Women do not Love men, they Love you as a provider. Do you agree?

[Javfly33]

Whereas the provider means experiences, a good friend, money, emotional security (a rock, a leader, etc), good sex, etc...

Men on the other hand can actually get infatuated in an unriddled, irrational, insane way to a femenine figure.

 I got infatuated 3 times in my life with 3 women, not because of what they were proving to me (basically nothing) but because a mixture of IQ, spiritual affinity and beautiful body just created in me a feeling of Love and Admiration that just felt like 'I love Life because such a being can exist, the mere fact that she exists is fucking amazing'.

But it seems women NEVER can have that feeling to a man. And that crushes the man.

 I NEVER experienced from any of these 3 women not even the 5% on intensity and admiration for me that I projected to them. Even though I´m also an interesting male.

Only if I provide them what they need in terms of pure survival then they will 'like me'. Of course is not Me who likes, is what I provide. 

They don´t understand the infatuation and love the masculine has in the femenine. They completely don´t give a fuck about this, about true love, they only interested in fucking utility, is so incredibly dystopic and sad. 

Edited September 9 by Javfly33

[WillCameron]

Somebody already talked about this today in this thread - actualized.org/forum/topic/103971-women-don’t-love-you-they-love-the-life-style-you-can-provide/?__cpo=aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYWN0dWFsaXplZC5vcmc

My response to their post follows:

I think the mistake that people often make when discovering tragedy is that they start thinking everything is "really" tragic. One of the ways that the neuropsychologist Iain McGilchrist has talked about the left brain hemisphere's dominance in our culture is in the left hemispheres need for perfection. So for example, the Platonic Forms are envisioning some metaphysically "more real than our reality" realm in which the perfect form of everything we see exist. All chairs we see are the baser instantiations of the perfect Platonic form of "chair". 

How this manifests in our culture can often be seen in terms of morality. People realize that perfect altruism can't exist because even in the case of self-sacrifice you do it because you believe it is a good thing to do, and so you feel good knowing you sacrificed yourself for a worthy cause. This realization makes them nihilistic because they think that at base everyone is selfish. 

The issue here is that we've become so hooked on the "perfect" altruism, that anything less is interpreted as being the worst opposite. We're either perfectly altruistic or we're all the basest form of selfish, which makes sense because it is the mirror image of perfect. It's like the anti-Platonic form or anti-perfection. 

The truth is that this perfection that the left hemisphere is focused on cannot exist and so comparing ourselves to an impossible perfection we can never reach is foolish. The reality is that true altruism cannot exist, but that doesn't take away from the very real ways in which people asymptotically approach altruism. If someone does something good for you they didn't just do it because they were selfish, but because they actually wanted to help you, even if they also benefitted from that.

While selfishness is one motivator, reducing all of our motivators to mere selfishness is to deny the complex reality of all the various reasons we do things. Again, it is the left hemisphere that breaks the world down into parts and hyper-fixates on the one that it believes matters most. It is the right hemisphere that is able to hold reality at complexity, and see that just because one motivator is selfishness, doesn't mean there aren't other motivators that matter just as much and sometimes even more. We have to take in the gestalt, the whole, if we want to understand human motivation.

So applying that to the question you have, yes women obviously have standards, but so do you. Are there women whose physical appearance would have you reject them no matter how good of a person they were? Does that mean you love the beautiful woman you marry any less? Our standards create the conditions by which we can create a good, satisfying relationship and it is within that context that "true love" can flower. However much there were standards that needed to be set, that love is no less real because what you consider "real true love" is a perfection that cannot exist. Why create resentful, bitter ideologies around non-existent realities?

[aurum]

We just had one of these threads. Stop consuming manosphere garbage.

This stuff feeds into and amplifies all your male biases and whatever pain you have around women. Very toxic.

Notice how badly you want all this to be true.

Edited September 9 by aurum

[Keryo Koffa]

Reverse "male" and "female" across the post, and you'll find the exact same content all over the net.

35 minutes ago, Javfly33 said:

Whereas the provider means experiences, a good friend, money, emotional security (a rock, a leader, etc), good sex, etc...
Whereas the trophy means support, a good therapist, looks, emotional validation (a shoulder, caretaker) good sex. etc...

Men on the other hand can actually get infatuated in an unriddled, irrational, insane way to a femenine figure.
Women on the other hand can actually get infatuated in an unriddled, irrational, insane way to a masculine figure.

 I got infatuated 3 times in my life with 3 women, not because of what they were proving to me (basically nothing) but because a mixture of IQ, spiritual affinity and beautiful body just created in me a feeling of Love and Admiration that just felt like 'I love Life because such a being can exist, the mere fact that she exists is fucking amazing'.
 I got infatuated 3 times in my life with 3 men, not because of what they were offering me (basically nothing) but because a mixture of IQ, spiritual affinity and beautiful body just created in me a feeling of Love and Admiration that just felt like 'I love Life because such a being can exist, the mere fact that he exists is fucking amazing'.

But it seems women NEVER can have that feeling to a man. And that crushes the man.
But it seems men NEVER can have that feeling to a woman. And that crushes the woman.

 I NEVER experienced from any of these 3 women not even the 5% on intensity and admiration for me that I projected to them. Even though I´m also an interesting male.
I NEVER experienced from any of these 3 men not even the 5% on intensity and admiration for me that I projected to them. Even though I´m also an interesting female.

Only if I provide them what they need in terms of pure survival then they will 'like me'. Of course is not Me who likes, is what I provide. 
Only if I provide them what they need in terms of ego boost then they will 'like me'. Of course is not Me who likes, is what I represent.

They don´t understand the infatuation and love the masculine has in the femenine. They completely don´t give a fuck about this, about true love, they only interested in fucking utility, is so incredibly dystopic and sad. 
They don´t understand the infatuation and love the feminine has in the masculine. They completely don´t give a fuck about this, about true love, they only interested in fucking appearance, is so incredibly dystopic and sad. 

Edited September 9 by Keryo Koffa

[Schizophonia]

6 minutes ago, Keryo Koffa said:

Reverse "male" and "female" across the post, and you'll find the exact same content all over the net.

Spot on

[Keryo Koffa]

11 minutes ago, Schizophonia said:

Spot on

You wouldn't understand. You're a "male" and all men are shameless pigs without emotions who only care about looks!
Well, at least you're not a woman, "females" are manipulative psychopaths, who only care to extract money out of you! 
"Sincerest apologies, it appears my neural net's coherence is being overrun by increasingly repetitive forum content 😁"

Edited September 9 by Keryo Koffa

[BlueOak]

I'll repeat what I said in the last one.

If you are a provider, and they love that, they are loving that part of you. If that's all they love its a shallow relationship with not much relating or love going on.

I gave two examples to filter this:

• Think of cheap, or better free, but sentimental and purposeful gifts you can give to her regarding your relationship, and see how she reacts when you give them to her. 
• Ask her to pay half on the first date, it's not a perfect filter as people can object for different reasons. but it helps. That first date is all about getting to know each other, often on a surface compatibility level, which can quite honestly be as simple as agreeing (or disagreeing) on a location or activity to tell you something about her.

Visual beauty is nice. Spiritual people are often interesting but until you are in close proximity, getting hot under your collar when she's standing 5 feet away, I don't call those things romantic attraction. This is why I detest dating apps honestly and much prefer the idea of speed dating in person. Dating apps can give you cerebral compatibility, but it's meaningless without that biochemical reaction going on.

 

[RendHeaven]

4 hours ago, Javfly33 said:

 I NEVER experienced from any of these 3 women not even the 5% on intensity and admiration for me that I projected to them. Even though I´m also an interesting male.

That means you're cripplingly unattractive. Be hotter.

[Emerald]

Of course women experience that level of interest and attraction towards the men they have feelings for. And it isn't just some utilitarian thing.

Women can get super obsessed with a particular man because she like his personality and likes being around him... in a way that doesn't even have to do with ANY specific quality he has... not even looks.

People fall in love with other people. It's just how it is.

Also, women could (and often do) come to similar conclusions to the one you did but with regard to men not being capable of feeling real feelings towards women. And that's because of a VERY common pattern of men only liking us for surface level qualities like physical appearance.

And you mentioned looks as one of the main elements of what gives you the warm and fuzzies towards a woman.

But you don't recognize that you're engaging in a similar type of objectification that you fear is the nature of female attraction. You're just not used to being objectified for your looks, so you don't recognize it.

But what you said above would be the equivalent to a woman saying "It's a shame that men only capable of objectifying us and liking us for our looks and sex appeal, when we just need a man to have a spiritual interests, innate intelligence, a big penis and a fat wallet to be irrationally infatuated with him."

So if you introspect a bit, you can recognize that the objectification that you assume women are doing to men is actually something that you yourself are doing... and that that's a big part of where these concerns and projections are coming from.

The more a man sees the value of women through a more objectifying lens, the more he will come to believe that women are objectifying him.

But this is only his own reflection staring back at him.

You just don't recognize it as such because you are not used to being objectified based on your looks. And then you worry that women will do the same to you based off of money.

[Leo Gura]

@Javfly33 Just your projections.

[Princess Arabia]

56 minutes ago, Emerald said:

The more a man sees the value of women through a more objectifying lens, the more he will come to believe that women are objectifying him.

Exactly. That's why men are so critical of women because they see these qualities in themselves in the opposite way and think all or most women do the same with men. They refuse to see how a woman is justified in being concerned with how her family is going to be taken care of if she falls for a broke man. They themselves don't even respect women that does this. They level up while with the one that accepted them broke, then leave her for the one that wouldn't after they get their shit together. 

Edited September 10 by Princess Arabia

[Buck Edwards]

3 minutes ago, Princess Arabia said:

They level up while with the one that accepted them broke, then leave her for the one that wouldn't after they get their shit together. 

This exactly happened to me. I dated a broke guy for his personality. I accepted him. But as soon as he leveled up, he began cheating on me and told me he had more options now. Karma came and she cheated on him and he came back to me. I told him no. 

[Princess Arabia]

6 hours ago, Javfly33 said:

But it seems women NEVER can have that feeling to a man. And that crushes the man.

This is just your experience. Believe it or not, lots of women say the same thing about men. This is what can happen when men chase after women. They'll be opportunists and just say yes for what they can get out of you. Men should approach women, but allow her to freely reciprocate. Never continue if she seems disengaged and not interested, even if you think she's playing hard to get because that's just game playing. Somewhat reserved, yes, but learn how to spot the signs that she's truly interested. Men are too busy wasting energy on boosting their egos instead of diving in and really investigate how women really are and what makes them tick and how they are when interested. No clue.

Edited September 10 by Princess Arabia

[Princess Arabia]

20 minutes ago, Buck Edwards said:

This exactly happened to me. I dated a broke guy for his personality. I accepted him. But as soon as he leveled up, he began cheating on me and told me he had more options now. Karma came and she cheated on him and he came back to me. I told him no. 

Yes, that's what some of them do. Here's the deal, men find worth different from how women do. They crave to please and are driven to be needed. Whether they realize it or not. If they're not doing anything to feel worthy of your love, they'll resent you for it because you've settled and they want to level up themselves to feel worthy. A lot of men are motivated by women, to be loved by women to be wanted by women and that's why some of them pursue success. If you accept them broke their motivation is shattered and they feel worthless and that's why so many low-income ones become abusive and beat on their women and cheat on them etc, because they don't respect them for settling. You have enabled them to stay lazy, but when they have found the motivation to level up for whatever reason, they leave you for the woman who wouldn't have accepted them broke.

 

Edited September 10 by Princess Arabia

[Buck Edwards]

2 minutes ago, Princess Arabia said:

Yes, that's what some of them do. Here's the deal, men find worth different from how women do. They crave to please and are driven to be needed. Whether they realize it or not. If they're not doing anything to feel worthy of your love, they'll resent you for it because you've settled and they want to level up themselves to feel worthy. A lot of men are motivated by women, to be loved by women to be wanted by women and that's why some of them pursue success. If you accept them broke their motivation is shattered and they feel worthless and that's why so many low-income ones become abusive and beat on their women and cheat on them etc, because they don't respect them for settling. You have enabled them to stay lazy, but when they have found the motivation to level up for whatever reason, they leave you for the woman who wouldn't have accepted them broke.

 

True. 

[Princess Arabia]

Only broke men or insecure men get concerned and worry if women love them for them or not. Wealthy men and men of status don't have these concerns. They're too busy making the doe and derive their worth from their success not women.

Edited September 10 by Princess Arabia

[Buck Edwards]

3 minutes ago, Princess Arabia said:

Yes, that's what some of them do. Here's the deal, men find worth different from how women do. They crave to please and are driven to be needed. Whether they realize it or not. If they're not doing anything to feel worthy of your love, they'll resent you for it because you've settled and they want to level up themselves to feel worthy. A lot of men are motivated by women, to be loved by women to be wanted by women and that's why some of them pursue success. If you accept them broke their motivation is shattered and they feel worthless and that's why so many low-income ones become abusive and beat on their women and cheat on them etc, because they don't respect them for settling. You have enabled them to stay lazy, but when they have found the motivation to level up for whatever reason, they leave you for the woman who wouldn't have accepted them broke.

 

Also this is what I've observed in mostly very narcissistic men. The ones who are not narcissistic love and respect and even appreciate the woman for accepting them. Sign of true men. #

 

[Princess Arabia]

7 hours ago, Javfly33 said:

a good friend,

 

7 hours ago, Javfly33 said:

emotional security

This is what gfs are for for women that desire wealthy men or provider men. They don't look to them for friendship or emotional support. What man busy with his business and companies has time for all that. It's different kind of lifestyle for the true provider who provides every aspect of financial stability. They don't play these types of games and are not expected to. Their wives have gf clubs and chihuahuas for emotional support and are happy with that. Do you see Melania worried about the Donald.

Edited September 10 by Princess Arabia

[Princess Arabia]

10 minutes ago, Buck Edwards said:

Also this is what I've observed in mostly very narcissistic men. The ones who are not narcissistic love and respect and even appreciate the woman for accepting them. Sign of true men. #

 

Not necessarily, imo, they just feel lucky that she is willing and able and have surrendered to that. They're still not happy about it, but they have their video games and beer to lean on while they settle. Men can be great actors too and can love without feelings and emotions. 

[Princess Arabia]

Men are happiest when they've made it, become successful and found a woman who truly appreciates them and can be loyal. The ones that made it, become successful but find it hard to find a loyal appreciative woman are the ones depressed, sad and lonely with all their possessions.

Edited September 10 by Princess Arabia