My real name is Reena Gerlach

[Buck Edwards]

Causes of nightmares. Delve into that. 

 

 

Relaxing image therapy. 

 

Edited September 23 by Buck Edwards

[Buck Edwards]

How would you create a perfect day? 

I should ask myself. 

                              

 

 

 

 

Edited September 23 by Buck Edwards

[Buck Edwards]

My first therapy session went well. 

[Buck Edwards]

Why am I supposed to be so confused between masculinity and femininity? 

[Buck Edwards]

My goals in my life should be more organic. 

I made this post but I still feel a bit awkward. 

 

Edited September 30 by Buck Edwards

[Buck Edwards]

When something is too good to be true, it's usually bullshit. 

[Buck Edwards]

My current specifics - 

• Focus on authenticity
• Integrate masculinity 
• Focus on core principle 
• Integrate anything 
• Therapy work
• Push away both masculine and feminine negativity. Don't absorb this stuff 
• Self development of course 
• Masculine feminine integration 
• High consciousness 
• Being authentically creative 

 

[Buck Edwards]

 

 4 core things that I have identified - 

• First is IQ
• Confidence 
• Emotional and mental health
• Mastery 

 

[Buck Edwards]

When I look back at myself, there are just so many things that I did that I would consider "immature" and I have outgrown so much. It's incredible.. I still have some masculine energy to integrate and I don't do a good job at it. 

[Buck Edwards]

Inject this thing into my head - 

 

Who you are is what matters. 

Who you are is what matters. 

Who you are is what matters. 

Who you are is what matters. 

Who you are is what matters. 

Who you are is what matters. 

Who you are is what matters.

 

Edited September 30 by Buck Edwards

[Buck Edwards]

Beyond Self 

Beyond Self

Beyond Self 

 

[Buck Edwards]

If I look beyond the self, everything will just dissolve. Nothing will really matter and that's the kind of state I want to achieve. I interact in the forum everyday but I feel like my interaction is not enough. 

[Buck Edwards]

This forum is not the entire world although it creates that sort of an illusion. There's also much greater out there and beyond whatever I perceive and see. I should adapt to my surroundings, just in general, know that it's never your fault, even the most miniscule effort you put in, it's worth it in the end. I keep nudging myself forward. I try to make meaning out of my own life. Keep things at bay, things that don't matter to me in the larger context. Everything is contextual after all. It's all hard work in the end that pays off. If there's no path then you carve a path, simple as that. There is no God out there to help you. Be gentle with yourself, keep pushing slightly and you will get there. I refuse to speak more and silence is my new language. I just try to make sense of everything. One thing is to just sit by sidelines and watch stuff as it unfolds, observe, don't rush. Don't tug at it. Keep a firm resolve. Maybe in another era things will be different. Remember you don't have to impress anyone. Just go with the flow and things will fall in place. Write random stuff, start somewhere. 

 

[Buck Edwards]

In a nutshell - every country does what they can for their own survival agenda without having any compassion for another country or people. 

It's also politics in a nutshell.

And that's why politics is dirty and that's why I don't bother with it, because I see all the brutality and I can't do anything to change it. Power is in the hands of corrupt criminal leaders. The least that people can do is vote for a conscious leader who is not into war mongering but even that is difficult to achieve, you can see that with Trump. I ranted a lot about it in the past but here we are once again and Trump is running. So what can be done? Just sit and watch. Or create an organization tha

 

         

One way in which I can change my life today. Think of it. I have been mostly vague lately with very little focus on what's essential. I'm just living but not thriving. Today I learned that I need to set an intention if I want to achieve my goals.

What I earned from the forum today? 

I got this piece of music that is so tantalizing and blissful to my practice. It helped me with my trauma processing. 

 

https://i.imgflip.com/94e4yj.gif

 

 

 

Edited October 1 by Buck Edwards

[Buck Edwards]

There's no use of interacting too much on the forum. It can lead to distraction from real work sometimes. Of course there are pros and cons. 

[Buck Edwards]

Doing your own work is best especially in solitude. 

[Buck Edwards]

 

                               

My insights, I will record here. 

I want to do deep spiritual work. That's what I was designed for. That was my whole purpose for the last 7 years or so. That's what I continue. It will require hardcore contemplation. On my own. All Alone. Some people fear this path. I don't know why. Anyway I'm on a long journey now. I have to live my life. I had promised myself years ago that I wouldn't betray my spiritual journey and that's exactly what I entail to do, I intend to keep my promise. It's harder than usual and sometimes experiences are very hard to capture in words but I will try my best. 

 

[Buck Edwards]

I want to create a mini prototype of the forum in my journal. So I can track my progress chapter by chapter. 

Personal Development 

Spirituality and Consciousness 

Psychedelics 

Society and Politics

Life Purpose and career 

Dating and Relationships 

Health 

Philosophy 

Mental health 

High Consciousness 

Off Topic

 

I can use this for my guided meditations. 

 

Edited October 1 by Buck Edwards

[Buck Edwards]

I want to create a daily checklist. 

Personal Development - doing bit by bit 

Spirituality and Consciousness - I learned something valuable yesterday 

Psychedelics - NA

Society and Politics - I want to be less interested in this as time goes by 

Life Purpose and career - I still have to figure out my life purpose

Dating and Relationships - I have a great relationship so far 

Health - I suck at this but getting there 

Philosophy - NA

Mental health - this is my area of focus after spirituality 

High Consciousness  - NA

Off Topic - NA 

 

                          

 

When something generates a prolonged emotional reaction in you, it's called a trigger event. 

Practice productive ways of handling life situations. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited October 2 by Buck Edwards

[Buck Edwards]

To increase my self awareness I'll have to play the self awareness quiz. 

One of the best exercises for self awareness is to ask —

What are my thoughts today? 

Answer - 

I'm afraid that people will judge me. It worries me the most. I dislike judgement. I hate it to the core. I hate it more than I hate anything. It bothers me so much that it consumes a lot of my time and becomes a serious obstacle. 

 

1. Create space and time. 

Connect with yourself daily, avoid digital distractions, carve out solitude.

2. Practice mindfulness. Pay attention to your inner state as it arises. Try mindful walking, listening and eating. 

3. Journal your awareness - process your thoughts through writing. Record your inner states. 

4. Practice listening - pay attention to speaker. Observe emotions and body language. Don't judge or evaluate. 

 

5. Gain a different perspective. Ask for feedback. 

Edited October 3 by Buck Edwards