Leo's Blog Discussion Mega-Thread

[Leo Gura]

13 minutes ago, Daniel Balan said:

But I realized that all of them were extremely selfish, and that humans are the embodiment of the devil. I decided to have 0 friends in order to protect myself, because I saw that they could harm me, EG. trying to steal my girlfriend, trying to steal stuff from my house, trying to scam me of money by lending them, and never paying me back. etc,

This seems like an unhealthy overcorrection.

You definitely can have healthy honest loving friends. You don't need 50 of them, just 1-3 would enough. Just be more selective.

Deciding to never again have friends at 24 is extremely limiting. Maybe if you were 60 that would be okay.

Edited yesterday at 04:00 PM by Leo Gura

[ryoko]

@Leo Gura That Warning went bad, that wasn't necessary.

Anyways, solitude reminds me of Kojiro Sasaki from "Record of Ragnarok" anime. He isn't competitive, he's only concerned about mastery. Most of the time he trains alone, uses interaction with others to assess his skills and devises plans to grow, once he outgrows them, he doesn't mind them or ask them for a duel. But he's clearly grateful to them for showing him his limitations and showing him their strength. He lives a nomadic life, looking for much stronger people who would offer him a fight. And once he fails the fight, which he always does, he spends a good chunk of time training alone, surpassing them Also lives on his own, rejects stable job offers, because it doesn't excite him.

Such lifestyle feels like fantasy to many, especially if you're in the West. That's the worst bias you can have. This is entirely possible, there's a few who live like this. On the top of my head "Moojin Hanvit"  comes to mind. He have made some videos on how he's been living in solitude since his twenties.

 

Edited yesterday at 04:27 PM by ryoko

[RawJudah]

What about socialising your ass of in our 30s? I did lots of socialising in my 20s but now I’m 31 it’s fizzled out a bit. I kind of like the peace and quiet now

[Terell Kirby]

@Leo Gura I like how you tied solitude to financial independence. I’ve had the same insights about socialization, but also recognized the limits of having to maintain a job to feed myself (I am a project manager in tech). I’m also dependent on some relationships for emotional support and well being.

I try to make sure I have at least a two or three days a week free of social commitments. It does get easier as I get older, and I enjoy it more. I also have friends and family in my life that I love dearly, and make time for them because I enjoy connecting. Balance is key for me.

Edited yesterday at 05:16 PM by Terell Kirby

[LifeEnjoyer]

Solitude during the lockdown when I was 16 really shaped how much I value social connection, so that blog post really resonated with me as I’m now 20 and excessively socializing.

The past year though has been nearly all socializing, does that mean I should go into solitude? My LP requires massive socializing...

 

[Daniel Balan]

3 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

This seems like an unhealthy overcorrection.

You definitely can have healthy honest loving friends. You don't need 50 of them, just 1-3 would enough. Just be more selective.

Deciding to never again have friends at 24 is extremely limiting. Maybe if you were 60 that would be okay.

There is more to it, on October the 17th 2023, my dog died in my hands. I loved that dog more than I loved my gf or even myself, his name was Bursucu, The Badger in english, he was glued to me wherever I went, We wandered together sometimes for trips as long as 20 km at night, he always did some playful tricks with his body that no other dog I had did, I never had a dog like that, when I looked into his eyes he was such a angel like being. 

He always jumped over the fence and barked at the ones who passed by on the road in front of my house, and people all the time threw rocks at him, tried to kick him with their feet, he just barked when someone passed by my house and as soon they passed the perimeter of my propriety he stopped barking, he didn't bite just bark!

 Once I almost had a brawl with 3 dudes who threw stones at him and tried to kick him in the head with the foot, because I shouted at them to leave my dog alone! 

But one day someone decided to murder my dog and threw few pieces of meat with rat poison in them, the dog ate them with 4 days before he died, I saw that on the cctv but I couldn't recognize who it was because It was from a distance. I saw that footage only after the dog died. 

I observed that with one day prior to his death that he wasn't as energic as he once was, but I didn't gave it too much thought. 

And as I came home from work, I see him with tears in his eyes, and he jumped in my hands and he kisses my hand, and as I go into the house to change my clothes he looks very sad to me as I walk. After 5 minutes I changed my clothes and I go outside, and I see him violently vomiting and shivering and moving uncontrollably, he vomited all the rat poison that the had in his stomach, he was moving like a snake in all directions and moving his body parts like crazy, he had such a violent death as he gave his last breath my tears were dropping over his body and I told him that He always was there to protect me, but for one time he needed my protection and I failed him, all I had to do is protect his angel soul from the devils and I failed. The images of my dog struggling to fight the poison that has destroyed his body, while he cried as he gave his last breath in my hands, he fought so hard to survive, I saw it in his eyes how hard he tried to stay alive as he saw me crying too. 

I will never forget that day, If someone has that much evil in his soul to be able to kill a little dog with such a brutal and painful death... To me this exact moment made me realize that mankind is a race that should have never existed on this planet, a race of pure evil and the embodiment of the most heinous devil.  we as humans are a cancer on this planet. 

So that is why I decided that I will never have friends again, I will be civil and respectful to everyone, but I will never trust anyone with anything ever and I will try to stay as far away from humans as possible. The little time I have here left, I will wander at night the prairies I once walked with my angel beholding the night and contemplating about a reality that will forever haunt me. 

Edited yesterday at 07:52 PM by Daniel Balan

[ryoko]

@Daniel Balan

that's really sad, man. Very few get to experience these kind of things. I've seen stray dogs getting poisoned by the locals. It's very heartless.

Me and a few kids used to go and save stray puppies from diseases, feed them till they can fend themselves. But most of them end up dying, within a few months for reasons unknown. That's when I started to realize most people see dogs as a nuisance. They don't see humans are just another animal.

Then there's my own pup, he's just 2 yo. When strangers come home, the first thing they say is, chain him. We don't chain him, that's not how we treat him. I have made sure he hates chains, also encouraged autonomy. He communicates, makes demands, and is very emotional. Strangers barely know all this, most don't treat dogs well, even if they "own" one. Meanwhile, dogs , they sense good people. I feel a strong affinity towards them, they usually wag their tails instead of barking at me, as a stranger, no matter where I go.

Life of dogs is very sad from a human perspective, but, I've noticed that the stray dogs are more playful. It's a very fascinating thing, how humans catapult themselves into suffering and devilry: they have convinced themselves it's part of their survival, while dogs are experts at being joyful.

My point being, don't give up hope on humans. There are many good people. You know? It's a 12 yo kid who convince me to go with him to save the little puppies. Kindness is always there.

Edited yesterday at 09:35 PM by ryoko

[Leo Gura]

1 hour ago, Daniel Balan said:

But one day someone decided to murder my dog and threw few pieces of meat with rat poison in them, the dog ate them with 4 days before he died, I saw that on the cctv but I couldn't recognize who it was because It was from a distance. I saw that footage only after the dog died. 

I'm sorry that happened to you. So sad. Made me cry for you and your dog.

But humans are gonna be here regardless and very few humans are that bad. You gotta find the good ones. There are good ones like your dog was. Be careful not to over-generalize. The humans who hurt your dog were bad. That doesn't transfer to all humans. Just like there are some bad dogs, but that doesn't transfer to your dog.

Keep in mind how "evil" animals are. A wolf has no problem ripping a rabbit apart. Life is a very difficult and hurtful thing.

You have deep trauma from losing your dog. It will take time and some therapy to heal. Hang in there. Sorry for your loss.

Edited yesterday at 09:22 PM by Leo Gura

[Leo Gura]

4 hours ago, ryoko said:

That Warning went bad, that wasn't necessary.

It was very necessary.

[ryoko]

16 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

It was very necessary.

Yeah, I understand now.

Solitude as an escape is never healthy.

[Daniel Balan]

1 hour ago, Leo Gura said:

I'm sorry that happened to you. So sad. Made me cry for you and your dog.

But humans are gonna be here regardless and very few humans are that bad. You gotta find the good ones. There are good ones like your dog was. Be careful not to over-generalize. The humans who hurt your dog were bad. That doesn't transfer to all humans. Just like there are some bad dogs, but that doesn't transfer to your dog.

Keep in mind how "evil" animals are. A wolf has no problem ripping a rabbit apart. Life is a very difficult and hurtful thing.

You have deep trauma from losing your dog. It will take time and some therapy to heal. Hang in there. Sorry for your loss.

I was the man of the house since 7 years old since my grandpa died, and I've buried more than 10 dogs until I buried my angel, and I've never been affected for more than a few hours, the previous dogs died to illness or they been hit by a car, I've understood that it is part of life! But I've cried my eyes out when I wrote the above post and I almost never cry  , and it's been almost a year and a half since my dog was murdered. Something about the brutality of the scene made me view all humans , including myself as devils walking and raping the earth! To me only a horrific devil could have put the poison in the meat with full discernment of the brutality of the death that will ensue. The scene of brutal fight for survival that my dog had in it's final minutes... it lasted like 10 minutes and as he shed tears as he died, he looked into my eyes the whole time.... and the moment he gave his last breath and how his eyes froze while shedding one last tear..... That image will forever haunt me. That day made me realize that there is something extremely horrifyingly devilish and evil within the human race. It made me realize that man was created in the image of the devil, not in the image of God. I made the rationale in my mind that all humans have at their core some identic DNA structure that defines us as a species, and therefore everyone is related to one another, and as a consequence if one individual had in their psyche so much horrific evil to brutally exterminate a little harmless dog , then in my theory given the fact that I believe that we all share a common DNA, everyone could have done the same given the chance. Sure that devil mercilessly slaughtered with poison my dog just because he barked when he passed by my house, for others the threshold that would push them to do the same would have been raised higher.  I mean look what happened in the Holocaust, that we as a species still kill each other for fun after 200.000 years of evolution. In my mind mankind is a cancer, sometimes I wish that I wasn't born. All of those thoughts I shared here with you are as a result of very deep contemplation of all the events that I experienced since I was born. I am not stating that they are correct, but that is the conclusion I have arrived after all the nights of contemplation.

Edited yesterday at 10:48 PM by Daniel Balan

[The Crocodile]

@Daniel Balan The only reason you love your dog so much is because of your human experience. It's what makes the human experience meaningful.

Happiness and sadness are the same because they both show you what and how much you love.

[Daniel Balan]

1 hour ago, ryoko said:

My point being, don't give up hope on humans. There are many good people. You know? It's a 12 yo kid who convince me to go with him to save the little puppies. Kindness is always there.

@ryoko Undeniably there are good people. But even good people are evil. I've noticed that within myself, I sometimes have evil thoughts, like the thoughts I have when I experience injustice or devilry. I have thoughts of annihilating people that wrong others, which in turn makes me just as evil as those I condemn for being evil. If I see so much evil within myself, how could I ever trust another human ever again? And believe me I try my hardest everyday to live as just and fair to other beings as possible. My relation with all humans hasn't changed since my dog was slaughtered with poison, I talk to everybody, I behave with everyone, but whenever I see a human, I see them in my mind as the devils they are, even when I look in the mirror, I almost can see the crooked teeth and horns. The only time I feel at peace is when I am walking at night beholding the sky. The night's firmament is pure therapy to me. I feel like I fly through the universe when I behold the sky! I wish I could become one with the nightsky.

[Natasha Tori Maru]

3 hours ago, Daniel Balan said:

And as I came home from work, I see him with tears in his eyes, and he jumped in my hands and he kisses my hand, and as I go into the house to change my clothes he looks very sad to me as I walk. After 5 minutes I changed my clothes and I go outside, and I see him violently vomiting and shivering and moving uncontrollably, he vomited all the rat poison that the had in his stomach, he was moving like a snake in all directions and moving his body parts like crazy, he had such a violent death as he gave his last breath my tears were dropping over his body and I told him that He always was there to protect me, but for one time he needed my protection and I failed him, all I had to do is protect his angel soul from the devils and I failed. The images of my dog struggling to fight the poison that has destroyed his body, while he cried as he gave his last breath in my hands, he fought so hard to survive, I saw it in his eyes how hard he tried to stay alive as he saw me crying too. 

 

I am so sorry to hear this 

I too have experienced terrible deaths of pets.

I had a puppy who, on my 16th birthday, ate an entire box of snail poison.

It was a windy day, the box up high.

It must have fallen, she got into it.

She died in the same similar violent manner in my arms.

My mother was hysterical as I held her in the car. 

It is something that you will never forget, only time can help the trauma fade to a distant memory...

Regardless of intentions, outcomes can be terrible & there is nothing we can do but endure 

[Daniel Balan]

44 minutes ago, The Crocodile said:

@Daniel Balan The only reason you love your dog so much is because of your human experience. It's what makes the human experience meaningful.

Happiness and sadness are the same because they both show you what and how much you love.

And above all, what this makes it so brutally heart-wrecking is that he waited for me for 2 days to come home to greet me for one last time...

he waited with his body totally destroyed from within just to kiss me one last goodbye.... 

I will never forget him! Goodbye forever!

Edited yesterday at 10:58 PM by Daniel Balan

[Leo Gura]

22 minutes ago, Daniel Balan said:

@ryoko Undeniably there are good people. But even good people are evil. I've noticed that within myself, I sometimes have evil thoughts, like the thoughts I have when I experience injustice or devilry. I have thoughts of annihilating people that wrong others, which in turn makes me just as evil as those I condemn for being evil. If I see so much evil within myself, how could I ever trust another human ever again? And believe me I try my hardest everyday to live as just and fair to other beings as possible. My relation with all humans hasn't changed since my dog was slaughtered with poison, I talk to everybody, I behave with everyone, but whenever I see a human, I see them in my mind as the devils they are, even when I look in the mirror, I almost can see the crooked teeth and horns. The only time I feel at peace is when I am walking at night beholding the sky. The night's firmament is pure therapy to me. I feel like I fly through the universe when I behold the sky! I wish I could become one with the nightsky.

This situation is still very fresh in your mind. Give yourself time.

[Daniel Balan]

8 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

This situation is still very fresh in your mind. Give yourself time.

It's not just this situation, this situation was like the final nail in the coffin of my world view. I began shaping this worldview 5 years ago when I started to realize what mankind is really about, And as time passed I got more and more radicalized in that aspect. I stopped trusting humans long before this event. But this event had nailed the last nail in my worldview. I go about my life as nothing has changed, but genuinely I could never trust humans ever. I even thought of not even staring a family because I don't want to perpetuate this illness called mankind for this beautiful planet. I love this planet so much, I wouldn't want to hurt mother nature any longer...

[Daniel Balan]

1 hour ago, Daniel Balan said:

 That day made me realize that there is something extremely horrifyingly devilish and evil within the human race. It made me realize that man was created in the image of the devil, not in the image of God. I made the rationale in my mind that all humans have at their core some identic DNA structure that defines us as a species, and therefore everyone is related to one another, and as a consequence if one individual had in their psyche so much horrific evil to brutally exterminate a little harmless dog , then in my theory given the fact that I believe that we all share a common DNA, everyone could have done the same given the chance. Sure that devil mercilessly slaughtered with poison my dog just because he barked when he passed by my house, for others the threshold that would push them to do the same would have been raised higher.  I mean look what happened in the Holocaust, that we as a species still kill each other for fun after 200.000 years of evolution. In my mind mankind is a cancer, sometimes I wish that I wasn't born. All of those thoughts I shared here with you are as a result of very deep contemplation of all the events that I experienced since I was born. I am not stating that they are correct, but that is the conclusion I have arrived after all the nights of contemplation.

@Leo Gura please give your opinion on what I highlighted above! Have I gone totally overboard with the nihilist bandwagon which I totally assume being true, but I feel like in the quote above is a kernel of truth, what do you think? Is what I contemplated totally wrong? 

[Leo Gura]

17 minutes ago, Daniel Balan said:

Is what I contemplated totally wrong? 

Yes, it is wrong. That is not how reality works.

But it is too soon from your trauma to start correcting your worldview. At this time you need a good 3-6 months for your mind to settle and grieve. Then we can discuss how to improve your understanding of mankind and reality.

For now just take it easy, comfort yourself, give yourself space and time, and try not to invent grand narratives about mankind from your current state. You are in a state of profound loss, hurt, and trauma so your sense-making from that state will be distorted and biased. That is okay, but try not to feed it too much or you will develop a toxic ideology which will be hard to dislodge in the future.

Very horrific things can and must happen in life. Making sense of why they happen is very serious work which requires coming from an unemotional state.

Wishing you peace.

Edited yesterday at 11:45 PM by Leo Gura

[Adi996]

If I understand correctly, the dog died 15 months ago. No denying it was a traumatic experience, but life goes on and you should try and research how people deal with such trauma. Otherwise you'll be very limited in your potential, almost constantly having a story playing in your mind about how humans are evil etc.

As Leo said, that is not correct, and if it's true that the incident happened 15 months ago, might be time to begin the healing process.