Guys! Most Of Your Beliefs About Women Are False

[Princess Arabia]

Since being on this forum, I too have realized that some of my beliefs about men are false, so it's not just you. I used to believe that (and when I speak i'm speaking in general and it doesn't apply to all), that most men have no problems in finding a woman. Quality relationships isn't the theme here, just finding a woman, period. So many men were out there approaching women and speaking to women and cat-calling women, etc, that I used to think how lucky they were that they have their pick, while us ladies have to wait in line for a man to approach and even then, the right one. Yes, we get approached a lot, especially attractive women, but also not-so-attractive. Just women in general. Very rare women approach men in this way because we're not expected to and it's a societal taboo standard. It's not lady-like and seems desperate (that's how it's looked at and not necessarily the case).

Anyway, I see so many comments on here saying how women have it easy. No we don't. Many men are looking, and some are saying hi and approaching, but women generally don't just jump at every approach. Guys who don't understand that we have to be more protective, are more feeling based and are attracted to a guy's personality more need to understand this. It's not that we're more picky, it's that attraction for us is different, period, end of story and I don't need to explain this in detail just trust me on this. That's another topic.

We're also not having sex up the roof because we can find a man easily. Yes, I can go down the street and get laid easily if I want to in 5mins. Just do my hair and wear something sexy and offer it up for free. In no time, I'll find someone if i smile at every guy and wave at every tooting horn. What woman does that generally. How easy do you think I'd find a man who actually tickles my fancy in 5mins let alone willing to have sex. I have to wait and wait and wait if I want to feel something for him first. In my 20's and partying days, I still needed to feel something but it isn't the same kind of feeling as it is now. Now it's more meaningful and deeper even if it's a one-time thing. So don't think we have to lay up only if it's relationship worthy. Personally, one-night stands aren't for me, but lots of women don't mind.

Women's standards change by the decades, What we liked in our 20's is not the same as in our 30's, 40's and up. It's not a matter of pickier but what we find attractive in a man. Doesn't matter what that is. Getting approached means nothing to honor that and doesn't mean we're having it easier, especially for the ones who don't like to settle. Men are also looking for a type and will not date if she's not that. The problem with this, in that regard, we have to put in time and energy before we realize he's not because it's not based on physical attraction alone; for men, all needs to be done is a glance and a look and bam, that's my type. Later on, is when the realization sets in that she's not, even though her looks were.

So, to wrap up, we're not having it much easier. In fact, it's a bit more complicated and time and energy consuming for us. I always used to say to myself, if I was a guy, I'd be having and enjoying so much sex because it seems so easy for them to just be attracted to looks and looks are everywhere. Tits and ass and sexy women are everywhere. I wish I could just be attracted to some muscles and mustache and just want to have sex from just that. Seriously, I used to say how I wish I didn't need more that the physicality of a man. Well, I do, and so many women do. That takes time and effort except for if you're out partying, drunk or just wanting to go loose and live it up sexually and don't really care about anything else and even then, it's not that simple as she has to look out for predators, creeps and dangerous men. 

We're not having it easy, guys; it's a challenge on both sides and there are a lot of misunderstandings that gets in the way because we are so wrong about what's the case and it usually only stems from our own personal false beliefs and not what is actually the case. Attractive women are being looked at but sometimes not being approached for fear of rejection on the man's part or from the assumption that she already has a man. So, they're also having challenges in this department or from guys who just want their bodies and nothing more.

 

Edited October 7 by Princess Arabia

[NoSelfSelf]

Virtually nobody has game,so yeah its tough for you knowing 9.9/10 you gonna run into the same guy different body.You are seeking for the original, the one who is standing out of the crowd not conforming, almost like he's out of place. Lets not lie to ourselves, you want to be seen more than just a body, but you are seen as just that, its tiring that you are just not being seen and you can say he sees me i see him.To see you one must see through you (im practicing my poetry here 😄)

 

[Princess Arabia]

12 minutes ago, NoSelfSelf said:

.You are seeking for the original, the one who is standing out of the crowd not conforming,

No, I'm looking for compatibility. One that complements my character. I don't need an original or one that stands out from the crowd. Even this right here shows how we're being misunderstood. I'm not doing a model search where they need to stand out from the crowd. Standing out from the crowd means you've already assessed the crowd to not be your type and he needs to stand out from the rest. Nothing in my post suggests that most guys just aren't my type. What I'm saying is, we have to do more than just look at a body to know this and it takes time and energy to realize if he is or not.

Please don't project your existing beliefs unto what I'm trying to portray here and try to read and understand what I am saying VS what you think I'm trying to say. My post is pretty lengthy for this reason, so I could make myself clear on my position, plus I don't need a guy to have game.

 

Edited October 7 by Princess Arabia

[NoSelfSelf]

3 minutes ago, Princess Arabia said:

No, I'm looking for compatibility. One that complements my character. I don't need an original or one that stands out from the crowd. Even this right here shows how we're being misunderstood. I'm not doing a model search where they need to stand out from the crowd. Standing out from the crowd means you've already assessed the crowd to not be your type and he needs to stand out from the rest. Nothing in my post suggests that most guys just aren't my type. What I'm saying is, we have to do more than just look at a body to know this and it takes time and energy to realize if he is or not.

Please don't project your existing beliefs unto what I'm trying to portray here and try to read and understand what I am saying VS what you think I'm trying to say. My post is pretty lengthy for this reason, so I could make myself clear on my position. 

 

Well the one who is an original,has depth of the mind that looks beyond the body and stares at your souls.Intrigues you and then you wonder, where he has been and precisely because he's standing out of the crowd is the one who sees he is the one who you are looking for.

You underestimate the depth of my understanding in this because you dont know me and you cant see me.

[Lucasxp64]

I personally realized how difficult it must be for a woman I might meet walking on the street to even give me basic trust, that I don't want to do her harm. That's what I hear a lot from women online, they are concerned for their safety, and a lot of them will just be with their guard up most of the time and only date through their circle of friends/classmates. But I'm suspicious that's because most cold approaches that happen to them are uncalibrated guys that are incapable of even displaying trustworthiness, being emotionally comforting and breaking off the stranger's frame, and trigger in her feelings of rapport/trust.

Edited October 7 by Lucasxp64

[NoSelfSelf]

4 minutes ago, Lucasxp64 said:

I personally realized how difficult it must be for a woman I might meet walking on the street to even give me basic trust, that I don't want to do her harm. That's what I hear a lot from women online, they are concerned for their safety, and a lot of them will just be with their guard up most of the time and only date through their circle of friends/classmates.

You dont want her to trust you,you want her to not trust you,to give her free will to see that you are not judgmental that you are not looking to get into her pants and you good to go.

Edited October 7 by NoSelfSelf

[Princess Arabia]

Just now, NoSelfSelf said:

Well the one who is an original,has depth of the mind that looks beyond the body and stares at your souls.Intrigues you and then you wonder, where he has been and precisely because he's standing out of the crowd is the one who sees he is the one who you are looking for.

You underestimate the depth of my understanding in this because you dont know me and you cant see me.

You're telling me about the one who is original. I'm not looking for an original man. I'm not even looking for one that looks beyond the body because I want him to be sexually attracted to me, just sees it as an accompaniment, not separate than - meaning, " oh, and her personality is great too". Not that, sees the whole package.

I also don't need for a man to intrigue me. I'm not looking to adore or be "wowed" and to idolize. You are still projecting your beliefs unto what you think I want or desire in a man.  Nothing in my post suggested any particular trait or what it is I'm looking for. All I did was expressed how it's not easy for us sometimes and that us ladies are also finding it challenging. You keep telling me what I want in a man and telling me how I don't know you and misunderstand you, when it seems to be the other way around. Please read my post again, to see how this is not about what I'm looking for in a man but that we are also having trouble be cause of how we date.

[NoSelfSelf]

1 minute ago, Princess Arabia said:

You're telling me about the one who is original. I'm not looking for an original man. I'm not even looking for one that looks beyond the body because I want him to be sexually attracted to me, just sees it as an accompaniment, not separate than - meaning, " oh, and her personality is great too". Not that, sees the whole package.

I also don't need for a man to intrigue me. I'm not looking to adore or be "wowed" and to idolize. You are still projecting your beliefs unto what you think I want or desire in a man.  Nothing in my post suggested any particular trait or what it is I'm looking for. All I did was expressed how it's not easy for us sometimes and that us ladies are also finding it challenging. You keep telling me what I want in a man and telling me how I don't know you and misunderstand you, when it seems to be the other way around. Please read my post again, to see how this is not about what I'm looking for in a man but that we are also having trouble be cause of how we date.

I dont look at this at surface level so im not gonna look it that way,im telling you things beyond what's being said.That being said its good to end discussion right here,since i dont even care what you want and how tough its for you to be honest.

[Princess Arabia]

9 minutes ago, Lucasxp64 said:

I personally realized how difficult it must be for a woman I might meet walking on the street to even give me basic trust, that I don't want to do her harm. That's what I hear a lot from women online, they are concerned for their safety, and a lot of them will just be with their guard up most of the time and only date through their circle of friends/classmates. But I'm suspicious that's because most cold approaches that happen to them are uncalibrated guys that are incapable of even displaying trustworthiness, being emotionally comforting and breaking off the stranger's frame, and trigger in her feelings of rapport/trust.

Thank you for this. I didn't stress on the safety issue because I didn't want this to be about fear and distrust. It is a major concern, though, and most times, especially if it's on the street us ladies have to be cautious of who we even smile at or say hi to. Most guys don't think about this because they really don't have this problem as much except to be drugged and robbed and that's not very common and usually in high-risk circumstances.

 

 

[Princess Arabia]

7 minutes ago, NoSelfSelf said:

I dont look at this at surface level so im not gonna look it that way,im telling you things beyond what's being said.That being said its good to end discussion right here,since i dont even care what you want and how tough its for you to be honest.

You have made this post about you. Cheers.

[NoSelfSelf]

2 minutes ago, Princess Arabia said:

You have made this post about you. Cheers.

I make everything about me 😎

[Princess Arabia]

16 minutes ago, Princess Arabia said:

i dont even care what you want and how tough its for you to be honest.

This is part of the problem right here why so many men are struggling with women. RIGHT HERE. They'll pretend, but women can sense these pretenses. You are not alone in feeling this way, and even though I'm giving you slack because I think you have strayed away from my point, never mind that, you have hit the nail on the head with this comment. At least you are being straight up and honest about it. Most women have sensed this and is one of the reasons they are fighting back and only going towards men of means and status because it's not worth the hassle and bustle of dealing with low stats men who don't care about their feelings and what it is they want and desire. Most men, of low caliber are usually out for just themselves while wanting a lot from their partners. This is a whole other topic.

@NoSelfSelfthis says Princess Arabia said, but I was quoting you.

 

Edited October 7 by Princess Arabia

[NoSelfSelf]

12 minutes ago, Princess Arabia said:

This is part of the problem right here why so many men are struggling with women. RIGHT HERE. They'll pretend, but women can sense these pretenses. You are not alone in feeling this way, and even though I'm giving you slack because I think you have strayed away from my point, never mind that, you have hit the nail on the head with this comment. At least you are being straight up and honest about it. Most women have sensed this and is one of the reasons they are fighting back and only going towards men of means and status because it's not worth the hassle and bustle of dealing with low stats men who don't care about their feelings and what it is they want and desire. Most men, of low caliber are usually out for just themselves while wanting a lot from their partners. This is a whole other topic.

 

 

There is nothing you did to prove yourself why should i care ,that's the point you can look great doesnt mean nothing to me ,sexy is what sexy does only one who knows knows ;)..

[Princess Arabia]

2 minutes ago, NoSelfSelf said:

There is nothing you did to prove yourself why should i care ,that's the point you can look great doesnt mean nothing to me ,sexy is what sexy does only one who knows knows ;)..

My point though is not about looking good but caring for caring sake. People shouldn't have to prove their worthiness to be shown some type of caring. A man doesn't have to prove himself to me for me to care about his challenges in life. I'm on a forum having a discussion, I don't need for you to prove to me why I should care about what you're going through in life and if I can be of assistance - in the dating world or not. 

[NoSelfSelf]

1 minute ago, Princess Arabia said:

My point though is not about looking good but caring for caring sake. People shouldn't have to prove their worthiness to be shown some type of caring. A man doesn't have to prove himself to me for me to care about his challenges in life. I'm on a forum having a discussion, I don't need for you to prove to me why I should care about what you're going through in life and if I can be of assistance - in the dating world or not. 

I dont need someone to care about my challenges i dont expect it.I dont need women to care for me,i dont need women in general,but if one is to come along and she shows she is worth my effort, then and only then i can open the door for things thats all im saying.

[Princess Arabia]

11 minutes ago, NoSelfSelf said:

I dont need someone to care about my challenges i dont expect it.I dont need women to care for me,i dont need women in general,but if one is to come along and she shows she is worth my effort, then and only then i can open the door for things thats all im saying.

Ok.

[Tenebroso]

I agree that women don't necessarily have it easier, it's just different problems. I guess the core issue for men is overcoming the hurdle of being invisible, just being seen is an achievement for the average man but for most women that is trivial. I guess women are looking for deep compatibility, the needle in the haystack that inspires her and makes her feel alive. So it feels like for most you have to focus on quantity and just shoot your shot until a woman takes a chance on you while, women are focused on quality, filtering for the best guy they can get. Most men don't seem to have whatever sparks that deep attraction in women, so I assume that must feel very disappointing. One thing I hear often is women wishing they were lesbian, being attracted to men seems to be burden while I have read of men who wish they could turn off their sex drive since it's so difficult to be a guy gets his needs met, I have had those feeling myself.

Edited October 7 by Tenebroso

[Princess Arabia]

55 minutes ago, Tenebroso said:

I guess the core issue for men is overcoming the hurdle of being invisible, just being seen is an achievement for the average man but for most women that is trivial

I want you to, and this will all depend on where you're from and culture, but regardless, whenever you're out and about take note of how many men you see just staring at the average female. Look around from now on and be observant without being noticeable. Look if people aren't just going about their business, men and women without anyone in particular being noticed unless he or she is very, very attractive and just really stand out in the crowd. 

I don't need you to tell me because i know what the answer is. Everybody, most, are invisible to the next. The only place you'll see quite the contrary are in small settings, where people mostly know each other, at parties or in clubs where people are fishing for potential lays. They'll be looking around for people they are attracted to, to go home or make out with; guys checking out females and females checking out guys. The more attractive the more eyes they get, yes but that's not the point here. The point is every body is invisible to everybody else until the "everbodys" have an agenda or motive.

Your mind has exaggerated things to expand it's feeling of lack with the opposite sex and is believing in irrational things like I'm invisible when in truth most people are invisible to everyone else. Please really see what I'm saying here. It's hard for you to really see how irrational and illogical you are in this context because you are trapped within it's confinements. I can spot them easily because I'm on the outside looking in. Not only that, things you say can easily go for me also on the general scale, but because I'm not going through what you're going through, I don't see them from the same perspective; meaning, I've been invisible many times but because I didn't care to be picked up or noticed in those moments, it wasn't a problem for the brain to be solved. I wasn't trying to be noticed, so I didn't feel invisible. The only reason you feel invisible is because you have a motive an agenda - you want to feel visible, you want to feel attractive, so you are focused on feeling invisible. If you didn't care at the time you were not being paid attention to, you wouldn't feel invisible. Most people aren't being noticed just in everyday life. You have to put yourself out there to be noticed, and that includes myself and depending on my motive and what I want to achieve. Nothing comes knocking at your doorstep unless it's the Jehovah's Witness. Not saying you're not invisible, but so is everyone else. Women don't go around cat-calling guys and most women who go home with guys, the guys had to put in the effort of an approach. Before that, they were probably invisible too.

Edited October 7 by Princess Arabia

[Leo Gura]

It's hard to get inside the mind of those who experience reality fundamentally differently than you.

And then on top of that you've got self-bias from needing men or women to satisfy your survival needs.

Edited October 8 by Leo Gura

[Princess Arabia]

7 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

It's hard to get inside the mind of those who experience reality fundamentally differently than you.

And then on top of that you've got self-bias from needing men or women to satisfy your survival needs.

Yes, and that's why I found it important to try and understand rather than judge, criticize and hate. You actually helped in this regard with a comment you made to me. You said something under the lines of men are visual and looks mattered because they have an equipment to get up. Meaning, they have to get hard to be able to have sex.

Before, I used to think it was shallow of them to only be interested in looks and it seemed so vain, but now I understand the underlying reason behind that now and i don't see it as vain and shallow anymore. It's probably subconscious on the men's part, but nature knows what it's doing and doesn't make mistakes. It's up to us to find the fundamental reasons for why things are as they are instead of hating them. What we don't understand we judge and hate but understanding is the underlying essence of loving something.

Another belief I have is that most men don't care to understand women and they just want their needs met. I'm yet to find the underlying reason why this is so, so I can understand without a sense of judgement.