Manuel's Journal - Spiritual Wok / Emotional Healing / Financial Freedom & more

[manuel bon]

🟤 Quote by Osho: Nonjudgment

When you judge, division starts.

You may be talking in deep conversation with a friend when suddenly you feel like being silent. You want to stop talking. right in the middle of the sentence. So stop right there, and don't even complete the rest of the sentence, because that will be going against nature.

But then judgment comes in. You feel embarrassed about what others will think if you suddenly stop talking in the middle of a sentence. If you suddenly become silent they will not understand, so you somehow manage to complete the sentence. You pretend to show interest, and then you finally escape. That is very costly, and there is no need to do it. Just say that conversation is not coming to you now. You can ask to be excused, and be silent.

For a few days perhaps it will be a little troublesome, but by and by people will begin to understand. Don't judge yourself about why you became silent; don't tell yourself that it is not good. Everything is good! In deep acceptance, everything be- comes a blessing. This is how it happened your whole being wanted to be silent. So follow it. Just become a shadow to your totality, and wherever it goes you have to follow because there is no other goal. You will begin to feel a tremendous relaxation surrounding you.

[manuel bon]

🟠30-day Microdosing Journal:  (no-dose, and dose day)

Okay, so now I will talk about my microdosing, about the 6th and the 7th day, Tuesday and Wednesday. Tuesday was no dose day, and Wednesday was a dose day, and on Tuesday I was not feeling good. I was not feeling good emotionally, I didn't manage to have a mindful day, and my awareness was not so focused, which is fine, it's not a problem.

And yesterday, with the dose day, thanks to the microdosing I managed to be more mindful. I had moments where I was full into the moment, and that was actually really good, but I couldn't keep a steady or light awareness, as Osho says, throughout the whole day. I am not working on myself a lot, I am doing a little stretching, and sometimes writing about gratefulness, but I am not doing great, talking about that. I am doing good, speaking of investing money, which is also part of my journey that I want to learn, but apart from this, things are not going so well.

[manuel bon]

🟤 Quote by Osho: The Real Robbers

There is nothing to fear because we don't have anything to lose. All that can be robbed from you is not worthwhile, so why fear, why suspect, why doubt?

These are the real robbers: doubt, suspicion, fear. They destroy your very possibility of celebration. So while on earth, celebrate the earth. While this moment lasts, enjoy it to the very core. Because of fear we miss many things. Because of fear we cannot love, or even if we love, it is always half-hearted, it is always so-so. It is always up to a certain extent and not beyond that. We always come to a point beyond which we are afraid, so we get stuck there. We cannot move deeply into friendship because of fear. We cannot pray deeply because of fear.

Be conscious but never be cautious. The distinction is very subtle. Consciousness is not rooted in fear. Caution is rooted in fear. One is cautious so that one might never go wrong, but then one cannot go very far. The very fear will not allow you to investigate new lifestyles, new channels for your energy, new directions, new lands. You will always tread the same path again and again, shuttling backward and forward-like a freight train!

[manuel bon]

🟠30-day Microdosing Journal: DAY #9 and #10 (dose day and no dose)

Yesterday I dosed, and it was not an extremely great day. I went to work in the morning, and I was mindful in some moments, but not a lot. I was working, and I had fun. I didn't feel much of the truffles. And after work I came home, I taught guitar, I had a lesson with a student, and after that I went straight to my bed, eating and watching Netflix. It was not great.

I felt really addicted to my dopamine. I was constantly looking at my investments. I am new to investing, and I made a lot of money this week, and then at the end I lost it all. I am not in negative right now, I am not in negative, so I didn't lose money, I lost just the profit, which is still not nice at all. But it's okay. What I want to say is that I really feel that I am addicted to stimulation, to dopamine. And yesterday after picking up my girlfriend Sara at a train station in another city, we went home, we had dinner, and I had a couple of more mindful moments, but not much.

Today I am really limiting my stimulation. I am not watching anything, I didn't drink any coffee or eat bad things. I have practiced really mindfully, and I am feeling good about it. The only downside is that I am doing some work from my laptop, which I feel is still stimulating my brain, and my dopamine, which I don't love, but still it's not a problem. I am not procrastinating, and I am not watching useless things. I am actually working.

[manuel bon]

🟤 Quote by Osho: Orgasm

There are moments, a few moments, far and few between, when ego disappears because you are in such a total drunkenness. In love it sometimes happens; in orgasm it sometimes happens.

In deep orgasm your history disappears, your past recedes, goes on receding, receding, and disappears. You don't have any history in orgasm, you don't have any past, you don't have any mind, you don't have any autobiography. You are utterly here now. You don't know who you are, you don't have any identity. In that moment the ego is not functioning, hence the joy of orgasm, the refreshing quality of it, the rejuvenation of it. That's why it leaves you so silent, so quiet, so relaxed, so fulfilled. But again the ego comes in, the past enters and encroaches on the present. Again history starts functioning and you stop functioning. The ego is your history, it is not a reality. And it is your enemy; the ego is the enemy.

Every person comes around this corner many times in life, because life moves in a circle. Again and again we come to the same point, but because of fear we escape from it. Otherwise the ego is a falsity. In fact, to let it die should be the easiest thing and to keep it alive should be the hardest thing, but we keep it alive and we think it is easier.