Suspended from college for a year | My life is a catastrophy

[Thought Art]

Perhaps this is a chance to study emotional intelligence 

[Buck Edwards]

(This post is out of goodwill.)

Right now I'm reading this book. It shows people management skills. 

And it focuses on emotional intelligence. I was like you a year ago, lashing out because of my traumas. Since then I put in some work to be less reactive. This book helps me. Yes people trigger us often. But we still don't have to give our power to them. 

This work is about self development. You have to reach a goal where nobody can trigger you although it's hard to do in reality. 

Edited October 4 by Leo Gura

[The Blind Sage]

@Buck Edwards Could you tell us which book that is? thanks : )

[hyruga]

Looks like the book Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman.

Edited October 4 by hyruga

[The Blind Sage]

@hyruga Thanks!

[Buck Edwards]

@hyruga @The Blind Sage the name of the book is Emotional Intelligence 2.0 by Travis Bradberry & Jean Greaves. 

[Thought Art]

Notice how if someone yells and shouts at you, there is nothing you need to do. Especially if you have larger goals. If you walk away, or say “ouch”, or stay calm and cool… you win. It’s the complete opposite of what you think… 

Edited October 4 by Thought Art

[Butters]

38 minutes ago, Thought Art said:

Notice how if someone yells and shouts at you, there is nothing you need to do. Especially if you have larger goals. If you walk away, or say “ouch”, or stay calm and cool… you win. It’s the complete opposite of what you think… 

This 

You can also pick up sports, especially martial arts, to better control your anger. Anger is not to be muted but to be controlled, meaning no outbursts but internal anger properly controlled and directed. 

Edited October 4 by Butters

[Keryo Koffa]

@Husseinisdoingfine It's your agency speaking, rebelling against people's bs and your own passivity.

The best reaction would be to dismiss them and independently listen to this inner opposing authenticity.

If you care to, don't use force or ad-hominems, remain composed and roast the shit out of them instead 😁

They got nothing on you, unless you agree, in which case, you're the one who's limiting beliefs you gotta change.

Edited October 4 by Keryo Koffa

[Husseinisdoingfine]

No but serious, the problem I have of remembering every little thing said to me years ago, it eats at me and I'm filled with hate because of it. Still plotting how I can get back at someone years later. I need help, what to do?

 

[Rishabh R]

@Husseinisdoingfine I have been there and the best option for me was to move on . As you can't control others but you can control your thoughts and actions.

[Rigel]

1 hour ago, Husseinisdoingfine said:

No but serious, the problem I have of remembering every little thing said to me years ago, it eats at me and I'm filled with hate because of it. Still plotting how I can get back at someone years later. I need help, what to do?

 

Let it eat at you & don’t do anything. It’s like you’re asking: « Why is there a storm outside? What can I do to make it go away? Why is the sky so dark & angry? I want it to go away! » 
Can you see the problem with that? You are in this mess cause you fool yourself into thinking you can do something about it.

If you are hell bent on doing something at all costs then I’d say go seek a therapist.

~

« When I find myself in tons of trouble

Mother Mary comes to me

Whispering words of wisdom

Let it be

And in my darkest hours

She is standing there in front of me

Speaking words of wisdom

Let it be

Let it be, let it be, let it be, oh let it be.

There will be an answer

Let it be »

Edited October 4 by Rigel

[gettoefl]

1 hour ago, Husseinisdoingfine said:

No but serious, the problem I have of remembering every little thing said to me years ago, it eats at me and I'm filled with hate because of it. Still plotting how I can get back at someone years later. I need help, what to do?

 

Let me tell you about radical forgiveness

An attack on you of any kind is simply your own misinterpretation and is in no way the other's fault

They are acting from their own illusions, and you are too by choosing to see yourself as a vulnerable individual

Forgiveness is about healing how you interpret; it looks past their actions to the truth of their reality and yours

Forgiveness overlooks happenings and instead strengthens awareness, helping you notice illusions to avoid falling into them

In short: Everything that you experience is arising directly from your own mind, as each person creates what they experience moment by moment

Everyone around you is doing the best they can, just like you are

Quote

 

Please forgive me for being the tipping point when you were under the spell of assault thoughts

and I honor you as being as innocent and divine as me

 

 

Edited October 4 by gettoefl

[bambi]

3 hours ago, Husseinisdoingfine said:

No but serious, the problem I have of remembering every little thing said to me years ago, it eats at me and I'm filled with hate because of it. Still plotting how I can get back at someone years later. I need help, what to do?

 

Find a 12 step group tailored to your issues and work a program, therapy, psychedelics, meditation.

Theres tons of avanues to explore

[Adrian colby]

@Husseinisdoingfine perhaps it would be of use to get to the core of your anger and to understand the mechanism of how it was set up in your mind as the ‘go to’ reaction in the first place. I cannot garuntee any success but I used to have a raging anger. I would hold things for a long time and cut people out of my life because of it. When I traced my anger back to the very first time it happened, I realised it was a programmed/ conditioned reaction my ‘childhood’ self had learned for survival. When I understood this, I was able to see the trigger in what a person said or behaviour towards me. Because I knew what it was, I was able to catch myself before reacting to it and the anger very quickly left me. It took a bit of mindful work but I no longer get angry at all….

 

we could try this?

[Jacob Morres]

3 hours ago, Husseinisdoingfine said:

No but serious, the problem I have of remembering every little thing said to me years ago, it eats at me and I'm filled with hate because of it. Still plotting how I can get back at someone years later. I need help, what to do?

 

the sedona method book has exercises on letting this stuff go. it deals a lot with emotional mastery principles. it's honestly quite good 

[Ulax]

4 hours ago, Husseinisdoingfine said:

No but serious, the problem I have of remembering every little thing said to me years ago, it eats at me and I'm filled with hate because of it. Still plotting how I can get back at someone years later. I need help, what to do?

 

Relate to this a lot.

Shinzen Young's noting gone mindfulness technique is helping me, at the moment.

Also, I am confident that IFS therapy can help a lot. Though need to find a skilled therapist.

[Alex_R]

so are you not able to appeal ?

[Thought Art]

This is good. This shows you the work you can choose to do on your mind and how you relate to others and yourself. 
 

People Like Byron Katie could be a huuuuuge help. I’m thinking of compiling a list of books/ audiobooks for you if you want. Would you like that?

Edited October 4 by Thought Art

[Princess Arabia]

2 minutes ago, Thought Art said:

This is good. This shows you the work you can choose to do on your mind and how you relate to others and yourself. 
 

People Like Byron Katie could be a huuuuuge help. I’m thinking of compiling a list of books/ audiobooks for you if you want. Would you like that?

This is very thoughtful of you. Somehow, something in my heart stirs when I see acts of kindness and a wiling to help instead of judging and criticizing. That's easy to do. We are still learning how to love ourselves and this shows that you are loving yourself more by showing acts of love yourself.