If a girl sits on the opposite couch ?

[AION]

So I invited this girl at my place and she sat on the one person couch instead of the three person couch. 

I know girls aren’t stupid and they know what they are doing. For some reason I felt insulted about this and I didn’t even make a move. 

I know this girl from a friend group so I didn’t want to make an effort is she is making anti-effort. If it was a random girl I would just ask her to sit next to me. 

Do you think I fucked up? Because I didn’t make a move. I was stuck in my head about her sitting not next to me and after couple of hours I thought it would be too awkward to just pull her towards me and make out. 

[Spiritual Warfare]

She doesn’t want you to fall in love with her too quickly, she wants to understand what you’re about and see your insecurities.

[Leo Gura]

It's just typical girl tests and games. What you do is invent an excuse to move her. You play some music, you stand her up to dance, then you sit her back down where you want her.

Edited October 17 by Leo Gura

[Hojo]

@AION the girls can tell you are upset with them and this will scare them away. You ruined your chances of her sitting on your couch by getting upset about nothing. When you get upset you send waves of emotion to reality and reality reciprocates. Don't get upset over made up stories and something good might happen.

Edited October 17 by Hojo

[Buck Edwards]

Maybe she wants to test you. Like she wants to see your next move. 

Girls test guys subconsciously to see the level of interest or how funky you are. Girls don't like if you take things too seriously. They want you to play around and act humorous and give a jokey reply. They are basically giving hints that you should initiate flirting. And if you don't respond to their hinting, they get bored quickly. They see it as "not so interesting." 

So just flirt a bit. She doesn't need to be seated next to you for you to flirt. 

Women are a lot about emotions. We like banter. We don't like quick sexual or physical escalation. 

The biggest thought going through a woman's mind while going to a first date is "I don't wanna date a fuck boy" this is actually our biggest fear. Our bodies get tensed up if we detect the fuckboy vibe and no woman wants to fall for that trap. So we test for signs on the first date and right away we try to smell the fuckboy vibe. Quick sexual escalation (if she is not into casual sex) on the first date might backfire badly and she might not appreciate it. 

So if it's a first date, keep it light and flirt a bit. And give her space and don't make too many assumptions. 

Also @Hojo is right. We tend to detect moods and vibes from a man. It's like our sixth sense. If we think you're upset, we will catch that and reflect it back to you. A woman more than anything likes a happy man. Any negative vibe from a man drives us away. So focus on the vibe you create on your dates, it will play a big role in how you are perceived. 

Edited October 17 by Buck Edwards

[AION]

4 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

It's just typical girl tests and games. What you do is invent an excuse to move her. You play some music, you stand her up to dance, then you sit her back down where you want her.

Yea I waited too long to send the tone of the night. And after couple of hours it was too late to make the switch from platonic flirting to hands on flirting. 
 

 

[Leo Gura]

1 minute ago, AION said:

Yea I waited too long to send the tone of the night. And after couple of hours it was too late to make the switch from platonic flirting to hands on flirting. 

It's never too late to play a dancy song.

Edited October 17 by Leo Gura

[AION]

2 hours ago, Hojo said:

@AION the girls can tell you are upset with them and this will scare them away. You ruined your chances of her sitting on your couch by getting upset about nothing. When you get upset you send waves of emotion to reality and reality reciprocates. Don't get upset over made up stories and something good might happen.

I did get upset and disappointed. And I think I subconsciously communicated I didn’t want to see her again. Because she said she wanted to meet up next week again and I said I didn’t know about that. I don’t like the fake my emotions. That is just how I felt and I’m ok with the sub communication.  

 

1 hour ago, Buck Edwards said:

Maybe she wants to test you. Like she wants to see your next move. 

Girls test guys subconsciously to see the level of interest or how funky you are. Girls don't like if you take things too seriously. They want you to play around and act humorous and give a jokey reply. They are basically giving hints that you should initiate flirting. And if you don't respond to their hinting, they get bored quickly. They see it as "not so interesting." 

So just flirt a bit. She doesn't need to be seated next to you for you to flirt. 

Women are a lot about emotions. We like banter. We don't like quick sexual or physical escalation. 

The biggest thought going through a woman's mind while going to a first date is "I don't wanna date a fuck boy" this is actually our biggest fear. Our bodies get tensed up if we detect the fuckboy vibe and no woman wants to fall for that trap. So we test for signs on the first date and right away we try to smell the fuckboy vibe. Quick sexual escalation (if she is not into casual sex) on the first date might backfire badly and she might not appreciate it. 

So if it's a first date, keep it light and flirt a bit. And give her space and don't make too many assumptions. 

Also @Hojo is right. We tend to detect moods and vibes from a man. It's like our sixth sense. If we think you're upset, we will catch that and reflect it back to you. A woman more than anything likes a happy man. Any negative vibe from a man drives us away. So focus on the vibe you create on your dates, it will play a big role in how you are perceived. 

I’m clearly not a fuck boy. I’m not smooth about it. 

[Buck Edwards]

1 minute ago, AION said:

I’m clearly not a fuck boy. I’m not smooth about it. 

You can always polish your flirting skills. Even I can't flirt with a guy smoothly. It's a social skill that comes with consistency. 

[AION]

1 minute ago, Leo Gura said:

It's never too late to play a dancy song.

Hm ok. Good to know for next time. There was good dancing music on and the vibe was good. I just had to do the leading. 

 

2 minutes ago, Buck Edwards said:

You can always polish your flirting skills. Even I can't flirt with a guy smoothly. It's a social skill that comes with consistency. 

There was enough flirting, playful banter and teasing.

I just get hung up when girls sit on the god damned single person couch instead sitting next to me on the three person couch. 

For me the most important thing out this is not to get upset but to keep playing the game playfully. This time I think I was ok with hiding it but with previous girl last month I was kind of obnoxious about it. 

[Hojo]

20 minutes ago, AION said:

I did get upset and disappointed. And I think I subconsciously communicated I didn’t want to see her again. Because she said she wanted to meet up next week again and I said I didn’t know about that. I don’t like the fake my emotions. That is just how I felt and I’m ok with the sub communication.  

 

I’m clearly not a fuck boy. I’m not smooth about it. 

So you don't want to make out with her you want to be alone.

Edited October 17 by Hojo

[AION]

8 minutes ago, Hojo said:

So you don't want to make out with her you want to be alone.

I wanted to make out. It is just that if I get disappointed I don’t want it anymore. I think there is some underlying hurt from previous rejections. The thing is that she didn’t even reject me. I just fumbled. I could have told to just sit next to me straight up or with an excuse to show something on my phone but I thought that was cheesy so I didn’t do it. 

Edited October 17 by AION

[Hojo]

@AION That's not how you fumbled you fumbled by getting angry and then saying you don't want to hang out again. That's self sabotage. You got upset for no reason and rejected her.

Edited October 17 by Hojo

[Spiritual Warfare]

3 hours ago, AION said:

I wanted to make out. It is just that if I get disappointed I don’t want it anymore. I think there is some underlying hurt from previous rejections. The thing is that she didn’t even reject me. I just fumbled. I could have told to just sit next to me straight up or with an excuse to show something on my phone but I thought that was cheesy so I didn’t do it. 

You’re so uncertain. You tend to see everything in a negative light because of your past experiences. You need to let go of the past. I know it’s hard, but you’ll never be charming if you’re constantly focused on the bad things. Girls can pick up on that energy more easily than you think. It’s more obvious than you realize. Never start spending time with a girl if you can’t let go of the past because it will make the whole situation awkward. Be confident in the moment when you’re with her. Then when you’re alone, you can think about all the things that have happened to you, but never when you’re with her. You’ve got this.

[AION]

2 hours ago, Spiritual Warfare said:

You’re so uncertain. You tend to see everything in a negative light because of your past experiences. You need to let go of the past. I know it’s hard, but you’ll never be charming if you’re constantly focused on the bad things. Girls can pick up on that energy more easily than you think. It’s more obvious than you realize. Never start spending time with a girl if you can’t let go of the past because it will make the whole situation awkward. Be confident in the moment when you’re with her. Then when you’re alone, you can think about all the things that have happened to you, but never when you’re with her. You’ve got this.

True, it all starts from inner game. I guess this was another experience to know myself and learn from myself. The thing is I should have learned this lesson 2 girls ago but I'm still making the same mistakes. 🤷‍♂️

[Alex4]

This reminded me of my first date with my current girlfriend. We went to a bar with music playing, I suggested we sit on a couch and she sat far enough away to prevent me from initiating contact. I spent the rest of the time in the bar thinking I had screwed up, since up to that point the night had been great. When we left the bar that same night we kissed. I think she just didn't want to make it too easy. It might be the same in your case. 

[Spiritual Warfare]

35 minutes ago, AION said:

True, it all starts from inner game. I guess this was another experience to know myself and learn from myself. The thing is I should have learned this lesson 2 girls ago but I'm still making the same mistakes. 🤷‍♂️

This is not an easy thing, especially if you truly loved the girl and did not see her as an object or a boost for your ego. However, do not feel worthless because you still cannot let this go. It may take months, if not years.

[r0ckyreed]

Ever thought that a girl might want to make out with you, but was nervous to make that first move? This is women 101. They rarely ever make the first move. She won’t just sit on the couch right next to you on the get go. This was her way of making herself feel comfortable. I would have done the same thing if I was her. And it doesn’t matter if you are Brad Pitt. You have to consider that women might have sexual trauma that might make them slower to engage in intimacy. But that doesn’t mean that they don’t want it.

Edited October 17 by r0ckyreed

[Keryo Koffa]

This thread needs Jesus, I mean @NoSelfSelf

[NoSelfSelf]

16 minutes ago, Keryo Koffa said:

This thread needs Jesus, I mean @NoSelfSelf

You mean you need a miracle to happen 😄