Leo’s advise about dating and sex are mostly aimed towards man

[Elisabeth]

48 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

[Removed]

Thank you, I see your argument.

If true, thank god this is mostly unconscious. It isn't healthy to think of yourself or your partner as 'scraps'.

Please consider finding a way of teaching that doesn't dismiss 80% of people as scraps or mislead guys into thinking that if they aren't top 20 no woman will ever date them.

Edited September 29 by Leo Gura

[Javfly33]

13 minutes ago, Elisabeth said:

Thank you, I see your argument.

If true, thank god this is mostly unconscious. It isn't healthy to think of yourself or your partner as 'scraps'.

Please consider finding a way of teaching that doesn't dismiss 80% of people as scraps or mislead guys into thinking that if they aren't top 20 no woman will ever date them.

@Elisabeth I agree

I think I know what Leo means to say but attractive does not neccesarily mean you will be with that person. 

I know some 9-10 women that are in relationships with men which as an hetero male i find them 'atrractive' yet these women exhibit cheating behaviours because they felt attracted more to other males in that moment. 

 So basically attraction/desire does not neccesarily mean long term healthy partner compatibility.

One has to decide, are we talking about high intense desire/attraction or about estability and connection? (being a couple)

Is veeeery different.

Edited September 29 by Javfly33

[Elisabeth]

3 minutes ago, Javfly33 said:

@Elisabeth I agree

I think I know what Leo means to say but attractive does not neccesarily mean you will be with that person. 

I know some 9-10 women that are in relationships with men which as an hetero male i find them 'atrractive' yet these women exhibit cheating behaviours because they felt attracted more to other males in that moment. 

 So basically attraction/desire does not neccesarily mean long term healthy partner compatibility.

One has to decide, are we talking about high intense desire/attraction or about estability and connection? (being a couple)

Is veeeery different.

I agree one should make that distinction. However, I see how Leo's auction analogy would apply to both. It's just that there are different values at play.

If I want a relationship, I'll place value on kindness and compatibility. If I can't get a guy that's attractive, kind and compatible, I'll settle for a worse relationship.

Are guys doing the same? I think so. The ones that are looking to have a family, and there are such guys, they do.

[Leo Gura]

I'm just gonna keep quiet.

Figure it out for yourselves.

I am tired of explaining harsh truths to people only to have them get upset at me.

Edited September 29 by Leo Gura

[Elisabeth]

2 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

I'm just gonna keep quiet.

Figure it out for yourselves.

I am tired of explaining harsh truths to people only to have them get upset at me.

I get it. Thank you.
I haven't been here for a few years and likely I won't stick around. It was nice to hear from you.

[RendHeaven]

11 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

I am tired of explaining harsh truths to people only to have them get upset at me.

Heh, story of your life

[Schizophonia]

23 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

toxic "masculinity"

What energetic difference between Andrew tate who smoke a cigar and a girl who wear a garter holder ?

 

Edited September 29 by Schizophonia

[Buck Edwards]

2 hours ago, RendHeaven said:

That aggressive, dark, demon/beast energy can be wielded for good. As you maintain that there are brave and valiant men throughout history - please understand that these men are simply "wielding" their "inner rape instinct" for consciousness and unity rather than selfishness.

That's the key difference - but the actual substance is the same thing: that raw, assertive, conqueror energy is the bedrock of YANG, deep within the heart of every masculine entity. I've been calling it an "inner rapist" for the reason that its MO is to impose its will onto the universe without seeking permission from its environment. That is the true spirit of a man.

Thus, every man has the latent potential to be a rapist, that is, a desire to act his will without seeking any permission from his environment. How this manifests on the physical plane is infinitely variable, depending on his degree of self awareness and self acceptance. He could be a literal rapist, or a greedy CEO, or he could be a loving father of two kids, or an honorable firefighter, or anything in between.

I liked that explanation. 

[Buck Edwards]

2 hours ago, RendHeaven said:

Similarly, we could say that:

All women are deceptive foxes

Most women completely deny that they are a fox, and pretend to be a more pleasant animal, like a cute kitten. Repression.

Some women love the fact that they are foxes, and wrap men around their fingers to control and extract commitment, resources, etc.

 

But then there are some women who know they are cunning foxes, but pick their targets with care.

They use their deception for the greater good (maintaining social harmony, helping people to surrender to the present moment, to divert attention to beauty and peace, etc.)

Yea this reminds me of the dark feminine. 

[RendHeaven]

46 minutes ago, Buck Edwards said:

Yea this reminds me of the dark feminine. 

The feminine "deception"/indirectness/inconsistency (chaotic being) is a terrifying power.

It will lash out and react on its own. It will also heal and reward on its own. She cannot be controlled.

A feminine woman will never be 100% "truthful" or "honest" to us men in the colloquial sense - her sole loyalty is to the whims of her inner Goddess.

And it's our job as men to love that with all our hearts. Scary indeed, but doable. Takes strength.

[Etherial Cat]

9 hours ago, Emerald said:

Hey! Good to see you on here!

This is 100% accurate. And it's so frustrating that so many men think we're kidding ourselves or lying when we say things like this because they keep projecting the way their sexuality works onto us.

And it's a shame, because female sexuality is a lot more interesting than that because it tends to be geared towards a real person with unique thoughts, feelings, mannerisms, quirks, flaws, etc. And it's really geared towards a devotion of attention to that specific person with that specific personality.

But so many men try to gain intel and are like, "Um, actually... according to evolutionary biology, women ...." or "According to dating experts, women ...."

And all of that is so foreign to the way women ACTUALLY experience an organic attraction to a man in her subjective experience.

And if they could experience the actual way that women become interested in a man just once, they'd lose a lot of their insecurity around women because they'd recognize how profoundly subjective and particularized it is... and how wrapped up it is with the gestalt of a man rather than specific qualities he has.

But it's difficult, because many men rely on external validation from women to compensate for poor self esteem. And they need to weave the narrative to themselves that woman are objective arbiters of male worthiness.

So, swallowing the idea that women's sexuality is subjective, would take away the objective arbiters that could validate them.

Like if women could genuinely prefer a 5 to a 10, it would be like having a bunch of Olympic judges that say that the person who got a 5 got first place and the person who got a 10 got last place.

It wouldn't make any logical sense and it would be unfair... in this Olympic game they feel they're competing for their worth in.

But that's the way that female sexuality is. It doesn't make logical sense, because it's operating off of chemistry, resonance, and deeper seated psychological patterns. 

Hey Emerald,

It's always a pleasure to read your thoughts. I 100% resonate with what being said here.

Yeah, I definitely share your disappointment and frustration regarding this specific experience. Fortunately, this point of view only affects some men, although it does impact a significant number of young men found across various internet communities...

I think you've nailed the causes and effects that lead to this particular situation. It stems from a deeply rooted male shame that drives a desire to control the women they become involved with in order to feel secure. This ranges from the unconscious selection process of 'compatible' women to gaining a sense of control over femininity internally, which shapes the narratives we encounter here. Having the impression that the female psyche is mastered and hacked provides a sense of safety, worth, and reassurance that the 'affection' supply is obtained and controllable. However, this is just an ersatz and parody of an authentic, fulfilling relationship, which would involve a level of intimacy and vulnerability that one isn't able to engage in due to repressed shame...

And the repressed shame acts like a solid, unbreakable buffer that makes this type of talk inaudible. Hence why so many women are saying here "I don't hang around there with pleasure'. 

What surprises me is that I don’t see any evidence of functional, attractive relationships emerging from this paradigm. Instead, all I encounter are accounts of what seem to be somewhat dysfunctional, short-term hookups that likely don't contribute to emotional stability or long-term contentment for women. Much of the discourse centers on how great the sex is, which often feels like another way to boast about one's skills—in an almost self-centered, homoerotic manner.

Much of the pleasure described sounds like, 'I am so masculine; I hunted a vagina, and the said vagina was so pleased with how manly I was.' It feels as if the vagina is still asking for such a masculine encounter. Yet, there is little mention of actual enjoyment, orientation, or understanding of feminine experiences. Rarely do I see reflections like, 'Oh, this woman really opened my heart and helped me see this or that, and the connection was so great at that specific moment,' which is what a genuine dive into femininity would truly entail.

The thing is, I see plenty of online communities led by men where many women are very active. In my real life, I also observe the types of men to whom women are genuinely attracted, and it often doesn't align with the profiles described in these discussions. This is particularly true for intuitive feminine women who possess a highly developed feminine side. These women have the emotional intelligence to actively filter out non-compatible and shallow relationships, which is an inherent quality of femininity.

The feminine women that are talked about in here sounds to me more just like people with long hair, lipstick, handbags and cartoonish immature feminine features.

And from my experience, my attraction really is super subjective. Mostly, these are little things and moments that shows one's personal qualities and distinctive traits that they have no ideas about. What makes someone truly unique and different, both on the physical side and the essence side. Often, these are little acts of kindness, appreciation, joyful jokes, a laughter, some words showing a loving or protective perspective, or one way someone will hold, play with or comfort a child.

[Buck Edwards]

17 minutes ago, Etherial Cat said:

Hey Emerald,

It's always a pleasure to read your thoughts. I 100% resonate with what being said here.

Yeah, I definitely share your disappointment and frustration regarding this specific experience. Fortunately, this point of view only affects some men, although it does impact a significant number of young men found across various internet communities...

I think you've nailed the causes and effects that lead to this particular situation. It stems from a deeply rooted male shame that drives a desire to control the women they become involved with in order to feel secure. This ranges from the unconscious selection process of 'compatible' women to gaining a sense of control over femininity internally, which shapes the narratives we encounter here. Having the impression that the female psyche is mastered and hacked provides a sense of safety, worth, and reassurance that the 'affection' supply is obtained and controllable. However, this is just an ersatz and parody of an authentic, fulfilling relationship, which would involve a level of intimacy and vulnerability that one isn't able to engage in due to repressed shame...

And the repressed shame acts like a solid, unbreakable buffer that makes this type of talk inaudible. Hence why so many women are saying here "I don't hang around there with pleasure'. 

What surprises me is that I don’t see any evidence of functional, attractive relationships emerging from this paradigm. Instead, all I encounter are accounts of what seem to be somewhat dysfunctional, short-term hookups that likely don't contribute to emotional stability or long-term contentment for women. Much of the discourse centers on how great the sex is, which often feels like another way to boast about one's skills—in an almost self-centered, homoerotic manner.

Much of the pleasure described sounds like, 'I am so masculine; I hunted a vagina, and the said vagina was so pleased with how manly I was.' It feels as if the vagina is still asking for such a masculine encounter. Yet, there is little mention of actual enjoyment, orientation, or understanding of feminine experiences. Rarely do I see reflections like, 'Oh, this woman really opened my heart and helped me see this or that, and the connection was so great at that specific moment,' which is what a genuine dive into femininity would truly entail.

The thing is, I see plenty of online communities led by men where many women are very active. In my real life, I also observe the types of men to whom women are genuinely attracted, and it often doesn't align with the profiles described in these discussions. This is particularly true for intuitive feminine women who possess a highly developed feminine side. These women have the emotional intelligence to actively filter out non-compatible and shallow relationships, which is an inherent quality of femininity.

The feminine women that are talked about in here sounds to me more just like people with long hair, lipstick, handbags and cartoonish immature feminine features.

And from my experience, my attraction really is super subjective. Mostly, these are little things and moments that shows one's personal qualities and distinctive traits that they have no ideas about. What makes someone truly unique and different, both on the physical side and the essence side. Often, these are little acts of kindness, appreciation, joyful jokes, a laughter, some words showing a loving or protective perspective, or one way someone will hold, play with or comfort a child.

I think most men on the forum like a woman for more than just her hair, lipstick or handbag. I don't think it's that shallow. This is just my observation. Nowhere I saw them talking about wanting women in a shallow way. I think men on the forum and in general deeply crave feminine energy as it tends to be lacking in their lives when they are weaned of their mother's caring as they grow older. In society we expect men to be super confident and independent at an early age and many men experience isolation and loneliness and a lack of feminine figure in their lives. They want that deeply loving caring nurturing graceful feminine energy. 

 

Edited September 29 by Buck Edwards

[RendHeaven]

8 minutes ago, Etherial Cat said:

in an almost self-centered, homoerotic manner.

tl;dr:

"ur gay"

that's so fire

[Etherial Cat]

6 minutes ago, RendHeaven said:

tl;dr:

"ur gay"

that's so fire

I don’t think most men caught in that patterns are gay...

Rather, they appear to be self-absorbed in a dynamic where their emotional energy is caught in shame-cancelling loops. This focus keeps them centered on their masculinity for reassurance, often leading to a greater interest and focus in masculinity than in the feminine. 

But for a woman, it would feel almost as such they aren't interested in her, indeed.

 

[Etherial Cat]

16 minutes ago, Buck Edwards said:

I think most men on the forum like a woman for more than just her hair, lipstick or handbag. I don't think it's that shallow. This is just my observation. Nowhere I saw them talking about wanting women in a shallow way. I think men on the forum and in general deeply crave feminine energy as it tends to be lacking in their lives when they are weaned of their mother's caring as they grow older. In society we expect men to be super confident and independent at an early age and many men experience isolation and loneliness and a lack of feminine figure in their lives. 

 

As a woman who spent a lot in here, I was often reduced and framed as an irrational, emotional 'dragon of chaos'. 

[Buck Edwards]

2 minutes ago, Etherial Cat said:

As a woman who spent a lot in here, I was often reduced and framed as an irrational, emotional 'dragon of chaos'. 

If your narrative is going to be that most men are interested in women only to a superficial degree, isn't that already deeply offensive to men? 

I'm sure most men want something more in a woman than looks, as in they want the whole package, of course looks tend to hold priority for men, but they want a great personality and character along with looks. That's the vibe I'm getting from their posts. And even if they're superficially attracted to a woman's looks, it's mostly for casual sex or FWB one night stand kind of hook ups. Men who want a serious gf or a long term partner screen for much more than just looks in women. When you look at men with a reductionist lense, you end up generalizing them. 

 

[Princess Arabia]

8 hours ago, Buck Edwards said:

This is true only for criminals. The average man is a good man, what you're doing is fear mongering against men, it doesn't help. The average man is more worried about feeding his family and keeping his woman happy, not some creepy stranger in an alley waiting to rape women. You don't understand men because you aren't deeply connected with your own masculinity. This mentality that men are scary rapey wolves is pure stage red bullcrap for men who haven't evolved to stage green and above. Most modern men are highly civilized and would shudder at the thought of rape. I've been sexually harassed countless times yet several times it was men who rescued me so this thinking that men look at women with rapey eyes belongs to the dump basket. 

I cringed when I saw his comment. Especially the ripe 20yr old part. Your response was right on point. 

[Buck Edwards]

16 minutes ago, Princess Arabia said:

I cringed when I saw his comment. Especially the ripe 20yr old part. Your response was right on point. 

yea

[Davino]

3 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

I am tired of explaining harsh truths to people only to have them get upset at me.

I'll get upset if you don't tell me the harsh truths 

[bambi]

11 minutes ago, Davino said:

I'll get upset if you don't tell me the harsh truths 

How old are you Davino?