I want multiple girlfriends

[Leo Gura]

8 hours ago, Ampresus said:

I currently have one girlfriend, but am planning to tell her about this urge of mine.

Big mistake, haha 

[Schizophonia]

It's a manic delirium.

[Keryo Koffa]

50 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

Big mistake, haha 

38 minutes ago, Schizophonia said:

It's a manic delirium.

@Ampresus Leo always teaches us to aim at infinity, be it cat infinity, god infinity, alien infinity, or girlfriend infinity 😁

Edited September 23 by Keryo Koffa

[Atb210201]

3 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Big mistake, haha 

Listen kids experience is talking here

[Ampresus]

10 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Big mistake, haha 

@Leo Gura If it has been done before, it can be done again  

[Alex4]

Having several girlfriends sounds like a nightmare to me. I don't even think it's possible. It would take an extremely mature group of people to make it work, which I highly doubt is the case.

Why not commit to one person? Sure, there are downsides, like not being able to have sex with other women. But the positives clearly outweigh the negatives. If she's the right person for you, it saves a lot of drama and time that would otherwise be spent chasing other relationships.

[Jannes]

Have open relationships vs polyamorous relationships be compared?

I think open relationships might be simpler as you just need to emotionally manage one person. 

[Ampresus]

On 23-9-2024 at 2:54 PM, Keryo Koffa said:

Would you mind if each of these girfriends themselves were in polyamorous relationships or is it All for One? 😁

On 23-9-2024 at 5:00 PM, Godhead said:

If your answer is no or you feel like the privilege of having multiple partners should only be extended to you, maybe rethink. 

@Godhead @Keryo Koffa I thought I was clear that during the visualization it was just me and two other girls. I don't think I ever once mentioned it being open on anyone's side. 

 

On 23-9-2024 at 3:10 PM, Sugarcoat said:

Do people not visualize automatically? Like daydreaming? You needed someone to tell you to do it. Nothing wrong, just a thought.

@Sugarcoat Lol no I don't really have the time to daydream when I'm busy with other endeavours in my life. I used to be a more visual person when I didn't have a lot going on for myself. Like having a gf, a job, going to school, working out etc. 

 

On 23-9-2024 at 4:34 PM, Adrian colby said:

the problem I encountered was that I was already married and had already gone into a relationship under a joined agreement. To follow this realisation about my ‘polyamory’ I would be breaking an agreement and like you, I love my wife and so I would never lie to her or do anything that she was not ok with.

@Adrian colby See this is what I am trying to avoid with my life. I want to explore being in a relationship with multiple girls, because once I marry with someone (or multiple someones) I want that to be final. No regrets. 

[Ampresus]

22 hours ago, Tenebroso said:

Very attractive men already do this but it's unspoken "don't ask, don't tell"..........I read recently that RFK Jr was found to have 43 mistresses at one point during his last marriage. Some guys live in sexual abundance that is unimaginable for most men.

@Tenebroso I have read and heard a lot about this. There's plenty of men out there, both wealthy and not, which live in insane amounts of sexual abundance. Not even necessarily through being a cult leader or clubbing.

Bob Marley comes to mind. It was well-known within his whole family that he consistently cheated on his wife with multiple other women. The guy had 8 other children with 8 other women besides his wife. Now granted, she did go behind his back as well, which could be explained as revenge. Hence why I don't want to fall into the same trap as him. Unlike him I could never father children of my wife which she got from sleeping with other men. 

Less promiscious example would be Einstein. The guy married his cousin after continious flirtations with her while being married. During both his marriages he had continious affairs with other women. His now new wife's daughter used to have a boyfriend who was known to sleep with daughter-mother couples. Meaning he would find a girl, sleep with her, then proceed to sleep with the girl's mom as well. I have no clue what amount of game one would need to pull something like that off. 

[Ampresus]

7 hours ago, Alex4 said:

Why not commit to one person? Sure, there are downsides, like not being able to have sex with other women. But the positives clearly outweigh the negatives. If she's the right person for you, it saves a lot of drama and time that would otherwise be spent chasing other relationships.

@Alex4 The point of the exercise is to follow with what your heart wants, and my heart wants this. I think we all know by now that humans are not rational beings. Me personally I don't sit around and weigh pros and cons when thinking about my perfect relationship. I'm just surrounded by two women who I love, love me and each other. It's not about what's practical and what costs less effort. Cause if that's the only concern, you could make a good case that being single is much less stress inducing than having a wife and potential children. 

[Schizophonia]

18 hours ago, Keryo Koffa said:

@Ampresus Leo always teaches us to aim at infinity, be it cat infinity, god infinity, alien infinity, or girlfriend infinity 😁

I've said that because when you indulge in a low-stress, comforting state, socializing actually becomes more boring and one partner is more than enough, especially when you have children.

So I guess op has a slight manic turn to believe it's a good idea to have to manage multiple people at the same time.

[Ampresus]

One final anecdote I will give is something I heard on the tram once. As I was sitting there on my way to uni, I heard a guy and a girl talk about how the guy had found himself in a relationship with 2 girls. He first had a bi girlfriend who liked the idea of a threesome with another girl. So they did said threesome. All three parties liked it so much that they proceeded to do it several times. At some point they all came to an agreement that it was more than just sex and decided to stay together.

Now how true this is and how long something like this would last I'll leave up to you guys to decide. But it just so happens that my current girlfriend is open for a threesome as well. 

 

2 minutes ago, Schizophonia said:

So I guess op has a slight manic

@Schizophonia Sure I'll take the psychoanalysis from a random forum member lol

[Schizophonia]

1 minute ago, Ampresus said:

@Schizophonia Sure I'll take the psychoanalysis from a random forum member lol

So what is the point of your post ?  Except bringing people into your idea to convince yourself.

 

[Ampresus]

@Schizophonia I suppose calling me slightly manic is a form of advice. I'm guessing you're saying with it that I should seek help? Fair enough I suppose. 

6 minutes ago, Schizophonia said:

So what is the point of your post ?  Except bringing people into your idea to convince yourself.

On 23-9-2024 at 2:23 PM, Ampresus said:

Any advice?

Edited September 24 by Ampresus

[Schizophonia]

1 minute ago, Ampresus said:

@Schizophonia I suppose calling me slightly manic is a form of advice. I'm guessing you're saying with it that I should seek help? Fair enough I suppose. 

All I meant was that this kind of idea usually happens when you're in a more manic state than normal (which happens to everyone).
But you have to see what it's like to have several girlfriends at the same time, because it would piss off most people.

A single relationship is already something to manage; generally polygamous relationships are quite poor, the man has problems with mania (precisely) and the women subscribe to it for economic reasons.

Then ofc you do what you want eheh, it's your life, it wasn't a hostile reproach.

[Godhead]

4 hours ago, Ampresus said:

I thought I was clear that during the visualization it was just me and two other girls. I don't think I ever once mentioned it being open on anyone's side. 

You said that you wanted polygamy, a relationship with multiple girls. 

When someone tells me they met multiple people at a party, I would generally assume it’s more than just two. In modern polygamous relationships, especially in the context of consensual non-monogamy, all parties are typically involved in an open and sexually inclusive dynamic. That’s why I initially misunderstood your intentions.

As for how you’d approach it, it seems quite challenging. Most women have many options, so why would they choose a situation where they only receive half the attention? You would either need to offer something very compelling or ensure they are highly attracted to you. Again, where I come from, many people engage in polyamorous or ENM relationships, but it’s rare to see a situation where a man has multiple partners while the women remain exclusive to him, why would they? I'm not saying it's impossible but it just invites so much drama, jealousy, comparisons, etc., etc.

One way to go about it might be that your current girlfriend would be the one introducing other women into the relationship. And of course, she would have to be fully on board with you dating others, falling in love with another girl, being only secondary priority, knowing there’s a risk of losing you.

It also raises a bigger question: is your current partner truly right for you if you’re so easily willing to consider leaving them over what seems like a half-formed fantasy?

Good luck dude, sounds like you're in for a big headache.

Edited September 24 by Godhead

[ricachica]

@Ampresus Did Beck in the podcast mention her multiple partnered relationships before, or after, you started the visualization?

Edited September 24 by ricachica

[Hojo]

@Ampresus

This could ruin your relationship, just even bringing it up. Be careful what you wish for you could be wanting more and end up with less.

Edited September 24 by Hojo

[Leo Gura]

If you seriously want multiple girlfriends this needs to established from day one. You cannot just spring that on a girlfriend months or years down the road -- that will devastate her and destroy all trust and love.

Edited September 24 by Leo Gura

[Adrian colby]

8 hours ago, Ampresus said:

@Adrian colby See this is what I am trying to avoid with my life. I want to explore being in a relationship with multiple girls, because once I marry with someone (or multiple someones) I want that to be final. No regrets. 

I understand that.

i wasn’t aware I had suppressed my sexuality at the time I met her. She was my first. It’s only now I healed that part of me that there is an entire phase of experience in my life I never got to go through ( my wife reckons it’s because I was pretty reclused by my condition during my teens when all of this would have been happening as most normal teens go out and explore) . On my death bed it will certainly be a regret not to have known that or even worse to have denied that I was more orientated with polyamory. My wife understands that but at the same time did not marry with that agreement. I would have to leave her to do that but it’s not relationships that I’m looking for. It’s moments when they are called for during a meaningful connection. I don’t want to shut that out now that my heart has truly opened. That would differ from yours where you are looking for multiple relationships where you are obligated to live with to some degree, multiple people? As in non marital polygamy?