Experiencing experiencing

[kavaris]

I keep thinkin about how there's gotta be a way, much like when we are asleep and abruptley awoken, something like that has to happen, but for the land of the awake and living. I dont feel like ive experienced something thats reminiscent to what the beginning was, what that clean slate is and theres nothing that i can do, think, or feel that comes close.

I think about this white light often, this strange sorta feeling i had during this unfortunate series of events. The light, although a vivid realness to me, it symbolized the door, the  wall of doors. Thats the wall of light thats gonna be forced upon us. Can we not walk into that bad boy. Its impossible because it means stripping away things you didnt even know you needed. Its awkward, and, unusual, and it just feels scary in a weird way that isnt immediately obvious. There isnt time to work it out in the moment when its swallowing it whole.

Theres no guarantees in any direction...

I guess what im tryina say is, if the white light is like a symbol for what we were suppose to do, then i dont get it. I dont understand what should happen, to willingly just get torn apart... Les those pieces lay within some entity that lives and breathes... maybe they float forever in a soup....

... any sortve celestial direction, its just like... debree and frozen planets... avalanches on planet ice, clouds over moscow... side-ripple mountains...

 

smooth & rough, oil & vinegar soup and like, no way to get there.

[LoseYourvelf]

What if this is a compounding curve of 1:1 experience where you're only ever experiencing experiencing experiencing

[kavaris]

@LoseYourvelf

imaybe i put it like this... im not quite sure how we transition...

theres always some celestial layer than came before like drawing infinitely many arctangents, theres always some blue side around the corner...

i just dont know if we know what we are doing to get there, in a graceful, non-staggered manner. Possibly in a way that is reasonably straightforward for the experiencer.