My real name is Reena Gerlach

[Buck Edwards]

I'm a bit nervous. It's Election day. 

[Buck Edwards]

Today is also therapy day. 

[Buck Edwards]

 

I was level 11 on the Showdown leaderboard. 

 

 

[Buck Edwards]

I reached level 6 yesterday on the leaderboard. 

 

[Buck Edwards]

Then I reached level 3.

 

[Buck Edwards]

Finally I reached level 1 with 2010 points. 

[Buck Edwards]

Then I gradually made 4000 points. I'm close to winning the gold cup in a few hours. 

[Buck Edwards]

And finally I made 6380 points. That's where it stands currently. 

[Buck Edwards]

Trump can win. So sad. 

 

[Buck Edwards]

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited November 6 by Buck Edwards

[Buck Edwards]

November 6 Wednesday 

What are my thoughts these days? I need to think seriously. I need to focus on my life. I need to fix things. My life this year has been quite monotonous. First I need to make a list of everything I like. 

 

 

 

 

Edited November 6 by Buck Edwards

[Buck Edwards]

 

A bit upset about Donald Trump's victory. But that's just everyday stuff. World will always move on. I'm looking for some kind of closure. Some sort of satisfaction. 

How would my life change if I had everything? I think my life would still suck. I don't like quiet afternoons. Something dark about it. Just lazy quiet afternoons. The same old Mumbai scenery where I was born. Back to my childhood days that I don't wish to remember. I had witnessed 3 terrorist attacks in my life. Even as a child. 

The afternoon brings the feeling of "life will always be the same." Nothing will change. The poor streets. Sometimes I like it. Sometimes I hate it. Who has ever liked poverty? How can anyone like poverty? I grew up in massive poverty? It wasn't fun.. People always clashing and fighting. A bad neighborhood. I remember the stores and shops I visited as a child. What's there to admire about poor streets? 

The same old bus rides and tuk tuk vehicles. We had our private family vehicle. My dad used to take me to the same place. Everything was always the same. Is there any beauty in boredom? 

 

 

Edited November 6 by Buck Edwards

[Buck Edwards]

My life sucks because I probably do not have the maturity or satisfaction I'm really looking for. I hate travel and airplanes. Every time I'm at an airport I get this sinking feeling and homesickness rapidly kicks in. 

Maybe I'm hyper 

Forget the elections. Don't think too much about it. It's depressing I know. 

Make a list of goals. 

Make a list of what you really like. 

Make a list of what triggers and bothers you.

Also make a list of what makes you feel insecure and things you need a closure on. 

When you are surrounded by beauty, understanding, acceptance, and resonance, can you be impacted by anything at all? Whatever is not beauty reject it. Cut it off and throw it out of your life.. Your life is meant to be beautiful Girl.

When you are closer and closer and closer to God, you'll begin to feel the resonance. 

 

 

 

 

Edited November 6 by Buck Edwards

[Buck Edwards]

Won the gold cup in the event. 

[Buck Edwards]

I'm just mostly in my own world. 

[Buck Edwards]

Why can't my life purpose be exploring beauty, magnificence and intelligence. 

Why can't I just be an observer? 

[Buck Edwards]

Why can't my life purpose be exploring love and peace? 

[Buck Edwards]

A few exercises. 

Visualization technique 

Writing 10 beautiful lines. 

Love of Krishna. 

Honesty 

Negative Visualization 

Self Deprecation

Exploring success.

 

[Marcel]

4 hours ago, Buck Edwards said:

Why can't my life purpose be exploring love and peace? 
Why can't my life purpose be exploring beauty, magnificence and intelligence. 

Why can't I just be an observer? 

It can be hun 

I‘ll gladly help you in realising any life purpose. Just like you would do for me ❤️

[Buck Edwards]

My husband told me this and it's the best thing - 

The only solution I have found to this is doing my best every day and slowly calibrating my focus back to myself and being proud of my work.