Existential Loneliness

[shree]

I once awakened after biting off a small piece of skin from my finger and thoughtlessly spitting it on the floor, treating it as nothing.

( It's disgusting , I know )

But then I looked at it - it started to glow in its greatness - and I picked it up with care, experiencing the holiest thing that can exist.

The thing so sacred you don’t even dare to speak its name (if it had one). The thing that could kill you in a single moment, without any effort.

I fell to my knees in awe, becoming one with it. I felt the utter loneliness, and it made me want to cry.

I am still learning to love this loneliness.

 

@Javfly33

I know you made a similar post recently, and mine is inspired by it. I'm wondering how you learned to love it and would love to hear from others with direct experience.

 

Edited October 1, 2024 by shree

[Someone here]

@shree hello.

This topic of solipsism is tricky . If haven't yet ..Watch Leo's deleted video on solipsism.  You can find it on YouTube by typing "Actualized.org solipsism ".  Especially the 2nd half of it where Leo addresses all the common tricky controversial questions regarding solipsism. 

What you have to understand is that as long as you still want clarity from "others who have experience "  then you are by definition not awake to solipsism because who exactly are you asking for clarity here if there is no one but you ?! 

This is a trap to turn solipsism into a topic of negotiation and discuss it with "others ". Because the very heart of the issue here is knowing who "others " are . This is a trap I've fallen into plenty of times because I was delusional that I've awakened to solipsism when it was just a conceptual cool nihilistic philosophy to cope with the meaninglessness of existence and the human condition.  

It does you no good to discuss this topic in a forum .

Sit down alone in a room and figure out ..who are "others "?

Do not ask others who are others .that's putting the cart  before the horse .

Edited October 1, 2024 by Someone here

[Whitney Edwards]

2 hours ago, shree said:

I once awakened after biting off a small piece of skin from my finger and thoughtlessly spitting it on the floor, treating it as nothing.

( It's disgusting , I know )

But then I looked at it - it started to glow in its greatness - and I picked it up with care, experiencing the holiest thing that can exist.

The thing so sacred you don’t even dare to speak its name (if it had one). The thing that could kill you in a single moment, without any effort.

I fell to my knees in awe, becoming one with it. I felt the utter loneliness, and it made me want to cry.

I am still learning to love this loneliness.

 

@Javfly33

I know you made a similar post recently, and mine is inspired by it. I'm wondering how you learned to love it and would love to hear from others with direct experience.

 

I  would love to have a long discussion with you about the nature of existential loneliness. It's interesting to me because I haven't experienced something like this, or maybe I have. I'm not sure what this experience really feels like. Do you get a lot of questions in mind? Is it similar to nihilism? This experience must be unique and I would love to know more. 

[shree]

4 hours ago, Someone here said:

@shree hello. "others who have experience "  then you are by definition not awake to solipsism because who exactly are you asking for clarity here if there is no one but you ?! 

 

@Someone here hi there

Well, there is a point where I need to go to job and pay bills, awakened or not, that grounds me in material world quickly.

But I see what are you aiming to, even tho, I just got some answers from "other" lol

4 hours ago, Someone here said:

@shree

This topic of solipsism is tricky . If haven't yet ..Watch Leo's deleted video on solipsism.  You can find it on YouTube by typing "Actualized.org solipsism ".  Especially the 2nd half of it where Leo addresses all the common tricky controversial questions regarding solipsism.

 

I will check that video again, thanks for the Suggestion!

 

5 hours ago, Someone here said:

@shree  

 

It does you no good to discuss this topic in a forum .

Sit down alone in a room and figure out ..who are "others "?

Do not ask others who are others .that's putting the cart  before the horse .

Honestly, I stopped chasing direct experiences since they are currently not aligned with my material life goals and make me highly nihilistic and lazy, so some chit chat about it is okay for me, even tho it doesn't address the issue directly.

[Someone here]

20 hours ago, shree said:

Honestly, I stopped chasing direct experiences since they are currently not aligned with my material life goals and make me highly nihilistic and lazy, so some chit chat about it is okay for me, even tho it doesn't address the issue directly

It's good that you're honest . These are two seperate pursuits . Hit me a PM anytime. 

If you care ..solipsism is true. And you are seeing evidence for it every single day . God is blinking her beautiful eyes to you everyday.  You just need to read the cues . I'm you . You personally can discover this .because you are  god .so if you can't do it then who the fuck can ? 

[Whitney Edwards]

You'll not find spirituality here. They simply discuss existential questions and solipsism. There's no chicken, only biryani. 

Edited October 2, 2024 by Buck Edwards

[shree]

10 hours ago, Someone here said:

It's good that you're honest . These are two seperate pursuits . Hit me a PM anytime.

 

Well, there's nothing shameful in it. I've had a several awakenings on 3 different substances and vape a relatively heavy amount of 5-MeO-DMT.

Solipsism is not a question for me.

I return to my material life every time, doing the same job, still not living my life purpose, and still not financially independent.

I see it as healthy prioritizing.

But that is off topic.

[shree]

On 10/1/2024 at 1:13 PM, Buck Edwards said:

I  would love to have a long discussion with you about the nature of existential loneliness. It's interesting to me because I haven't experienced something like this, or maybe I have. I'm not sure what this experience really feels like. Do you get a lot of questions in mind? Is it similar to nihilism? This experience must be unique and I would love to know more. 

Just take some LSD.

Something tells me you'll end up with a similar feeling.

It feels like waking up from a well-designed dream, rembering it was all just YOU.

 

Yes, it tends to make me feel nihilistic at times, as everything seems to lose its external meaning when you remember that it's all a projection of yourself.

But  in that nihilism, there’s also an opportunity to redefine meaning on your own terms.