Coping with anxiety when talking to crush

[emil1234]

ive been getting heavily back into pickup lately. ive been getting pretty nice results, and id say my game is pretty good by now. 

I'm totally chilled out, relaxed and myself when i talk to girls, in nearly all cases. i have no problem walking up to a girl asking for her instagram or if she wants to go home with me, stuff like that. HOWEVER. I now find myself in a situation where i've acquired a pretty intense crush. and i find that i fucking cant talk to her lol. we've flirted around quite a bit, both shown interest in one another,had some nice conversations and such. then we didnt see eachother for about a week, and during that time my crush on her grew dramatically lol. 

i then ran into her today, and i was FUCKING CRIPPLED by anxiety lol. couldnt talk to her casually, couldnt keep proper eye contact, etc. how the fuck does one talk to a girl that they actually like? (IVE NEVER BEEN IN LOVE, SO LITERALLY NEVER TRIED IT(not that im in love with her)).

also, how the fuck do i practice this? i feel like its kind of a waste practicing on my crush now that i finally have a crush.

i was pretty surprised by this, since i should be a master of anxiety by now (i do cold showers every day, breathwork, meditate etc, so i have pretty decent control over my nervous system)

Edited September 10 by emil1234

[manuel bon]

6 hours ago, emil1234 said:

(i do cold showers every day, breathwork, meditate etc,

Great that you do these practices! Then you're familiar with becoming present in the right now.wjen you meet her bring yourself to the present moment and don't overthink 

She's a crush overall, you're probably not gonna marry her (or maybe you will, who knows? 🤔). If you don't try on her, then how are you going to succeed (with her or with the next ones)?

[Javfly33]

you see her above your league/like a goddess now, so basicially you are fucked. As long as you hold that image/concept inside your mind about her you will end up repelling her, not attracting her.

The dating world is as dystopian as that. When you really like a girl, youll never have her. When you dont care much about her, then you can have her. 

The thing is designed to guarantee frustration, or disatisfaction because of disconnection to her.

[Raze]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sNDvf0q2Xds

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ri4-HZxcEJg

[enchanted]

Just do it. 

[Sandhu]

@Javfly33 WoW, so true.

[emil1234]

@Javfly33 i know i raged on you in one of my other posts, but this super true. thanks haha

[Schizophonia]

@emil1234 You must love a girl because she lets you invest libidinally in her, that is, use her as a person to give "gifts" to in one form or another.

You are intimidated because you are trying to use a girl as proof of your persona.
For example if you play the "ambitious" archetype because you think it is necessary to not feel shame or feelings like that (for example because of education), well getting closer to this mirror will actually decrease the stress response and create attraction.
But you will actually be in a feminine position, because unconsciously you are using the relationship for your survival.

Normal man: Essentially selfless energy -> pleasure in sacrifice/investment in the outside world like a business, a big car or even a woman -> giving gifts to a girl (not necessarily physical gifts, it can be humor, prestige, intelligence...) -> "the hand that gives is above the one that receives" so you naturally take power over her (overall, things are not split like that in absolute terms).

You: You are insecure about your identity (ego) so you use a girl as a means of demonstrating it to the world ("I am an intellectual, so i must be with an intellectual, because otherwise it is not good, it would devalue me (unconsciously in the eyes of parents, early influence, Oedipus complex and all that...)"), this reassures you and you can fall in love with the girl, but you will be feminine and in fact certainly not very sexually interested because you will already be much more on the side of the one who bases his survival and the representations of survival/power/phallus on the other.

Idk if it's clear.

Edited September 18 by Schizophonia