rejects them, they turn bitter, calling her all sorts of slurs. This just reveals they were never genuinely nice - only covertly manipulative.

Think about it: if a girl were fundamentally "nice" and "sweet" but not at all attractive to you, would you still be with her? What if the conversations you had with her didn’t interest or stimulate you? What if she had an attitude you didn’t like, or your personalities didn’t mesh? What if she spent her time sitting in her room, eating junk food, watching TikToks, with no job or ambition, yet was still "polite"? Guys reject "nice" girls all the time, or cheat on them for someone hotter or more interesting. Look at the "hot/crazy matrix" meme - it shows that the hotter the girl, the more you’ll tolerate her not being "nice." The same applies here.

After a while, women realize this truth. They start thinking, "If I can’t trust any guy not to cheat on me, or if they’re just being fake nice to sleep with me, then I might as well go for the guy who’s most appealing - whether it’s because of his personality, looks, or career status. At least if the relationship fails, I got something out of it and will regret it less."

I think that’s how a lot of this happens - a guy (or girl) is "nice," but they don’t work on improving themselves or the relationship. Then, their partner is swept away by someone who seems more confident, and they perceive that as arrogance. They label the partner delusional or foolish for choosing the other person over them. In response, they cling to their "niceness", making it an identity and believing they deserve appreciation just for being "polite."

Again, I don’t think men or women dislike nice people. The problem is with those who get lazy and complacent - who don’t do much in general or after entering a relationship, but expect to be loved just because they "don’t disturb the peace" or are simply "okay." Niceness should really be the bare minimum if you want to engage in a close, intimate relationship. If a guy is nice and a valuable partner, fucking perfect. That’s a woman’s "ideal" - not an arrogant, selfish narcissist who happens to be hot but treats her poorly or degrades her, as so-called "nice guys" seem to think.

Think about it in terms of a workplace analogy: just because someone is a good worker, or even "good enough" and doing their job as expected, doesn’t mean they’ll advance or be highly appreciated. That’s already the bare minimum, what’s expected. Those who typically rise higher are the ambitious ones, the ones who take initiative, who find ways to leverage situations, and put in extra effort, either in their work or in how they present themselves. Simply being "a good worker" or "nice" won’t get you far on its own.

Edited October 24 by Xonas Pitfall

[Princess Arabia]

The problem with these terms, such as in nice, is they get interpreted in different ways. Then guys become pricks or assholes just so they don't come off as nice because they heard women don't like nice guys. Then when they get dissed or left or ignored by women, they call us confused. You cannot remain nice for long if you're not truly nice and your bad-boy persona is short-lived and will come off as fake if you're just putting on a front.

I've seen guys who are so bad, that their being nice is still bad. Not bad-boy bad, but bad personality wise. I've seen nice guys try to act like a bad-boy and they just seem awkward. These things are usually problematic for men because they try to impress us their way instead of getting to know the female and to see if they're compatible or to even adjust their personality a bit to suit the dynamic. We all have different personalities within us, and they naturally come out depending on whom we're interacting with so it's pointless to say just be yourself. That's cliche nonsense, and will be found out the hard way when trying to do that, because one cannot "not" be themselves.

[Xonas Pitfall]

@Princess Arabia 100%

[Tenebroso]

Sometimes it feels like everything we do is wrong or can be interpreted as malevolent  My impression is that attraction is nothing to do with being good or bad, it's about looks, status and chemistry.  If you are attractive, then everything you is interpreted positively, while people assume the worst about unattractive people.

[hoodrow trillson]

Women like kind guys

There’s a big difference 

[Tenebroso]

@hoodrow trillson What's the difference between kind and nice? Seems the nice/kind goalpost is always moving.

[Princess Arabia]

16 minutes ago, hoodrow trillson said:

Women like kind guys

There’s a big difference 

Yes

[Princess Arabia]

11 minutes ago, Tenebroso said:

@hoodrow trillson What's the difference between kind and nice? Seems the nice/kind goalpost is always moving.

Nice is when you're trying to impress her, but using manipulative tactics. To get her to like you. Everybody tries to impress, but the difference with the nice is when he's insecure about it but tries anyway. Kind is when he really cares about her and her feelings, not wanting to mislead her and loves to show acts of kindness without compromising his own integrity and boundaries. Nice will do that just to get her then dislike her for him having to do things just to get her. Nobody is all around nice. Piss off a nice person and see their other sides shine quickly.

Edited October 24 by Princess Arabia

[Princess Arabia]

50 minutes ago, Tenebroso said:

Sometimes it feels like everything we do is wrong or can be interpreted as malevolent

It's not that, it's just women have to be vigilant and always have to be on the lookout. We have to protect ourselves against predators, users, rapists, abusers, stalkers, liars, wannabes, fakers, manipulators, and men who don't have our best interest in mind. One-night stands, hook ups and just for sex doesn't have anything to do with this as some women are looking for just that too; it's just we want to feel safe around even those times and have to be on guard with strangers we don't know at all times, and now it has become instilled and engrained in us. 

Women can also lie and be all those things but what I'm speaking about is mostly for our safety and protection. 

[Sandhu]

1 hour ago, Princess Arabia said:

The problem with these terms, such as in nice, is they get interpreted in different ways. Then guys become pricks or assholes just so they don't come off as nice because they heard women don't like nice guys. Then when they get dissed or left or ignored by women, they call us confused. You cannot remain nice for long if you're not truly nice and your bad-boy persona is short-lived and will come off as fake if you're just putting on a front.

I've seen guys who are so bad, that their being nice is still bad. Not bad-boy bad, but bad personality wise. I've seen nice guys try to act like a bad-boy and they just seem awkward. These things are usually problematic for men because they try to impress us their way instead of getting to know the female and to see if they're compatible or to even adjust their personality a bit to suit the dynamic. We all have different personalities within us, and they naturally come out depending on whom we're interacting with so it's pointless to say just be yourself. That's cliche nonsense, and will be found out the hard way when trying to do that, because one cannot "not" be themselves.

[hoodrow trillson]

37 minutes ago, Tenebroso said:

@hoodrow trillson What's the difference between kind and nice? Seems the nice/kind goalpost is always moving.

kindness is often motivated by genuine care and empathy, while niceness can be more surface-level and focused on social expectations

[Raze]

57 minutes ago, hoodrow trillson said:

Women like kind guys

There’s a big difference 

“Kind” is not how I usually see women describing their ex’s

[Princess Arabia]

8 minutes ago, Raze said:

“Kind” is not how I usually see women describing their ex’s

That's why they're exes. Women usually appreciate this trait, not go out looking for it. It's a trait noticeable after getting to know. That's why it won't show up as much in her list and will choose guys who aren't because it's tough to tell in the beginning whose generally kind.

[NoSelfSelf]

1 hour ago, Raze said:

“Kind” is not how I usually see women describing their ex’s

Some mix of charm and an asshole ,since they 9/10 marry an asshole and then complains about it ,then tell their sons to be kind they took it as bein a nice guy and they are doomed 😅.

When you ask them why you married an asshole they will say i didnt know 😆

Being cocky arrogant/charming gets you women that's how it works.

Edited October 24 by NoSelfSelf

[hoodrow trillson]

2 hours ago, Raze said:

“Kind” is not how I usually see women describing their ex’s

You’ve been watching too much YouTube relationship videos