Women don’t love you. They love the life style you can provide?

[aurum]

1 hour ago, AION said:

A guy can actually marry a McDonald chick for who she is. 
 

A women can’t do that. 
 

We aren’t build the same. 
 

That is not judging. I kind of understand. 

This talking point by manosphere dudes is such a double standard.

Just because you can marry a poor girl doesn’t mean your love is any less conditional.

Conditional love is just what humans do.

[Lyubov]

The thing is love isn’t a commodity. It isn’t something that can actually be given. A relationship is just two people relating and then you create love within yourself, you choose to go through these doors. Our partner acts as a sort of mirror for us which we then see this love within us. We do acts which reflect we are creating this love and in turn they do the same. It can come in the form of words, actions or sex which we create the most powerful and intense forms of love. Slow down. Actually examine what love is. Love in english is usually used to describe a physical sensation / vibration in the body which you have chosen to create because from within you are accepting and viewing what is with acceptance, allowing what is to be. You could by extension use the word love to mean look at what is without judgement. The thing is most people like you said do this partially. We do in fact only accept certain things about our partners while accepting other things. This is usually how relationships work. We choose to relate with people where there is this sort of equal balance between the two forces which have certain desires they wish to fulfill. Yin and yang. So yes I would say most women are with a man and love a man for the lifestyle and the actions he takes which show he is creating love within himself. At the same time she should know her beauty and feminine qualities are what interests him. After all, why not just date another man? You are impartial towards wanting to experience certain qualities of hers that fulfill desires. Remember, two opposites make one. It’s not her job to unconditionally accept everything about you, that’s your job to do it for yourself. It’s also not your job to unconditionally accept everything about her, at least not in the sense where you’re obligated to relate to her. I unconditionally accept the male barista who makes my coffee. It doesn’t mean I desire to fuck him. I would say the way forward is to really drop every story or belief you been told about relationships and focus on learning what love is and acceptance is and where it comes from, and how it’s always here for you. Then see how that benefits your relationships with others. It can really transform your life. Don’t look for value and love outside yourself. You have it now already. 

[Lyubov]

2 hours ago, AION said:

A guy can actually marry a McDonald chick for who she is. 
 

A women can’t do that. 
 

We aren’t build the same. 
 

That is not judging. I kind of understand. 

This is just pure bias. A guy will marry her because she is beautiful and feminine and follows his lead. Men usually don’t marry women for who they are, they marry them for what they symbolize to them. It’s conditional as well but in a different way. Go marry a 40 year old HIV positive crack addicted homeless woman on the street and accept everything about them and how that impacts your life. Then you can say you love unconditionally.

Edited September 9 by Lyubov

[Lyubov]

I think what we all would like is to find a partner who is on the same path as us, shares our same values and communicates honestly. You want to be authentically you and be with someone who wants to be with you while you’re being authentic. If a girl doesn’t want to be with you because you don’t have enough cash, then don’t date her. I don’t see the problem. Look for a woman who doesn’t have this preference. 

[Schizophonia]

2 hours ago, Sugarcoat said:

Why you being all non dual here lmao 

Eheh.

[AION]

25 minutes ago, Lyubov said:

This is just pure bias. A guy will marry her because she is beautiful and feminine and follows his lead. Men usually don’t marry women for who they are, they marry them for what they symbolize to them. It’s conditional as well but in a different way. Go marry a 40 year old HIV positive crack addicted homeless woman on the street and accept everything about them and how that impacts your life. Then you can say you love unconditionally.

That is insane. I don’t have HIV. Why should I accept anybody with HIV? I’m not asking for something I don’t have. My whole point is that I don’t want to use my genitals to level up financially and in status. 
 

26 minutes ago, Lyubov said:

The thing is love isn’t a commodity. It isn’t something that can actually be given. A relationship is just two people relating and then you create love within yourself, you choose to go through these doors. Our partner acts as a sort of mirror for us which we then see this love within us. We do acts which reflect we are creating this love and in turn they do the same. It can come in the form of words, actions or sex which we create the most powerful and intense forms of love. Slow down. Actually examine what love is. Love in english is usually used to describe a physical sensation / vibration in the body which you have chosen to create because from within you are accepting and viewing what is with acceptance, allowing what is to be. You could by extension use the word love to mean look at what is without judgement. The thing is most people like you said do this partially. We do in fact only accept certain things about our partners while accepting other things. This is usually how relationships work. We choose to relate with people where there is this sort of equal balance between the two forces which have certain desires they wish to fulfill. Yin and yang. So yes I would say most women are with a man and love a man for the lifestyle and the actions he takes which show he is creating love within himself. At the same time she should know her beauty and feminine qualities are what interests him. After all, why not just date another man? You are impartial towards wanting to experience certain qualities of hers that fulfill desires. Remember, two opposites make one. It’s not her job to unconditionally accept everything about you, that’s your job to do it for yourself. It’s also not your job to unconditionally accept everything about her, at least not in the sense where you’re obligated to relate to her. I unconditionally accept the male barista who makes my coffee. It doesn’t mean I desire to fuck him. I would say the way forward is to really drop every story or belief you been told about relationships and focus on learning what love is and acceptance is and where it comes from, and how it’s always here for you. Then see how that benefits your relationships with others. It can really transform your life. Don’t look for value and love outside yourself. You have it now already. 

Good stuff. Sometimes I forget love can’t be given. Others are just stimulants for love but that doesn’t mean that polish girl I saw yesterday wouldn’t be able to infuse love in me if she sat next to me right now and was caressing me while I was typing this message. Let’s not pretend we are all transcended on this forum. Mostly we are still ruled by about instincts. Human connection is a primal need. 

 

Edited September 9 by AION

[AION]

Self love is actually the center of one’s life. It is the source of abundance and a great life. 

Love is the water source of the metaphorical garden of your mind  from where all the crops grow where you can bear the fruits. 

If you don’t have love. Your garden will be barren and fruitless. And there will be nothing to share with your Eva. 

That is my poor poetic attempt to explain the wisdom I gained today. 😅

[Leo Gura]

Every relationship is a value exchange and survival situation.

You expect to benefit from women and they expect to benefit from you.

Love happens within that.

Women fall in love easily.

Stop consuming Red Pill content.

[Princess Arabia]

5 hours ago, AION said:

Only god can provide you with unconditional love. Finite things can only provide finite love. 

Not being able to love without provision is also unconditional love. Unconditional love means just that, under no conditions. You're looking for conditions as to not need anything from your partner. That's a condition. God doesn't provide conditional love, it IS unconditional love. There's nothing finite here only the Infinite masquerading as finite. You are that, and you are already the love that you seek.

[Princess Arabia]

5 hours ago, AION said:

There is a business side to love.

This is also unconditional love expressing itself as transactional. Nothing wrong with that if one stops seeking what they already are. Take the business side of love and either love or hate it. Your choice. It cannot be any other way because then it'll be conditional.

Edited September 9 by Princess Arabia

[Emerald]

2 hours ago, AION said:

@Emerald that is true.  Lately I have been acting “normal” (less seeking and less over compensation) instead of seeking (trying to get validation and build self esteem) and girls treat me much better. 

It is in inside out approach instead of outside in. It is just very hard to let go of this compulsion. It is really sad actually: I would just run around town or nightclubs to find validation. But that is just a lot of men. Not just me. 

What would help me the most is find guys who already arrived where I want to arrive so I can soak up their mindset and being.  Otherwise I become e pray for manosphere guys who are praying on me. 

I think it would start with knowing where you want to arrive... and even more importantly WHY you want to arrive there.

One issue with the tendency for men to seek out the help of other men who have "gotten there" is that it often misdiagnoses the real issue. And this, in turn, can lead to a tendency to seek out role models that may worsen the real cause of the issue.

And there are many men who have gotten to where you want to get to that are struggling just as much with the deeper issue.

And the real cause of the issue doesn't actually have to do with dating, sexuality, and women. That's just the most symbolically resonant projection screen for the real issue to play itself out on.

The real issue in all of this is shame and a feeling of not being good enough. And even moreso, men liking women more than they love themselves... and seeking out female validation to try to alleviate the shame (which of course doesn't work).

And it imbues a projection of false power onto women, who come to be seen through the projection as hyper-objectifying calculated arbiters of male worth and punishers of male weakness.

And this, in turn, leads to men misunderstanding female sexuality... and instead to read into it a kind of cold power to adjudicate the worthiness of a man.

So, resolving the shame and developing self-love and looking into any reasons for attachment to female validation is necessary to rescind the projections... which in turn, will enable you to really open up to love and connection with women: platonically or romantically.

And if you seek out mentorship with dating or seduction, you'll want to be 100% positive that the mentor you choose is not caught down in the same shame dynamic, as it is a VERY common dynamic for boys and men to get stuck in.

[Schizophonia]

OP just ruminates.

 

[Princess Arabia]

1 hour ago, AION said:

This lesson in this whole ordeal is that you have to love yourself and try to not outsource it to your partner…

But the whole thing about love is how can you give it to yourself when you don’t have it

Great question. You see, we're all that, the Absolute, God, Brahman, whatever you call it and when you make posts like these and give in to these kinds of "self-questionings", it is that very same being in conflict with itself. Through the veil of separation, trying to get back to itself, find itself (so-to-speak), questioning itself, asking itself such questions through you, it's avatar. You already know the answers but this is the game it's playing with itself. If it didn't play this game, it wouldn't know itself. The question above is a direct inclination of this. It has eternity to figure out all this and this is the stepping stone; but only in the relative domain as it is already whole, perfect and complete. Welcome to the game, my friend, enjoy the process of figuring this shit out for yourself. This is why it's called a dream. A mirage, hallucination. 

You don't have love to give you are it, so go and shine that light and stop expecting love in return because you are just neglecting yourself and that part of you that's conditional and the part that doesn't need anything. You will never find what you're looking for because it is already here. 

[Emerald]

2 hours ago, WillCameron said:

Great response, Marshall Rosenberg would be proud. To add to this point, I just released an article that goes into the psychology of the succubus and how it has defined a lot of how we think about sex. Myths are the stories cultures use to explain their reality and orient them through that reality, and even when that mythic language is gone the way they shaped our cognition remains. The manosphere is in many ways a response to the history of the Goddess being murdered by a male hero God, how that is reflected in agricultural societies becoming increasingly dominated by elite males, and the fertility Goddess being recast as a sexual demon. When viewing women through the lens of the succubus much of the manosphere's advice makes sense. For those interested you can read it here - https://metamasculine.substack.com/p/psychology-of-the-succubus

Yes, there are many myths that archetypally refer to the psychological dynamic that many men are caught down in when they end up in a Red Pill mindset.

Really, the Red Pill framework is just the replaying of an ancient mythos couched in modern storytelling... and then projecting that mythos onto reality and believing it is real. And then shadow boxing with the mythos.

And that is because it FEELS real archetypally, and makes sense of the feelings of pain and shame that men collectively feel regarding the expectation of perfect masculinity that is socially enforced.

It is also projecting a mythos onto female sexuality in lieu of deeper understandings that stem from empathy.

One example of this is the mythos of the mermaid. 

The ocean tends to represent emotions and the unconscious. And women tend to be more native to those waters like the mermaid, while the sailor (the man who is un-integrated with his feminine side) is a land-lover who doesn't swim quite so well. 

So, the story is of  vicious calculating mermaids luring the unintegrated sailors to drown in the depths. 

But if the myths were more reflective of the reality... the unintegrated mermaid just doesn't understand that the unintegrated sailor isn't capable of swimming in the emotions and the unconscious without drowning.

So, in actuality she doesn't understand his limitations and that he won't be capable of swimming in the depth until he becomes integrated with his feminine side (Anima) and grows some gills.

[Princess Arabia]

42 minutes ago, AION said:

If you don’t have love.

Learn how to give love. Giving is receiving. When you start to give love to others you are giving it to yourself. That's how you fill your cup in this regard. Love is Universal and when we start to see it as something we should have it blinds us, over shadows us, because it is what you are. We try to gain it from others and tell ourselves we have to have it to give it, then we become hoarders of love thinking we need to start loving ourselves first then we can start to love others. We need to fill our cup with money before we can give that away, fill up on gas before we can drive, fill up on knowledge before teaching, but when it comes to love, it's the energy force that drives the engine to want to give away things that represent the love we already are. So, we don't need to fill up on love to give love, we need to fill up on the things that represent love so we can express the love that we already are.

[Lyubov]

2 hours ago, AION said:

That is insane. I don’t have HIV. Why should I accept anybody with HIV? I’m not asking for something I don’t have. My whole point is that I don’t want to use my genitals to level up financially and in status. 
 

Good stuff. Sometimes I forget love can’t be given. Others are just stimulants for love but that doesn’t mean that polish girl I saw yesterday wouldn’t be able to infuse love in me if she sat next to me right now and was caressing me while I was typing this message. Let’s not pretend we are all transcended on this forum. Mostly we are still ruled by about instincts. Human connection is a primal need. 

 

I’m not saying you have to allow a relationship like this to by our life. I’m saying you are not impartial to what you will and will not accept. A man who marries a broke McDonald’s employee is not some impartial saint. He usually wants a power dynamic where she is easier to lead and has less of an opinion or is young and beautiful: I’m not saying wanting those things are wrong but you framed it as somehow men love unconditionally while women don’t. If a woman has a preference for a man with money that is their preference. Fine. I don’t want to be with a woman who has a super strong value for that. There are plenty of beautiful humble women who don’t want tons of money or expect a super rich guy to upgrade their life. 

[AION]

2 hours ago, Emerald said:

I think it would start with knowing where you want to arrive... and even more importantly WHY you want to arrive there.

One issue with the tendency for men to seek out the help of other men who have "gotten there" is that it often misdiagnoses the real issue. And this, in turn, can lead to a tendency to seek out role models that may worsen the real cause of the issue.

And there are many men who have gotten to where you want to get to that are struggling just as much with the deeper issue.

And the real cause of the issue doesn't actually have to do with dating, sexuality, and women. That's just the most symbolically resonant projection screen for the real issue to play itself out on.

The real issue in all of this is shame and a feeling of not being good enough. And even moreso, men liking women more than they love themselves... and seeking out female validation to try to alleviate the shame (which of course doesn't work).

And it imbues a projection of false power onto women, who come to be seen through the projection as hyper-objectifying calculated arbiters of male worth and punishers of male weakness.

And this, in turn, leads to men misunderstanding female sexuality... and instead to read into it a kind of cold power to adjudicate the worthiness of a man.

So, resolving the shame and developing self-love and looking into any reasons for attachment to female validation is necessary to rescind the projections... which in turn, will enable you to really open up to love and connection with women: platonically or romantically.

And if you seek out mentorship with dating or seduction, you'll want to be 100% positive that the mentor you choose is not caught down in the same shame dynamic, as it is a VERY common dynamic for boys and men to get stuck in.

I talked about what you told me with a female friend (she is helping me with this stuff). And from my experience women don’t ruminate on male shame. And she is not interested on ruminating on this topic. 

From the female perspective she just want a confident guy. You might call it “a guy who is not ashamed of himself”. But most females aren’t involved in that. They don’t want to know how to sausage is made. They just want the sausage: the sausage is women wanting a confident guy who is not self doubting or being ashamed. 
 

I know I shouldn’t discuss these topics with women but I just got dumb struck that the regular women don’t care about male problems. Feminine nature is very ruthless when it comes down to natural selection. 

Also when talking to female friends I hear that females can be ruthless towards each other while I literally never had any hostility with any men. Actually last week I had hostility with two guys but it got resolved very quickly when they found out I was not stepping back. 

Needless to say is that I need to let go of the hope of a girl fixing me or giving me the love I haven’t received. It is a bitter pill to swallow. Shame is basically telling to your self “these parts shouldn’t be there” and the opposite of shame is telling your things that they should be there or it is acceptable that they are there. And accepting that as a basic premise going forward in life and in relationship building. 

For me shame manifests in putting other people on n1 and myself on n2. In my family I always had to do this. So now I need to let go of the shame of “asserting” myself into the world.(( I remember being ashamed of having a dick because I was beaten one time for playing with my dick when I was only few years old. Kind of strange of me remembering that: this is my oldest memory of shame)) And being ok with being denied while anchoring the frame of mind that it is ok to place myself in n1 and that it is nothing to be ashamed of that.

I’m a chronic nice guy. So if I had to write my own prescription I would put it like this in archetypical language: be less of a pussy, and be more like a dick. 

Edited September 9 by AION

[Javfly33]

yes, absolutely. Is completely dystopic and sad. 

Women will 100% of times be with a man that doesn´t feel anything to her but is useful to her, than being with a man that is not as useful or does not provide as much, but truly feels great things for her.

How sad that is??? 

Edited September 9 by Javfly33

[Ajax]

2 hours ago, Princess Arabia said:

Learn how to give love. Giving is receiving. When you start to give love to others you are giving it to yourself. That's how you fill your cup in this regard. Love is Universal and when we start to see it as something we should have it blinds us, over shadows us, because it is what you are. We try to gain it from others and tell ourselves we have to have it to give it, then we become hoarders of love thinking we need to start loving ourselves first then we can start to love others. We need to fill our cup with money before we can give that away, fill up on gas before we can drive, fill up on knowledge before teaching, but when it comes to love, it's the energy force that drives the engine to want to give away things that represent the love we already are. So, we don't need to fill up on love to give love, we need to fill up on the things that represent love so we can express the love that we already are.

Awesome, super powerful!

Don't agree to the limitations you imposed on yourself. The Physical Universe(or dimension if you want to call it that) is a sinkhole, pulling things into the void... into darkness... only light generated by you reverses the downward spiral. Something out of nothing. God makes a way out of no way... light, like love must flow freely and can't be possessed or captured... it is constant and never-ending expansion... 

Beautiful post!

[Princess Arabia]

30 minutes ago, Ajax said:

Something out of nothing

This has started to be my new catch phrase lately, (in my personal life). People look at me like, wtf are you talking about. I'd be like, "that shit came outta nowhere". They be like, Ah, ah, nope, it came from my ass putting it there, or somebody else". I'd be like, "Well, where was it before that", they can't answer or come up with stuff like, somebody else had it or it was in the bank or some logic like that. I just leave it alone at that point cause then they're going to have to explain it backwards to Infinity. Hehe