Can I still get pickup social skills in a committed relationship?

[Magnanimous]

I want to be a genius charismatic. Leo says that pickup gives you social skills that transfer from girls onto other parts of your social life, eg being able to schmooze with strangers among other things.
 

But I've always dreamed of getting a girlfriend and staying committed to her. And pickup artists say never stop gaming your girlfriend.

So I was wondering, could I get the same social skills from pickup with a single girl, or do I need experience with lots of girls?

 

If I need mass experience I can hold off from a girlfriend

 

Type

[NoSelfSelf]

What is a genius charismatic?

[Spiritual Warrior]

The best path to take is to get mass experience with lots of girls first. At some point during this journey, you will fall in love with one girl and you'll want to make her your girlfriend. 

DO NOT game your girlfriend, that is terrible advice. Just love her. 

Edited September 19, 2024 by Spiritual Warrior

[Magnanimous]

10 hours ago, NoSelfSelf said:

What is a genius charismatic?

Leo implies any world class performer is a genius, so when I say genius charismatic I mean a world class charismatic

[Leo Gura]

11 hours ago, Magnanimous said:

And pickup artists say never stop gaming your girlfriend.

That's not what pickup says. There is no need to game your girlfriend. Just treat her normally.

But your game skills and growth will certainly stop if you go committed with a girlfriend. That's the tradeoff. In order to get good at game you have do it full time for at least a few years, which means not being in a serious relationship.

But a serious relationship teaches other kinds of skills.

Edited September 19, 2024 by Leo Gura

[NoSelfSelf]

6 hours ago, Magnanimous said:

Leo implies any world class performer is a genius, so when I say genius charismatic I mean a world class charismatic

No charismatic person is looking at it like a perfomance for the world or to get a woman.If you not looking at it to be charismatic for the sake of it, then you will never be one..

[Lyubov]

I personally don’t really believe in game skills weakening in a relationship. If anything the sex and feminine elevates a man’s energy and the girlfriend effect lifts him 1000x more than grinding pick up. You can easily spot the guys who have done a ton of pick up but haven’t been in an LTR with a really beautiful woman, fallen madly in love. Especially the guys who do pick up decently and do get sex. They lack this finesse and authenticity. Cold hearted. They don’t dress very good either. It’s an entirely different level, get a girlfriend you’re crazy about. That’s the doorway to learning about women deeply if you really want to. You become a sex god too this way. 

Edited September 20, 2024 by Lyubov

[Magnanimous]

7 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

That's not what pickup says. There is no need to game your girlfriend. Just treat her normally.

But your game skills and growth will certainly stop if you go committed with a girlfriend. That's the tradeoff. In order to get good at game you have do it full time for at least a few years, which means not being in a serious relationship.

But a serious relationship teaches other kinds of skills.

@Leo Gura How worth it is getting pickup-sourced social skills if I want world class charisma?

I can hold off from a relationship for a few years if needed

[Leo Gura]

2 minutes ago, Magnanimous said:

@Leo Gura How worth it is getting pickup-sourced social skills if I want world class charisma?

I can hold off from a relationship for a few years if needed

Depends. Try it for 6 months and see how you feel.

[Magnanimous]

1 hour ago, Lyubov said:

I personally don’t really believe in game skills weakening in a relationship. If anything the sex and feminine elevates a man’s energy and the girlfriend effect lifts him 1000x more than grinding pick up. You can easily spot the guys who have done a ton of pick up but haven’t been in an LTR with a really beautiful woman, fallen madly in love. Especially the guys who do pick up decently and do get sex. They lack this finesse and authenticity. Cold hearted. They don’t dress very good either. It’s an entirely different level, get a girlfriend you’re crazy about. That’s the doorway to learning about women deeply if you really want to. You become a sex god too this way. 

What do you thinks better for my charismas growth? Pickup, or Relationship

[Princess Arabia]

1 hour ago, Magnanimous said:

What do you thinks better for my charismas growth? Pickup, or Relationship

If you want my personal opinion from a female's perspective, here it is. Neither one, but if one of your options had to be chosen, I'd say pick-up. I'd say the best way would be to just talk to regular people you're not trying to date or hook up with and practice being charismatic then. Even your personal friends; practice on any and everybody except who you're trying to date at first to get a feel on how you're being received on the charismatic spectrum. See if people are drawn to you more, smile more, seem interested in who you are just as a person more. This way, you're more loose and comfortable and won't feel pressured to perform; and if you make an ass of yourself, you can just brush it off and move on no problem. Then when you feel more comfortable with it, then you can be more yourself with potential dates and you will get a feel for what works and what doesn't just in general. 

Edited September 20, 2024 by Princess Arabia

[Xonas Pitfall]

Hmm...  I'd suggest setting tangible goals. To be "world-class charismatic" would imply influencing and wooing people in general, not just those you want to be in a relationship with or pick up. Although, that depends on what you want out of it. What would a world-class charismatic person be able to do to consider yourself one?

1. Would they have a large audience with an almost cult-like following? (In that case, starting some sort of social media would be the best practice.)
2. Would it be fluency in speech while exuding confidence? (Then, honestly, recording your interactions with others or even talking to yourself on a recording, almost like a podcast, might be the best approach. You could mirror people you want to talk like and compare how they sound to how you sound.) A goal could be: I want to get to the point where, when I listen to my own speech, I feel as equally mesmerized, inspired, or wowed as when I listen to [insert a world-class charismatic person].
3. Would it be how quickly you can get someone to fall in love with you? How would that look? Obsession? Them confessing their love first? Wanting to have sex on the first date? A goal could be: I want to be able to pick up two girls by the end of the night.
4. You could also set more concrete goals such as: Can I make five people cry from joy or laughter this month? What about this week? Can I help seven people change their lives or get into a new career in three months?
5. Maybe it's about humor. Maybe it's about how easily you can blend into a random social group and stand out as a leader. How many people have you seen actively mirror your behavior or even outwardly admit they'd like to learn from the way you express yourself?

The more precisely specific (even "autistic") you make your goals, the more you'll be able to track your growth. Recording or getting outside feedback is crucial as well. There's no reason why you'd need to do this outside of a relationship unless you specifically mean charismatic in the sense of charming women and sleeping with as many as possible, which is also a valid goal. However, if you just want to be more charismatic, then being in a relationship won't necessarily suppress that. Good Luck! 💛

[Lyubov]

9 hours ago, Magnanimous said:

What do you thinks better for my charismas growth? Pickup, or Relationship

Relationship with a woman you’re attracted to, for sure. your deepest insecurities will surface and you’ll be able to resolve them. But focusing on your social skills and building up your extroverted side is also great. I’m continually doing this myself. You can do both.