Panic Attack During Meditation

[Scholar]

I've had an interesting thing happen to me today. After having stabilized my health in the past week (after months of issues) I decided to finally start meditating again. I took a break from it for quite a while because I wasn't able to achieve any meditative state at all when I tried.

 

But the very first session of meditation 3 days was a depth of awareness and stillness I haven't experienced before. It was a 20 minute session, and i decided to simply remain in that meditative state while going about my business. And it worked, I am basically able to constantly remain in this meditative state now, albeit not as deeply as during meditation.

The state makes every activity I do feel effortless and automatic. Right now I barely feel like I am writing this post, it is writing itself.

 

So I have been meditating multiple times a day to reimmerse myself in the depth of the state again, and today when I decided to do a 1h meditation session, I went to such a depth that I entered a sort of panicked state, a fear of losing my mind or changing my reality permanently. My heart began to beat incredibly fast and I remember the accompaning existential fear from my first LSD trip that was more or less a year ago.

After the LSD trip, I would get this kind of fear even when I would take smaller doses of shrooms or LSD, as if it was some sort of PTSD reaction.

During my meditation setting I was able to dissolve the fear and panic, but it was surprising how intense it was. It basically prevented me from going deeper into the meditative state.

 

I never had emotional things come up randomly during my meditation sittings, and I have been meditating for quite a long time. Now I wonder if I simply triggered a PTSD response or whether or not I was getting close to derealization/depersonalization.

[Hojo]

Fear of death. We dissasosiate from God cause someone said we would die and we beleived it. You need to go back the way you came in. The fear comes when you pin point yourself.

Edited October 12 by Hojo

[Javfly33]

1 minute ago, Hojo said:

Fear of death

Or of God 😉

[Scholar]

1 minute ago, Hojo said:

Fear of death. We dissasosiate from God cause someone said we would die and we beleived it. You need to go back the way you came in.

To me the fear is very much associated with things I know about Derealization/Depersonalization/Dark Night of the Soul.

 I immediately have thoughts of getting stuck in that state like some people do, and just suffering and being unable to competely dissolve the ego.

[Hojo]

@Scholar thats what death is you can stuck into one position. Frozen in time in the void.

The ego says nooooo let me move! And will panic. But its not you panicking.

Edited October 12 by Hojo

[Salvijus]

Congrats.

The system will adjust by itself in a few days or weeks.

Edited October 12 by Salvijus

[Scholar]

I'm still in this state. It's a bit annoying in some ways because it's harder to be creative. It almost feels like Anhedonia, how I felt after I took LSD.

 

Time passes very slowly, I am completely immersed in the moment, but there is little motivation inside me to actually do anything.

 

It feels a little bit like I am in the backseat of experience, watching everything neutrally. And I also have like, 1 thought per 30 seconds, my mind is incredibly still.

[ChrisZoZo]

I didn’t read everything there, cause I can be bothered. But I will say that panic attacks while meditating can often be a clearing of the old system. And making a new better you.

Make sure you make a determination between the stuff that’s from the upgrade process and between what is from the current source of the panic attacks.

It’s very likely meditation is the right thing for you and the very unlikely chance that they could not be the right thing for you. Be so sure in yourself that is absolutely no way that the mind is just tricking you to not meditating. If you going to drop it.