Leo’s advise about dating and sex are mostly aimed towards man

[Bando]

2 hours ago, Emerald said:

Here are some pieces of advice...

• If you don't already have this taste, acquire a taste for mature stable men who are looking for relationships and who you can have a good longterm friendship with.
• Develop a distaste for immature men who base their self-worth off of how good they are with women. Get really sensitive to these vibes, so that you can sort them right away as they won't feel contented with themselves if they aren't getting lots of validation from lots of women.
• A man who is a little bit shy and more reserved about showing interest in a woman is a green flag as long as that reservedness doesn't come from putting women too high up on a pedestal. A guy that's too smooth or confident around women and starts immediately on a romantic foot can often be a red flag as he's probably just spamming lots of women with that behavior.
• Build up a strong circle of acquaintances and friends, and develop feelings organically towards a man that you can observe over a longer period of time in your social circle.
• Avoid guys who approach you at random as they do that with lots of women, and often see 'getting good with women' as an achievement.
• Tune out from your checklist of desired qualities in a partner, and tune into the feelings and vibes you feel towards a man you've been around for an extended period of time.
• Become an expert sorter! Lots of men will approach, but you only want to give the ones a chances that you have some feelings for and that don't have any of your deal breakers.
• Develop and lean into your own unique style and persona. Guys who aren't very serious about a relationship just want a woman... any woman will do. But if you lean into your style and unique personality traits, you'll scare off the wrong ones and attract the right ones. The worst thing you can be is a crowd pleaser... as that will attract a lot of spammy attention.
• Pay attention to his values and sort based off of any red flags that indicate a tendency to devalue women or see Femininity as lesser than Masculinity.

The main this is to be social and develop a strong social circle... and to get really discerning about how you sort men. And you'll want to develop your intuition to where you're naturally drawn to men who will be healthy stable partners and were you're naturally repelled by men who haven't matured enough to truly prefer and value relationship/friendship with a woman.

And if you notice any red flags in men, I recommend avoiding spending much time with them so that you don't organically develop feelings for them.

And get REALLY picky when it comes to maturity in particular.

This is really good advice, have you thought about making more mainstream personal development on your youtube channel? It would be a good way of introducing "normies" into Shadow Work and other practices, kind of like what Leo did with spirituality.

You have a really good way of articulating ideas especially on topics regarding psychology / relationships. Maybe something like "Psychology with Dr. Ana" 

@Dana1 https://www.youtube.com/@TheDiamondNet/videos -This is her channel

[Emerald]

21 hours ago, Dana1 said:

@Emeraldthank you  I feel like this is what I needed to hear , are you à YouTuber as well ? I’d like to follow your channel if that’s the case 

Yes, I am. My channel is called The Diamond Net.

[Emerald]

19 hours ago, Bando said:

This is really good advice, have you thought about making more mainstream personal development on your youtube channel? It would be a good way of introducing "normies" into Shadow Work and other practices, kind of like what Leo did with spirituality.

You have a really good way of articulating ideas especially on topics regarding psychology / relationships. Maybe something like "Psychology with Dr. Ana" 

@Dana1 https://www.youtube.com/@TheDiamondNet/videos -This is her channel

Thank you! I actually have set up a new channel that's meant for more self-actualization oriented content. I haven't begun it yet because I have some more urgent fish to fry. 

But my plan is to niche down in my Diamond Net content to be focused mostly on Shadow Work as that's what most of the audience I've cultivated on there are interested in.

And in my new channel (called Emerald) I plan to use it for more miscellaneous wisdom and insights that help people reach their full potential.

But I probably wouldn't tackle dating advice in particular as that would tend to pigeon-hole me into cultivating a specific audience that's looking for that.

And I could give a lot of great relationship advice for women, and the topic is somewhat interesting to me. But I don't want to become known for it. This is especially true because I've always had an audience that's like 60% male and 40% female.

[Emerald]

22 hours ago, Tenebroso said:

Ok

How do the vast majority of women actually think about men?

What is not true exactly, among the things I am worrying about? That a small percentage of men are sleeping with thousands of women, stringing them along in situationships and damaging them emotionally. Leaving them jaded and angry at men who can't even get a date. You deny this?

I do indeed deny this! This thing that so many men believe isn't actually true. 

It's just part of the way that grifters in the Manosphere capitalize off of men's insecurities and shame by selling themselves as a solution to a problem that doesn't actually exist. 

They tell men "If you're not in the top 20% of men, no woman will ever like you. So, buy my program to become a top 20% kind of guy!" Or if you're on a black pill channel they'll say, "Let's face it, you're hopeless. Send in your picture and pay me money and I'll rate your face to tell you how hopeless you are."

These Manophere grifters are down-right predatory and prey on a man's weaknesses and teaches him false narratives about reality that will worsen his relationship with women.

Of course, there are women who exist that want to go after a guy for his status, money, fame, etc. And of course, gold-diggers exist. But these women are in the minority.

Most women aren't going for the top 20% of men. Most women tend to organically get attracted to a man that is about at the same level as them. One tendency that women have is to try to look for their match.

And most couples are about equivalent in terms of age, attractiveness, wealth, intelligence, etc.

And this is easy to spot if you look at the world... instead of at the narrative that's been fed to you.

Look around at all the married men you've ever known. Are they all (or even most) in the top 20% of guys?

If you pay attention to how reality actually works, you'll be able to let go of these silly narratives and actually be able to have normal interactions with women without tons of shame popping up.

[Leo Gura]

I don't make dating advice for women because I don't have expertise in that area.

The reason I made dating advice for men was because I had a lot of direct experience with how the process works for men, but I don't have the from the woman's side.

Of course I know women struggle a lot to find good men.

Edited September 25 by Leo Gura

[How to be wise]

On 24/09/2024 at 5:44 PM, Dana1 said:

I understand how that could happen ,  which video is it exactly @Raze ? 

 

[CARDOZZO]

On 9/24/2024 at 2:35 PM, Tenebroso said:

Ok

How do the vast majority of women actually think about men?

What is not true exactly, among the things I am worrying about? That a small percentage of men are sleeping with thousands of women, stringing them along in situationships and damaging them emotionally. Leaving them jaded and angry at men who can't even get a date. You deny this?

 

I get what you are saying.

Why don't you become an empiricist or a scientist?

Start observing dating through that lens.

What you didn't experience for yourself, you don't believe it.

Forget about opinions on the internet.

I challenge you! 😉

Approach 50 woman asking if they would go on a date with you.

No expectations, just to try it out.

Edited September 26 by CARDOZZO

[Princess Arabia]

On 9/24/2024 at 1:24 PM, Emerald said:

A man who is a little bit shy and more reserved about showing interest in a woman is a green flag as long as that reservedness doesn't come from putting women too high up on a pedestal. A guy that's too smooth or confident around women and starts immediately on a romantic foot can often be a red flag as he's probably just spamming lots of women with that behavior.

 

On 9/24/2024 at 1:24 PM, Emerald said:

Avoid guys who approach you at random as they do that with lots of women, and often see 'getting good with women' as an achievement.

 

On 9/24/2024 at 1:24 PM, Emerald said:

Become an expert sorter! Lots of men will approach, but you only want to give the ones a chances that you have some feelings for and that don't have any of your deal breakers.

 

On 9/24/2024 at 1:24 PM, Emerald said:

Pay attention to his values and sort based off of any red flags that indicate a tendency to devalue women or see Femininity as lesser than Masculinity.

Yes, yes, yes, yes. All others too, but these are the ones I relate with 100%. I will say though, that it all depends on the approach. I can tell the ones that approach multiple women just for the sake of approaching or if they are approaching me because they really are into what they see. Personality usually comes later as no one really knows what you're like until they've at least gotten to know you a bit. 

What I can sense, though, is if a guy has gotten to know you a bit first on a platonic level (without coming on to you sexually or even being too aggressively flirtatious in the beginning) and then asks you out. Shows he's not just about sex and wants to get to know you more. I ignore just about every guy that cat calls, have pick-up lines, especially if they are corny and generic, and the ones that asks me if I have a boyfriend or if i'm married first thing out of his mouth. I also ignore guys when the first thing out of his mouth is of a sexual nature. 

Edited September 26 by Princess Arabia

[Princess Arabia]

@TenebrosoI have seen from you time and time again from your comments that there is something inside of you that subconsciously don't want to be in a relationship with women. There's something there, and I can sense it. This didn't come from one or two or even three comments you've made, but overall. You show no signs of trying to change your belief systems and are intent in carrying them on to show your points. You speak with such conviction and without proof of the majority of the people in existence; mostly about what you've seen on social media and maybe what you've seen in your own experience. I've said to you before that you will constantly see circumstances that matches your beliefs as that's how the Universe and the brain's RAS system works.

I can come on here and rant about beliefs that i have about men in general and how men are this and how the majority of men do this and that and how they are and blah blah blah, but I don't because I'm aware they are my own beliefs; and they are not true. All beliefs are false and it's up to us to start believing things that will serve us in order for us to start to see Reality bend in a way to suit those belief systems. Carrying on about what I don't like about men and blah blah, will only cause me to see more men with those behaviors end up in my experiences. Not to say, they won't pop in; but they will be quickly eliminated just from the fact that our frequencies doesn't match. It's the same as how people find this forum because it's frequential. Gravitational pull at work.

You constantly say the same kind of things but yet, nothing in reality stays the same. It's forever changing. Only thing seems to be the same in your experiences is your beliefs about how you feel about men/women relationships. It's been like that for quite some time. That shows me, you need to get into that subconscious mind of yours and change the programming. 

Edited September 26 by Princess Arabia

[Elisabeth]

21 hours ago, CARDOZZO said:

I get what you are saying.

Why don't you become an empiricist or a scientist?

Start observing dating through that lens.

What you didn't experience for yourself, you don't believe it.

Forget about opinions on the internet.

I challenge you! 😉

Approach 50 woman asking if they would go on a date with you.

No expectations, just to try it out.

What's your hypothesis that you want to test with this approach? That it's easy to get a date by just approaching en masse?

You could end up reinforcing that poor guy's beliefs. Because most women don't go on dates with guy that have no serious interest in them, specifically. We won't feel well if we're one of fifty. A scientific experiment.

I'll argue an alternative hypothesis. I'll argue that approaching one girl at a time, girls that you've at least had an interesting conversation with, girls that you are interested in because they are fun and share common interests, gives you much better chances.

It's a myth that men approach and women select. For serious relationships, men have to choose just as carefully. We're talking about a match of both chemistry and personalities here, a match that will allow two people long-term cooperation.

[CARDOZZO]

1 hour ago, Elisabeth said:

What's your hypothesis that you want to test with this approach? That it's easy to get a date by just approaching en masse?

You could end up reinforcing that poor guy's beliefs. Because most women don't go on dates with guy that have no serious interest in them, specifically. We won't feel well if we're one of fifty. A scientific experiment.

I'll argue an alternative hypothesis. I'll argue that approaching one girl at a time, girls that you've at least had an interesting conversation with, girls that you are interested in because they are fun and share common interests, gives you much better chances.

It's a myth that men approach and women select. For serious relationships, men have to choose just as carefully. We're talking about a match of both chemistry and personalities here, a match that will allow two people long-term cooperation.

My hypothesis is that men in general are extremely brainwashed by youtube, reddit, redpill, blackpill, incel philosophy.

What I want is that he gets out of his mind and go to the real world to talk to woman. I don't want to reinforce any belief.

I'm proposing he develops a scientific lenses to cut all the bullshit (manosphere content) he is being exposed to without empiricism and direct experience.

It is actually sad that just few women on earth really knows/interested on what is going on with men in general. One of them is @Emerald

The majority of woman is doing TikToks to laugh, expose and shame men that they don't approach.

They want to judge but they don't want to understand. (Not all women but most of them)

Most men (young adults) these days are extremely isolated, sad, no friends, no social life, consuming porn, junk food and gaming on their parents basement. (I am not saying that is the case for @Tenebroso)

They start consuming manosphere content, become bitter and start judging women like nazis.

One thing I can say (I'm average on looks not a Brad Pitt) - It is hard to date these days if you are not actively going out, specially if you don't like traditional means to get a date (IG, Tinder, Bumble) and if you don't have a social media presence (Good Pictures, Followers).

Women are receiving a lot of attention on social media and it is logical they will become more selective. That is why @Leo Gura advises to go out and to forget online game. A lot of men these days are completely invisible to women (online) and they don't have the skill to approach, talk, attract women in real life.

What do you think will happen? 

They are full of sexual energy, horny, bitter. They try to talk to women online and get rejected. They don't know how to talk to woman in real life.

Learned helplesness, sadness, introversion, shame, guilty.

This is how you create a mass shooter/suicidal male.

It is really sad to see what society is becoming.

Edited September 26 by CARDOZZO

[Princess Arabia]

4 minutes ago, CARDOZZO said:

This is how you create a mass shooter/suicidal male.

Have to stop you here. This, to me, is justifying and blaming. No matter how society is, no one is responsible for someone else's actions. When others see this type of rhetoric who are mentally deranged, they might think it's OK to go ahead and commit their atrocious acts since it's "them" that created me. That's definitely taking the load off of taking responsibility for one's own actions. 

I do understand what you're trying to get at, but I still think no one created them but themselves. 

[Princess Arabia]

@Dana1I agree with what you're saying but that's why there are other experts and sources to get different information from and to not put all our eggs in one basket. 

[CARDOZZO]

19 minutes ago, Princess Arabia said:

Have to stop you here. This, to me, is justifying and blaming. No matter how society is, no one is responsible for someone else's actions. When others see this type of rhetoric who are mentally deranged, they might think it's OK to go ahead and commit their atrocious acts since it's "them" that created me. That's definitely taking the load off of taking responsibility for one's own actions. 

I do understand what you're trying to get at, but I still think no one created them but themselves. 

Sure, I agree 100%

I am just exposing a POV. It is a partial truth, perspective, broad vision.

The problem is men who are on this situation are on a downward spiral.

[Princess Arabia]

1 minute ago, CARDOZZO said:

Sure, I agree 100%

I am just exposing a POV. It is a partial truth, perspective, broad vision.

The problem is men who are on this situation are on a downward spiral.

Sure. Just wanted to point that out.

[Elisabeth]

8 hours ago, CARDOZZO said:

My hypothesis is that men in general are extremely brainwashed by youtube, reddit, redpill, blackpill, incel philosophy.

What I want is that he gets out of his mind and go to the real world to talk to woman. I don't want to reinforce any belief.

I'm proposing he develops a scientific lenses to cut all the bullshit (manosphere content) he is being exposed to without empiricism and direct experience.

Then we're fundamentally in agreement!
 

8 hours ago, CARDOZZO said:

One thing I can say (I'm average on looks not a Brad Pitt) - It is hard to date these days if you are not actively going out, specially if you don't like traditional means to get a date (IG, Tinder, Bumble) and if you don't have a social media presence (Good Pictures, Followers).

I had to laugh about "traditional means". Traditional means to me are what I said: Meet people in real life (through school or work, hobbies, existing friend circles), people you have something in common with, and only invite someone on a date if you already like them.
Online dating is good if your social options got limited, which does happen for many people later in life when school is no longer a thing and most friends are already paired off.
(That's what I see - I do agree I have a very European perspective, and social isolation of the youth may be much worse in the US.)

The only thing I was worried about is that I view the "approach tons of women" thing as one of the myths. If it does not work, he might go "See? Women don't want ordinary guys like me. I've proven it." - while he only reason he's been rejected because there was no prior connection at all.

Thank you for your sad post.

Edited September 27 by Elisabeth

[Leo Gura]

Ancient Means = talking to a woman.

Warning: only for Boomers.

Edited September 27 by Leo Gura

[PenguinPablo]

On 9/24/2024 at 0:02 PM, Emerald said:

This is a perspective that's very out of touch with how most women think about men.

Well can you elaborate because evolutionary psychology indicates otherwise...

 

[CARDOZZO]

5 hours ago, Elisabeth said:

had to laugh about "traditional means". Traditional means to me are what I said:

Things are not the same post-COVID. Digital world is the new offline, unfortunately.

The majority of humans spend their time (social life, working, hobbies, gaming)  on screens rather than touching grass.

5 hours ago, Elisabeth said:

Thank you for your sad post.

I don't know what to say about it but it seems irony  

Edited September 27 by CARDOZZO

[CARDOZZO]

5 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Ancient Means = talking to a woman.

Warning: only for Boomers.

These days we only talk to AI girls.

They never reject and always appreciate