Finding it Difficult to Balance Work, Relationships, and Spirituality.

[HMD]

I recently got into a long-distance relationship, and I am working on getting my counseling career started while also working as a Freelance writer. 

I have to do freelance work to get money for the bills, but I also have to work on building a career as a Dietitian because that's what I really love doing. But the money I am making right now is not enough compared to the bills, so I have been putting in time to increase my income. The career also requires plenty of time and money to get the right certifications and knowledge (I already have a degree in Dietetics). 

On top of this, I am also in a long-term relationship so I have to invest time and money on that too. And finally, there is spirituality, without which I just can't function properly. 

My question here is, what would you guys recommend I do? How do I balance all of these? Are there any books that I can read that would help me in the balancing process? 

[Sandhu]

 سب چھو ڑو یار، بس کرئیر پر فوکس کرو۔

 

پیٹ نا پئیاں روٹیاں

تے سبھے گلاں کھوٹیاں

Edited September 25 by Sandhu

[Buck Edwards]

Just now, Sandhu said:

 سب چھو ڑو یار، بس کرئیر پر فوکس کرو۔

Foreign language is not allowed on the forum. So delete it. Just saving you from getting warnings lol.. 

[Sandhu]

@Buck Edwards Thank you, but just waiting for his reply😁

[HMD]

@Sandhu Wasn't expecting that lol. But well said my man, well said. 

[Princess Arabia]

For me, it's not "finally, there is Spirituality". Spirituality is all there is and everything else is a by product. I'm not saying I'm obsessed with it, because I'm not. I incorporate it into most things I do. Most of it is just knowledge and information that isn't really relevant to who you truly are anyway because the Self already is that. All that needs to be done is to remember who you truly are and to abide in that place. The rest are just practices to help you to do that. 

I can be walking down the street and hold that space. Washing the dishes, talking to a friend. When I feel myself getting impatient with something, I go within and say to myself, it's OK, everything will turn out ok, and it usually does. It's all mind stuff for me, which doesn't require for me to drop anything I'm doing because the mind is always with me. I practice in everyday life. I observe my thoughts and try not to get caught up in them. 

 It's not a "I don't have any time for, or I need to balance", for me because it's not a chore, a duty or an obligation. It's a way of life. It doesn't require any effort once you see it as who you are not something you want to become. If i want to dance the night away in a club or have drinks with friends, it doesn't mean i'm being "unspiritual" or if I'm reading a book on Spirituality, watching a video, doing spontaneous devotion or watching my breath and thoughts, it doesn't mean I'm being Spiritual. Either one of those things is just what's happening and i can return to that Eternal space where the light emanates from at any time. 

I try not to look at it as something I do, but a way of being. The ego is not who I am, I am the light of Awareness and the more I can concentrate on that and remember that, it doesn't matter what I'm doing Spiritually because all that is still the ego trying to achieve something that is impermanent and none of it is everlasting or eternal. 

[Realms of Wonder]

Hey!

I feel you, I am also in a long term, long distance relationship, working full time and building my Life-Purpose.

For me what has worked is recognizing that I will have a "spiritual" season in the future, a chapter where deep connection to reality IS the focus. For now it is meeting my basic needs. Finances, Relationships/sex, Meaning needs, Self esteem, etc..

For a long while I was meditating every day, that was a part of my morning routine which I built up over a while. But in the last 3 months I have let go of it completely, I will meditate here and there when I want to, but instead I wake up extra early and get 1.5-2 hours of creating in before I head to work.

Hope this can add some perspective, what have you been trying that has/hasn't worked?

Warmly,

Paul

[Michael569]

18 hours ago, HMD said:

I have to do freelance work to get money for the bills, but I also have to work on building a career as a Dietitian because that's what I really love doing. But the money I am making right now is not enough compared to the bills, so I have been putting in time to increase my income. The career also requires plenty of time and money to get the right certifications and knowledge (I already have a degree in Dietetics)

First of all, congrats on your choice to pursue dietetics degree. It can be an incredibly rewarding career although as you said, there is considerable expense, effort and time it takes to obtain it, not to mention the hospital & clinical experience needed - but when it works, it is beautiful and incredibly satisfying. 

What you will be up against is basically couple more years of what you're already doing - keep your freelance job to pay bills, food etc and to also fund your career transition. I've gone through a very similar journey to yours, instead my includes a corporate 9-5 career that is funding my side hassle of Nutritional Therapy as well as all my bills, future, mortgage, family etc. . I also had to go to school for couple years to retrain and pay tons of money for education and certification and CPD. 

I don't think there is one book that can tell you how to life your live to maximise efficiency, there will always be something that feels neglected and its important you make peace with that. Do your best to continue what you do without burning yourself out. 

When you go overboard, you'll feel it pretty quickly. Whenever I continue burning the midnight oil and squeezing more time to work than I should, I usually end up with a flu or something like that. Immune system gets weakened by the stress. Its a body's way of telling you to slow down. 

You'll be fine-tuning the process for years, figuring out what works and what doesn't, I don't think any of us can tell you exactly what to do. 

Some advice I found useful that might help tho: 

• understand where your money is going, analyse your top 40% expenses and identify opportunities for cost reductions where possible.
  • I found that getting one of those online banks as a virtual wallet and then paying all my expenses with it, was a great way to track because they offer amazing expense tracking functionalities .
  • For example if you notice yourself spending too much on restaurants and takeaways, then learning batch cooking will save you a lot of money and also teach you tons of recipes to share with your future patients / clients.
  • Or if there are other major expenses like expensive entertainment subscriptions, video games etc that are not in support of your career transition, those will be worth reconsidering. 
  • saying that, you still want to have some fun and joy in life so don't turn into a monk who abandons all pleasures  
• small increments of study time daily are more valuble than large chunks on weekends
  • for example you are likely to advance more if you take 60 minutes a day to study compared to studying 8 hours every Saturday. The repetition of small chunks of information helps you retain that information exponentially. You'll actually progress faster 
• splitting your day into time blocks and identifying slots where you could fit some business/study time. I'm still not great at this and it takes a lot of discipline that I haven't developed yet but whenever I do this, splitting my day into time blocks, I can always fit in some more business / study / research time. 
• This is something I discovered very late, but using something like a paper less writing tablet, like Remarkable 2 can really help you advance your game. Not only can you use it to practice different pathways, remember stuff, draft notes etc but it can pretty much replace and entire array of notebooks, pens, sheets etc. You can also take notes on downloaded lectures and even download textbooks into it and annotate. If I went to school again, I would definitely be using it daily. 
• Most 9-5 jobs have some "dead hours" daily, time when you don't have work to do (might be different as a freelanceer tho). Meaning if you can do your work efficiently enough, you might be able to squeeze in an extra 30-60 minutes slot to study here and there between your work hours without anyone noticing. Over time this can create a pretty massive compound interest of extra 10-20 hours per months
• don't neglect yourself - fitness, sleep, spirituality, stress management. All of them sometimes take a temporary hit but important to always stay on the top of them to reasonable degree.
  • With gym, I found full body training helps me save time tremendously compared to 5 days of bodypart splits. 
  • with diet, batch cooking is the best way I found so far to save money and time
  • sleep should still be non-negotiable 
  • if you notice yourself becoming agitated, sleepless and snappy around people, it is probably an indication that you're going too fast. 
• try not to put too much pressure on yourself to transition asap, this is a very long term game. Having your own health business is tough, the market is massive and marketing with a limited budget that comes from your freelance job is incredibly hard. Pace yourself slowly and try to enjoy the process as you're evolving. Because ultimately there is no goal, there is only the present moment, day by day so make the most of each and don't stress over things that aren't in your immediate control

All the best! Hope you'll find a way to make it work, we need more conscious people in the health industry filled with charlatans and quacks. 

Edited September 26 by Michael569

[HMD]

13 hours ago, Princess Arabia said:

I try not to look at it as something I do, but a way of being.

@Princess Arabia Thanks for the response. I tend to make spirituality a chore when it's just a way of being.  I needed to hear that.

[HMD]

9 hours ago, Realms of Wonder said:

Hope this can add some perspective, what have you been trying that has/hasn't worked?

@Realms of Wonder I took this approach and let go of spirituality, meditation, etc. But I have found that I slip into a chaotic mess as soon as I do that. It took me years and years to deconstruct my identity and see through its illusion. This left me with an emptiness inside, which is something that both terrified me and brought me immense joy. But as soon as I drift away from my spiritual practices, I tend to fill that emptiness with all sorts of hedonistic things. In other words, I am overly susceptible to addictions if I "let go." 

Edited September 26 by HMD

[HMD]

@Michael569  I truly appreciate you taking the time and sharing your wisdom. I will be saving this and coming back to this from time to time. Some of these are super relevant to my situation. 

3 hours ago, Michael569 said:

All the best! Hope you'll find a way to make it work, we need more conscious people in the health industry filled with charlatans and quacks. 

We really do. Right now it's a messy situation in the nutrition world. Where are you right now in your journey, if you don't mind sharing?

Edited September 26 by HMD

[Sandhu]

@Michael569 You're amazing. This will be very helpful, inspiring and empowering for the OP.

[Michael569]

On 26/09/2024 at 2:16 PM, HMD said:

Where are you right now in your journey, if you don't mind sharing?

somewhere out there  I have some income from it but like yourself, not enough to sustain me. I'm rebranding my entire business now, so I've put a lot of things on hold, but it's almost ready to be published again. 

@Sandhu cheers! 

Edited September 27 by Michael569

[Ramanujan]

Balance is a lie

its a scam

look into the book "the one thing by gary keller and jay papasan" for more info

[HMD]

@Ramanujan Thanks for the suggestion. I'll check it out.

 

[Chadders]

@HMD It’s tricky as I have a lot of things on the go

The key is discipline. Make the absolute most of the time you have to do what you need to do. Set a schedule and stick to it