How To Exploit Men

[Davino]

Today I overheard a conversation in the train of a group of girls.

One was speaking that at one point she had two salaries, her job and a man that paid everything for her.

My jaw drop at the naturality of that statement moreover the conversation casually went on.

[Leo Gura]

You could make a million dollars posting TikTok videos of a hot girl who only posts stories of how she was dating this nice guy, but he was too beta for her, so she upgraded him for a Wall Street guy with a big dick and square jaw, while using her previous guy to pay her salon bills.

Edited October 5 by Leo Gura

[Emerald]

18 hours ago, CARDOZZO said:

This is a thing that men in general don't believe.

We are loved/rewarded by what we do.

We would feel such a relief to hear that from a woman. 

I wouldn't be surprised if a guy start crying in relief after hearing that from woman.

It would heal a lot of shame and wounds.

This would be a great course to help woman communicate in that way with man. 

Yes and no. 

Yes, it would take the shame out of dating and the fear that "If I'm not x, I won't have love and connection."

Like, when I was in my early to mid twenties, I used to have this gut-wrenching fear that men aren't capable of loving a woman if she's over the age of 30. And this used to make me dread aging out of my 20s because I felt like I was sliding off the conveyor belt of lovability and that getting love that outlasted my youthful beauty was impossible. It was a whole decade where I felt like I was losing lovability with every passing minute. And I started fearing aging out of lovability as soon as I turned 16.

But this fear wasn't really about men at the core of it. So, this is where the "no" part of the answer comes in... as these fears are usually coming from deeper seated dynamics. 

I'll give a personal anecdote to explain....

Using shadow work, I eventually discovered that the reason why I had this fear that I would age out of men's love and that men couldn't really love a woman beyond fleeting youthful qualities, was coming from childhood traumas surrounding my mom where I aged out of my mom's love and that she can't really love a child beyond fleeting youthful qualities. (She actually does love me, and I know that. But she hasn't really acted like that because of her own patterns.)

I was my mom's golden child as a very small child, and my mom is really good with small children. She absolutely ADORES small children and is like the best, most attentive carer of young children I've ever met. And she's super encouraging of children's strengths and talents. Like, she really makes a child feel like the most important person in the world that's capable of doing and being anything. And she's SUPER attuned to the child. And she was my favorite person back then.

But she has an intense need for control and a need to control the narrative as she must see herself as right and righteous, and she doesn't trust anyone over the age of 8. So, once I got to be about 8, our relationship degraded.

So, she couldn't connect to me anymore because, once I was an older child, I was no longer a safe person to connect with for her because I had my own personality and my own ideas... and those would disturb her sense of control.

So, connection and admiration from my mom was at its peak when I was a baby and was sharply declining minute by minute in the first decade of my life, and I was spent like a washed up celebrity by the time I was 8.

So, I was transferring the pain of aging out of my mom's connection, love, admiration, and embrace onto men, and it was bringing up all the same heart-rending, stomach-churning feelings that I buried when I was an older child when I went sharply from hyper-admiration and worship of my mom to rebellion and anger.

And digging into this dynamic is actually what moved the needle on these insecurities about men... even though they seem like totally different situations. It's just that, when men would appreciate me physically and would be delighted/impressed with me... it gave me a taste again of being the impressive golden child. And there was a fear I'd lose my place as the beloved again, once I lost my youth.

Beyond that, coming to understand more about men at a deep human level and that men are capable of real love helped me a lot with this fear as more clarity made it more difficult to project my Shadows onto my uncertainty about men's inner workings. It's been especially helpful working as a coach over the past 6 years as you get to understand people (men and women) at a very deep level.

And you get to see how all human beings long to love and be loved. Ayahuasca has also showed me, in one instance, how men are operating with regard to age, beauty, and love. And it was a lot more human and deep than I had been projecting.

That said, the only REAL remedy for shame is 100% unconditional self-compassion, self-acceptance, and self-love.

Once you put a condition on your validity, shame starts eating you up. And if the condition is "A woman has to love me for who I am for me to accept myself." then it just becomes another situation where you live and die by the sword of external validation.

Edited October 5 by Emerald

[Emerald]

36 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

You could make a million dollars posting TikTok videos of a hot girl who only posts stories of how she was dating this nice guy, but he was too beta for her, so she upgraded him for a Wall Street guy with a big dick and square jaw, while using her previous guy to pay her salon bills.

That would be super lucrative because it would reinforce all the male shame narratives that are floating around on the internet and enable a lot of bitter wound tonguing and misogynistic love/hate anger. 

And then, like 5-10% of the young men who watched the video would become Neo Nazis like 3 months later... without even realizing why they ended up there.

[NoSelfSelf]

8 hours ago, Javfly33 said:

well, well, well, dont include me in that, i wish i had a turn on  for being a provider 🤣 things would be much easier for me . Didn´t know that was a thing for most men. 

Well said, this is actually an official thing nowdays and is called financial domination. 

Although by what I´m seeing it seems it exists in more subtler ways than what i thought. 

that´s also a good point. 

Although I must say that stable ground is rare. I know a guy that was the typical 'fucker' for a long time until she met a woman a couple of years ago (latina, i dont want to be racist, but i have to say it xD), and he is paying for almost everything nowdays. 

What you say sounds good in theory, but in reality women will always ask something from you. Specially in long term relationships nothing is free. But is true that it doesn´t have to be money 👍

I guess the ideal exchange is something you really want to give, instead of using money as a means to get her. If what you are is what she is seeking then is the perfect match

You have nothing to offer them, you cant stimulate their mind because you worship pussy...

[Javfly33]

2 hours ago, Emerald said:

That said, the only REAL remedy for shame is 100% unconditional self-compassion, self-acceptance, and self-love.

Once you put a condition on your validity, shame starts eating you up. And if the condition is "A woman has to love me for who I am for me to accept myself." then it just becomes another situation where you live and die by the sword of external validation.

Woah That´s a good summary 👏

1 hour ago, NoSelfSelf said:

You have nothing to offer them, you cant stimulate their mind because you worship pussy...

I´m sure you know how to stimulate their mind a lot, that´s why I see you so much time in this subforum 🤣🤣

Why don´t you give us a coaching and show us your girlfriends? Back your shit up with results. Then I´ll listen to you. 

Edited October 5 by Javfly33

[NoSelfSelf]

2 minutes ago, Javfly33 said:

That´s a good summary. 

I´m sure you know how to stimulate their mind a lot, that´s why I see you so much time in this subforum 🤣🤣

Why don´t you give us a coaching and show us your girlfriends? Back your shit up with results. Then I´ll listen to you. 

Sure,but im not coaching someone who makes game about sex pm then..

[LoseYourvelf]

3 hours ago, Davino said:

Today I overheard a conversation in the train of a group of girls.

One was speaking that at one point she had two salaries, her job and a man that paid everything for her.

My jaw drop at the naturality of that statement moreover the conversation casually went on.

I appreciate this black pill

[Javfly33]

3 minutes ago, NoSelfSelf said:

Sure,but im not coaching someone who makes game about sex pm then..

sex pm?

Just now, LoseYourvelf said:

I appreciate this black pill

😂😂

Remember the black pill is the proyection... Better to contemplate what is he doing his bf and what is he doing his paypig. 

[LoseYourvelf]

Just now, Javfly33 said:

sex pm?

😂😂

Remember the black pill is the proyection... Better to contemplate what is he doing his bf and what is he doing his paypig. 

^Like water over a ducks back

 

case/point, thanks jav

[NoSelfSelf]

Just now, Javfly33 said:

sex pm?

😂😂

Remember the black pill is the proyection... Better to contemplate what is he doing his bf and what is he doing his paypig. 

See thats why you are weak and why red pill exists for guys like you to feel sorry for yourself.

[LoseYourvelf]

2 minutes ago, NoSelfSelf said:

See thats why you are weak and why red pill exists for guys like you to feel sorry for yourself.

Ever considered we want completely different things from women too? holding down a wholesome relationship is one thing but as a young man i wanna be able to be friends with women without wanting to sleep with them and shit

ill report back if i manage this but its gonna be revolutionairy if i do

Edited October 5 by LoseYourvelf

[NoSelfSelf]

1 minute ago, LoseYourvelf said:

Ever considered we want completely different things from women too? holding down a wholesome relationship is one thing but as a young man i wanna be able to be friends with women without wanting to sleep with them and shit

Why would you want things from women and be friends with them? That's some weak stuff i dont stand by that.

[Buck Edwards]

12 minutes ago, NoSelfSelf said:

Sure,but im not coaching someone who makes game about sex pm then..

What is sex pm?? Genuinely curious. 

 

[NoSelfSelf]

1 minute ago, Buck Edwards said:

What is sex pm?? Genuinely curious. 

 

😂😂😂 its comma after sex didnt see that..im doing stuff while writing here...

[Buck Edwards]

1 minute ago, NoSelfSelf said:

😂😂😂 its comma after sex didnt see that..im doing stuff while writing here...

What is pm? 

[NoSelfSelf]

1 minute ago, Buck Edwards said:

What is pm? 

Pm is personal message that's like universal...

[Javfly33]

17 minutes ago, NoSelfSelf said:

See thats why you are weak and why red pill exists for guys like you to feel sorry for yourself.

i never agreed with red pill, you probably are mistaken me with someone else

also where do you get that im 'weak'? 🤣 wanna throw some punches bro?

Quote

Why would you want things from women and be friends with them? That's some weak stuff i dont stand by that.

yeap, No one wants to be friend he just wants to settle for scrumbs

Edited October 5 by Javfly33

[NoSelfSelf]

Just now, Javfly33 said:

i never agreed with red pill, you probably are mistaken me with someone else

also where do you get that im 'weak'? 🤣 wanna throw some punches bro?

I misread its comma after sex i thought you trolling,you are weak thats why you need coaching..you wouldnt wanna throw hands chill...

[Javfly33]

Just now, NoSelfSelf said:

I misread its comma after sex i thought you trolling,you are weak thats why you need coaching..you wouldnt wanna throw hands chill...

🤦