Women don’t love you. They love the life style you can provide?

[NoSelfSelf]

7 minutes ago, AION said:

This song represents how I feel about my ex. When doing self inquiry during I noticed that I projected the perfect feminine ideal archetype onto my ex. 

But is was just a projection…

She is just a human being who eats,  breathes, shits and is full of bull like the rest of us. 

Or just as the prophet Lil Wayne said:

”you are all about her, and she is about hers” like in this song:

 

It is fundamentally wrong to project the perfect feminine archetype on modern day women. We aren’t in the Victorian era. She just wants that lollipop (emotional fix). Her god is her emotion. So it is better to treat a girl as a you know what than to treat her as a queen. 
 

Lil Wayne’s understanding of women is on par. Romantics like Kanye West are not. Romantics are for men. Women have higher priorities in relationships. 

Modern woman 😂 more like classic modern male post, wtf you doing ..

[Emerald]

17 hours ago, CARDOZZO said:

What do you recommend to heal shame?

Books? Practices?

I recommend Shadow Work as this is about loving and embracing the parts of yourself that you have pushed away and rejected. And there are lots of practices for this.

One is to practice dropping judgment by accepting both halves of all polarities.

For example, if someone has the idea that to be passive is good and to be aggressive is bad... that means they will begin rejecting any part of themselves they deem as aggressive. 

But if they instead recognized these as neutral qualities that can be express in positive and negative ways, they can accept both sides of the polarity.

But it's also important to accept ourselves unconditionally, even if we were to have the worst expressions of the traits.

[Emerald]

12 hours ago, AION said:

I meditated on this topic and I found out that shame makes us wear personas (psychological clothes). To be shameless is to undress the personas others have forced us to wear. Or we ourselves made us wear. 
 

Yes, that's true. But even beyond the persona level, it causes us to split ourselves into two categories... good/desirable parts and bad/undesirable parts. And this expresses itself as the personas we use to hide parts of ourselves. 

And we try to annihilate the supposedly bad/undesirable parts. And this creates shame and fragmentation and division... within ourselves and in relation to other people and from the universe at large.

[Ash55]

From my experience the premise from this post is bullshit, yes every relationship need value exchange, but girls do love me for me and care to talk to me and i love them for them too, the toxic stage blue stage red ideas are still alive somehow

[Princess Arabia]

35 minutes ago, Ash55 said:

From my experience the premise from this post is bullshit, yes every relationship need value exchange, but girls do love me for me and care to talk to me and i love them for them too, the toxic stage blue stage red ideas are still alive somehow

The only reason you've experienced this is because of the pureness of your love for women. Most men that complain about all that stuff is because they are just seeing a reflection of their own hearts and mind. Purifying themselves of all the negative beliefs they hold about women will change all that. Same with women. It's that simple. They have believed in their experiences to be Universally true without recognizing how they are only seeing themselves reflected back to them - their beliefs. If something is true, it will have to be true for everyone. Nothing is true for everyone in this illusory world because it's all made up and Reflections of our own states of consciousness.

Edited September 28 by Princess Arabia

[NoSelfSelf]

1 hour ago, Ash55 said:

From my experience the premise from this post is bullshit, yes every relationship need value exchange, but girls do love me for me and care to talk to me and i love them for them too, the toxic stage blue stage red ideas are still alive somehow

That's the ultimate value who you are.

[Elisabeth]

On 9/9/2024 at 0:19 PM, AION said:

Is this true? I hear a friend say this to me and I heard some masculinity coaches saying this. 

From my observations it is true. Especially in a regular relationship where the woman is seeking to start a family and needs a guy to provide and protect. 

Most women are hypergamous. So they want a guy to be better or higher up the social and economic chain. It is pure coincidence but I was talking to a salsa dancing friend and he said the same thing: if you want to make a chance with a girl you have to be the better dancer but that is out of the scope of this thread. 

It makes me think. Does love really exist? Modern relationships are based on value exchange. You basically have to have what the other person wants which is basically value exchange aka win win relationships. Unconditional love is not a real thing; only lack of options which people falsely characterize as love. 

From my personal experience, liking my partner's lifestyle was a big part of making me fall in love with them. However, there are two however:
1) by lifestyle I don't exactly mean money, I mean his hobbies, friends, skills, education, curiosity, vision...

[Note: I don't deny the importance of a roughly similar socio-economic backgrounds --- I probably wouldn't date way down, but I wouldn't date way up either, because a very rich man would have probably little in common with me in terms of values.]

2) I'm talking about this initial stage of "falling in love". It's only later in a relationship that more stable love, informed by true knowledge of each other, can grow. Lifestyles change all the time (someone gets sick, children are born, money is lost...), but with mature love, couples deal with that.

Edited September 28 by Elisabeth