Women don’t love you. They love the life style you can provide?

[BlueOak]

34 minutes ago, Javfly33 said:

What the fuck Bro? Are you even a man? What is this BULLSHIT of 50% 50%?

A man provides. Thats what he does. You pay ALWAYS. 

Then we will want women to be femenine and caring but at the same time we are not being a fucking man and providing. Men sometime are crazy hypocritical too

Ease up and calm down a bit.

I've had too much exposure to good women. I've seen my mother carry three jobs and two kids when my father was near death.
I've seen a woman drop a man because a friend earned a bit more.

I'll let you guess which I took as an example to look for.

Yes a man is a provider, that is a positive trait. I've gone over why in multiple posts as to this filter, and its always served me well in finding good women who appreciate when you provide for them, they don't expect it, it's not assumed, and they all had zero entitlement. Your generation has gone too materialist for its own good.

[Lyubov]

53 minutes ago, Javfly33 said:

What the fuck Bro? Are you even a man? What is this BULLSHIT of 50% 50%?

A man provides. Thats what he does. You pay ALWAYS. 

Then we will want women to be femenine and caring but at the same time we are not being a fucking man and providing. Men sometime are crazy hypocritical too

calm down guy, you'd be surprised how many men are willful slaves to this notion. I'm not saying don't provide, I prefer to pay for my dates as well, free yourself from this expectation, you will see how exploited you are by yourself holding onto these beliefs. you can be paying for those dates while she's hopping on someone else's dick, I've seen it, I've been on both ends. Careful with your money and chi energy. You do not need to provide right away. 

[Javfly33]

I was trolling guys

[AION]

2 hours ago, cjoseph90 said:

Yes. This! It is sad, they are experiencing only a limited part of reality. Yes ok i am biased saying this but, I doubt that the OP has met all the women out there and its sad how the human mind generalises vased on its past, and usually false information.

That is the female equivalent of “not all men”. Of course “not all women” but there is truth to generalizations. 
 

For me the biggest lessons in this thread would be to let go of either / or. I still believe women are hypergamous but that is not the only thing pulling their strings. 
 

Truth is that survival instincts pull harder than love and connection. Love doesn’t pay the bills. So I do get girls in that sense. 

[Basman]

The idea that women don't love "genuinely" is stupid. They do genuinely love because they are human and therefor have great capacity for love and admiration.

But relationships aren't just purely about love but also about value. Relationships are an economy. This is true for both men and women, the prioritize are asymmetrical however and a lot of guys tend to take that for granted in my opinion. Guys tend to assume "hotness" is a given for both genders and assume they can't get a date because they are not "hot".

The difference between men and women is that women rely more on resources gained socially in order to survive because they can't themselves sufficiently provide physical protection and physical goods produced through hard labor (in modern times, the state facilitates both of these things so we can enjoy "equality"). Women tend to prefer men who have it together because of this.

[Emerald]

13 hours ago, AION said:

Thank you. I agree that I have chronic shame. It is also part of a pride culture of my parents. And pride and shame are connected. 

But the thing is giving yourself self love is like asking a poor guy to stop being poor. I don’t think people can love themselves in the secular sense. One needs to connect to god or something. And be given he or she can’t himself / herself. 

Shame is self consciousness. It is when Adam and Eve saw themselves being naked after the forbidden fruit which granted them self consciousness . It is the original sin. The price we paid for being self conscious and being our own gods. 

The thing about shame is that, if you put ANY conditions on your validity, it just creates more shame.

And because another person's affection is conditional, it will just exacerbate the shame issue if you see getting those affections as a necessary pre-requisite for recognizing your own worth and validity.

That's not to say that you must stop seeking connection. It's that, seeking connection as a pre-requisite for letting go of shame and accepting yourself will just create deeper levels of shame. And that's true if every woman in the world started knocking down your door. 

You see this pretty often with successful PUA guys who sleep with 100s of women, but are approaching their desire to be with women from a place of shame. They get good at getting women attracted to them, and on the surface it creates a temporary feeling of validation. But it just brings them deeper into shame and self-hatred... and typically really negative feelings towards women as well.

Also, I made a video about shame and the creation story... and the original sin. It's from my shame and love series.

I'll link it here because I think it will help you... 

 

[Princess Arabia]

4 minutes ago, Emerald said:

The thing about shame is that, if you put ANY conditions on your validity, it just creates more shame.

And because another person's affection is conditional, it will just exacerbate the shame issue if you see getting those affections as a necessary pre-requisite for recognizing your own worth and validity.

That's not to say that you must stop seeking connection. It's that, seeking connection as a pre-requisite for letting go of shame and accepting yourself will just create deeper levels of shame. And that's true if every woman in the world started knocking down your door. 

You see this pretty often with successful PUA guys who sleep with 100s of women, but are approaching their desire to be with women from a place of shame. They get good at getting women attracted to them, and on the surface it creates a temporary feeling of validation. But it just brings them deeper into shame and self-hatred... and typically really negative feelings towards women as well.

Also, I made a video about shame and the creation story... and the original sin. It's from my shame and love series.

I'll link it here because I think it will help you... 

 

Subscribed.

[CARDOZZO]

30 minutes ago, Emerald said:

The thing about shame is that, if you put ANY conditions on your validity, it just creates more shame.

And because another person's affection is conditional, it will just exacerbate the shame issue if you see getting those affections as a necessary pre-requisite for recognizing your own worth and validity.

That's not to say that you must stop seeking connection. It's that, seeking connection as a pre-requisite for letting go of shame and accepting yourself will just create deeper levels of shame. And that's true if every woman in the world started knocking down your door. 

You see this pretty often with successful PUA guys who sleep with 100s of women, but are approaching their desire to be with women from a place of shame. They get good at getting women attracted to them, and on the surface it creates a temporary feeling of validation. But it just brings them deeper into shame and self-hatred... and typically really negative feelings towards women as well.

Also, I made a video about shame and the creation story... and the original sin. It's from my shame and love series.

I'll link it here because I think it will help you... 

 

Did you stop doing stand-up?  

[AION]

14 hours ago, Emerald said:

The thing about shame is that, if you put ANY conditions on your validity, it just creates more shame.

And because another person's affection is conditional, it will just exacerbate the shame issue if you see getting those affections as a necessary pre-requisite for recognizing your own worth and validity.

That's not to say that you must stop seeking connection. It's that, seeking connection as a pre-requisite for letting go of shame and accepting yourself will just create deeper levels of shame. And that's true if every woman in the world started knocking down your door. 

You see this pretty often with successful PUA guys who sleep with 100s of women, but are approaching their desire to be with women from a place of shame. They get good at getting women attracted to them, and on the surface it creates a temporary feeling of validation. But it just brings them deeper into shame and self-hatred... and typically really negative feelings towards women as well.

Also, I made a video about shame and the creation story... and the original sin. It's from my shame and love series.

I'll link it here because I think it will help you... 

 

I just watched all the videos in the series. As far as I understand judgement is the root of all evil. 

One must stop judging ourselves and just be unconditionally ourselves aka shameless. 

It kind of makes sense. I know the good kind of fuck boy who is liked by girls and other people. They are liked because of the shameless - self love - they have. Compared that to a good guy who is full of shame wondering why he is not liked by girls. 
 

Shame is the dimming of your light. If one understands only god can judge, one can be truly himself and re-enter the garden of Eden. 

Edited September 11 by AION

[Atb210201]

No it's not

Love is only about love if a relationship is for Love

There are some roles for men and women in relationships true but those even get destroyed for Love when needed if it's for love

And also in this day and age you know that gender roles are blurring out so there's also that

Nobody knows anymore what a man must do and what a woman must do in a relationship

Gender equality is making the lines disappear as we go on

So who knows anymore who is provider and who is receiver

Although there are still some natural male and female instincts for males and females 

In the end if you want love it's worth compromising everything for your beloved and not overthinking or doubting much

Try to do whatever she or he wants as best as you can

 

Edited September 11 by Atb210201

[Emerald]

21 hours ago, CARDOZZO said:

Did you stop doing stand-up?  

I only did stand-up one time like 8 years ago. But for some reason it's what comes up when you google my name.  

[Emerald]

21 hours ago, Princess Arabia said:

Subscribed.

Thank you!

[Princess Arabia]

5 hours ago, Atb210201 said:

So who knows anymore who is provider and who is receiver

It's not about who's the provider and who's the receiver because provider men are also receiving from the act of providing and women are also giving by being the recipient of the provider/protector role. Both benefit in different ways and both are receiving and giving.

[Keryo Koffa]

@Emerald Did you unlock immortality or psychic powers that stopped aging since you were 16? 😁

[Atb210201]

42 minutes ago, Princess Arabia said:

It's not about who's the provider and who's the receiver because provider men are also receiving from the act of providing and women are also giving by being the recipient of the provider/protector role. Both benefit in different ways and both are receiving and giving.

Yes

[Emerald]

7 hours ago, AION said:

I just watched all the videos in the series. As far as I understand judgement is the root of all evil. 

One must stop judging ourselves and just be unconditionally ourselves aka shameless. 

It kind of makes sense. I know the good kind of fuck boy who is liked by girls and other people. They are liked because of the shameless - self love - they have. Compared that to a good guy who is full of shame wondering why he is not liked by girls. 

Shame is the dimming of your light. If one understands only god can judge, one can be truly himself and re-enter the garden of Eden. 

Thank you for checking out the series. 

And yes, judgment is commonly the root of "evil" actions.... because we begin to view ourselves as good guys fighting the bad guys. And we dehumanize the bad guys.

But this also opens up the possibility that we are bad/invalid because we're viewing the world that way.

[Emerald]

34 minutes ago, Keryo Koffa said:

@Emerald Did you unlock immortality or psychic powers that stopped aging since you were 16? 😁

Thank you for the compliment!  

[CARDOZZO]

1 hour ago, Emerald said:

Thank you for checking out the series. 

And yes, judgment is commonly the root of "evil" actions.... because we begin to view ourselves as good guys fighting the bad guys. And we dehumanize the bad guys.

But this also opens up the possibility that we are bad/invalid because we're viewing the world that way.

What do you recommend to heal shame?

Books? Practices?

[Atb210201]

35 minutes ago, CARDOZZO said:

What do you recommend to heal shame?

Books? Practices?

Sorry for commenting maybe it's none of my business commenting here

But why anyone would need to heal shame?

If I am ashamed of something then I let myself be ashamed there is no shame for me for feeling ashamed

Edited September 12 by Atb210201

[AION]

5 hours ago, CARDOZZO said:

What do you recommend to heal shame?

Books? Practices?

Just stop judging yourself and be authentically yourself. 

Take your shirt off in public and don’t give a fuck. At first you will give fucks but after couple of times you will be just that dude with no shirt. 

There is no books on this. In the same way there are no books you can read which will make your muscles grow by itself. 

You have to find the thing you are ashamed for and just go into that cave. 
For example

• If you are ashamed about your age  go tell random girls your age after a conversation 
• If you are ashamed about your hairy chest show your hairy chest 
• if you are ashamed about a particular past event, go tell people about it until you don’t feel the shame 

Probably your shame is around women. Just go to a hot girl and be your boring self or what ever. Just be “naked” and be shameless in how you truly are. Let go of personas. 
 

You don’t need to read a book or a course on this. This is the method. The only thing I could advice is to pop some MDMA if you care crippling social anxiety. MDMA turns down the survival brain and you can be yourself. 

Edited September 12 by AION