Being Single Is A Gift

[r0ckyreed]

Being single is the greatest gift you can give yourself. All that energy you give to maintain your relationship (which is a collective ego btw), you could give to becoming an amazing philosopher. Ofc, you can have a relationship and be an amazing philosopher, or you can become an amazing philosopher and pursue relationships, but learn to be happy without sex and relationships. If you take Buddhism all the way, you will become so detached and will hit a place where you feel happy just existing in your own solipsistic field. This field is the place where true relationships should be built from. Attachment is not love.
 

 

Edited September 28, 2024 by r0ckyreed

[manuel bon]

If you take Buddhism all the way you will most likely not have a relationship at all. Apart from the fact that it's still a religion Stage Blue of the SD (even if more open-minded), Buddhism won't teach you everything about life.

14 hours ago, r0ckyreed said:

you will become so detached and will hit a place where you feel happy just existing in your own solipsistic field. This field is the place where true relationships should be built from. Attachment is not love.

If through Buddhism you learn to be so detached you won't be able to be in a relationship. When you learn about infinite existential love and from there you decide to go into a relationship, you go into a biased egoic kind of love. And if you don't, you feel the infinite love towards your partner, but then how to differentiate it from the love you feel for the whole existence? Your partner won't be special anymore, so why even be in a relationship?

If you want to learn and grow in life you need experience, and that is also having a relationship. Being a great philosopher will not teach you what a relationship can teach you. Being in a relationship taught me that my happiness doesn't come from sex and the relationship, I didn't need to become a Buddhist or a philosopher to understand it.

[Schizophonia]

1)From Buddhist pov, wanting "be an amazing philosopher" is still ego, a samsara's distraction, and is undesirable by nature.

2)It looks life from your pov being in relationship is essentially an effort lol ; The goal is precisely to growth and having fun with a partner.

 

Honestly it looks like you're still too feminine and prefer denying the truth of your present reality, and so by extension cope with coarse retroactive formations that you don't even trust yourself ; Maybe i'm wrong but from what i remember of your post you are basically incel.

 

What needs to be clarified is what is subject to doubt, because that is really accepted simply disappears. 

Edited September 29, 2024 by Schizophonia

[Keryo Koffa]

I believe this is what you're saying, just in regards to relationships.

Classic "be stripped of your main quality to go inside and find your true value" type-a deal.

[manuel bon]

41 minutes ago, Schizophonia said:

too feminine

you say this a lot but what does it mean to you? I don't understand what is too feminine

[Lyubov]

This is a good point to be made. We as a society really build our wellbeing on shifting sands, relationships. We place our value outside of ourselves and become so attached to the changing tides we are easily toppled when they do. I’ve really gone through a lot of transformations in the last year to come out of this. I think being single is far too often looked at as a bad thing when in fact it can be incredibly powerful for self work and focus. I don’t see being single as a bad thing. I do think however having opportunities for a relationship are also great. I want to stay single for a while though after a 3+ year relationship recently came to an end. I think it’s a great way to know yourself. 

[Lyubov]

2 hours ago, Keryo Koffa said:

I believe this is what you're saying, just in regards to relationships.

Classic "be stripped of your main quality to go inside and find your true value" type-a deal.

This is the key, “go inside and find your true value” it’s essential for a long term healthy relationship 

[r0ckyreed]

3 hours ago, Schizophonia said:

Honestly it looks like you're still too feminine and prefer denying the truth of your present reality, and so by extension cope with coarse retroactive formations that you don't even trust yourself ; Maybe i'm wrong but from what i remember of your post you are basically incel.

What leads you to that conclusion?

[r0ckyreed]

42 minutes ago, Lyubov said:

This is the key, “go inside and find your true value” it’s essential for a long term healthy relationship 

Amen.

[r0ckyreed]

@manuel bon Yep. Those are the limits of Buddhism. What Buddhism gets right though is not coming from a place of attachment and neediness. We need to be mindful of our biological cravings and be aware that we don’t need sex and relationships to find our fulfillment but rather relationships are about us sharing our fulfillment each other.

[Schizophonia]

3 hours ago, manuel bon said:

you say this a lot but what does it mean to you? I don't understand what is too feminine

The main difference between genders is that men have a lower perceived stress response that women in a same context. So men can accept bigger problems, bigger truths, rather than resorting to denial (to avoid confrontation, active passive)in different forms of psychical defense mechanisms (because accepting to contemplate the truth would induce too much stress on the system). 

That's why mens' ego generally finish by limiting itself and therefore structuring itself around more complicated subjects (in "macro" in a fractal logic, from a holistic point of view, if what I say makes sense lol) that are hard for the ego to swallow in relation to women, such as spirituality, philosophy, or to a lesser extent science or even politics ; And omen will therefore prefer "smaller" problems, in relations to men.

But, for some reasons (oeudipian complex, lake of experience in general and/or lakes of testosterone spikes), men eventually can prefer acting feminine in some context.

So basically op has relationships problems, but rather that contemplate the truth ("I am unhappy of love, i need help, solutions"), he goes into denial.

It's very simple to understand : What is accepted, understood, by the energetic structure lose its tangibility and isn't a subject anymore, what you see and are concerned by are the "projection" (to take a comprehensible dual pov) of your ego's structure. So, automatically, each declaration that you do is fundamentally a recreational formation to avoid the truth. Your whole ego btw is a deny of the truth, and the "self" deception process is certainly infinite. I've never say or even think "i have to blink" because it's very obvious, but if you say "i am heterosexual" while you're actually not, something like that, well you will see this subject put in the table everywhere, you will ofc compulsively talk about it.

I know that if i'm currently compulsively respond to op, it's because the mirror is somehow strong ; It must be still a part of me which want to go to denial on some subjects, here by rationalize by insisting on the so called secondary benefits of a problem. BUT,it's still deny, because if his being was really agree to think that he wouldn't talk about it because the boarders of his ego would have evolved towards others subjects that separate himself from a more absolute truth.

 

 

Edited September 29, 2024 by Schizophonia

[Schizophonia]

1 hour ago, r0ckyreed said:

What leads you to that conclusion?

I've responded.

Edited September 29, 2024 by Schizophonia

[Rishabh R]

@r0ckyreed  Yeah it's one of the greatest gifts that one can give oneself as compared to being in a toxic relationship as healthy relationships are rare

[integration journey]

Maybe in your 20s yes but do you think in your 30s you should pursue a relationship if you want that? 

[r0ckyreed]

2 hours ago, integration journey said:

Maybe in your 20s yes but do you think in your 30s you should pursue a relationship if you want that? 

Sure. But nothing beats the relationship with Self.

I don’t want to chase. I want to attract.

[integration journey]

17 minutes ago, r0ckyreed said:

Sure. But nothing beats the relationship with Self.

I don’t want to chase. I want to attract.

That’s right✌️

[Sabth]

Only if you have a lot of money~ 

[shree]

A healthy romantic relationship doesn't require excessive energy to sustain.

Having someone who loves and cares about you is incredible and can boost your efforts toward achieving your goals in life.

Suppressing or "transcending" your natural sexual needs is misguided. Why would you want to do that?

It's true that attachment isn't love, but that doesn't mean every relationship is just attachment.

A healthy relationship exists when both people can live without each other, but choose to be together.

 

[Applegarden8]

You know, I sometimes really think so. You have the freedom to contemplate the luxury of sielence and the potential to change your life in a big way.