Not feeling able to let go

[Hugo Oliveira]

I really want to change my life's circumstances. Most of us here know how much effort and energy it demands. 

When I hear spiritual teachings like "nothing can make you happy" or "everything you got will make you miserable", or "just detach from the outcomes", it destroys my motivation and almost makes me suicidal.

I know that there is some truth in these teachings, I know that mundane satisfaction is suspicious. But I'm struggling so much with the idea of accepting everything and living a "spiritual life".

It is like both spiritual and material satisfaction feels out of reach for me right now.

Plus, I have a lot of bills. 

 

[theleelajoker]

What are you expecting from posting here?

Understanding, advice, concrete tips what to do, etc.?

[Atb210201]

If you can't let go don't let go

Go after what you want

Just do what you want

[Breakingthewall]

21 minutes ago, Hugo Oliveira said:

When I hear spiritual teachings like "nothing can make you happy" or "everything you got will make you miserable", or "just detach from the outcomes", it destroys my motivation and almost makes me suicidal.

It's a lie, if you have a business and everything goes great it makes you happy, and if everything goes wrong, makes you miserable, and if Kim jong un capture you and makes you break stones with a mallet 16 hours a day, you will be even more miserable. The point is that happy or miserable are relative states, but they exist. 

[El Zapato]

I can help...one of the places to look is under:  'Fear of Abandonment'.  It is a good place to start to look for answers.  It isn't easy to understand the deep and underlying motivations that drive us.  But not wanting to change 'or let go' is a natural instinct that can become an outsized focal point of our 'beingness'  as a consequence of trauma.  Looking for a way to 'deal' with that is a very worthwhile pursuit.

 

Lots of bills doesn't help worth a damn...  

Edited September 12 by El Zapato

[Hugo Oliveira]

34 minutes ago, theleelajoker said:

What are you expecting from posting here?

Understanding, advice, concrete tips what to do, etc.?

I think all these things could be good! Thank you.

[Hugo Oliveira]

20 minutes ago, Atb210201 said:

If you can't let go don't let go

Go after what you want

Just do what you want

Thank you. It makes sense. But in the back of my mind sometimes it feels as if I don't know what I really want. Or even as if I am deluding myself into wanting something that I don't really want. 

[Hugo Oliveira]

23 minutes ago, Breakingthewall said:

It's a lie, if you have a business and everything goes great it makes you happy, and if everything goes wrong, makes you miserable, and if Kim jong un capture you and makes you break stones with a mallet 16 hours a day, you will be even more miserable. The point is that happy or miserable are relative states, but they exist. 

Thank you. I think this mindset is what is putting my life in motion after a long time of depression. I want a better lifestyle and a business that is not so draining. The point is that sometimes this longing makes me feel in a hamster wheel without getting significantly anywhere. This is what is scaring me now. 

[Hugo Oliveira]

28 minutes ago, El Zapato said:

I can help...one of the places to look is under:  'Fear of Abandonment'.  It is a good place to start to look for answers.  It isn't easy to understand the deep and underlying motivations that drive us.  But not wanting to change 'or let go' is a natural instinct that can become an outsized focal point of our 'beingness'  as a consequence of trauma.  Looking for a way to 'deal' with that is a very worthwhile pursuit.

I'm not sure about abandonment but I have the intuition about some traumatic energy involved in this process. Thanks for bringing that up.

[BlueOak]

As someone said: Then don't let go. Improve.

1) This seems like two things. A core issue, something that needs a person there with you saying write your reasons for improving something down and then do it. Ditto changing if you feel that's the course. 

Depression is like rolling a big boulder, it takes a long time to get it moving, and feels like its heavy, but as it gets moving it gets easier (and sometimes squashes your feet along the way). I've been there many times.

2) When you have a stuck emotion in your body good, you are aware of it! That lets you sit with it, and see what it needs/wants. It can heal you, you can heal it. (Learn/Protect/Comfort let whatever comes up come up etc) If you've not done teals completion process have a look, I still use it on stuck emotions in the nervous system to do this day:
 

This next one is a playlist someone put together, I'd advise going to the link (top right of the video) to have a browse
 

Reality is quite literally not only experienced through your emotional state but also altered by it so what occurs is directly happening inside your own chest/ribs/head/legs etc.

Edited September 12 by BlueOak

[El Zapato]

39 minutes ago, Hugo Oliveira said:

I'm not sure about abandonment but I have the intuition about some traumatic energy involved in this process. Thanks for bringing that up.

yeah, I wasn't either but I wanted to start there, just in case...

[El Zapato]

21 minutes ago, BlueOak said:

As someone said: Then don't let go. Improve.

1) This seems like two things. A core issue, something that needs a person there with you saying write your reasons for improving something down and then do it. Ditto changing if you feel that's the course. 

Depression is like rolling a big boulder, it takes a long time to get it moving, and feels like its heavy, but as it gets moving it gets easier (and sometimes squashes your feet along the way). I've been there many times.

2) When you have a stuck emotion in your body good, you are aware of it! That lets you sit with it, and see what it needs/wants. It can heal you, you can heal it. (Learn/Protect/Comfort let whatever comes up come up etc) If you've not done teals completion process have a look, I still use it on stuck emotions in the nervous system to do this day:
 

This next one is a playlist someone put together, I'd advise going to the link (top right of the video) to have a browse
 

Reality is quite literally not only experienced through your emotional state but also altered by it so what occurs is directly happening inside your own chest/ribs/head/legs etc.

She is one of my favorites.  In my opinion very enlightened.  She has been maligned for her sexiness...just jealously...  

[Adilbek]

Hey buddy, I was in the same boat. But then I stopped bulshitting myself with the spiritual ego and started to discover what I actually wanted out of life and going for it as much as possible.

Mushrooms really helped me with it. Ironically they make you spiritual but at the same time they help you "kill" the spiritual ego bullshit that you developed as a result of following all kinds of gurus saying you should just relax. This is bullshit. Mushrooms just showed me that I have fucking great goals and ambitions in life and I want to fucking achieve them and there's no authority in this world to stop me. Mushrooms just showed me that I was giving away all my power to everybody and anybody and I need to take it back into my own hands.

Life is very very simple, extremely simple.

1) Ask yourself, "what do I want?"

2) Go and fucking get it

This is THE MOST spiritual shit in this world, because it's literally God's will unfolding. Your will. It is the root of life, love, energy, creation. It's pure creation. Life is what you make of it, because you are the Creator!

All the best! P.S. I am no different than you, I still have problems and shit, doubts etc. But you will realize that these are just the beauties of life that you get to experience

[Nivsch]

Your brain, like everyone else's, is structured to a unique spiritual path.

What are your most profound desires?

What are your main fears and insecurities?

Deal with all that directly, in your phase you can handle and in a way you decide is the best.

Be in a curious investful attitude and you can learn something new every day just from your mind alone.

You can get help from external sources too, but put your mind in the top priority.

Edited September 13 by Nivsch

[Theplay]

@Hugo Oliveira Every teaching is for another stage in the journey , from reading this post I think you need to improve your material foundation first before going deeper into spirituality. You do not live in a Zen monastery so you need to take care of everyday existence.

I'm struggling with it myself and can say that a very good place to start is making good habits and routines.

I's hard to get it started but whence you got a good habit rolling it has its own inertia.

You can start with small things and then change some bigger stuff.

[BlueOak]

19 hours ago, El Zapato said:

She is one of my favorites.  In my opinion very enlightened.  She has been maligned for her sexiness...just jealously...  

Infinity probably picked that because we are very imaged-focused as a society right now. Beauty has always drawn attention to a subject or person but perhaps now most of all with the projection of tiktok and social media phase of our collective egoic development. This is until we heal collectively from our narcissism which I do happily see signs of around me.

[traveler]

On 12.9.2024 at 1:20 PM, Hugo Oliveira said:

I really want to change my life's circumstances. Most of us here know how much effort and energy it demands. 

When I hear spiritual teachings like "nothing can make you happy" or "everything you got will make you miserable", or "just detach from the outcomes", it destroys my motivation and almost makes me suicidal.

I know that there is some truth in these teachings, I know that mundane satisfaction is suspicious. But I'm struggling so much with the idea of accepting everything and living a "spiritual life".

It is like both spiritual and material satisfaction feels out of reach for me right now.

Plus, I have a lot of bills. 

The reason that none of these teachings are satisfactory is because they are evil. They are not the truth. The reason you are suicidal because of them should be a good indicator that you shouldn't trust them. I was confused and hopeless too, I bought into the non dual perception and acted like I understood the contradictory jargon that non dualists teach, until I got off this forum, and stopped watching non dual youtube videos and started living my life away from it all. After a couple of years I finally found the truth, and the truth is that Jesus Christ is the son of the one and true God, and that he died on the cross for the sins of all. The only way to life, is through him, truly.

I was not Christian before, and I didn't grow up in a Christian family. Before I saw the truth I was very skeptical of Jesus and thought religious people were far behind me developmentally - how could they see God as something separate from them, I thought, they obviously haven't had an awakening into "God" consciousness or tried psychedelics... We humans are so arrogant it is amazing, and I was the most arrogant of them all. We love to act like we know everything, but if you humble yourself and come to Jesus, you will find what true knowing is, true wisdom. He grants you access to the truth and to the light, and he protects you against all of these spells that are casted by "gurus" and "non-dual spiritually awakened people."

"Beware of false prophets, which come to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves. Ye shall know them by their fruits." - Jesus - Matthew 7:15-16.  

You are not God, and I am not God. 

If you want to get delivered from all of this devilry and you want to see the light, buy a bible and start reading the eyewitness testimonies Matthew, Mark, Luke and John.

God bless you! 

[Atb210201]

On 12/09/2024 at 3:40 PM, Hugo Oliveira said:

Thank you. It makes sense. But in the back of my mind sometimes it feels as if I don't know what I really want. Or even as if I am deluding myself into wanting something that I don't really want. 

You know what you want every moment