is it okay to borrow my neighbour's keyboard under these circumstances?

[Judy2]

stupid question but i thought i'll hear what you guys might have to say on this.

my neighbour asked to go on a date with me in April, to which i said i'm not open to it but we can be friends. we went for a few walks after that and in August he bought a keyboard for himself and also let me play, knowing that i'm having a difficult time. a few weeks after that he confronted me again, asking if i'm sure about friendzoning him (he literally said it like that) and i explained that i'm currently not in a good place and not ready to be with anyone.

less than two weeks after that he informed me that he'd been having "company" and i shouldn't come over to his place, but he offered that i could borrow the keyboard and store it at my place given that he's not really using it. i declined that offer but met him again in the hallway today and he said the offer still stands.

now i wonder if it's justified that i'm hesitant about accepting. on the other hand, it might be good for my mental health to have an instrument to play, as stupid as that sounds. but i don't wanna be a bitch and i don't wanna take advantage or anything, and also don't wanna owe. is my reluctance to say yes justified or should i be a bit selfish and accept?

[Something Funny]

You mean a piano keyboard, right?

I don't think it's a big deal or that it's selfish to borrow it if you want to and if he doesn't need it.

[Judy2]

3 minutes ago, Something Funny said:

You mean a piano keyboard, right?

yes:)

[NoSelfSelf]

Keep in mind everything he's doing is in hopes to one day sleeping with you.With that being said ,you were clear but i hope extra clear that you want friendship only, because those guys think presistence is the way to womens heart 😂, then there is nothing you can about it, he played himself if you borrow it you are not a bitch,but weak guys would think you are  beware.

Edited September 11 by NoSelfSelf

[Elton]

@Judy2 take it and practice it everyday until you become good at it.

[Schizophonia]

Do you mean in newspeak that you're afraid to tell him that you don't like him but at the same time like this piano?

[Michael569]

Sounds like he has a a pretty toxic residue. Could you buy your own music instrument and cut this guy off? 

[LoseYourvelf]

1 minute ago, Michael569 said:

Sounds like he has a a pretty toxic residue. Could you buy your own music instrument and cut this guy off? 

I've know a guy with a toxic residue since he was a pole
 

[Judy2]

40 minutes ago, Schizophonia said:

Do you mean in newspeak that you're afraid to tell him that you don't like him but at the same time like this piano?

i told him i don't want to date him twice, because he asked.

[Judy2]

40 minutes ago, Michael569 said:

Sounds like he has a a pretty toxic residue. Could you buy your own music instrument and cut this guy off? 

what do you think is toxic about him?

 

i found it a bit shocking when he told me less than two weeks after confronting me that he's already started seeing someone new. maybe i'm really conservative in this regard though. i considered it might be a good thing that he goes after what he wants, but i was also wondering if his ego was hurt and he compensated the rejection by quickly getting with another woman.

although i thought it was a relief that he still offered the keyboard even afterwards, cause then there aren't any strings attached? ...or maybe there are, not sure.

 

i have a piano at my grandma's but that's across the country. ....will have to figure something out:)

[Keryo Koffa]

I don't know what kind of earth drama/rom-com/comedy/slice of life type situation this is winding up to be so it's hard to give advice.

[Judy2]

@Keryo Koffa it's not supposed to be any of those things in this case

[Atb210201]

You can borrow the keyboard I don't see anything wrong in that

He offered it himself so you can if you want

[Lila9]

I would offer him a symbolic payment/deposit of up to 10% of the value of the keyboard for storing it at my place.

Whether he takes the money or not, the most important thing is that you have offered some value in return for the borrowing.

In case he causes any drama or makes you feel guilty or obligated in some way for borrowing his keyboard, you can remind him that you offered payment for it.

 

[ExplorerMystic]

@Judy2 You might know the answer already. If you are passionate and love playing keyboard ; you can buy one. There is high probability as you told him twice that you don't want date him and that guy still want to impress you.

[Michael569]

3 hours ago, Judy2 said:

what do you think is toxic about him?

I can only go by what you wrote in this post but there is something creepy about the guy. 

First he asks he out which you decline so that would be enough for most guys to back off. Later he confronts you about friend zoning him (although frankly if you don't really want him in your life, you guys shouldn't be hanging out as friends either because you're kindling hope for relationship in him). The he does the thing with about telling you he has a "company" (you put that word in quotation marks hence I presume it was a female company or something of that sort?). The way he jumped to another girl just shows you what he really wanted from you. if you want to be happy in life, do your best to protect yourself from fuckboys, they'll mess you up leaving you depressed, hollow and abandoned. A guy who really cares about you won't mind courting you for months and he'll be blind to other women. 

You're better off looking for a second hand market for a piano and cutting that dude of

Edited September 11 by Michael569

[Something Funny]

43 minutes ago, Michael569 said:

The way he jumped to another girl just shows you what he really wanted from you. if you want to be happy in life, do your best to protect yourself from fuckboys, they'll mess you up leaving you depressed, hollow and abandoned. A guy who really cares about you won't mind courting you for months and he'll be blind to other women. 

Why would you want to "court" (stalk) someone for months if they already said that they don't want to have a relationship with you? Sounds way more toxic to me.

[Judy2]

@Lila9 yes, either i do that or i don't accept at all. thank you:)

[Judy2]

1 hour ago, ExplorerMystic said:

@Judy2 You might know the answer already. If you are passionate and love playing keyboard ; you can buy one. There is high probability as you told him twice that you don't want date him and that guy still want to impress you.

Maybe he doesn't want to impress me anymore, but he wants to play it cool? otherwise, it'd look like he only offered it to impress me before?

[Michael569]

17 minutes ago, Something Funny said:

Why would you want to "court" (stalk) someone for months if they already said that they don't want to have a relationship with you? Sounds way more toxic to me.

No, this is different. Firstly, that sort of guy wouldn't just ask her out like that without feeling like they are already close to each other. Sometimes it would just happen and the ice breaks without you needing to even ask the girl anything. I appreciate how old-school this sounds but honestly you don't wanna date someone who isn't already a good friend of yours. 

At the same time, if the courting guys gets the signal that there is no chance, he will give up early on. But you don't just approach the girl and pop the question like that. He wouldn't stalk, lol. 

Edited September 11 by Michael569