Are your social comfort-levels your responsibility?

[Ulax]

1 minute ago, mr_engineer said:

To figure out when a woman should call the cops vs when it's uncalled for. 

Okay i see. I would agree that those two things may form part of the solution. But not the full solution.

Human beings don't have free will, so you have to guide their decisions to what you want. If you want women to call the cops in the desired situation you have to guide women to do so. If they don't call it is because not calling meets certain needs in a way that calling does not. So, you must think about how you can make it such that making the call meets their needs better. For example, promoting a better perception of female safety after contacting police.

[Princess Arabia]

Same ole story. That energy needs to be reprogrammed; it's stuck and just going around and around in the same cycle. Then it comes here to release some 'cause it gets too much. You'll disappear for a minute again and reappear with another version of the same ole story. You're rotting in your own slime. When will you refresh and breathe in some new air and grace us with something refreshing. Then you had to dig up an old post. Every moment is a new moment. 

 

Edited October 11 by Princess Arabia

[Ulax]

5 minutes ago, mr_engineer said:

@Ulax @Buck Edwards Fine. Would you be okay if he gets tired of harassing you and moves onto harassing someone else? 

Citizens have as much of a responsibility to create a civilized society as the government systems. This is bigger than one man harassing one woman. 

My most recent reply also applies to this. Humans do not have free will, so you have to guide their decisions. You guide this through government systems. So, government systems have total responsibility.

Edited October 11 by Ulax

[mr_engineer]

@Ulax Oh come on. If she just talked to her friends, showed them the messages and took a couple of them to the police station to file a complaint, there would be no repercussions. 

Police would have to do something if there were evidence. 

Edited October 11 by mr_engineer

[mr_engineer]

10 minutes ago, Princess Arabia said:

Same ole story. That energy needs to be reprogrammed; it's stuck and just going around and around in the same cycle. Then it comes here to release some 'cause it gets too much. You'll disappear for a minute again and reappear with another version of the same ole story. You're rotting in your own slime. When will you refresh and breathe in some new air and grace us with something refreshing. Then you had to dig up an old post. Every moment is a new moment. 

 

I don't know what you're projecting. 

[Ulax]

4 minutes ago, mr_engineer said:

@Ulax Oh come on. If she just talked to her friends, showed them the messages and took a couple of them to the police station to file a complaint, there would be no repercussions. 

Police would have to do something if there were evidence. 

I don't understand what point you are making in relation to my previous comment

[mr_engineer]

10 minutes ago, Ulax said:

I don't understand what point you are making in relation to my previous comment

@Ulax Therr are no risks in calling the cops if you have social support. It's an easily solvable problem. 

In order to get the confidence to do this, though, you have to know your rights. That's how you trust that the police will take action. 

Edited October 11 by mr_engineer

[Ulax]

10 minutes ago, mr_engineer said:

@Ulax Therr are no risks in calling the cops if you have social support. It's an easily solvable problem. 

I think its pretty obvious that there are risks even if you have social support.

[mr_engineer]

3 minutes ago, Marcel said:

Do you know how badly that can backfire on a women? Or on anyone for that matter?

You assume that that’s enough to make someone stop and it certainly can, but it wouldn’t be the first time, that threatening to call the cops on someone just escalates a situation even more.

Then actually call the cops! Duh. 

Always be willing to fight for your rights. 

Edited October 11 by mr_engineer

[mr_engineer]

3 minutes ago, Marcel said:

In what world do you live in?

What if the person in question starts getting violent, before you can even call the cops?

You haven’t thought this through quite well.

 

Then first run to a more populated area and if he follows you there, loudly threaten to call the cops there. If you can't because he's physically attacking you, someone else will. 

All of this is textbook self-defence for women. It's not that hard, everyone's on your side. 

Edited October 11 by mr_engineer

[mr_engineer]

1 minute ago, Ulax said:

lmao come on dude

What, it doesn't work?! 

[Princess Arabia]

32 minutes ago, mr_engineer said:

I don't know what you're projecting. 

Just an observation. You haven't posted in awhile and I know you're capable of new insights and fresh outlook on life; but you insist on eating stale bread. All you did was change the title. 

Edited October 11 by Princess Arabia

[mr_engineer]

2 minutes ago, Marcel said:

You’re assuming you can outrun them.

You’re assuming a whole lot of stuff about situations like this. 

This all sounds well and good in theory. In practice you might enter a freeze response. 

What then?

 

It's very easy to nitpick imperfections in someone else's solution. 

You got a better idea?! 

To answer your question, this is why you do trauma-work with a therapist beforehand, so that you don't enter a freeze. And this is why you work on your fitness, so that you can run! I guess personal safety is worth all the efforts. 

Edited October 11 by mr_engineer

[Buck Edwards]

3 minutes ago, mr_engineer said:

Then first run to a more populated area and if he follows you there, loudly threaten to call the cops there. If you can't because he's physically attacking you, someone else will. 

All of this is textbook self-defence for women. It's not that hard, everyone's on your side. 

Thats why a million women get raped every year. Because someone is always there to call cops or defend them. You make no sense. At least take a look at statistics of gender violence. 

I have no idea how you make light of such a situation. 

[Ulax]

1 minute ago, mr_engineer said:

What, it doesn't work?! 

I rethought your idea and changed my mind. So deleted my comment.

[mr_engineer]

4 minutes ago, Buck Edwards said:

Thats why a million women get raped every year. Because someone is always there to call cops or defend them. You make no sense. At least take a look at statistics of gender violence. 

I have no idea how you make light of such a situation. 

I'm not disagreeing with the stats. My question to you is - what's your solution?! 

[Buck Edwards]

13 minutes ago, mr_engineer said:

I'm not disagreeing with the stats. My question to you is - what's your solution?! 

Like I said collective rise in consciousness. Crime has no solution. Once the harm is done, it's done. If men are taught to be more empathetic and conscious of women, they may not harm them. The problem is a lot of men aren't raised well or don't have a good father figure. And society has no good male role models. So a lot of men can't control their own emotions and take out their frustrations on society. They blame women or bear a strong hatred towards women and victimize them to feel powerful. It's toxic masculinity 101.

If men are raised well where the man role model exemplifies respect and compassion for women instead of looking at them as "piece of meat" then maybe the rate of rapes can decline. 

Recently a research showed that the rise in violent and abusive porn is also responsible for molding some men to get radicalized and violent towards women. In a lot of rapes, men used porn clips to make the victim perform those acts for them. So violent porn plays a role. 

Also sexual frustration. It's not fully valid to assume that sexual frustration in men is directly linked to rape. But in countries where men are more sexually frustrated, there are more rapes. So maybe men having a stable sexual relationship with their girlfriends or getting a girlfriend can probably make them less aggressive. However this is debatable. 

At the end of the day, a highly conscious man will not rape or harm a woman. He is in control of his own masculinity. I guess it's tough to be a man with all those hormones raging in you. It needs an outlet. Sexual dissatisfaction in men sadly can be quite high. Healthy porn might reduce it if it's not turned into an addiction. 

Also men who are friends with women, have a stable bond with their mothers and usually enjoy the company of women tend to sympathize a little more with women. 

So it's a collection of factors. 

There is no perfect solution. I just offered a few insights.

Edited October 11 by Buck Edwards

[Buck Edwards]

Also there is no solution to male sexual frustration just as there is no solution for a woman's desire of a perfect man. 

There's only acceptance and compromise. 

Edited October 11 by Buck Edwards

[mr_engineer]

@Marcel No, I said run first, then when you reach a crowded area, loudly threaten to call the cops. 

[mr_engineer]

11 minutes ago, Marcel said:

Yes I know. 

That assumes you can outrun the person in question 

Can you see how that’s not always possible

If it's not possible, you're pretty much toast anyways, right?! 

I still wouldn't advise someone in that situation to give up.