Who is more lustful, men or women?

[Leo Gura]

55 minutes ago, Emerald said:

Women love sex like Gordon Ramsey loves food.

Gordon Ramsey loves himself more than he loves food.

[Emerald]

1 hour ago, Leo Gura said:

Gordon Ramsey loves himself more than he loves food.

Then plug another chef with a love for food but selective tastes into the metaphor.

[Consept]

5 hours ago, Emerald said:

Let's put it this way.

Men love sex like Scooby and Shaggy love food.

Women love sex like Gordon Ramsey loves food.

Who loves food more? Scooby and Shaggy or Gordon Ramsey?

Lol yeah that's a pretty good analogy. Patrice O' Neal did a joke something like, men put their dick in a glory hole just so something happens to it they don't care what. For women sex starts when they meet a guy and they are conniseurs of it

[Leo Gura]

18 minutes ago, Consept said:

men put their dick in a glory hole just so something happens

I wish that were the case for me. I am only attracted to like 1% of women.

Edited October 3 by Leo Gura

[Basman]

Men have on average a higher sex drive.

[Consept]

1 hour ago, Leo Gura said:

I wish that were the case for me. I am only attracted to like 1% of women.

I'm with you but glory hole's do exist so some dudes are doing it 

[Leo Gura]

18 minutes ago, Consept said:

I'm with you but glory hole's do exist so some dudes are doing it 

Takes two to make a glory hole.

Every so-call Scooby-Doo lay is made possible by a woman of suppossedly superlative taste.

Edited October 3 by Leo Gura

[Buck Edwards]

What's a Scooby - Doo lay? 

[Leo Gura]

6 minutes ago, Buck Edwards said:

What's a Scooby - Doo lay? 

Ask @Emerald.

[Schizophonia]

2 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

I wish that were the case for me. I am only attracted to like 1% of women.

Could you describe the style if you dont mind ?  

Out of curiosity.

[Buck Edwards]

@Emerald What's a Scooby - Doo lay? 

[Ash55]

2 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Takes two to make a glory hole.

apparently some women really enjoins that, Takes more than tows from both genders

 

3 hours ago, Basman said:

Men have on average a higher sex drive.

women are way more implicit about it 

so even if its 50/50 or women have more desire, its difficult to know

 

Edited October 3 by Ash55

[Keryo Koffa]

13 minutes ago, Ash55 said:

women are way more implicit about it

Depends on the neighborhood.

[Something Funny]

@Buck Edwards he mean what emeral daid about men loving sex like scooby doo loves food.

Leo says that for every scooby doo sex, as in: non picky sex for the sake of sex, there is also a woman involved. So not all women are gordon ramsey.

[Buck Edwards]

5 minutes ago, Something Funny said:

@Buck Edwards he mean what emeral daid about men loving sex like scooby doo loves food.

Leo says that for every scooby doo sex, as in: non picky sex for the sake of sex, there is also a woman involved. So not all women are gordon ramsey.

Oh lol. Scooby Dooby Doo. 

[RendHeaven]

7 hours ago, Emerald said:

Let's put it this way.

Men love sex like Scooby and Shaggy love food.

Women love sex like Gordon Ramsey loves food.

Who loves food more? Scooby and Shaggy or Gordon Ramsey?

Hmmm not a fan.

There are undertone insinuations here (taking into context all your other posts on dating):

• men supposedly "love sex" in an unsophisticated, predictable, simple, base, stupid/shallow manner
• women supposedly "love sex" in a sophisticated, unique, complex, refined, intelligent/deep manner

Well get to this later, but even without reading into the subtext, your claim simply does not fit my lived experience.

Regarding women: I'll only briefly mention the endless HOARD of horny, frivolous, carefree, happy women who fuck like dogs and don't have a firmly-held identity about being a sexual gourmet critic! You must not be familiar with the Latina community in southern Arizona and Mexico (and ALL of central/south America lol).

The authentic, unrepressed sexual frivolity of women from foreign cultures may surprise you. Do these girls "not count?" Or perhaps they haven't matured yet?

I find that you have a very refined personal taste and you project that onto the entirety of female sexuality. You're not entirely wrong in doing this, but you downplay or ignore the "scooby doo and shaggy" aspects of femininity (because those are the aspects that get targeted by men. Having a "refined" sexuality keeps you safe and impervious). This is not a fair understanding of your sisters around the globe or even of your own inner Goddess.

Alright, back to the "undertone insinuations" above...

If I could boil it down to one sentence:

• I think you grossly underestimate how sincere the average man's pure sexual desire/longing is.

You will never know the depth and power of raw admiration and ecstasy a man can feel by merely fixing his eyes upon a woman - much less touching her, or getting to know her deeply (the inverse is that I will never know the depth of a woman's subjective attraction, which you frequently point out. And I completely agree, but it actually goes both ways).

Since men experience attraction within seconds (often physical) and sex is always on our minds (again, physical), I see why this seems to you as "scooby doo and shaggy."

But make no mistake that this raw, unbridled admiration, and oftentimes lust and impulse, is an endlessly deep, compelling, intelligent, and divine force. Nothing short of a true miracle.

A man's love of sex and his fascination with a new woman, which flares up unprompted, is the soul's recollection and appreciation of Infinity itself; we see in you the brilliance of Eternal Beauty (with a capital B!) in ways that neither of us will ever understand. We can also enjoy the "climax of the movie" without any buildup because we see the entire movie - or in some sense, the whole cosmos and the majesty of creation - in that one second alone.

What may seem shallow and tacky and rushed to you is inexplicably precious to me.

So let's take a concrete example of this underestimation of sincerity in male sexuality:

You (and the other intelligent ladies here) often write an elaborate breakdown about the average man's repressed shame, and how he must drop all facades and open up his heart and interact with women from a place of organic inner truth - but then in the same breath you will inadvertently shame men for attempting to learn pickup or cold approach, seeing his earnest attempts to date as somehow manipulative or insecure or insincere or reinforcing a fundamental falsehood.

It may have never occurred to you, but for a young, healthy, single man, in touch with his emotions, with no shame - running up to pretty girls and saying hi, and offering to spend time with her, is GENUINELY the highest possible degree of authenticity, truth, openness, self-embrace, surrender, and non-manipulation in that moment.

In fact, seeing that pretty girl and NOT talking to her because, "emerald on the actualized.org forum told me that I ought to focus on embracing my shame, and doing cold approach is bothersome to women - so I'm gonna fixate on personal releases without bothering anybody until hopefully a girl "organically" discovers me one day, the way Justin Bieber was plucked out from early YouTube by the music industry!" - this is what real deep-seated self-manipulation, dishonesty, perpetuation of shame, and holding on to ego looks like.

In your favored world of surrender to authenticity - happy men would actually be thrilled and blessed to initiate conversation with random happy girls, and they will do this hundreds of times, if that's what their desire commands. And lots of consenting sex will happen, and it will be apparent that both the masculine and the feminine have their brand of scooby doo (shallow, simple) and gordon ramsay (deep, complex) sexualities.

Alas, the real world is not so peachy, and nearly everyone is inauthentic.

So reading this, you might comment back that maybe "pickup" or "cold approach" isn't inherently bad if it's done from an authentic place, but perhaps your main contention is that a lot of guys are doing these contrived approaches from a "forced" place or attempting to fill the void within by leeching from the external environment.

And you know what, you're right. A lot of guys are pretty fucked up, and they have to whip up a mental frenzy just to go say hi to a cute girl (I am deeply, deeply sympathetic to this). That's clearly not the healthiest relationship to oneself or to women, so your critique is somewhat valid.

But I will tell you from direct experience that it never gets easier. As a man you can spend 10 years in retreat doing emotional release work and opening your heart, but the moment you leave your house and you see that cute girl, all that shit goes out the window and the only way you will ever talk to her is to kick into a mechanical, "action taking" gear to blast through your self-image blocks and to bootstrap initial action-taking momentum.

This takes brute force and repetition. It's an ugly process and a stepping stone (before you can authentically and freely say hi), but you cannot skip steps. If you ignore this step in favor of a more "organic" encounter, you will be permanently crippled in the degree to which you honor your own inner desires, like a lion who only knows how to catch sickly prey ("organic encounters") but can never run down the fastest, healthiest gazelle (hottie across the room who you may never see again). Such a lion could only live with himself by pretending he never even wanted the faster gazelle; pretending that there is no virtue in speed or ferocity; or convincing himself that the sickly prey is perfectly satiating and all he will ever need.

As a woman, you will have no sympathy for this condition: in fact, you may accuse me of advocating for inauthentic and harmful behaviors, and you will certainly take offense to the prey metaphor, and you will frame my claim above as being overly fixated on initial attraction without giving any thought to longevity, and I understand why you would think all of that, because your concern is for these poor girls and not for these poor boys. This here is the fundamental misunderstanding: It's not about who's right or who's wrong. That was never even the discussion. It's always been about who's concerns do you identify with? That is the only game in town, for all of us.

But this is what I mean when I say that you underestimate a man's sincerity (this seems to be a collective feminine shadow in the western developed world).

Yes, we men are horny; yes, we are often inconsiderate; yes, we can be hurtful - VERY hurtful. And I make no excuses for this behavior. But underneath all of that is a real desire to connect. And for a lot of us this desire happens INSTANTANEOUSLY, within seconds, with a sincerity which you will never understand, because frankly it would terrify you if you ever fully understood, and it likely already terrifies you even in your ignorance. So perhaps you're not meant to understand male sexuality, and that's OK. But by refusing to remember our basic goodness, it is you yourself who is torn apart.

I am well aware of the destructive and dark capacities of men and their desires.

But I hate to see the ladies here emphasizing this time and time again (often implicitly, nothing is ever said out loud).

It's never celebration or praise or real encouragement of a man's desires on our terms (and who can blame you? y'all don't owe us anything, and we haven't done anything to deserve it, and truly empathizing with us leaves you painfully vulnerable) - every post is colored ever so slightly with the following tone:

• "Men are insensitive and predatory; women are complex and vulnerable; be yourself fully, release your shame, and you will attract real love one day! (but you're a MONSTER if you go out of your way to "hunt" us! How dare you be spontaneously attracted to us, and how dare you want sex when you don't even know me yet! How insensitive! Shame on you!)"

Something about that tone just makes me really sad.

I aim to one day live in a reality where I will have nothing but pure celebration, praise, and real encouragement for women and their desires, on their terms, without being naive to their faults and shadows. But that will demand a lot of me and I will have to give more than I am currently willing to give.

[Spiritual Warfare]

14 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

The Lusty Argonian Maid

 

[Spiritual Warfare]

11 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Gordon Ramsey loves himself more than he loves food.

If you ask him to whip up something special, he’ll just serve you his best angle.

[MsNobody]

@RendHeaven me as a Latina reading this  hahaha only because we are more sexual doesn't mean that we are frivolous, I think you made a good point when you said we seek connection and oneness through sex, both men and women, and we underestimate how strong of a force sex actually is, it's life force and it's essentially what moves all of us, all the ugly that comes out of it is because of repression and shame. Like Osho said, sex uncovers not only the body but everything that is hidden.

I think latinas are more sexual because we are more connected to our femininity, with love, we are more open and accustomed to touch since we are very little. But we are very touchy with everyone, not only sexually, what I miss the most about my girl friends in Brazil is being able to touch hug and be close together, american women are more reserved and rarely touch or hug, I think as humans we need touch and connection, the worst thing you could do to a human being is to put him in solitary confinement, all the depression and anxiety of nowadays is because we are isolated, we lack touch and human connection, and because of internet we think we are connected. We are little animals who dont survive without the warmth of each other. 

On the other side I've lived with many american families and can honestly say americans barely have sex, american women tend to be very masculine and not touchy at all, and from my own experience I've suffered with american men because they have issues with intimacy, they never received love as a child and this reflects on how they relate in romantic relationships, they are usually avoidant, Im not talking about only a few men, I've dated many american men, it's all the same, I remember when I first moved to the US I thought it was super weird that couples never held hands, never touched each other in public, etc. Then after 10 years of US I made a deal with myself not to date americans. I actually have a friend from the forum and he said he was only able to get in touch with his feminine side after he lived in south america for a while, he realized how important touch is for our survival and wellbeing and a lot of his childhood was healed just from living an experiencing the latino culture. In the end its not all about sex, its about connection, but yes its about sex too, sex is good and healthy, all kinds, from the divine to the kinky, who is to say what is what? 

I loved your post because it made me see from a men's perspective, I of course love confident men and reading what you said I've never stopped to think about the effort and pain he needs to go through to reach a good level of confidence to be himself or to talk to women comfortably, it's hypocrite to like confident men and close our eyes to the work that took to get there, aka pick up. 

Another thing that you may not be able to see because you are a man, is how we women are also driven by sex, and how quickly we are sucked into it like a hypnosis, it's not only men that see beautiful women and their rational brain turns off, we are more similar than we like to see. 

In the end we are all biased towards our own gender, the least we could do is listen to each others perspective so we can grow, and for the guys who are practicing pick up I would highly recommend them going to other countries, before american women will kill your soul lol

It's so important to travel, to see many different ways that one thing can be done, to get multiple perspectives, Brazilians loooove foreigners, it would save years of doing pick up and would be more natural, given that latinas are not only sexual, we are more kind and fun too. Say whatever you want to say about latinas but we are great lol we cook good food, we love the hell out of our children, we are very close together with our friends and community, we dance like crazy, we are super fun, and we fuck like no other lol 

 

[Basman]

4 hours ago, Ash55 said:

apparently some women really enjoins that, Takes more than tows from both genders

 

women are way more implicit about it 

so even if its 50/50 or women have more desire, its difficult to know

 

The data is pretty conclusive about it. Its linked with testosterone.