The Distorting Mind.

[John]

I just watched a video by Leo describing the distinction between Deficiency cognition versus Being cognition. ‘How Your Mind Distorts Reality’ was the title. It’s an hour long and it ties up Abraham Maslow’s theory of self-actualization with Enlightenment. The self-actualized person perceives the world through being. His neuroses and anxieties don’t rubricise reality. The person who isn’t self-actualized walks into THEIR Coffee Shop and talks to THEIR Barista. Not the actual brick and mortar building in the middle of the town, not the actual flesh and blood person behind the cash register. It’s their narrative, the whole thing bends to their D-Cognition or deficiency perception.  At the opposite end of the spectrum is Being cognition. And at the extreme end of being cognition is enlightenment. This is where objects lose all relationships to one another. The fruit bowl is not on top of the table. It’s not even a fruit bowl and it’s not even a table. They are labels, they are concepts. These are some of the hallmarks and masterstrokes of the human race but they have trapped us now.

 

And I was thinking how far into Deficiency cognition I go all of the time. The old women ordering their coffee are my persecutors. The regular banker who walks in is my regular banker no one else’s. I plummet right to the depths of this Deficiency cognition because my ego is the most wounded. We are all doing it but I seem to do it with a unique intensity.

 

And then, when I get home; I sit on my cushion, set the timer and plummet right to the other end, to being cognition. Sometimes I feel close to access concentration. Other times I might just be sitting there desperately hoping for peace. It’s hard to tell. All of this is so new and esoteric and I have no master to guide me. But what an irony that is. How I plummet up and down each end of the spectrum. I don’t know how I have maintained my sanity. Because it is really merciless and brutal down there in D-cognition.  You try and breathe, you try and remain mindful, you try and claw your way back up to being cognition but your wounds tear you back down to the bottom of that hollow well with a bang and echo as you land.  And you try and lick them and love them and go again because it’s all you can do, Life doesn’t slow down and pick you up.

[philosogi]

@John How do you talk to yourself about your wounds?

[John]

@philosogi In short, I create my whole identity out of them!

Of course the fact that I have at least some consciousness means I am actively working to change it. But it's challenging. Like I'm caught in a Spiders web and every move I make entangles me further.

[philosogi]

2 hours ago, John said:

In short, I create my whole identity out of them!

But like, what sentences do you say to yourself? For example, when I started noticing my self-talk it was like:

Me: ugh, I'm so stupid
Me: idiot! I've ruined everything
Me: I suck.
Me: No wonder no one likes me.

[Nahm]

Watched Leo's video on roles?

[John]

@philosogi Some examples would be:

Me: Is this spiritual purification?

Me: This is so sore

Me: I am ashamed

Me: They are disgusted by me

Me: I am repulsive, despicable

Me: The future is filled with suffering and sorry

Me: They talk about me, or at the very least they judge me intensely 

 

[philosogi]

On 5/2/2017 at 3:37 PM, John said:

@philosogi Some examples would be:

Me: Is this spiritual purification?

Me: This is so sore

Me: I am ashamed

Me: They are disgusted by me

Me: I am repulsive, despicable

Me: The future is filled with suffering and sorry

Me: They talk about me, or at the very least they judge me intensely 

Did you see any difference when you started to notice your self-talk? (I found that when I was able to see my self-talk for what it was (A) judgmental, B) generated by the mind, C) essentially meaningless, D) a self-fulfilling prophecy if I chose to give it credence), I was able to pull regular life more out of Deficiency Cognition and more towards Being Cognition.)