Desire / Hate relationships between men and women.

[Javfly33]

Warning, This might be probably the most valuable topic I´ve made in this forum:

 

Desire and Hate are different sides of the same coin. 

Desire is not Love, one desires only because one sees the other person as fundamentally different, therefore you desire "having that 'exotic' thing" that you do not have.

Hate is the response or reaction to desire

 

He desires her

She hates him

 

He desires her that she will finally love him 😖 (He desires her love)

And she hates him because he does not love her 😤 (desire is felt as separation/absence of love/feeling like an 'object')

 

Two options to resolve this:

One

He accepts he can not be loved by her, because he wants his love because she hates him. But she hates him because he does not love her.

He must love, unconditionally, then she will not hate him anymore. He will not desire anymore. Cycle ended. 

 

Two

She accepts she can not be loved by him, because he desires her, and desire as we said means difference and separation, (you can not Love something that you think is not you or you think is fundamentally different)

She must love, unconditionally, then he will not desire her anymore (because by she loving him he will experience unity with her, therefore Love, therefore desire towards her disappears). 

 

This is how you solve a Karmic entanglement between two beings. Sometimes it takes a whole lifetime to see what is really going on. 

Edited October 19 by Javfly33

[DianaFr]

Is this a real life situation or an idea your playing with? And does this refer to an individual relationship or do you attempt to describe a universal truth? 

[Buck Edwards]

It seems like you are describing one sided relationships. 

[Keryo Koffa]

Well, it's not nice to be used as someone's wall of projection for self-validation.

[Buck Edwards]

If we say an easy yes to a guy, we are considered slutty, if we say no, we are considered rude or too proud. Women can never win with this. 

[Schizophonia]

@Javfly33 ???

Love came with desire, there is no contradiction.

[Javfly33]

3 hours ago, Schizophonia said:

@Javfly33 ???

Love came with desire, there is no contradiction.

I´m sorry if with words is not easily understood, I´ll pass you a video I recently recorded: 

 

 

 

 

Edited October 20 by Javfly33

[Ishanga]

5 hours ago, Buck Edwards said:

If we say an easy yes to a guy, we are considered slutty, if we say no, we are considered rude or too proud. Women can never win with this. 

this has more to do with what a society think of you, not an inherent desiring process that happens within each of us, and societies can differ drastically on what they think of someone's behaviour and ways of life, that is why generally there is no such thing as Absolute Good or Bad, as that is mostly made up societies morals and ethics...

[Javfly33]

16 hours ago, DianaFr said:

Is this a real life situation or an idea your playing with?

This is how existence works. 

Quote

And does this refer to an individual relationship or do you attempt to describe a universal truth? 

It happens with certain type of entanglements between two people. 

[Princess Arabia]

5 hours ago, Javfly33 said:

I´m sorry if with words is not easily understood, I´ll pass you a video I recently recorded: 

 

 

 

 

Nice. Congrats on your channel. Nice accent. Thought it was NoSelfSelf for a quick minute. Lol. But seriously, you're talking about how men can relate to their long-term relationships or wives. When a man first sees his attraction, he can't help but desire her. How can he love her without knowing her. I've seen plenty of average, especially married couples, where the men are doing just that - what you're saying in the video. Plenty of fat women or unattractive women being truly loved by their long-time husbands. Problem is, some still desire a hot woman sexually and go cheat on her as it's easy for men to separate the two - love and sex. Whether it's with prostitutes or regular female. Some, not all - feel like I have to keep saying this.

What you're talking about is him loving and caring for his already gf or wife; not someone he just met and is attracted to, all he's thinking about there is him with her in the bed if held sexually attracted to her.

The other day, I saw a sexily-dressed young female walking and some older guy try to stop her from his car and she said in a Puerto Rican accent, "keep moving, motherfucker, you pervert you", and kept on walking. Real loud too. You could hear the disgust in her voice as if she was tired of men treating her as a sex object but still wanted to dress how she wanted to dress. She wasn't showing any much flesh but she had a banging tight body and wore tight fitting pants and a top. Her shape was revealed through her clothing. It was just a pants and a top but revealed her hips and flat stomach, plus she had a pretty face. Hard for a man not to desire her, if she's his type.

[gettoefl]

He desires and despises

She loves and loathes

And never the twain shall meet

He marries what he fancies and she marries what she fits

Edited October 21 by gettoefl

[Schizophonia]

22 hours ago, Javfly33 said:

I´m sorry if with words is not easily understood, I´ll pass you a video I recently recorded: 

 

 

 

 

Bastien Ughetto it's you ? 🤔

[Schizophonia]

You didn't responded to my question, why couldn't you both love and desire a women.

[Keryo Koffa]

3 minutes ago, Schizophonia said:

Bastien Ughetto it's you ? 🤔

 Sure it's not just Jreg? Especially with the sunglasses! 😁

[Schizophonia]

6 minutes ago, Keryo Koffa said:

 Sure it's not just Jreg? Especially with the sunglasses! 😁

Ahah.

He looks like him too indeed.

[Tenebroso]

So our desires as males are wrong and unwanted. It feels like women regard male desire as a burden.

[Princess Arabia]

4 hours ago, Tenebroso said:

So our desires as males are wrong and unwanted. It feels like women regard male desire as a burden.

 Where is this coming from, What are you referring to. I'm not even sure how to respond to this. You can desire whomever you want to desire. No one is stopping you from desiring. Unwanted? Unwanted by whom, a stranger? A burden for who, a stranger? Is that what you're saying? Or are you saying women that you don't know but desire should want you to desire them. I'm not sure what you're saying. The only way a woman will know that someone desires her is if he either tells her or shows her. Would you go do that with some strange woman? Because that's probably where the unwanted and burden would come in.

Edited October 22 by Princess Arabia

[Tenebroso]

17 minutes ago, Princess Arabia said:

 Where is this coming from, What are you referring to. I'm not even sure how to respond to this. You can desire whomever you want to desire. No one is stopping you from desiring. Unwanted? Unwanted by whom, a stranger? A burden for who, a stranger? Is that what you're saying? Or are you saying women that you don't know but desire should want you to desire them. I'm not sure what you're saying. The only way a woman will know that someone desires her is if he either tells her or shows her. Would you go do that with some strange woman? Because that's probably where the unwanted and burden would come in.

I was responding to Javfly33's video but I think you are right.

"Or are you saying women that you don't know but desire should want you to desire them" I needed to read this to step out of my box and see it from the woman's point of view. However, if I find someone attractive am I meant to hide it??

[gettoefl]

11 hours ago, Tenebroso said:

So our desires as males are wrong and unwanted. It feels like women regard male desire as a burden.

The feminine caters to the masculine needs while expecting that he will cater to her needs

It's not burdensome; it's fulfilment, genetics and destiny

Both have to step up their game and understand it's all a game

[Princess Arabia]

10 hours ago, Tenebroso said:

I was responding to Javfly33's video but I think you are right.

"Or are you saying women that you don't know but desire should want you to desire them" I needed to read this to step out of my box and see it from the woman's point of view. However, if I find someone attractive am I meant to hide it??

I think javflys video confused you even more. Plus you're asking general questions. Find attractive who you already know, or just met. All of this all depends on the circumstance. If you're attracted to the female walking down the street, say hi and see how she responds, strike up a convo and see where it goes. I mean thats normal stuff. I think where all this confusion lies is that most men just think women are going around just wanting to feel desired by any man. They think we're doing stuff like make up, hair, certain clothes, etc for them all the time and it's their duty to acknowledge that. No, we're women that's what women do.