Tier two: Light the cannons!

[JessicaKatherine]

So recently after navigating stage green and microdosing on shrooms from 2020 onward consistently, I began seeing a therapist to continue my healing journey. (The shrooms brought me here.) 

 

I say light the cannons as I can measurably say I have reached the beginning of stage yellow. How do I know you ask? 
 

Easy. 
 

My base survival needs have been met for so long that I’ve been able to stay home mostly for the last year and a half and study. I’ve sobered up from my mostly problematic addictions  such as sugar, pain, alcohol, cigarettes, T.V. 
 

Now that I am looking for new answers and to soothe the anxiety I’ve been patching for years because I’ve reached new levels of sobriety, I started seeing a therapist and a psychiatrist to continue my journey which made me self reflect on spiral dynamics. 
 

When I was stage orange and found Leo’s videos (“what is enlightenment” I searched in attempts to ascend my pain at the time)  it shot me into turquoise for a moment (minutes) and then it landed me into green where I then tried shrooms and acid for a few years. 

Here’s a ruler for my development:

AGE 13 and under. I was in PURPLE  I just loved my family it was relaxed perspective. 

AGE: 14-17 stage red. I was raised by functioning alcoholics. Survival mode. Love seeking. Power seeking. Self fulfillment. Finding needs being met on all levels. 
 

AGE: 18-21 stage BLUE. I was a “born again Christian” and studying Buddhism when I moved out. Answer seeking from an outside source.  I needed to find faith to make up for my lifestyle. It saved me from depression at the time.  
 

AGE :22-25 STAGE ORANGE I started my career and become comfortable with embodying consumerism and going up the corporate latter. Shopping addiction. 
 

AGE 26-31 STAGE GREEN since I had my enlightenment experience in 2018 it shot me into turquoise for a few minutes and then back down to green then I embodied green while I navigated shrooms and tripping and my social group. Purged a lot.

AGE TURNING 32 STAGE YELLOW beginning. 
I began to value help through therapy and leveraging the education and experience I can gain through that. I can measure my place on the spiral where as before everything seemed mystical. 
I am obsessed with studying spiral dynamics again because I couldn’t understand it before at stage orange/ green and I do understand now. 
 

I am integrating everything now where as before I was always struggling with my shadow ever since my enlightenment experience. I can clearly see my measures on multiple scales. I feel like giving back. I am creative. I started taking my art business seriously. 
 

I want to say thank you Leo if you’re reading this for the leverage of your work. It’s gotten me where I am at and there’s nothing like it out there.You changed my Childrens lives because I changed myself because you stayed true to yourself. 

You're a wildfire in the cusp of the human shadow, pushing us into the light, 

casting our hearts into our eyes so we can see. Thank you. 

Hoorah! 

[ryandesreu]

This is an admirable story of surviving adversity and personal growth.

I can relate to ending addiction. I remember the clear-minded and energetic feeling from being alcohol free for the first time in years, and I remember the hard work it took to get there. 

I'm wondering what your enlightenment experience was like specifically and how you interpreted at the stage you were on.

[LoseYourvelf]

Hi Jessica just replying to your thread here

You have a storage of black beans trapped in your skull/head.

You just need to release them back into the wild

[JessicaKatherine]

@ryandesreu Thank you! Great job on going through your cycle too with addiction. 
 

my enlightenment experience came when I finally had an ego death from being in emotional pain. I was collecting a lot of painful stories at the time and was trying to do mental escapism by trying to figure out what enlightenment really was. 
 

once I realized all in one moment that I’m not the body or the mind the dark night began for me. (Shadow work.) I created enough of a gap between my identities to start to get grounded in real self improvement  

 

I began to prune and chip away from a new perspective for years. 
 I used to think I was already yellow when embodying orange/green but I had doubts what that meant. Now I see that I stretch through every stage and have now started actually embodying yellow in my being and daily life and interactions and thinking. I feel more integrated and less caring about progress and now I care about putting all my pieces together. 

[JessicaKatherine]

@LoseYourvelf Thank you, friend! I’ll find better use for my black beans. 🤔😌