I killed my parents - Double nn-DMT trip report

[MuadDib]

While abroad for my sister’s wedding ceremony (a joyous occasion!), my mother began expressing a desire to explore spirituality more deeply, often dropping hints and asking for help to have a psychedelic experience. My father, always pragmatic and grounded, has also shown interest in discovering “something more” as the passage of time has gradually tightened its grip on his health and vitality. I sense a struggle within him to find meaning in various aspects of his life. He's at a point of "fuggit, I don't have much to lose". While he has always been a loving father, present and supportive, he has occasionally viewed my life choices with skepticism, all the while observing with interest and respect the sincerity and rigor I bring to my spiritual practice.

Neither of them are particularly interested in metaphysics, epistemology, theology, or ontology—nor in any complex terminology for that matter. They're not stupid, far from it, but just ordinary everyday people living their lives. I intended to provide them with a meaningful experience, hoping to give something back to them through this exploration.

 

Trip Report: Mother's Experience

Preparation:
I weighed out and prepared a 50mg dose. We began our session with a round of Wim Hof breathing, setting the tone for the experience. On the third cycle, I prepared the vaporizer, warmed up the chamber, and selected a calming music playlist.

The Experience:
Sitting slightly hunched over, my mother struggled with her breathing but managed to take two decent hits. Almost immediately, she described feeling a sense of intoxication, and her visual perception shifted. The colors around her appeared muddy as she yelled “no, no, no” to herself, convinced she might be vocalizing (shouting out loud) but she remained silent. Then, with a decisive “yes,” she surrendered to the experience.

She vividly described reality fracturing into geometric, mathematical shapes, likening it to being plugged into a computer program. As she navigated through intricate tunnels and forms, the colors intensified, but she found the experience somewhat unsettling due to its inorganic nature. A masculine presence was felt, yet no direct communication occurred.

I played didgeridoo music in the background, but she later expressed a preference for African drumming and flutes. Halfway through her journey, she opened her eyes and noted that reality resembled a geometric drawing on a foundational canvas, marked by precise mathematical structures.

Though she was disappointed not to achieve a full breakthrough, her first words upon returning were, “Wow, you broke reality for me.” She left with a clearer understanding of what to expect in future sessions and hopes that improved breathing and posture will facilitate a breakthrough next time. When I looked in the bottom of the vaporizer I had made I could see that about 1/3 of the dose remained in the bottom.

 

Trip Report: Father's Experience

Preparation:
I again weighted out a 50mg dose. My father appeared slightly more anxious as we began with the Wim Hof breathing technique. After observing my mother, I filled the vapor chamber more generously for his first hit.

The Experience:
He managed to inhale but coughed slightly, becoming overly fixated on holding his breath, which affected his second hit. He later said he may not have inhaled fully, believing most vapors remained in his mouth rather than reaching his lungs.

He lay back and experienced a bright light enveloping him, accompanied by complex patterns and movements. He described a duality to his perception: while one half of reality was vibrant, the other remained somewhat unchanged, as if he was in two worlds at once. A presence reminiscent of an Egyptian woman lingered at the periphery, observing him with mild interest but without interaction.

Upon returning, he struggled to articulate his feelings or visions, indicating that he would need time—possibly weeks—to integrate the experience. While he didn’t achieve a breakthrough, he found the session mind-expanding and intriguing, though it didn’t shatter his sense of reality or alleviate any death anxiety as he had hoped.

Psilocybin and MDMA have been rescheduled for therapeutic use in Australia, and it's likely DMT will be legalized soon too for veterans affairs, reports such as these give me hope that in my lifetime there will be a restructuring of society's beliefs and attitudes towards these types of experiences. For now though, if you want to do it legally you have to travel. (:

[PsychedelicEagle]

Haha really awesome! Every time I do 5meo, or most times I should say, I have this idea of sharing the experience with my parents. I never did it, though. I havent even told them that I use psychedelics.

[manuel bon]

what a nice report! glad that you could share this with your parents

 

[Lyubov]

Really cool trip report, I don’t have this kind of relationship with my parents to do something like this with them so it’s nice to see someone does.