Anyone Has Had An Epiphany?

[abrakamowse]

This was weird, I had an Epiphany some time ago. I think it was all done by my mind, not a really "true" epiphany because at that moment I was beginning to became aware, but I felt that meditation wasn't working as I expected and I quit everything and I began to look for enlightenment (unconsciously) on traditional religion, in a non-denominational Christian church. I know it sounds crazy but at that moment I needed that, and believe or not, it was through this that I accepted we have no free will and I understood things about the Bible that I didn't know well at that moment. 

But the thing was that I was very confused, a big crisis in my life. I felt like nothing made sense, I felt like lost and I was going through life really in a chaos. So I was like looking to have some kind of sign that I was "saved" etc... I was under so much pressure at work, I was living my life accelerated and in disorder, very chaotic.

And when I was at the subway, going to my work. I began to feel something not natural, I felt like a great love in my heart in a way I never felt before. It was like I loved everyone there on the train, i really never felt something like that before.

Then I got off the train, I have to take another train to go to work, so I went into the second train. I was still shocked about what I felt. And when I was arriving to my train station, I began to see everything like different. I looked at the people and I saw something that I can't explain with words. I saw that everyone are connected, and that everything I do affects everyone. 

There was like a kind of light that went through everyone connecting everyone, that's not the proper description of what I saw but it was something like that. I knew that everyone was connected. Then I looked at my hands and I saw my skin like a bit transparent and I saw like light running inside, but it was like water really.

It made me remember at that moment what Jesus said, that we will see rivers of living water. That's what it came to my mind at that moment.

"Whoever believes in me, as Scripture has said, rivers of living water will flow from within them." John 7:38

And everything looked more alive to me, I remember thinking "I was dead, now I'm alive".
It was a difference between how I saw the world before and at that moment, I saw everything more clearly, like if what I was seeing was foggy or blurry and now I saw everything more clearly defined.

Then I went out of the train, and the station is a bit high, the train goes on top of everything on that part. So I saw the city, and when I saw the sky it was like the sky was alive. Like if God was there and I felt the earth like breathing. 

I remember me thinking, "oh my god, the whole earth is a living thing". I felt like to fall on my knees and adoring everything, god, nature, earth, life. I didn't do it because everybody would think I was crazy. But I was really close to do that hehehehe...

Then I told some of my closes friend about it, that made me believe more in Jesus but in a dogmatic way. So, I began to go to church after that, not a good idea but that was what happened.

I had to pass to all that experience (going to church, etc)  to understand what Jesus was really saying, and that's not taught on churches, pitifully.

But I will write about that on a different post someday.

Let me know what you think, I'm not sure if it was delusional or if there's some truth on that Epiphany I had.

Edited February 15, 2016 by abrakamowse
grammar

[Trisha]

I have never experienced that before but I have read and heard about other people having similar experiences. Also I have read about people who have had those types of experiences while using psychedelics. I have never tried psychedelics myself. Some say they help in the enlightenment process others say that they hinder the process. 

 

[abrakamowse]

Thanks @Trisha for the comments, in my case I never used drugs but I know some people says it can help the process. I think it's better to stay away from them.

 

Thanks for your comments!

[Emerald]

@Trisha @abrakamowse I had two experiences similar to what you described; simultaneously giving and receiving unconditional love and a deep connection to al that is. Mine were induced through drinking a tea often used in shamanic vision quest rituals. Even though the experiences were the most beautiful experiences of my life bar none, I recommend seeking these experiences without the aid of psychedelics or entheogens. The heightened awareness ended as the influence of the tea subsided, leaving me with the memory of insights translated into a lower level of consciousness. I made some very unwise decisions in my life after that happened by trying to abstractly apply those insights. 

[abrakamowse]

Thanks @Emerald Wilkins, although I arrived to those experiences without the help of any drink or any other thing anyway I feel that I forced my mind to have that experience.

And you really helped me realizing I did the same mistake as you said, I made unwise decisions in my life because of that too. I will post something about it in another post.

Thanks!!!

Edited February 15, 2016 by abrakamowse
grammar

[Emerald]

1 minute ago, abrakamowse said:

Thanks @Emerald Wilkins, although I arrived to those experiences without the help of any drink or any other thing anyway I feel that I forced my mind to have that experience.

And you really helped me realizing I did the same mistake as you said, I made unwise decisions in my life because of that too. I will post something about it in another post.

Thanks!!!

Thank you for writing this. I had always assumed the artificial induction of the experience was the sole cause of the re-constriction of consciousness and the foolish assumptions that came up afterward. It gives me a bit more to think about.

[abrakamowse]

@Emerald Wilkins  after that experience I think that I understood that we don't have to force anything. In the beginning I thought that I had to search inside me but I was looking to have some external experience or vision to support my belief.

It was just now that I understood that is not searching for anything, it's just becoming more aware of your surroundings and observing reality, not having weird psychedelic experiences. 

I think we are helping each other with this conversation hehehe... cool. That's what is all this about.

[Emerald]

8 minutes ago, abrakamowse said:

@Emerald Wilkins  after that experience I think that I understood that we don't have to force anything. In the beginning I thought that I had to search inside me but I was looking to have some external experience or vision to support my belief.

It was just now that I understood that is not searching for anything, it's just becoming more aware of your surroundings and observing reality, not having weird psychedelic experiences. 

I think we are helping each other with this conversation hehehe... cool. That's what is all this about.

I went through all kind of abstract explanations and ideas over the past six years, since those experiences, trying to replicate them again in a natural way. It's not to say that I didn't derive a lot of value from my contemplation and research. Much of it has really helped me get my mind right and understand my experiences. But my seeking has, in many ways, served as a distraction from the surrender and stillness necessary for the experience. This has been the recurring theme of my past couple days, with many synchronicities (including our conversation) pointing me away from seeking and postulating and toward the mundane experience that I have resistance to. This conversation has been very helpful to me.  Thank you.

[abrakamowse]

Really helpful for me too @Emerald Wilkins  , thank YOU!  

[A way to Actualize]

Great you share this. 

[abrakamowse]

I hope it's something helpful for all, on our way to being enlightened.

:-)

[Avi]

@abrakamowse Indeed.