I want multiple girlfriends

[Adrian colby]

8 hours ago, Ampresus said:

@Adrian colby See this is what I am trying to avoid with my life. I want to explore being in a relationship with multiple girls, because once I marry with someone (or multiple someones) I want that to be final. No regrets. 

I understand that.

i wasn’t aware I had suppressed my sexuality at the time I met her. She was my first. It’s only now I healed that part of me that there is an entire phase of experience in my life I never got to go through ( my wife reckons it’s because I was pretty reclused by my condition during my teens when all of this would have been happening as most normal teens go out and explore) . On my death bed it will certainly be a regret not to have known that or even worse to have denied that I was more orientated with polyamory. My wife understands that but at the same time did not marry with that agreement. I would have to leave her to do that but it’s not relationships that I’m looking for. It’s moments when they are called for during a meaningful connection. I don’t want to shut that out now that my heart has truly opened. That would differ from yours where you are looking for multiple relationships where you are obligated to live with to some degree, multiple people? As in non marital polygamy?

[Princess Arabia]

10 hours ago, Schizophonia said:

and the women subscribe to it for economic reasons.

You come up with some weird conclusions. Makes no sense to share with another woman if it's for economic reasons. FYI, some women are into this stuff and willingly go into it.

[Ampresus]

11 hours ago, ricachica said:

Did Beck in the podcast mention her multiple partnered relationships before, or after, you started the visualization?

@ricachica I believe it was after, usually Huberman provides timestamps in the description so you can check those out. 

 

12 hours ago, Godhead said:

It also raises a bigger question: is your current partner truly right for you if you’re so easily willing to consider leaving them over what seems like a half-formed fantasy?

@Godhead I don't think you quite understand what I am saying here. In my "perfect relationship" there is no "one" girl that can fulfil me, there's two. Regardless of how beautiful and funny and whatever a girl is, her alone could never fulfil me. I feel like for me, like for Beck in the podcast and countless of famous people, I need to be romantically involved with multiple people. Obviously I haven't tested this so I'm speaking in speculation, but that's my perspective on it basically. 

 

11 hours ago, Hojo said:

This could ruin your relationship, just even bringing it up. Be careful what you wish for you could be wanting more and end up with less.

@Hojo Thanks for the heads up, I am very aware of this. I just feel like the one thing I had missing from past relationships and even my current one is another girl. Maybe I am dead wrong and no amount of partners in a relationship can fulfil me, but I am willing to bet my current relationship to find out because otherwise I'll end up like another guy who posted here. Who got married only to realise he also has this preference. 

[Ampresus]

10 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

If you seriously want multiple girlfriends this needs to established from day one. You cannot just spring that on a girlfriend months or years down the road -- that will devastate her and destroy all trust and love.

@Leo Gura I feel like if you try to establish it from day one, she will just get up and leave. Whereas if you try to tell a girl you've been seeing for a while, she's more inclined to hear you out. Would definitely help if the girl is bisexual herself. The only reason this idea came up to my my mind is because my current gf mentioned how she'd be willing to have a threesome with another girl if it made me happier.

[Ampresus]

6 hours ago, Princess Arabia said:

You come up with some weird conclusions. Makes no sense to share with another woman if it's for economic reasons. FYI, some women are into this stuff and willingly go into it.

@Princess Arabia I knew it! There's also men who go willingly into this type of stuff as well! Plenty of examples online where there's one girl and multiple guys in a relationship.

[Leo Gura]

1 hour ago, Ampresus said:

I feel like if you try to establish it from day one, she will just get up and leave. Whereas if you try to tell a girl you've been seeing for a while, she's more inclined to hear you out.

Lol. Of course, you devil. You are trying to use her love for you to emotionally manipulate her into tolerating and rationalizing your exploitation of her.

Once a girl loves you, you can beat her and she will likely stick around. You're trying to exploit her love to gratify yourself sexually.

Edited September 25 by Leo Gura

[Buck Edwards]

1 hour ago, Ampresus said:

@Leo Gura I feel like if you try to establish it from day one, she will just get up and leave. Whereas if you try to tell a girl you've been seeing for a while, she's more inclined to hear you out. Would definitely help if the girl is bisexual herself. The only reason this idea came up to my my mind is because my current gf mentioned how she'd be willing to have a threesome with another girl if it made me happier.

Why is it that she has to sleep with another girl and not a guy? What if she wants to sleep with a guy? Of course she doesn't want to, I already know that. But if she wants to. Won't that make you feel insecure if she sleeps with other dudes? Be honest about it. I'm sure you won't like it. Because you don't mention it even once. Now put yourself in her shoes. Is she going  to feel insecure about you sleeping with other women and you expect her to be understanding? Would you be understanding as well if the situation was reversed in terms of gender? Ask yourself that. 

[Elisabeth]

Shit, I wrote a long post and lost it.

In short,
- the idea that your girlfriends can have women but not other guys is called "one penis policy" and is very much frowned upon - to be ethical, you'd have to do your emotional work to get past that.

- Polyamory can be healthy and rewarding. However,

- Polyamory complicates your life immensely on a practical level. Just imagine looking for two apartments in the same house so that you can live all together but still allow for personal space. You may have to pay double the rent.

- if you think you might want polyamory, DO SOME READING. There are lots of internet resources, but even better, some books. "Designer relationships" and "Opening up" would be recommended, an older one is "The ethical slut".

Edited September 25 by Elisabeth

[Jannes]

2 hours ago, Ampresus said:

@Leo Gura I feel like if you try to establish it from day one, she will just get up and leave. Whereas if you try to tell a girl you've been seeing for a while, she's more inclined to hear you out. Would definitely help if the girl is bisexual herself. The only reason this idea came up to my my mind is because my current gf mentioned how she'd be willing to have a threesome with another girl if it made me happier.

+ what Leo said

So you talked about wanting to be more sexually open as your gf told you she would be okay with a threesome if it made you happier? 

[Xonas Pitfall]

@Ampresus

Quote

I feel like if you try to establish it from day one, she will just get up and leave. Whereas if you try to tell a girl you've been seeing for a while, she's more inclined to hear you out.

What if she obliged to all your desires, became the perfect girlfriend, and then once you’re hooked and in love, she starts suggesting you “provide” for her and give her more of your money, claiming that it’s in her "biological nature" to continue loving a man?

Also, when you say "your heart has opened up more," are you sure that means you want to have multiple relationships, or is it just about exploring more sexually? Can you imagine yourself giving twice or even triple the amount of attention and focus you’re currently giving to your current relationship?

I don't think there's anything wrong if you want to go through a phase with more sexual experiences, but at least show respect to your girlfriend and allow her to have her own fun (whether it's with guys or girls).

I think you're misunderstanding the concept of "unconditional love." I’m not sure if you’re aware of it, but you're taking selfish desires and framing them as selfless and good in your mind. Being more loving requires empathy and understanding. Have you asked her how she would feel about this? What would her conditions be for making this work? Have you thought about what kind of actions or words would be necessary to reassure her that she’s still your primary lover? Have you considered the possibility of meeting someone you might love more, what if she does? Would you have the self-discipline to break things off with them so your girlfriend doesn't feel betrayed? Would you have the respect and humility to tell her to her face that you don't love her the same anymore, or would you just continue the polyamory until she notices your decreased attention and slowly gets heartbroken over time?

And what about the other women? How would they feel if you presented yourself as a single guy with good game, they fell in love, allowing themselves to be charmed and trust you, only to feel completely betrayed when you introduce the idea of polyamory? Why not just be open from the start and find people who are genuinely compatible with the lifestyle? It’ll save you so much headache in the long run. People who begrudgingly accept something because they were coerced or tricked into it are a ticking time bomb until they leave, and can you really blame them? Wouldn’t you feel the same way?

Again, if you want to take an unconventional path, that's totally fine. But please don’t use reframing tactics—whether consciously or unconsciously—to convince yourself that you're being “more loving, more open-minded, and more unconditional,” or that you have so much love to give to more people. In reality, your reasoning seems to be selfish rationalizations for wanting more sex and validation without fully considering what the other parties might want, or what would be fair and respectful to them in this situation.

And by the way, if you just want to be selfish and keep your "main" girlfriend while manipulating other women into falling in love with you, only to keep them in a polyamorous setup by using their fear of losing you or abandonment, fine—but own that. Don’t mask it as “I’m more open and loving now, I can’t just love one woman, I’m so selfless and full of abundant love that I need to give to more people.” I hope it makes sense. My tone might seem harsh, but I'm trying to help you become more aware and genuinely unconditionally loving if that's truly your goal. The way you're approaching it now is quite the opposite.

[Elisabeth]

2 hours ago, Ampresus said:

@Leo Gura I feel like if you try to establish it from day one, she will just get up and leave. Whereas if you try to tell a girl you've been seeing for a while, she's more inclined to hear you out. Would definitely help if the girl is bisexual herself. The only reason this idea came up to my my mind is because my current gf mentioned how she'd be willing to have a threesome with another girl if it made me happier.

No. If you want to be polyamorous, you have to look for girls you are inclined to be polyamorous themselves. "Say it before you kiss." Anything else is exploitation and a recipe for disaster.

Be ethical people.

[Schizophonia]

9 hours ago, Princess Arabia said:

You come up with some weird conclusions. Makes no sense to share with another woman if it's for economic reasons. FYI, some women are into this stuff and willingly go into it.

Some men are manic and have these kinds of drunkenness, and they profit of having a very good financial situation to convince several women to form a relationship.

You say that because you live in US, i especially talk about third world countries.

[Elisabeth]

23 hours ago, Ampresus said:

One final anecdote I will give is something I heard on the tram once. As I was sitting there on my way to uni, I heard a guy and a girl talk about how the guy had found himself in a relationship with 2 girls. He first had a bi girlfriend who liked the idea of a threesome with another girl. So they did said threesome. All three parties liked it so much that they proceeded to do it several times. At some point they all came to an agreement that it was more than just sex and decided to stay together.

Now how true this is and how long something like this would last I'll leave up to you guys to decide. But it just so happens that my current girlfriend is open for a threesome as well.

This is actually one of the more healthy ways to form a triad. It does happen sometimes, though I personally don't know any closely committed live-in triads.

Just know that triads can't be forced. You can never demand from a girl to be equally interested in you and your other partner. It's not going to happen. The "V" or "N" shaped relationship forms are actually more common, more durable and easier to handle.

Edited September 25 by Elisabeth

[Hojo]

@Ampresus if you ever heard a song about not knowing what you have until its gone this could be a classic example. I would suggest thinking about how much you appreciate about your current gf and think about how much you would care if she keft. Because asking a question like this has a 70 percent chance to just ruin the relationship cause you want to fuck different pussy.

Edited September 25 by Hojo

[Butters]

16 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

If you seriously want multiple girlfriends this needs to established from day one. You cannot just spring that on a girlfriend months or years down the road -- that will devastate her and destroy all trust and love.

Yes I literally posted this, you deleted it?

On 24-9-2024 at 9:08 AM, Ampresus said:

@Leo Gura If it has been done before, it can be done again  

Yeah if you make this arrangement clear from the start. 

[Princess Arabia]

3 hours ago, Schizophonia said:

Some men are manic and have these kinds of drunkenness, and they profit of having a very good financial situation to convince several women to form a relationship.

You say that because you live in US, i especially talk about third world countries.

Ok. I'm not going to get into this topic too much as I've never tried this lifestyle and i don't think it's for me either. I respect your opinions on it and what you have to say, even though I still think you're drawing too many assumptions that are just based off of your own thesis and not from actual experience.

[Schizophonia]

5 minutes ago, Princess Arabia said:

Ok. I'm not going to get into this topic too much as I've never tried this lifestyle and i don't think it's for me either. I respect your opinions on it and what you have to say, even though I still think you're drawing too many assumptions that are just based off of your own thesis and not from actual experience.

Maybe it suits some people yes.
I just came to bring my point of view 👍

[Princess Arabia]

2 minutes ago, Schizophonia said:

Maybe it suits some people yes.
I just came to bring my point of view 👍

Yes, I'm aware of that, we all are. So am I on your pov's. So it's pov's upon pov's pointing to pov's.😜

[Schizophonia]

10 minutes ago, Princess Arabia said:

Yes, I'm aware of that, we all are. So am I on your pov's. So it's pov's upon pov's pointing to pov's.😜

Eheh.

[Keryo Koffa]

54 minutes ago, Princess Arabia said:

Yes, I'm aware of that, we all are. So am I on your pov's. So it's pov's upon pov's pointing to pov's.😜

Basic holofractology, takes much more than that to live up to Leo's Meta though 😜