I want multiple girlfriends

[eos_nyxia]

On 2024-09-28 at 5:53 PM, RendHeaven said:

still chose one woman above all others EMOTIONALLY, yes. Sexually, no. I PROMISE he was banging the maid on occasion, and of course that is left out of history books and folklore lol.

History books? And what would be the motivation for this being left out, since it is so very often written in? Like literally, it was what was expected and no one batted their eye? Was that also women and feminized men editing history books? Lol.

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And discreetly banging the maid on the side does NOT diminish the true love he has for his chosen one. This is unequivocally true but a lot of women (and feminized men) have trouble accepting it because of thousands of years of social programming.

It makes zero sense for an abundant, attractive, desirable man who wants to have sex with hot girls to suddenly NOT have sex with hot girls just because one woman is a cut above. That's like you really learn you love pasta one day and you stop eating all other dishes forever. Makes no sense. No matter how much you love pasta, at some point you're gonna crave something else, and that's not a problem. You can eat the whole buffet and still cherish your favorite (if anything, that variety provides quality contrast and further elevates the allure of your chosen dish).
Men with testosterone can uncouple sexual desire and emotional desire in clean halves.

Right, and it also makes zero sense for abundant, attractive, desirable women who want to have sex with hot men not to, if they also have the ability to fulfill their desire without consequences. Why do you think women have been punished and ostracized for so long for being "whores" and "sluts", especially before the sexual revolution? It's because some women are more promiscuously inclined and have a very high, impulsive sex drive (just like some men likely have an intrinsically higher sex drive than other men). I had best friends like this growing up, and they knew how to work their way around the system to avoid being treated badly due to "developing a reputation", which is especially an issue in high school. Lots of stuff gets hidden.

At that age, I certainly didn't know that I had more in common with them than I realized, but I did make very different choices over the long term. (For example, I've never given a shit about who other women find attractive, and I naturally tend to be attracted or very open to a wide variety of men on a physical level very frequently, but it's the personalities and ... entitlement I could really wish I could leave at the doorstep, including the "pre-selected" men, especially if they have a worse attitude.)

I don't even identify as monogamous as a sexual orientation, so it's not like I'm arguing for universally monogamy-enforcing viewpoints. If anything, I'm less monogamously inclined by nature than my partner, both emotionally and sexually. Some people are just better than the alternative though.

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It's perfectly logical to love a woman, have mindblowing tantric sex with her, turn off your emotion and have caveman sex with her hot sister who you barely know. That's how men think and feel, and we would all do this if it were socially acceptable and celebrated (and the sister was consenting ofc).

Look. I don't think men in general are thinking about having mindblowing tantric sex with a woman period, because that would require patience and an attention span,  getting to know one person's body, mind, and emotions well enough in order to reach into something transcendental.

To put it more simply, from a personal perspective: many men in general, they can't fuck well.  (Not even of the caveman variety, though seriously.... why not both in one sexual session with one person?)

I don't have to fuck them to know this, their sloppy attitude and lack of truly caring about a woman's pleasure and experience, and also not being able to be present with their own bodies and emotions, it makes that clear enough.  Many men with egos think they can fuck... but do not have the necessary things. How can they, when they don't have the heart and soul to put into it? The eyes to see clearly? But without that, pure primal intuition tells me what I need to know. Also, other women's stories.

Thinking that they can make up for that with other things... status, women thinking they're hot, money, bla bla bla bla....

Like great, they STILL can't fuck. (Or love well, by extension, because the way in which our bodies, minds, hearts, and imaginations are intertwined.) I wonder when the women having sex with them will wake up and realize they're getting grifted and being fed something completely insubstantial, like candy-flavoured air (at best). But then, it's hard to miss something you've never had, I guess.

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The reason you don't see this kind of free-for-all debauchery is because - who you can or cannot have sex with is highly controlled in society, and implicitly so. Nowadays you wouldn't dare touch the sister of your lover, much less a stranger (even if SHE was making moves on you!) because that will upset your lover, and you don't want to risk social backlash.

More than ever, I am willing to accept that there are at least some people who do not feel this way strictly because of societal conditioning, and are capable of making up their own minds despite any conditioning there actually is, that have thoroughly enough come to terms with their primal urges, and know their mind, emotions, and instincts sufficiently to judge this to be true... and for this to be accurate. I accept their personal truth.

 

Edited September 30 by eos_nyxia

[eos_nyxia]

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But if you were the king of the universe and nobody had any say over your lifestyle choices, of COURSE your lady's tantrums wouldn't stop you.

"Uncynical answer": seeing someone that you genuinely love be destroyed or negatively impacted, and thinking before you stick it in (or get it stuck in you), is motivation enough for a number of people. And clearly not for a number of others. (Dave Grohl lately lol, unless they have some secret private arrangement)

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Is that sexist? Yeah probably. There is an inconsiderate element to hyper-masculine sexuality (which is precisely what makes it dangerously attractive lol). But sexual relations has always been an all-out war. "The good men who wouldn't do that" are all domesticated, for better or for worse.

Again, so is "uncontained female hypersexuality".

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You are raging against monarchs past who had poor spiral development (purple/red/blue). Nowadays in developed western nations (orange+) women will retaliate loudly and a man's selfishness will NOT fly (and this is a good thing!) so you are preaching to the choir.

I'm not sure what agenda you think I have, other than to point out various things which don't fit neatly into your particular narrative. Including the all the men you say are feminized/ brainwashed/ whatever, which I am not convinced is actually the case, especially in retrospect. (Originally I had this "all men want multiple women openly or secretly" narrative.) I will trust the words and actions of the few men that I have known closely and for a long time over others, naturally.

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And yes, you can still build authentic love and commitment even with this dynamic. Plenty of people have done this already, I'm just reporting the facts.

The only "healthy dynamic" you can probably build is with women who have a fetish (which very often comes with a lot of BAGGAGE which doesn't fit into anyone's fantasies, because the reverse is also most often true with men as well, with the "wife sharing" fetish). Or else you most often get the very young, naive, and very traumatized. If what you're getting is any of the latter, no woman with self-worth and self-esteem is going anywhere near that. In that case, enjoy dealing with that or throwing them out when you're done with them? (Or alternatively, them realize that they ought to be getting better elsewhere.)

Oh, maybe you're in a culture that is fine with mutual or one-way infidelities in a "don't ask or tell" way. Personally, I find the lack of openness and honesty to be highly dysfunctional.

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But regarding a modern harem where multiple women willingly choose to stay with one man long term (without coercion), any woman has the potential within her to enjoy that arrangement with the understanding that she also has the free will to date multiple guys (if she so desires)

This might come from the same perspective for a male who has a certain kind of power fantasy, but it is not at all the same from a female perspective. How can you compare the "modern harem" to the historical forced harem, if the other woman also probably has her own "harem" and the choice to leave?

That's just everyone fucking around and likely that's pretty egalitarian by default. Aka. the "Sex at Dawn" scenario. Naturally, maybe that still involves lots of women swarming around one man (IDK), but the reverse is probably true too (men swarming around conventionally attractive, sexual, socially open, charismatic women).

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How long have you been sexually exclusive with this man?

About 15 years, with some time taken off in the middle to sort myself out. About the same amount of time it took for me to believe him truly and unconditionally, unfortunately.

Edited September 30 by eos_nyxia

[shree]

7 hours ago, Jannes said:

 

7 hours ago, Keryo Koffa said:

Yes, sounds epic, but my current adventure level is already set to "extreme".

[RendHeaven]

2 hours ago, eos_nyxia said:

To put it more simply, from a personal perspective: many men in general, they can't fuck well. 

2 hours ago, eos_nyxia said:

"Uncynical answer":

haha fair

2 hours ago, eos_nyxia said:

seeing someone that you genuinely love be destroyed or negatively impacted, and thinking before you stick it in (or get it stuck in you), is motivation enough for a number of people. And clearly not for a number of others. (Dave Grohl lately lol, unless they have some secret private arrangement)

Which is why a non-monogamous man should never make false promises. It's always these stupid horny guys who say "baby it's just you and me forever" and then promptly cheat. Gross.

2 hours ago, eos_nyxia said:

Again, so is "uncontained female hypersexuality".

Yes. I'm fixating here on the male POV to answer OP's desire, but there is a whole realm adjacent to this discussion about what the hypothetical feminine queen of the universe would do given 0 social restrictions

2 hours ago, eos_nyxia said:

I'm not sure what agenda you think I have, other than to point out various things which don't fit neatly into your particular narrative.

Yes in hindsight I don't remember why I said you were "raging against the monarchs" lol. I was being dramatic.

2 hours ago, eos_nyxia said:

Including the all the men you say are feminized/ brainwashed/ whatever, which I am not convinced is actually the case, especially in retrospect. (Originally I had this "all men want multiple women openly or secretly" narrative.) I will trust the words and actions of the few men that I have known closely and for a long time over others, naturally.

How would you know the difference between a man who has been repressing his desire for multiple women his entire life VS a man who genuinely only seeks one woman? How would the man himself even know?

2 hours ago, eos_nyxia said:

The only "healthy dynamic" you can probably build is with women who have a fetish (which very often comes with a lot of BAGGAGE which doesn't fit into anyone's fantasies, because the reverse is also most often true with men as well, with the "wife sharing" fetish). Or else you most often get the very young, naive, and very traumatized. If what you're getting is any of the latter, no woman with self-worth and self-esteem is going anywhere near that. In that case, enjoy dealing with that or throwing them out when you're done with them? (Or alternatively, them realize that they ought to be getting better elsewhere.)

I encounter this argument a lot. A lot of currently monogamous women refuse to acknowledge the potential that even they themselves could be polyamorous under the right circumstances with the right man. They quickly draw a mental boundary which segregates polyamorous people from "normal people like me" with labels such as "traumatized, fetish," etc.

I'm not necessarily suggesting that you're right or wrong (I'm open to you being right), but rather that your arguments align with arguments I hear from other women who very evidently try to preserve their self-generated sense of monogamous uniqueness (it's an unconscious identity-survival mechanism)

2 hours ago, eos_nyxia said:

Oh, maybe you're in a culture that is fine with mutual or one-way infidelities in a "don't ask or tell" way. Personally, I find the lack of openness and honesty to be highly dysfunctional.

Nah, I grew up in America and right now I live in Japan. I do not advocate for lying to women.

If I'm seeing multiple women, every girl clearly knows this, and if she doesn't like that, she is free to fly away.

You would be surprised at how stable, sincere, cute girls will stay by your side for years with this arrangement, so long as you NEVER control her and you never lie (oh and you have to make her cum regularly lol this is non negotiable).

Basically, attraction + FEELING VERY SAFE = she genuinely likes you and has no reason to walk away

3 biggest reasons she will say no to this offer:

1. she's just a really jealous person
   1. I generally avoid these girls. plenty of hot, sincere, non-jealous people in the world!
2. she feels the NEED to get a hubby ASAP
   1. generally women in their 30s. If your goals don't align, have a bit of (consenting) fun and part ways
3. the guy shows his colors and she says fuck u
   1. guy brought this on himself. stop being manipulative.

 

2 hours ago, eos_nyxia said:

How can you compare the "modern harem" to the historical forced harem, if the other woman also probably has her own "harem" and the choice to leave?

That's just everyone fucking around and likely that's pretty egalitarian by default. Aka. the "Sex at Dawn" scenario. Naturally, maybe that still involves lots of women swarming around one man (IDK), but the reverse is probably true too (men swarming around conventionally attractive, sexual, socially open, charismatic women).

because the swarm around the man is always celebrated and cherished, while the swarm around the woman is largely pests and nuisances. therefore in a "sex at dawn" scenario generally speaking the man is thrilled (encouraging the swarm), and the woman is annoyed (rejecting the swarm)

Yes, when spelled out in this way, there is a clear male advantage to this arrangement. Girls who cannot handle it will leave of their own free will, and I will cherish their memory.

2 hours ago, eos_nyxia said:

About 15 years, with some time taken off in the middle to sort myself out. About the same amount of time it took for me to believe him truly and unconditionally, unfortunately.

Wow! I am rather fascinated by marriages that last 10+ years, especially when the sexual intimacy is still strong (you must understand this is very, very rare in 2024)

How is your oath different from what most people are doing?

Edited September 30 by RendHeaven
minor corrections

[eos_nyxia]

For the record, I'm sure that there are people out there who are capable of pulling it off (men with multiple women) in a harmonious way, and maybe it could be an actual win-win situation for all. But I'm pretty "equal opportunity" when it comes to gender, I actually do think that the opposite is true as well (multiple men with one woman, where the men aren't beaten down or hoping to kill each other). It's kind of hard to stuff all of human sexuality into a neat little, gender essentialist evo-psych narrative. But while very few cultures are known for polyandry, at least a few more are known for wife swapping (the Inuit, and some African tribes, to my awareness). Here with our cultural baggage, I think people have trouble conceptualizing of wife-sharing without cuckoldry or some sort of belief in the inherent shame and emasculation of it.  (When in reality, there are also people who view "wife sharing" as a sort of dominant power move. A separate fetish from cuckholdry, IMO.)

Honestly I wish them good luck, for everyone to be happy and fulfilled;  I'm not just trying to shit on men who want more, lol.

But unless you truly love women as wholes, and not just their bodies and you have a NEED to be around femininity constantly, that it is moreso a pleasure and a joy rather than something you look down on or revile (openly or not)...  how would this even work? How will you satisfy them and make them want to stay in the long term? In other words, if it does not truly come from a sort of compulsive need to "love" with your whole soul (albeit in a very physical way) rather than hate for women as they are and a miserly, possessive greed, what is actually being offered of sustenance? How will you be able to sustain this long term without driving yourself insane, with women being women, and women being women together with each other?  

 More than anything I'm not easily convinced by people's armchair anthropology/ evo psych stuff. Like if I'm going to go that way, if anyone is, you might as well read actual academics, for all their flaws and shortsights.

As for throwaway armchair theories of my own: men with multiple women who don't end up feeling forced or bamboozled in some way? Likely this actually isn't for hypermasculine types who don't have developed "feminine" aspects that they are at peace with, if it just involves desire and attraction, and not force or coercion of some sort.

Like stereotypically, who do women throw themselves at?

It's not Chad-warlord (this is more of a stereotypical male wet dream), it's those femmy artist types that some men scoff at....

 

Those men are not for me, but that doesn't matter in this discussion.

Edited September 30 by eos_nyxia

[RendHeaven]

11 minutes ago, eos_nyxia said:

Honestly I wish them good luck, for everyone to be happy and fulfilled;  I'm not just trying to shit on men who want more, lol.

I can tell! you are sincere, you bring sharp, appropriate, relevant counter points. you are curious

13 minutes ago, eos_nyxia said:

But unless you truly love women as wholes

This is really important

13 minutes ago, eos_nyxia said:

How will you be able to sustain this long term without driving yourself insane, with women being women, and women being women together with each other?  

not a good idea to have your girls under the same roof (in fact, horrific idea and a total fantasy)

17 minutes ago, eos_nyxia said:

More than anything I'm not easily convinced by people's armchair anthropology/ evo psych stuff.

Agree. Everything I've been saying has been done by men I know, and let's just say I have some personal experience as well.

19 minutes ago, eos_nyxia said:

Likely this actually isn't for hypermasculine types who don't have developed "feminine" aspects that they are at peace with, if it just involves desire and attraction, and not force or coercion of some sort.

Good theory. I would peg myself at ~80% masculine, ~20% feminine (and in japan, I have to really play up the feminine because the girls are so much more tiny and shy. my masculine western aura is like a wall of pure intimidation unfortunately! I literally do visualizations of being a teddy bear before going on dates)

100-0 would NEVER work, because feeling and safety are so critical for nourishing a woman's spirit.

50-50 would also never work because she needs that sexual magnetism and grounded/leadership

I would say any ratio between 70-30 to 90-10 is ideal, depending on your personality, your age, your country, etc.

[Schizophonia]

10 hours ago, RendHeaven said:

If you've ever watched porn and you had multiple tabs open, that's a glaring sign that you would enjoy having sex with multiple women.

 

No, it's because a video is fixed and therefore only conveys a limited amount of affect.
With a “real” woman, it’s different every time.

If like most guys who fantasize about asian women it's because they seem promiscuous/easily submissive, well you don't hold them in esteem and you'll always want to go see another girl, because there isn't much intimacy in your relationships.

Estrogen makes you polygamous, wanting to flirt with women of all ages and ethnicities everywhere, because you become too anxious to let yourself go with someone you really care about.

Edited September 30 by Schizophonia

[eos_nyxia]

19 minutes ago, RendHeaven said:

Which is why a non-monogamous man should never make false promises. It's always these stupid horny guys who say "baby it's just you and me forever" and then promptly cheat. Gross.

Agreed. Lying, bad.

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How would you know the difference between a man who has been repressing his desire for multiple women his entire life VS a man who genuinely only seeks one woman? How would the man himself even know?

A lifetime ago, I would have said that all of the men who just wanted one woman were delusional, even to the point of gaslighting themselves. For me, it was the test of time that convinced me completely. Even years ago, I told my now-husband that I wanted him to be completely open with me about his sexual desires (and vice versa), to the point where I was poking and prodding him about it a lot. I think he found it frustrating and probably annoying to not be taken at his word. But we explored and talked about the prospect of an open relationship years ago, and again semi-recently.

In retrospect, many years later (within the last 5), he said something like... he saw my picture online, and he somehow knew that I was "it". He had found "it". We met through an online social network site in a different era, but did have some mutual acquaintances.

I said something like: that sort of conviction is probably one of the emotionally bravest things I've heard about, ever. (Like, by my own admission, this is not a good emotional self-preservation strategy AT ALL.) Admirable to be that committed to something you believe is worth it, but kind of crazy and perhaps suicidal. (After all, how many people thought they had found "it" but just ended up being wrong?)

He said something like, it's not really bravery. Deep down, I know there was never any other real choice. It was always just YOU.

To be honest, it is not something I fully understand, especially he was also a brutally cynical teenager/ young adult in so many ways. But every day, I am grateful that he believed in me in an unwavering way. I know the value of such a thing and I would be stupid to treat that as disposable, especially when I know it is the real thing. I wish I was certain back then. The odds were not in our favour.

In retrospect, without my own original biases, perhaps I would be able to properly trust my gut and intuition (which otherwise has never failed me), and would also carefully watch what people say vs. what they do, as well the energy they project. The longer you can observe people at close quarters and observe for signs of inconsistency, the better. Generally speaking, the truth always comes out. Very very few people are world-class liars at lying to both themselves and others. IMO that's a very special skill. It's also exhausting to keep up and eventually crashes down. And TBH, even world-class liars seldom can't be assed to fully hide their own selfishness.

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I encounter this argument a lot. A lot of currently monogamous women refuse to acknowledge the potential that even they themselves could be polyamorous under the right circumstances with the right man. They quickly draw a mental boundary which segregates polyamorous people from "normal people like me" with labels such as "traumatized, fetish," etc.

More than anything, I do worry about women and girls. I feel protective of them and I don't want them to get screwed over, especially when it leads to permanent emotional damage. I see the damage it can cause, and where the bitterness, defensiveness, and anger come from. That's mostly why I'm being abrasive. I was the "mom friend" of my various friend groups growing up (until I stopped having so many female friends and instead focused more on boys). 

I'd say that I have often felt the same way about boys/ men, but I feel like my concern doesn't mean much if I will not pander to them either sexually and emotionally. Like, I've been carefully observing the manosphere/ red pill movement since its very beginnings, but ultimately I figured that men prefer to listen to other men.

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If I'm seeing multiple women, every girl clearly knows this, and if she doesn't like that, she is free to fly away. You would be surprised at how stable, sincere, cute girls will stay by your side for years with this arrangement, so long as you NEVER control her and you never lie.

Fair play.

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because the swarm of flies around the man is always celebrated and cherished, while the swarm of flies around the woman is largely pests and nuisances.

It gets beaten into some of us at a young age that we're either not supposed to like male attention that much, or we ought not to be so open about it. I remember being about 8-10, and having a crush on a new boy from my school every week or month, and having 3 male movie crushes at a time lol.. At some point, I realized semi-consciously, without being put it into words, that this was somehow not normal or acceptable. You were supposed to only like one boy...or at least, only one boy at a time. And you were supposed to like him for a long time. He was supposed to be the boy that all the other girls had a crush on, or maybe there were 2-3 boys "acceptable" boys in your whole class or grade. Just like there appeared to be about the same number of girls that lots of other boys had crushes on, that their friends would definitely not make fun of them for having those crushes. (Maybe they had secret crushes too, IDK.)

I realized pretty young that I was either not normal, or every girl who felt that way kept it to themselves. Then I got a little bit older (like mid-teens), and ended up being super close with the girls who were "boy crazy" and knew how to get what they wanted. Then, I became a lot more like them, at least for most of my teenaged years. Mostly with the flirting and crushes regardless of having a boyfriend, and how much of a struggle it was to actually focus on one guy at a time (especially if he just wasn't there for whatever reason).

[eos_nyxia]

2 hours ago, RendHeaven said:

Wow! I am rather fascinated by marriages that last 10+ years, especially when the sexual intimacy is still strong (you must understand this is very, very rare in 2024)

How is your oath different from what most people are doing?

I'm trying to think about how to sum it up simply. In a nutshell:

I make a point of striving to be continuously emotionally and physically available and receptive, as much as possible (and as desired). Not just sexually, but with touching as a form of physical affection, as that's very much his thing. This didn't come to me naturally because even though I'm pretty warm and affectionate by nature, I grew up in a household that was very cold emotionally (not to mention abusive in certain ways), so I had to slowly learn new habits, and open myself up more and more, bit by bit. I don't just rely on spontaneity and "being in the mood", because it's easy enough to prioritize a bunch of other things that you tell yourself matter more in the moment, because other stuff in life, other stressful events, being overly busy and focused on other goals, and even illnesses.

For instance: I keep in mind how it feels for him to say, proposition me sexually, and for me to turn that down. (And the effect that has when you keep doing that over and over again, feeling rejected.) So I either try to not to say no at all, or at the very least, make up for it in some other way.

In general, I trust and have faith in him, because he's shown that he has my best interests at heart and is willing to listen, and he gives words and gestures of appreciation everyday, so I do not feel taken for granted. He prioritizes me not feeling taken for granted, practically to the point of hypervigilance. He makes a point of always minding my emotional state, my comfort level with various things emotionally and sexually, how safe I feel (due to childhood trauma), how satisfied I am (sexually or otherwise), and can take my feedback (even if sometimes it's hard not to take really personally).

He's also just obscenely good at it, which always helps in terms of pure, positive reinforcement. He has a way of discovering new buttons I didn't even know existed, both physically and psychologically. That's something that's possible when you go deep (heh) into a relationship with one particular person; it's a consistent investment over the course of years. For him, I think there's some sort of pride/ perfectionism element going on there for him as well. The idea of being a man who is uninterested in doing what it takes to pleasure his partner is extremely alien to him.

I think after a certain point, if you have enough orgasms in one session, your brain just kind of gets fried and melts into some kind of dopamine megafire and you can't help but be utterly raw, open, and fused to the person who is mercilessly playing your body like a fiddle, lol. It's great for bonding! (But seriously, I sometimes wonder how the world would change if women in general were actually sexually satisfied, or realized that this was an actual option. Or say.... even expected it.)

Possible TMI, but likely informative: I know it's not for everyone, but it's not uncommon for us lately to have sex every day, where 20, 40, 60+ minutes pass and I know it's been a while, but I've completely lost track of time because my brain is fried in a good way. I do not skimp or rush when I'm taking care of him (let's just say I'm too sore or something), like I do not bring that attitude into the bedroom. I sometimes remind myself that if I am going to do this, I might as well put my whole heart into it, like it fucking matters. And I try to treat each time as a brand new time, and not like we have done it thousands of times before. I make sure I am as fully present as possible. We have a dynamic at the moment which allows him to be a little bit more feral than he was in the past, and it's also pretty fun.

General relationship things: We respect and like each other as people, and generally have compatible values and priorities in life. While not directly related to sex, I also keep in mind things that I do that are grating or hurtful,  and try to adjust myself continually so that every day is a bit more harmonious. (For me, it's my fierce temper.)

We always had sexual and emotional chemistry. Personally, I'm not a believer in either party trying to start a relationship if there isn’t a strong spark to start with, and banking on it growing over time. I know it doesn’t work for me.

 

Edited September 30 by eos_nyxia
TMI details instead of being vague about relationship and sex stuff

[Schizophonia]

2 minutes ago, eos_nyxia said:

I'm trying to think about how to sum it up simply. In a nutshell:

I make a point of striving to be continuously emotionally and physically available and receptive, as much as possible (and as desired). Not just sexually, but with touching as a form of physical affection, as that's very much his thing. This didn't come to me naturally because even though I'm pretty warm and affectionate by nature, I grew up in a household that was very cold emotionally (not to mention abusive in certain ways), so I had to slowly learn new habits, and open myself up more and more, bit by bit. I don't just rely on spontaneity and "being in the mood", because it's easy enough to prioritize a bunch of other things that you tell yourself matter more in the moment, because other stuff in life, other stressful events, being overly busy and focused on other goals, and even illnesses.

For instance: I keep in mind how it feels for him to say, proposition me sexually, and for me to turn that down. (And the effect that has when you keep doing that over and over again, feeling rejected.) So I either try to not to say no at all, or at the very least, make up for it in some other way.

In general, I trust and have faith in him, because he's shown that he has my best interests at heart and is willing to listen, and he gives words and gestures of appreciation everyday, so I do not feel taken for granted. He prioritizes me not feeling taken for granted, practically to the point of hypervigilance. He makes a point of always minding my emotional state, my comfort level with various things emotionally and sexually, how safe I feel (due to childhood trauma), how satisfied I am (sexually or otherwise), and can take my feedback (even if sometimes it's hard not to take really personally).

He's also just obscenely good at it, which always helps in terms of pure, positive reinforcement. He has a way of discovering new buttons I didn't even know existed, both physically and psychologically. That's something that's possible when you go deep (heh) into a relationship with one particular person; it's a consistent investment over the course of years. For him, I think there's some sort of pride/ perfectionism element going on there for him as well. The idea of being a man who is uninterested in doing what it takes to pleasure his partner is extremely alien to him.

I think after a certain point, if you have enough orgasms in one session, your brain just kind of gets fried and melts into some kind of dopamine megafire and you can't help but be utterly raw, open, and fused to the person who is mercilessly playing your body like a fiddle, lol. It's great for bonding! (But seriously, I sometimes wonder how the world would change if women in general were actually sexually satisfied, or realized that this was an actual option. Or say.... even expected it.)

Possible TMI, but likely informative: I know it's not for everyone, but it's not uncommon for us lately to have sex every day, where 20, 40, 60+ minutes pass and I know it's been a while, but I've completely lost track of time because my brain is fried in a good way. I do not skimp or rush when I'm taking care of him (let's just say I'm too sore or something), like I do not bring that attitude into the bedroom. I sometimes remind myself that if I am going to do this, I might as well put my whole heart into it, like it fucking matters. And I try to treat each time as a brand new time, and not like we have done it thousands of times before. I make sure I am as fully present as possible. We have a dynamic at the moment which allows him to be a little bit more feral than he was in the past, and it's also pretty fun.

General relationship things: We respect and like each other as people, and generally have compatible values and priorities in life. While not directly related to sex, I also keep in mind things that I do that are grating or hurtful,  and try to adjust myself continually so that every day is a bit more harmonious. (For me, it's my fierce temper.)

We always had sexual and emotional chemistry. Personally, I'm not a believer in either party trying to start a relationship if there isn’t a strong spark to start with, and banking on it growing over time. I know it doesn’t work for me.

 

tldr lol.

[eos_nyxia]

1 minute ago, Schizophonia said:

tldr lol.

I know I end up writing practical essays, but still....:

[eos_nyxia]

Seriously though, I think I crashed this site for a few moments with that post, which is why I don't post very much. No more internet for me!

 

[Schizophonia]

1 minute ago, eos_nyxia said:

I know I end up writing practical essays, but still....:

Eheh, ofc i was teasing.

In my race to simplify everything now it's like i have brain fog every time I see a tile like that, except when I'm turning in aspie mode because the subject particularly interests me.

So that was a little private joke but with only me in delirium.

[Schizophonia]

4 minutes ago, eos_nyxia said:

Seriously though, I think I crashed this site for a few moments with that post, which is why I don't post very much. No more internet for me!

 

Even higher self got brain fog and has manifested 504 error 😂

[Keryo Koffa]

15 minutes ago, eos_nyxia said:

Seriously though, I think I crashed this site for a few moments with that post, which is why I don't post very much. No more internet for me!

8 minutes ago, Schizophonia said:

Even higher self got brain fog and has manifested 504 error 😂

Actually, I noticed this happening every single day at the exact same time for around 10 minutes, ever since I became Leo and took over the Forum on my "Stage Coral" trip. The only problem was, that I unmanifested most of everyone during that time period, and all I really needed was Leo's advice but there was no Leo because I was Leo.

That sucked, well, I'm glad everyone's back including Leo, but yeah, the forum is now having this issue every day. And y'all can experience the synchronicity ripples of that feeling, of course.

There's also a perfectly reasonable explanation manifested alongside it, to ground the new reality retrocausally by creating a reasonable responsible past event to override the metaphysical actuality in a strange loop, because we're in base reality again, well, "to each his own" 😁😁

Edited September 30 by Keryo Koffa

[Schizophonia]

1 minute ago, Keryo Koffa said:

Actually, I noticed this happening every single day at the exact same time for around 10 minutes,

Ahah what a nerd.

1 minute ago, Keryo Koffa said:

ever since I became Leo and took over the Forum on my "Stage Coral" trip, the only problem was, that I unmanifested most of everyone during that time period, and I all I really needed was Leo's advice but there was no Leo because I was Leo, that sucked. Well, I'm glad everyone's back including Leo, but yeah, the forum is now having this issue every day, and y'all can experience the synchronicity ripples of that feeling, of course, there's also a perfectly reasonable explanation manifested alongside it, to ground the new reality retrocausally by creating a reasonable responsible past event, because we're in base reality again, well, "to each his own" 😁😁

Stage corail is about conscious non duality, synchronicity and manifestation ?  

[Keryo Koffa]

19 minutes ago, Schizophonia said:

Ahah what a nerd. Stage corail is about conscious non duality, synchronicity and manifestation ?  

I'm still working out the details two months later and the bulk of it was a Turquoise speedrun.
But yes, it would also depend on the levels of reality that you are involved in.
It's not even Non-Dual, it's Autodual (remember @nuwu, was really on to something!)
Synchronicity is the structure of reality and manipulating Framework-2 manifests it around you.

However, I would still consider this Turquoise Manifestation, a subtle form of reality manipulation.
Coral Manifestation & Synchronicity are you literally & consciously bending reality yourself.
Because Coral is a universal convergence where you become and direct the fabric itself intently.

That's why Leo preaches Solipsism, your belief in others constrains your reality.
Because the details reinforce themselves fractally and solidify a consensus.
Which is every particle in the universe keeping track of every other's position.
To break free, you'd probably need to get non-dual enough to reach escape velocity.

Edited September 30 by Keryo Koffa

[RendHeaven]

2 hours ago, Schizophonia said:

With a “real” woman, it’s different every time.

Fair

2 hours ago, Schizophonia said:

If like most guys who fantasize about asian women it's because they seem promiscuous/easily submissive, well you don't hold them in esteem and you'll always want to go see another girl, because there isn't much intimacy in your relationships.

I don't care how deeply transformatively transcendently intimate I get with a special girl, if her best friend with big boobs shows up one day my dick is going to get hard and you can't shame away the truth.

Matter of fact, if ur pp stops getting hard from hot girls just because ur in looove...       ur gay

2 hours ago, Schizophonia said:

Estrogen makes you polygamous, wanting to flirt with women of all ages and ethnicities everywhere, because you become too anxious to let yourself go with someone you really care about.

You literally pulled that out of your ass lmao

Spawned out of thin air

I like the confidence though

[Schizophonia]

4 minutes ago, RendHeaven said:

Fair

I don't care how deeply transformatively transcendently intimate I get with a special girl, if her best friend with big boobs shows up one day my dick is going to get hard and you can't shame away the truth.

Matter of fact, if ur pp stops getting hard from hot girls just because ur in looove...       ur gay

Yes, i talked about the manic libido that can push you to have the agenda of having several girlfriends in the same time.

In other words, an ass is an ass, it's not like it's so different.

4 minutes ago, RendHeaven said:

You literally pulled that out of your ass lmao

Spawned out of thin air

I like the confidence though

3 years of intense experimentations with different medications eheh. 

Nevermind, i half trolled here.

[RendHeaven]

2 hours ago, eos_nyxia said:

A lifetime ago, I would have said that all of the men who just wanted one woman were delusional, even to the point of gaslighting themselves. For me, it was the test of time that convinced me completely.

Haha what a fascinating man. I would love to sit him down and pick his brain.

I'm still not convinced that his rock solid conviction is not just deeply cemented expectations from early childhood (modelling his environment; his parents and role models, etc.) What if we took the same man and raised him as a roman prince 2000 years ago? Or as a caveman 40,000 years ago? Would he still pick out his queen and scoff at the notion of sex with any other woman? It's not so clear. In fact, we will never know, so whether his convictions are an artificial collection of social expectations or a deeply original desire will never be known - nor is it so clear-cut. At this point in his life, the dichotomy of programming and originality bleeds together, and in the end you guys are happy so in your case it makes no difference.

I still have a sneaking suspicion that ALL men (yes, literally every single one), raised without societal programming, would covet multiple women. And even if you show me a living breathing counter-example, I will find a way to blame society (heheh).

But I'm aware of my own projections and fallibility. At the end of the day I know nothing.

Still, I speak (and write) with firm claims because I love being opinionated.

2 hours ago, eos_nyxia said:

More than anything, I do worry about women and girls. I feel protective of them and I don't want them to get screwed over, especially when it leads to permanent emotional damage. I see the damage it can cause, and where the bitterness, defensiveness, and anger come from. That's mostly why I'm being abrasive. I was the "mom friend" of my various friend groups growing up (until I stopped having so many female friends and instead focused more on boys). 

I'd say that I have often felt the same way about boys/ men, but I feel like my concern doesn't mean much if I will not pander to them either sexually and emotionally. Like, I've been carefully observing the manosphere/ red pill movement since its very beginnings, but ultimately I figured that men prefer to listen to other men.

I understand.

I have this really personal esoteric woo-woo belief (I have never shared this with anybody) that every woman on the planet is literally my daughter. Sometimes I look at my own mother and see in her eyes the fear and longing of my unborn daughter and it simultaneously breaks and warms my heart.

It's really impossible to explain but I'll try.

My default is that I honestly don't even perceive distinct individual women (unless she needs me to see her individuality; which I am happy to do as well, for her sake). My subjective POV is that I just see One Goddess spread across countless vessels (no - literally! I can't make this up). And Ultimately, She is identical to me.

My insatiable, howling desire for WOMEN is in precise proportion to my masculine identity which has forsaken/abandoned my feminine identity.

You may imagine that upon my birth, there was a cosmic rift where everything feminine was torn away from me. Even as my mother held me in her arms, there was a subjective "her vs me" distinction being formed where this field of consciousness slowly forgot the quality/attitude of actually embodying source femininity. From this moment on, no matter what I did, or how I acted, I could never BE the Goddess I once was.

But this was a necessary fracture. I "had" to forsake/abandon this Goddess (Myself), because if I held Her close for Eternity, I would stay as Her, and I would never know what it's like to stumble onto Her with fresh, foreign eyes. And she would never know what it's like to be cherished and contained by this foreign God known as "Man"

The leap from this nondual origin story to "every woman is literally my daughter" is more of a poetic liberty.

I say daughter simply because I deeply recognize and feel how every woman wants to be held, and that I am responsible for hearing her plea and placing myself firmly between her vulnerable core and the cold world (which is also me) from which she craves sanctuary.

Hence we have Me protecting Me from Me because that's what Me wants.

I can't think of anything in this world that is more compelling.

3 hours ago, eos_nyxia said:

It gets beaten into some of us at a young age that we're either not supposed to like male attention that much, or we ought not to be so open about it. I remember being about 8-10, and having a crush on a new boy from my school every week or month, and having 3 male movie crushes at a time lol.. At some point, I realized semi-consciously, without being put it into words, that this was somehow not normal or acceptable. You were supposed to only like one boy...or at least, only one boy at a time. And you were supposed to like him for a long time. He was supposed to be the boy that all the other girls had a crush on, or maybe there were 2-3 boys "acceptable" boys in your whole class or grade. Just like there appeared to be about the same number of girls that lots of other boys had crushes on, that their friends would definitely not make fun of them for having those crushes. (Maybe they had secret crushes too, IDK.)

I realized pretty young that I was either not normal, or every girl who felt that way kept it to themselves. Then I got a little bit older (like mid-teens), and ended up being super close with the girls who were "boy crazy" and knew how to get what they wanted. Then, I became a lot more like them, at least for most of my teenaged years. Mostly with the flirting and crushes regardless of having a boyfriend, and how much of a struggle it was to actually focus on one guy at a time (especially if he just wasn't there for whatever reason).

3 hours ago, eos_nyxia said:

For instance: I keep in mind how it feels for him to say, proposition me sexually, and for me to turn that down. (And the effect that has when you keep doing that over and over again, feeling rejected.) So I either try to not to say no at all, or at the very least, make up for it in some other way.

Bless you.

3 hours ago, eos_nyxia said:

He has a way of discovering new buttons I didn't even know existed, both physically and psychologically. That's something that's possible when you go deep (heh) into a relationship with one particular person

Note taken

3 hours ago, eos_nyxia said:

The idea of being a man who is uninterested in doing what it takes to pleasure his partner is extremely alien to him.

This has always been my view as well

3 hours ago, eos_nyxia said:

I do not skimp or rush when I'm taking care of him (let's just say I'm too sore or something), like I do not bring that attitude into the bedroom. I sometimes remind myself that if I am going to do this, I might as well put my whole heart into it, like it fucking matters. And I try to treat each time as a brand new time, and not like we have done it thousands of times before. I make sure I am as fully present as possible. We have a dynamic at the moment which allows him to be a little bit more feral than he was in the past, and it's also pretty fun.

General relationship things: We respect and like each other as people, and generally have compatible values and priorities in life. While not directly related to sex, I also keep in mind things that I do that are grating or hurtful,  and try to adjust myself continually so that every day is a bit more harmonious. (For me, it's my fierce temper.)

Beautiful. Thanks!