Question to men : what's your description of masculinity?

[Nemra]

@Husseinisdoingfine, it's oxymoronic.

[bambi]

Andrew tate is INTJ 783 tritype ennegram, Im an ENTP 783 ennegram, we both share the same ennegram. The dude next to Andrew is an 783 ennegrsam too. Kanye west is this ennegram, the wold of wall street Jordan Belfot is this ennegram, Andrew Elliot, Grant Cardone , Mike Tyson (ISTP), and Conor Mcgregor (ENFP) etc etc. Its the mover shaker ennegram, is the most assertive, can do, conquering tritype out of all of them. Followed only by the 853 - bill gates, elon musk (538 sub variants) and then the 863 - the justice fighter, think someone like candace owens.

https://wiki.personality-database.com/books/enneagram/page/378-the-mover-archetype

I am immune to self hellp books, mindset building, as I naturally possess these qualities since a kid. I remember reading fixed vs growth mindset and stopping quarter way through and was perplexed why anyone would need a book to tell them this

The point Im making is all this advice is not unviersal. You should learn your tritype/ennegram and figure out how to be the healtheist version of yourself. Stop trying to emulate people with my temperement when you are a totally different personality, it isn't going to help you.

Leo is a 548 (The scholar) so is jordan peterson, so was jung for example. 

All of these questions about masculinty are totally misplaced, there can be some universal traits perhaps, but there are temperment speicifc traits that are much more useful.

I am the world leading expert on this. I am working with AI models to produce a comprehensive theory and body of work to conclusively put an end the psycholgoical constructs and developments, derived from Jung, ennegram and tons of other work.

The models are struggling to synthesize accuracy over long context windows, Im hoping this will be fixed in 12-24 months

[Atb210201]

Keep facing life's challenges face to face.

Keep pushing and moving forward in the face of every crisis; always move forward as much as you can.

Be bold and brave and grounded and strict and straightforward with manners and respect.

Be strong and protect others from harm and provide for them.

Be a leader and see things into the future that others are too blind to see and lead others to a better state.

Be a man of your words either don't promise something or if you do be loyal to your promise.

Be a warrior and don't seek war but be ready for war.

Don't be a quitter never give up always stand on your own feet and do it again and again until you succeed.

Be a hero.

Sacrifice yourself for your clan and the people you love and others.

Give what you can without counting or wanting to take back.

Do what is necessary and must be done.

Be decisive in the face of doubt and uncertainty.

Take your duties seriously and do your duties at the best you can.

These are some examplary traits of masculinity.

 

 

Edited October 6 by Atb210201

[Buck Edwards]

 

@CARDOZZO

What masculine trait helps you to get over this fear? 

 

Do you think that a nice guy can exist who does not fear anything? 

[Atb210201]

You can be bold and brave and straightforward and still be nice

You don't have to be mean or rude for those 

Why not be nice and bold at the same time?

[CARDOZZO]

55 minutes ago, Buck Edwards said:

What masculine trait helps you to get over this fear? 

 

I'm healing. It is much more like a process than a on-off switch.

Fear is based on perception, comparison and value judgement. I'll have to work deeply to transcend how normal humans think about reality,

55 minutes ago, Buck Edwards said:

Do you think that a nice guy can exist who does not fear anything? 

A Kind guy is a more clear term because you are kind WHEN/HOW/WHO you WANT. A Nice guy is being NICE out of shame and fear not because he ACTUALLY wants it. Nice guy = repressed male.

Fearless is a strong word. You are becoming conscious on how to deal with fear. A powerful technique is letting go and contemplation.

I don't have a clear answer to that because I am on the process to recover as a nice guy.

Edited October 5 by CARDOZZO

[aurum]

Masculinity tends to have an "edge" to it. It feels intense and even potentially dangerous, like looking at a tiger that could maul you. 

You really have to control and balance it out, or it becomes very destructive. 

[Buck Edwards]

4 minutes ago, aurum said:

Masculinity tends to have an "edge" to it. It feels intense and even potentially dangerous, like looking at a tiger that could maul you. 

You really have to control and balance it out, or it becomes very destructive. 

Can this destructive force be tamed and transmuted into achieving impossible or difficult things in life? 

[Buck Edwards]

14 minutes ago, CARDOZZO said:

A Kind guy is a more clear term because you are kind WHEN/HOW/WHO you WANT. A Nice guy is being NICE out of shame and fear not because he ACTUALLY wants it. Nice guy = repressed male.

Fearless is a strong word. You are becoming conscious on how to deal with fear. A powerful technique is letting go and contemplation.

I don't have a clear answer to that because I am on the process to recover as a nice guy.

A guy can also be truly authentic and kind. That is also a nice guy, I mean not a stereotypical nice guy but a "good guy." One who has his boundaries very clearly laid out, his masculinity balanced, likes to be honest and knows his integrity. He is clean cut so he doesn't bend his rules to please anyone and doesn't compromise on his integrity to appear tough. 

Edited October 5 by Buck Edwards

[Tenebroso]

Masculinity is doing as you please unapologetically while taking complete responsibility. In my eyes, this has little to nothing to do with being a good person, protecting, morality. If a man's honest instincts lead him to honestly being a good man without looking for approval great but I don't believe there is some kind of positive morality inherent to true masculinity. This is uncomfortable for society to accept.

[Buck Edwards]

1 minute ago, Tenebroso said:

Masculinity is doing as you please unapologetically while taking complete responsibility. In my eyes, this has little to nothing to do with being a good person, protecting, morality. If a man's honest instincts lead him to honestly being a good man without looking for approval great but I don't believe there is some kind of positive morality inherent to true masculinity. This is uncomfortable for society to accept.

What is True masculinity hinged on then? 

[CARDOZZO]

25 minutes ago, Buck Edwards said:

A guy can also be truly authentic and kind. That is also a nice guy, I mean a stereotypical nice guy but a "good guy." One who has his boundaries very clearly laid out, his masculinity balanced, likes to be honest and knows his integrity. He is clean cut so he doesn't bend his rules to please anyone and doesn't compromise on his integrity to appear tough. 

Nice guy is a trick term. 

Repressed guy is a more accurate term.

I tend to have fear of taking, asking, bothering people - especially woman.

Repressed guys are concerned about people's sensitivity (A LOT). They think that other human beings will not know how to react when they (Repressed Guy) communicate their own desires. They don't accept that they are humans who have desires. 

It is SHAMEFUL that you have sexual desires. It is SHAMEFUL that you are asking woman to have sex with you. 

That is basically how you perceive things. 

Edited October 5 by CARDOZZO

[CARDOZZO]

@Buck Edwards

Repressed guys think that they are less human than yourself.

They think "I don't deserve X,Y,Z".

Do you feel how disgusting it is?

That is why women run from that type of man.

They are incompetent, infantile and fearful.

[Buck Edwards]

Just now, CARDOZZO said:

@Buck Edwards

Repressed guys think that they are less human than yourself.

They think "I don't deserve X,Y,Z".

Do you feel how disgusting it is?

That is why women run from that type of man.

They are incompetent, infantile and fearful.

I never ran into that kind of a guy. I mostly dated dominant men because they were more interesting. It's the leadership quality in a guy that attracts me because I get to learn something from him. Also I crave this feeling of belongingness. That's how I found my husband. He gives me that containment. If a man feels weak, I don't try to judge him, in fact I try to offer him space to cry out his feelings. Men often have their vulnerable side suppressed by social factors. He should have someone to cry too. I usually offer him space and comfort to open up his feelings without judgement. I think because of this suppression, men don't connect very easily with their own emotions and that's what leads to the nice guy syndrome in the first place. 

But if a man can break out of that suppression, he can learn to express himself more fully and openly. If a guy feels that he is infantile or incompetent, that's probably a self confidence issue and that only gets better when he improves his overall self esteem. 

[CARDOZZO]

10 minutes ago, Buck Edwards said:

If a man feels weak, I don't try to judge him, in fact I try to offer him space to cry out his feelings.

Woman will not tolerate that type of man for years. 

They need to look up to men.

That's how paradoxical it is - woman need a open/vulnerable male but they also want a ferocious beast.

Nowdays, males are not the one or the other type. They are neither.

They fear being a beast and/or vulnerable.

They are castrated. They can't be powerful or vulnerable.

If they are a beast = misogynistic. If they are vulnerable= gay/weak/simp.

That's why the majority of people on self-development/spirituality communities are man.

They need a path to solve this paradox.

Edited October 5 by CARDOZZO

[Buck Edwards]

4 minutes ago, CARDOZZO said:

Woman will not tolerate that type of man for years. 

They need to look up to men.

That's how paradoxical it is - woman need a open/vulnerable male but they also want a ferocious beast.

Nowdays, males are not the one or the other type. They are neither.

They fear being a beast and/or vulnerable.

They are castrated. They can't be powerful or vulnerable.

If they are a beast = misogynistic. If they are vulnerable= gay/weak.

That's why the majority of man are doing self-development or spirituality.

They need a path to solve this paradox.

Well that's about power dynamics. Even men don't tolerate very bossy masculine type of women for years. 

We always have to be demure and soft to appeal to men. 

I guess it goes both ways. Vulnerability in men is frowned upon, strength in women is frowned upon. 

Edited October 5 by Buck Edwards

[CARDOZZO]

12 minutes ago, Buck Edwards said:

Well that's about power dynamics. Even men don't tolerate very bossy masculine type of women for years. 

We always have to be demure and soft to appeal to men. 

I guess it goes both ways. Vulnerability in men is frowned upon, strength in women is frowned upon. 

Sure. I agree.

The only viable path is acceptance/ transcendence.

Look to heal your wounds, work on yourself and express your truth.

There is a lot of BS on the world. I am on the path to reclaim my own power.

Shame, guilty, comparison, ideals and the perception of others over myself.

That's what I am working on.

[LordFall]

I would summarize it as the burden of competence. Are you able to provide value and security to the women, friends, family and community around you? 

[Javfly33]

I don´t think you have to be mysoginistic to be a 'beast'. Being a 'beast' means just being grounded in your own truth, and not being weak.

 

[Javfly33]

38 minutes ago, Buck Edwards said:

I never ran into that kind of a guy. I mostly dated dominant men because they were more interesting. It's the leadership quality in a guy that attracts me because I get to learn something from him. Also I crave this feeling of belongingness. That's how I found my husband. He gives me that containment.

that makes sense and it explains why they told me 'you are femenine they don´t want to date themselves' 😂