Dating Apps

[cjoseph90]

 

some intresting points teal brings up and i agree with most which is why im against dating apps and the superficiality of the interactions, the harsh reality of our sick toxic culture. Thoughts?

Edited October 5 by cjoseph90

[LordFall]

I didn’t watch it but you know that as much as 40% of relationships now start on dating apps? 
 

You have to put a bit of thought into your dating strategy to make it work like if you’re a guy you probably will need to buy a professional photoshoot and if you’re an attractive woman have a vetting or screening process.
 

If used properly I think they work great.

[bambi]

She makes a good critique and correctly highlights a lot of the negative behaviors enabled by dating apps and online personas in general.

Teal is a very dominant and logical/rational woman, which counters a lot of her own self-reflection. It is also in direct contradiction with her and other women's understanding of things like femininity and masculinity, but they can't see it, including many women on here. For me, this is great analysis material, but will simply cause further dissonance for most female members on here.

Here’s my review in general:

1. Her critique of dating apps and modern dating lacks sufficient context. We have nothing to benchmark it against. It's like critiquing oxygen and oxidative stress. Yes, it's a real downside, but oxygen is a necessary and essential part of sustaining life; simply pointing out oxidative stress means nothing about the overall utility of oxygen.
    
2. There's always a type of romanticization of traditional forms of dating. This is a golden era fallacy or appeal to tradition fallacy. She commits this unknowingly throughout her critique. She needs to show objective data demonstrating that previous methods of dating were more successful or people were happier, but let's be honest: they don't exist.
    
3. There are implicit suggestions constantly that dating apps are artificial and that natural/organic dating -serendipitously meeting people in the real world - is superior. I don't see conclusive evidence here.

Overall, dating apps have pros and cons, and she does a good job of listing the worst behaviors enabled by dating apps. I don't necessarily agree that dating apps cause this behavior. And she downplays the difficulties humanity has faced in dating and mate pairing since our genesis. Most of the world had, and still has, arranged marriages. There is nothing more toxic than that for me. Dating apps and the internet are relatively modern phenomena, and it's not clear if they are providing a safer container for these negative attributes to be expressed, rather than generationally suppressed. This will only become clear in the next 50-100 years.

Edited October 5 by bambi

[Tenebroso]

I think dating apps are the scapegoat. The guys who have no problem attracting women in real life are the same guys getting all the attention online. Dating apps just unmask the primal firmware behind human mating dynamics. The most physically attractive people get all the attention, status and wealth matter but all the the more subtle qualities that people think they are attracted to; kindness, emotional intelligence, patience.....don't matter if you can't past the hurdle of attraction in the first place.

[Spiritual Warrior]

43 minutes ago, Tenebroso said:

The most physically attractive people get all the attention, status and wealth matter but all the the more subtle qualities that people think they are attracted to; kindness, emotional intelligence, patience.....don't matter if you can't past the hurdle of attraction in the first place.

This is very untrue. Try to extract this limiting belief out of your system. Women are much more attracted to a mans masculine nature, his sense of humor, and his drive.

The issue is that you cannot display these traits through a dating app, so a woman has nothing else to go on other than looks, so she picks the most attractive men to match with. 

[Chadders]

@cjoseph90 I’ve never been in a relationship with a woman I met over dating apps and neither has anyone else I know. They’re bullshit

A person will value a 10 minute face to face interaction with you 100x more than a random dating app match

[Kid A]

I don’t know what I would have done without dating apps. I’ve never even been close to getting any results from social circle, work/studies or nightgame, and Norway isn’t really suitable for daygame, but on dating apps I get great results. I’m in a relationship now thanks to Hinge.

[cjoseph90]

11 hours ago, Spiritual Warrior said:

This is very untrue. Try to extract this limiting belief out of your system. Women are much more attracted to a mans masculine nature, his sense of humor, and his drive.

The issue is that you cannot display these traits through a dating app, so a woman has nothing else to go on other than looks, so she picks the most attractive men to match with. 

Yes well said. I can agree with this, a woman is mostly paying attention to what the guy looks like online, not social status or his bank account balance

[Schizophonia]

Super annoying to pretend being interested into someone you have never met.

Edited October 6 by Schizophonia

[Schizophonia]

50 minutes ago, Kid A said:

I don’t know what I would have done without dating apps. I’ve never even been close to getting any results from social circle, work/studies or nightgame, and Norway isn’t really suitable for daygame, but on dating apps I get great results. I’m in a relationship now thanks to Hinge.

Lol, you must be super lunatic or something like that because you have to be pretty attractive to having “great results” in dating apps. 

[Kid A]

29 minutes ago, Schizophonia said:

Lol, you must be super lunatic or something like that because you have to be pretty attractive to having “great results” in dating apps. 

Not being able to dance, asperger’s, 5 cm below average and the fact that I’m pretty uncomfortable in night clubs (and other places with loud music) and that my brain pretty much shuts down when I’m stressed, might help explain…

[Schizophonia]

1 hour ago, Kid A said:

Not being able to dance, asperger’s, 5 cm below average and the fact that I’m pretty uncomfortable in night clubs (and other places with loud music) and that my brain pretty much shuts down when I’m stressed, might help explain…

It's a short term solution ofc but have you ever tried some Phenibut ? Alcohol ? THC ?

If yes how do you react ?

[Sugarcoat]

A guy could become more attractive because of his personality but on dating apps you see the looks and about one sentence that says something about them which is too little to judge so that’s one reason why I’m not really a fan of them

[LoseYourvelf]

Dating apps mostly go terrible but they can go so incredibly fucking well you WOULDN'T BELEIVE IT

[RendHeaven]

Love dating apps and daygame equally.

My nightgame and social circle game are weaker because I like getting sleep and traveling

[LoseYourvelf]

I just wish all the apps would let me set my preferences to "Hourglass"  "Asian"

[Kid A]

2 hours ago, Schizophonia said:

It's a short term solution ofc but have you ever tried some Phenibut ? Alcohol ? THC ?

If yes how do you react ?

I have no experience with THC, phenibut or any other drug than alcohol in this context. I've never even tried phenibut.
I've actually had alcohol most of the nights I've gone out, but it hasn't helped. Even if I get drunk, I'm still extremely uncomfortable at the dance floor and it feels like the most unnatural thing ever. It doesn't make me particularly better at talking either.  

[RendHeaven]

3 hours ago, LoseYourvelf said:

I just wish all the apps would let me set my preferences to "Hourglass"  "Asian"

🤝🤝🤝

[Jannes]

If dating apps were designed in such a way that people would find genuine connection they would be awesome and they could be! But your interest is kind of the opposite if you want to maximize profit as happy customer dont pay any longer. 

There are so many things where I just wonder, why is society at large getting exploited by individuals in such companies. Couldnt we just come together and built an open source kind of dating app which is in the interests of the people? An open source dating app isnt linux. 

Edited October 8 by Jannes